


Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond.

by churchofyourcurves



Series: Of sensible hearts and dangerous minds. [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-17 04:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 113,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3515432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churchofyourcurves/pseuds/churchofyourcurves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter AU. Sequel to 'Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also'.</p><p>Last year Laura Hollis hoped for a change.</p><p>This year she hopes for no break-ins, tyrannical authority figures, or fighting for her life.</p><p>Or maybe just less of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Year

Laura Hollis stood between platform 9 and 10 at the Kings Cross station and checked her watch. Carmilla had disappeared ten minutes ago muttering something and had yet to return. As a prefect Laura was meant to help the students organize themselves on the train and starting her sixth year late wasn’t really the best way to go.

She spotted Carmilla dodging through the crowd and relief flooded her system. Then Carmilla held up a packet of her favourite chocolate chip cookies and she smiled wide.

Okay, she probably should have given her more credit.

“Okay Dad, we have to go now.”

“Are you sure you have everything?” he asked, eyeing both of their trolleys. Carmilla had far less belongings than Laura, and in a much better state, barring the cat scratches on one corner of her trunk. Carmilla’s cat Lestat blinked at Laura’s owl Thorondor then turned in his carrier and curled up to sleep.

“Yes, I’m sure.” She brought her dad into a tight hug.

He had let Carmilla stay over the holidays thanks to her… _complicated_ family situation. With her step mother a wanted fugitive, her step brother missing, and no other living relatives it hadn’t been difficult to convince her dad to let Carmilla crash.

The fact that he’d found them in a compromising position in the first week of holidays had, luckily, not changed his mind. Although, Carmilla had been promptly moved into the spare room and an open door policy had been instated. And he’d had a long conversation with Carmilla about what her intentions with Laura were.

In short, it had been completely humiliating.

“Alright, be safe L Bear. I love you.”

“I love you too Dad.”

Carmilla arrived and her dad let her go so that he could pull Carmilla into a hug. Carmilla tensed at first but relaxed soon after. Laura smiled; she was relaxing quicker these days.

“I love you,” he said into her hair and when he pulled back he gave her a stern look. “Now, you make sure you stay safe, okay?” His face twisted with concern. “Are you sure that you don’t want any bear spray?”

Carmilla looked amused at her father’s fussing, which was better than the annoyance that Laura thought she might have felt.

“I _can_ turn into a giant panther, Mr Hollis.”

This wasn’t the first time that Carmilla had dropped the fact that she was an Animagus. That had been during one of her dad’s safety rants and it had made him stop talking mid-sentence and stare at her openly. He then asked her to show him and yelped in surprise when she did. Laura didn’t blame him for not expecting it, it was kind of difficult to tell when Carmilla was being sarcastic. Now he simply nodded as if he’d forgotten a common sense fact. “Right, right.” He clapped his hands. “Okay girls, have fun at school, I expect letters from both of you, and good luck on your N.E.W.T.s, Carmilla.”

Carmilla shrugged a nod as if the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests would be a breeze and they both farewelled him, took a hold of their trolleys and went through the barrier.

Laura let out a breath as they arrived on platform 9¾. While she did love the non-magical world (because, hello, internet?) she felt more at home in the wizarding world. Like she could truly be herself.

“Laura!”

Suddenly Laura found herself being pulled into a hug by Perry, getting a face full of her bouncing red curls in the process. Even though they had spent time together over the holidays, it was nice to see her again. LaFontaine stood behind Perry and greeted Laura with a wave and a lopsided smile. Once Perry was done hugging Laura, LaFontaine jumped in and Perry tugged Carmilla into a hug.

Carmilla grunted and rolled her eyes. “We saw each other like a week ago.”

Perry ignored her as she continued to hug her. “It’s nice to see you too, Carmilla.”

Once greetings had finished Perry pointed out, “You’re late.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Carm-”

“Was being like super thoughtful and buying you cookies?” Carmilla inserted.

Laura smiled charmingly at her and pecked her on the lips, taking the cookies from Carmilla’s grasp while she was distracted. “Exactly.”

Perry watched their interaction with barely concealed happiness. “Alright, come on Laura, we have to sort everyone out on the train.” She gestured around them to the platform that was bustling with people catching up over the holidays, parents fussing, and tiny, wide-eyed first years.

“I’ll see you at school,” Perry promised LaFontaine and gave them a quick kiss.

Carmilla kissed Laura on the cheek and muttered, “Say hi to the dudebro for me. And ask him how his leg is.”

Laura beamed at her and then left with Perry to perform their prefect duties.

“So are you a front carriage or back carriage kind of girl?” LaFontaine asked Carmilla once both of their girlfriends had left. Carmilla shot LaFontaine a look.

LaFontaine shrugged. “I make no assumptions.”

“Come on, Ginger Snap.” Carmilla started making her way to one of the rear carriages. She glanced back at them and narrowed her eyes. “Did your hair get shorter?”

LaFontaine grimaced. “I was trying out a new potion method and I burned it off.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment any further.

\---

The moment Kirsch spotted Laura on the train he bounded over to her and lifted her into the air with a powerful hug, making her squeal and giggle. Then he offered Perry a low bow, complete with a flourish of his hand.

“You’re in a good mood,” Perry observed.

“Hell yeah, I get to see you guys, what’s not to be in a good mood about?”

“Perry’s right…” Laura examined Kirsch closely. “Did something happen with Danny?”

Kirsch reddened and looked around them to check if anyone had heard her.

Last year after the old Headmistress had fled the school grounds and Eames had been captured, Danny and Kirsch no longer needed to fake a relationship to explain her inclusion in their group. When Carmilla had pointed that out they had both, with painful degrees of awkwardness, discussed how to proceed. Kirsch had suggested that she break up with him so that the Summer Society girls didn’t offer her any pity (knowing how much she hated it); while she said that he should be the one to break up with her so that the Zetas didn’t start trying to get him a rebound (she did not say this last part out loud, but he had been as averse to this idea as she was).

In the end, they had both argued so much over who should break up with the other that they’d just remained ‘together’.

LaFontaine had tried to strike up another bet with Carmilla about when the two Gryffindors would get together, but Carmilla had waved them off saying that those two would probably get married and have kids before they’d actually admit to each other that they wanted to be together.

“No, why would something have happened with Danny?” Kirsch laughed nervously. “That wouldn’t put me in a good mood.” He continued to laugh forcefully and Perry and Laura traded a look. “I’m just happy to see my bros.”

“Right. Well let's keep going then,” Perry urged them on through the carriages until they finally had everyone sorted and headed to the prefects’ carriage.

Perry had been chosen to be the Hufflepuff Head Girl, which wasn’t a surprise given that she was a top student and a skilled Quidditch player. Being talented on the pitch made her well known and liked on principle, even if people weren’t always a fan of her personality. She greeted the other Heads and they began to discuss things as they waited for the other prefects to arrive.

“Oh! Carmilla says hi, by the way,” Laura told Kirsch over the table as they took a seat.

He looked completely surprised. “Really?”

“And she was wondering how your leg was.” Laura had no idea what had happened to Kirsch’s leg, but it was sweet of Carmilla to ask.

Kirsch was taking a drink of water while she said that and he choked on it, coughing several times and covering his mouth.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kirsch wheezed. “I’m fine. Sorry. I’m fine.”

Laura made a mental note to ask Carmilla later about what had happened to Kirsch’s leg.

\---

“You’re friends with Danny’s half brother?” LaFontaine asked through a mouthful of pumpkin pastie.

They had a cabin to themselves thanks to their seventh year status and Carmilla’s glaring skills. LaFontaine had practically bought everything off the food trolley and their seat was now covered in a collection of food ranging from savoury to sweet.

“Not ‘friends’.”

“Fine, whatever, pen pals?”

“My step mother hated his father, so when I was stuck at the Ministry I would talk to him to annoy her.” Carmilla spoke about her step mother more freely these days, although only with the group, and only in such a casual way that it made it seem like she hadn't almost killed Carmilla last year.

“And you’re both torturing Danny and Kirsch.”

“Only as much as they torture us.” Carmilla put the back of her hand to her forehead and blinked several times, widening her eyes melodramatically. “I hate you, I love you, will we, won’t we, oh _God!_ ” Carmilla swooned, falling backwards onto the seat and her eyes fluttering closed. After a moment she reopened her eyes and looked over at LaFontaine, who was giving her a hearty one handed clap against their thigh, their other hand occupied with a pastie. Carmilla sat up again. “Honestly, they need to both be slapped.”

“Like you can talk.”

“Like _you_ can,” Carmilla shot back. “It took me less than a year to get with Laura, how long did it take you, Tweedle Dum?”

LaFontaine threw a Bertie Bott’s Bean at Carmilla, who caught it and popped it into her mouth. Carmilla chewed it slowly for a moment and then nodded. “Bacon.”

LaFontaine pouted. “Damn, I always wanted bacon.” They grabbed a similarly coloured bean from their packet and tried it. “Ugh. Pomegranate.”

Carmilla stole one of their chocolate frogs and ate it. “What’s wrong with pomegranate?” She checked the card that came with the frog and flicked it back over to LaFontaine.

“The seeds weird me out,” LaFontaine replied as they checked the card that Carmilla had flicked at them. Carmilla raised an eyebrow but didn’t mention that the beans didn’t have any seeds. “Dude, you don’t like Babayaga? Thought she’d be right up your alley.”

Carmilla shrugged. “Already have like ten of her cards.”

\---

Perry looked around the prefects’ cabin with a bright smile. “So I believe that if all those rules are followed we will have a wonderful year.”

Robbins, the fifth year Gryffindor prefect, raised his hand and she called on him, “Yes?”

“Is it true that last year you stopped Eames?”

Perry’s eyes flicked to Laura and Kirsch before she said curtly, “I fail to see how that relates to your prefect duties.”

Robbins shifted uncomfortably in his seat and dropped his eyes down to the table.

“I am not interested in confirming, denying or spreading rumours about what happened last year,” Perry said assertively. “And this is the last time I will address it.” She made sure to look pointedly around the room before nodding and smiling again. “Alright, I think that’s all on the agenda.” She double-checked by glancing at the rest of the heads and then she nodded. “Here’s to a good and safe year.”

All the prefects around the table raised their goblets and said the school motto together, “Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus.”

And so began Laura Hollis’ sixth year at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	2. The Sorting Hat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the awesome response! I love you all, you make my day with your kind comments, you're all freaking awesome :)

The welcoming feast was the only time that it was compulsory for students to sit at their house tables so that the newly sorted first years could find their houses. While neither Perry nor Laura were too pleased that they wouldn’t be able to eat their first school dinner with their respective other halves, they still chatted enthusiastically about the school paper that Laura was in charge of (she was considering expanding and bringing more writers and maybe some comic illustrators on); and Perry’s plans for the prefects (she had been working on the perfect prefect roster to optimize their time and effort).

The sorting commenced and they cheered each time a new person was added to the Hufflepuffs and clapped enthusiastically for the other houses. The first years all looked terrified and Laura could remember what that had been like with crystal clarity so she wanted to make sure that each of them felt welcomed.

“Lawrence, John.” A small redhead strode onto the stage and Laura leaned over to Perry.

“Is that Danny’s brother?”

Perry nodded. “They’re twins.” She gestured towards the identical boy who stood off the stage rocking back and forth. He shot two thumbs up and a grin towards his brother as he sat on the stool and the sorting hat was placed on his head.

The hat paused for a moment and then called out, “Slytherin!”

The Slytherins cheered and Laura made sure to join them, clapping hard for Danny’s younger brother.

“Lawrence, Tim.”

Before his name had even been called completely, Tim was already on the stage and walking towards the hat.

The hat had barely touched his head when it shouted, “Hufflepuff!”

From her spot at the front of the hall it was easy for Laura to see the betrayed expression on Tim’s face. He looked back towards Professor Longbottom, who leaned forward and said something quietly in his ear. He nodded and headed over to the cheering Hufflepuff table, shoulders sagging. Laura looked over at the Slytherin table and John was wearing a similar pained look at being separated from his twin.

Laura made her way over to the small Lawrence twin and kneeled behind him so that she was at his eye level.

“Hey, are you Danny’s brother?”

He swiped at his face quickly with his robe sleeve and turned to her, sniffing hard. “Yeah.”

“I’m Danny’s friend, Laura. It’s nice to meet you Tim.” She stuck her hand out to him and he looked down at it before shaking it.

“You’re Laura?” He sniffed again but his expression had gone from sad to curious. “Danny said if I was in Hufflepuff I should talk to you if I needed any help.”

Laura smiled warmly. “Absolutely!” He sent another look towards the Slytherin table and Laura remembered why she’d come over. “Are you upset because you’re in Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin?”

He shook his head. “No, I like Hufflepuff.”

“Are you worried you won’t see your brother?”

He nodded miserably.

“It’s okay, Tim. You can actually spend a lot of time with people from other houses, after tonight you can even sit with them when you eat.”

“Really?” No one must have mentioned it to the small boy, assuming that the twins would get sorted into the same house.

“Totally!”

“What about classes and stuff?”

“You get to share some classes with Slytherin,” Laura offered and he brightened considerably. “Plus, I’m sure you’ll make plenty of friends, you seem like a cool little dude.”

He seemed a little less distraught than before as he nodded and tried to offer her a smile. She gave him a quick squeeze of a hug and whispered conspiratorially, “And if you still feel lonely, then you can totally find me or the Head Girl Perry, who’s also Danny’s friend,” she pointed out Perry, who was watching her with an affectionate look on her face, “Whenever you want and I’ll show you some of super cool stuff that some of the older kids get up to okay?”

This time his smile was wider as he nodded enthusiastically. “Okay.”

Laura smiled at him and made her way back to her seat just as the last first year was sorted. When she sat back down Perry was giving her the same affectionate look. “Laura Hollis, you are an angel.”

Laura blushed and looked down at her plate.

\---

Once they’d showed all the first years to the common room and run them through the welcome spiel, Perry and Laura went to meet the rest of the group down in the Great Hall.

In the interest of interhouse cooperation, the Great Hall had become a sort of school common room outside of meal times. One of the long tables was kept to the side for those who wanted to study, while the rest of the hall was filled with comfortable couches, armchairs, a few Wizards chess tables, and other paraphernalia that had either been supplied by the students or the school. As the exams came closer more study tables would be added, but for now all the students wanted to do was relax and catch up with their friends.

LaFontaine and Carmilla were already there, arguing about the practical versus theoretical study of potions.

“What would you know? You don’t even take Potions.”

“Maybe I just don’t like being stuck in a dungeon.”

“You remember I was in your class for five years, right?” LaFontaine asked incredulously. Carmilla was well known for losing her patience during Potions and causing them to explode – sometimes on purpose, sometimes not.

“Oh go burn off more of your hair,” Carmilla muttered.

Before LaFontaine could reply to that they spotted Perry and brightened. “Hey Perr, how was first year duty?”

Carmilla scowled at the mention of the first years, as if even mentioning that they existed caused her annoyance. Laura took a seat next to Carmilla on the couch and leaned against her, grabbing one of Carmilla’s arms and wrapping it around herself. The corner of Carmilla’s mouth twisted up as she shifted to make herself more comfortable for Laura to lean on.

Perry took a seat on the rug between LaFontaine’s legs, gathering her skirt and robes into her hand and arranging them neatly as she did. LaFontaine grinned and leaned forward on the bean bag they were sitting on, wrapping their arms around Perry's waist. When the bean bag appeared LaFontaine had immediately run over to it while Carmilla eyed it judgmentally.

“It was good! They all seemed a bit overwhelmed, but I think that I left the impression of a Head Girl that they could come to with their problems.”

“You totally did,” Laura reassured her.

“Or they find you overbearing and intense.”

Laura elbowed Carmilla in the side. “No they don’t.”

Perry considered it. “I can deal with overbearing and intense. The Head Girl when I was in first year was overbearing and intense. But I trusted her.”

“You found someone overbearing and intense?” Carmilla asked incredulously.

“Well… No, but everyone else did.”

Carmilla nodded. “There it is.”

\---

Kirsch was headed to the Great Hall when he came across a tiny Slytherin boy wandering the halls. The boy tried to duck behind a pillar but Kirsch could recognise that red hair anywhere.

“John?”

Danny’s little brother stepped out from behind the pillar reluctantly.

“Hey dude, you remember me?”

“Yeah, you’re Danny’s boyfriend.”

Kirsch spluttered. “What? I’m not- we aren’t-” John kept looking at him disbelievingly so he gave up and changed the topic. “What are you doing out? Shouldn’t you be in your common room getting to know your fellow bros?”

John bit his lip and avoided answering the question, instead asking, “Do you know where the Hufflepuff common room is?”

“You want to see your brother hey?”

“No.” John pouted. “I just wanted to give him… It’s the first time we’ve slept in different rooms and he’s the young one so he’s still a baby and he needs…” Kirsch frowned in confusion, not catching on to what John meant. John sighed and asked, “Can you just tell me where the common room is?”

“Sorry little bro, Hufflepuff common room is off limits.”

“But he _needs_ Moo,” he burst out.

“Moo?”

John looked torn, clearly he’d said it accidentally and was now panicking because he’d revealed too much.

Kirsch stooped down to his level. “I have a few friends in Hufflepuff, I can give them Moo so that they can pass it on to Tim?”

John eyed him suspiciously and quickly checked around the hallway before digging into his robes and pulling out a worn looking toy House Elf wearing a pillowcase dress. John looked embarrassed to be holding it out to Kirsch and Kirsch took the soft toy carefully from John and tucked it into his own robes.

“Don’t worry little bro, Moo will totally make it to Tim.”

The look on John’s face made it clear that he was more attached to Moo than he’d let on, so Kirsch gave him a bear hug. “Hey, you know if you want to get to hang out with your brother more and meet some new people, we’ve got this awesome group called the Zetas…”

\---

Kirsch dropped down onto the rug, his limbs collapsing under him into a heap in a messy yet still somehow coordinated way that managed not to hit any of the people around him. Laura passed him a mostly empty cookie packet and he scoffed two down in one go.

“Gryffindors give you trouble, Iron Giant?” Carmilla asked. She had an arm draped over Laura’s shoulders casually and her hand was tracing circles along Laura’s upper arm. Laura had a soft smile as she mirrored the circle tracing on Carmilla’s knee, finger drifting lazily along the bare skin.

“Why, did you miss me?” he asked with a smartass grin.

“So, how _is_ that leg?” she shot back. Laura started, remembering that she wanted to ask Carmilla about what that meant.

Kirsch had the same embarrassed reaction he'd had when Laura had asked earlier and in a hope to change the focus he blurted, “I’m going to try and get Danny’s brothers to join the Zetas.”

LaFontaine snorted loudly as they grabbed the last cookie from the packet and split it with Perry. “Have you got a death wish?”

“Do you think she’ll still care?” he asked, looking around the group with a worried expression. He had figured that since she wasn’t at the school anymore she wouldn’t mind, he was just trying to help them out.

The rest of them shared a look and Perry patted him on the knee. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

The next morning at breakfast a red letter dropped down to Kirsch and he stared at it as a feeling of dread flooded his body. It wasn’t from his family, who had never seen a howler in their life, so that only really left one option.

Carmilla burst out laughing as she saw the red envelope while the rest of them had somewhat more subdued reactions, staring at it with wide eyes.

He briefly considered ignoring it, but he’d seen what happened when you did that. Aprils had ignored a howler from his father back in second year and stashed it in his trunk. Half a minute later it blew a hole clean through it. He looked around the table and swallowed, opening the envelope.

“Brody Kirsch! How _dare_ you try to recruit my little brothers into your stupid boneheaded cult? What gave you the right? They’re my _brothers_ , not your bros, and there is no way I’m letting you turn them into Zetas. Don’t make me come over there and kick your ass, because I will!”

The howler burst into flames, ashes settling all over his plate.

Wordlessly LaFontaine passed over their plate of food in commiseration and Kirsch accepted it looking shell shocked. Carmilla was shaking from laughing so hard, the only sounds she could make were weak wheezes.

Across the Great Hall a group of Summer Society girls burst into applause. In response one of the Zetas started to chant ‘Zeta, Zeta’, which caught on with all the Zetas around the hall and some of the first years who wanted to join the group.

One of the Summer Society girls, who happened to be sitting across from a Zeta bro, rolled her eyes and threw a piece of bread at him. He retaliated by flicking a spoonful of porridge back at her.

And so began the first food fight of the year.

\---

_You totally started a food fight with that howler. I mean it was kind of cool, but dude._

_Also, I totally only asked him to join the Zetas cos he looked bummed at being sorted into a different house from Tim. I was trying to do him a solid, y’know?_

_How’s auror training going? Are you even allowed to tell me? Totally cool if you don’t. Or maybe we should start like a code language. That would be pretty cool, we’d be like spies. But not spies cos we’re not trying to spy on aurors._

_(Do they read these letters? I totally didn’t mean anything by that bros.)_

_Anyway, being back at school’s kinda weird. Like it feels different? I guess cos it’s my last year._

_Hoping we can find a decent replacement Keeper next week. I’ll let you know how tryouts go._

_Kirsch_

_P.S. Carmilla asked me about my leg. How does she even know?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	3. The History of Magic

Carmilla was talking about the reason for the vastly different climates of planet moons and the different theories behind why their rotational degree varied when Laura asked, “Do you know what you’re going to do after you finish school?”

It wasn’t that Laura wasn’t listening, she was. She always listened when Carmilla spoke, and she loved the way that Carmilla always got really passionate about explaining things, but it had occurred to her that they’d never really discussed it before. And starting her N.E.W.T.s subjects had her thinking about the future and what she was going to do after school (journalism, obviously, but she needed fallbacks too). And that made her think about what Carmilla would be doing after school (and what school would be like for her once Carmilla and the rest of the group graduated. That wasn’t such a pleasant thought).

Carmilla blinked at Laura’s sudden change of subject. She took a moment to shift her thoughts from the far reaches of the galaxy to her girlfriend’s concerns.

She cleared her throat. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

Laura sat up on the mattress that they’d brought out onto the Astronomy Tower roof. “What do you mean you’ve never really thought about it?”

Carmilla shrugged under Laura’s gaze and sat up as well, not being comfortable with remaining lying down while Laura was up. This didn’t really feel like a lying down conversation.

“I tried not to think about the future. I never really saw myself having one.” 

Laura winced and Carmilla quickly corrected herself, “Not like that. I just- I don’t know. It never occurred to me that I’d be able to choose.” She shrugged. “The most I could hope for was to disappear and never have to see my step mother again. Or Will.” Her lip curled in distaste.

“Well,” Laura placed her hand over Carmilla’s, “Now you can. Right?”

“Right,” Carmilla replied, although she didn’t sound too convinced.

“Oh!” Laura exclaimed and Carmilla’s stomach dropped as she wondered what Laura would say next. “What was with the Kirsch leg thing?”

Carmilla felt relief enter her system, although a churning feeling remained in the pit of her stomach as she barked a laugh. “Oh, right, that.”

\---

Laura’s first subject of term was History of Magic, a subject that no one else had really understood why she’d chosen. Even Perry had asked if she was sure that she wanted to do it. She insisted that to be a good journalist you had to have a thorough awareness of history and culture. Carmilla had suggested she read books instead, but Laura preferred to learn things through being taught rather than reading. Even when Professor Bins was the teacher.

Laura had only achieved an Exceeds Expectations in her O.W.L.s, but because she was the only student to pursue it at N.E.W.T.s level in… well, considering the reaction of her head of house - Professor Armitage - it was safe to say a very long time, she was allowed to take it without any issue.

When she got into the classroom and set up her textbook, quills and parchment she wondered if the learning experience would be any different when it was just her and Professor Binns. And if he’d even notice.

The door opened, which surprised Laura because there wasn’t meant to be anyone else in this class and Professor Binns always entered through the blackboard. A girl entered the room, her head bowed, and she walked to the back of the classroom without looking up at Laura.

Laura watched her curiously. She didn’t really recognize the girl, which wasn't that odd because she didn't know a lot of people from her year, especially not Slytherins. She had dark, smooth skin and her black hair was pulled back into a neat French braid. The way her head was bowed reminded Laura of how she used to be, trying to draw the least amount of attention to herself as possible.

Before Laura could wonder any further about who the girl was or introduce herself to her, Professor Binns floated in through the blackboard and started to rehash what they’d learned last year about the Giant Wars.

\---

“How was History of Magic?” Carmilla was waiting for Laura outside her classroom when class finished. She’d been planning on approaching the mystery Slytherin girl after class but seeing Carmilla distracted her and the girl must have slipped past her. Next class she would, she promised herself. She smiled as she pulled Carmilla in for a kiss.

“Truly thrilling,” Laura said with a heavy dose of irony. Carmilla slipped her hand into Laura’s as they walked down the halls.

“Hey, you wanted to take it. Maybe they’ll still let you drop it?”

“It’s fine,” Laura waved her off. “What do you have next?”

Carmilla checked her schedule with her free hand. “Non-Magical Studies with Pippi Longstocking.” She groaned. “She always asks me if non-magicals really do the things we learn about.”

Carmilla had spent so much time with Perry now that using the term ‘non-magicals’ instead of ‘muggles’ had become second nature. While at first she’d taken great entertainment in mocking Perry’s politically correct preferences, she had grown bored of that particular taunt.

Laura laughed lightly and Carmilla shot her a quick grin. “What do you have?”

“Transfiguration,” Laura sighed. Even though she had done really well in her O.W.L.s, Professor Novo still intimidated her.

“Don’t worry, Novo likes the older students.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“If I’m wrong, I’ll totally repay you.”

“Oh? And what would this ‘repayment’ involve?” Laura flirted and Carmilla smirked.

“Ladies choice.” She pulled Laura in with her hand and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to her neck. Laura let out a soft sigh and Carmilla pulled back, a huge grin on her face. She untangled her fingers from Laura’s and started walking backwards in the direction of her classroom, which was in the opposite direction of Laura’s.

“I’ll see you at lunch,” Carmilla promised.

“Unless you want to go to the library instead,” Laura suggested with a lilt to her voice as she bit her lip. The fact that Carmilla knew the library so well meant that she knew all the best secret make-out spots, something that they had taken plenty of advantage of at the end of last year and Laura was looking to continue that this year.

Carmilla froze midstep and a huge grin spread over her face. “Is that even a question, cupcake?”

\---

Perry was needling Carmilla to explain the internet better to her when there was a knock on the classroom door. A student came in and spoke quietly to Professor Cochrane. She nodded and called out, “Carmilla, you’re needed at the Headmistress’ office.”

Carmilla froze, a sudden panic gripping her, but then she realised that it wasn’t last year – there was a different Headmistress this year. It was fine. She was fine.

Perry must have noticed the shift in her demeanour because she was looking at Carmilla like she was going to say something. Carmilla shoved her chair back and stood before Perry could do something stupid like hug her or something. Carmilla was rounding the table towards the front when the Professor suggested she take her things with her and she twisted back towards her table, grabbing her stuff into a rough pile and refusing to look at Perry because her hands were shaking.

As she walked to the office her head was a mess of her reassuring herself that her step mother was gone, and imagining getting there to find her step mother waiting. What would she even say? ‘Fuck you’ was succinct but wouldn’t quite leave enough of an impression. Maybe some casual comment about expecting her to come back – rob her of the satisfaction of surprising Carmilla. Or maybe she’d just draw her wand and stun her. Carmilla’s hand went into her pocket and she wrapped her fingers tightly around her wand. She would be fine, even if her step mother was there, because she’d been practicing and now she was sure she’d be able to get at least one shot in. Laura’s father had an obsession with football, and he’d spend a lot of time at the dinner dissecting defense strategies and she was fairly sure that it would transfer over to duels. Maybe.

When she got to the Gargoyle Corridor she was greeted by a group of adults who all wore serious expressions. Well, a group of adults and Elsie Kartell.

“Kartell,” Carmilla nodded to her. “Did you have something to do with this?”

Elsie’s expression was more serious than Carmilla was used to. Elsie shook her head very slightly, not as an answer to her question, but telling her that this wasn’t the time. Next to Elsie were an assortment of other people Carmilla recognized as aurors, as well as the head of the MLE, Jasper Pullen.

Pullen was an auror, unlike Carmilla’s step mother, and he had the looks to prove it. There was a long puckered scar that stretched from the corner of his mouth all the way across to his ear. He was tall, not tall enough to look half-giant, but tall enough to make an impact in any room he walked into. He wasn't wide but it was clear that he was well-muscled, in the way that he held himself and the defined cords of his neck muscles. His hair was shorn short, practically non existent, and he had a strong brow. His eyes were a piercing clear blue in a stunningly direct contrast to his dark skin and brimmed with intelligence, discerning in a way that made you sure that he’d taken in everything around him and filed it away for future reference. He wore a long, worn looking brown coat that trailed along the ground and looked like it had been mended may times over, but his pinstripe suit underneath was sharp and clean. Carmilla had never met him personally during her time spent at the Ministry, only seen him in passing, and usually he was dragging a criminal along.

Pullen nodded at her sharply. “Miss Karnstein.”

“Sir,” she replied with no hint of irony. She knew when to shut her mouth, and Pullen was the sort of person who made everyone shut their mouths.

He gestured her towards the corridor, where the Gargoyle had already moved aside, and she entered followed by the group of aurors. They walked up to the Headmistress’ office in silence and, even though her previous anxiety was still sitting on her chest, the presence of the aurors did alleviate it some. If she was going to face her step mother Pullen would definitely be the person she’d want by her side.

When they entered the office there was no one else in there and she absently wondered where the Headmistress was.

“We wanted to speak to you about your step mother,” Pullen started.

Carmilla was still facing away from him when he said this and she gave herself a moment to clench her jaw, ball her hands into fists, and let out a breath before she turned to face him. “Oh?”

“Miss Karnstein, did you hear about the break in to the Ministry two months ago? And the subsequent break in at Gringotts a month ago?”

“I’ve been staying with-” She stopped herself from speaking, Pullen wouldn’t care who she’d been staying with, he’d only want the facts. “I’ve been in the non-magical world.”

He nodded. “Your step mother is our lead suspect.”

She bit back the ‘obviously’ and instead said, “I don’t know where she is.”

“We know,” Elsie said, stepping forward. Pullen shot her a look and she stepped back into line, head down.

“We know,” he repeated. “But you lived with her for six years, surely you know something. Where she might find safe, how she thinks.”

This time Carmilla couldn’t help it. “And how long did you work with her for?”

His face hardened, eyes getting colder and somehow turning a lighter blue.

Carmilla forced her temper down, gritting her teeth through it. “If I could help you I would. Believe me, I want you to catch her.”

Pullen didn’t look convinced. Then again, he didn’t look much of anything. Even his rage barely showed up on his face. “And you have no idea what she’s looking for?”

Carmilla matched his gaze evenly. “No.”

\---

_I’m not apologizing to you for the howler. You deserved that._

_I can’t tell you anything, but you can keep writing me if you want. I miss Hogwarts._

_Jason wants to try out for Keeper. Don’t show him any special treatment, but if he’s good don’t not choose him because he’s my brother._

_Tell Carmilla to shut up._

_Danny_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	4. The Quidditch Try-Out

Kirsch clapped his hands together as he walked onto the Quidditch pitch, rubbing them to get rid of the morning chill. The people who were trying out were standing in a line in front of him, Aprils behind him. “Alright guys, we’re looking for a new Keeper and Seeker. These are two of the most important positions on the team so I’ll be looking for the best.”

“You say that about every position,” Aprils called out.

“Well, every position is important,” he replied without missing a beat. “For the Seeker I need someone who can spot a Snitch, but also knows when to catch it. Either to win or to make sure that we don’t lose too badly.” The memory of the Hufflepuff game twinged in the back of his mind but he pushed it aside.

“The Keeper needs to be someone who can act on pure instinct. It’s not just about having good reflexes.” He threw a Quaffle at one of the students trying out for Keeper and they dropped it. He gestured for them to step back out of the line, which they did while muttering under their breath. The person next to them threw the Quaffle back at Kirsch and he caught it and started casually tossing it up in the air and catching it. “It’s also about trusting your instincts. If you think someone is going to go for the left hoop, you defend that hoop. Don’t hold back and get stuck between two hoops. You save it or you don’t, but don’t ruin your chances by hesitating.”

Just as the Quaffle landed back in his hand he threw it at Jason, Danny’s younger brother who was in fourth year, and he caught it without blinking. Kirsch grinned.

“Alright, let’s get you up in the air. Keepers with me, Seekers with Aprils.”

There were three people left trying out for the Keeper spot, a second year girl who looked terrified but determined, Jason, and a sixth year Zeta. Kirsch knew the Zeta, he was a decent enough guy, but he had been bugging Kirsch for a spot ever since Kirsch had become captain of the team. Each time he had tried out for a position Kirsch had knocked him back because he always had this air of confidence that didn’t match up with his skill level.

Kirsch didn’t mind confidence in a player, hell he had a bucket load of it himself, but undeserved confidence drove him crazy because it was so difficult to work with in training.

He had them flying in a line, in and out of the hoops, and closely watched their turns and how they moved with their brooms. The Zeta made turns showily, every move oozing sureness and lacking the instinctual speed that Kirsch was looking for. The second year definitely had potential, she moved hard and determined, frowning as she stared ahead of her and jerked her broom back and forth. Jason was bringing up the rear, moving fluidly through the goals and even though it was obvious he could have overtaken them, he hung back and kept their rhythm.

“Other way,” Kirsch called out.

Jason swung around and started to weave with no apparent difficulty, while the second year was slightly thrown and struggled to pull the nose of her broom around but managed to eventually. The Zeta lost his rhythm completely and went shooting off to the side before spinning around and joining the rest of the pack. Jason had kept an eye on the rest of them over his shoulder and had slowed his pace so that they could catch up.

Kirsch smiled. It was a shame a Chaser position wasn’t open, this kid had good awareness of the people around him and would totally work well in a team.

“Alright, to me.”

The three of them flew over to him and hovered in front of him. The girl was still frowning, determination lining her face, and he got a flash of his little sister. The Zeta bro was smirking and Jason just waited patiently for an order.

Kirsch spun the Quaffle on the tip of his finger. “As a Keeper, you’ve got to be so comfortable with a Quaffle that it’s almost a part of you. Sure you’re defending the goals, but I want you focusing on the Quaffle, not the goals. You should already know exactly where your goals are. Look forward not back.”

He waved them over to him and then said, “I’m gonna get each of you in goals and throw the Quaffle. You save it if you think it’s going to go in, you don’t if its not.” Jason held up his hand and he nodded at him. “Yeah?”

“Shouldn’t we be trying to get possession?”

“You’re right," Kirsch agreed. "But trust your Chasers. When the Quaffle’s in our goals area at least one of the Chasers will be in a position to grab any missed shots.”

Jason nodded and Kirsch gestured him forward. “Get in there, bro.”

Jason pulled in front of the goals and settled himself on his broom, shifting his weight so that he could manoeuvre the broom more with his legs than his arms. He didn’t even glance at the goals behind him.

Kirsch threw the Quaffle and it flew in an arc towards the right hoop, but it went too far to the right to go through the hoop. Jason didn’t even flinch.

“ _Good_ job, bro!” Kirsch praised him and Jason grinned in response. “Now can you get me that Quaffle?”

Jason raised an eyebrow and for a second Kirsch saw Danny and his heart gave a squeeze. When Jason threw the Quaffle back at him, Kirsch waved him into position again.

This time he aimed for the left hoop, high enough that it would seem like it’d pass over, but would inch in. Jason swerved up to catch the Quaffle without hesitation and Kirsch applauded him. When Jason returned the Quaffle to Kirsch, his grin was larger than before. Next to Kirsch the other two were nervously shifting as they waited their turn, but Kirsch wanted to try one last run at this kid.

He turned back and made his way to the centre of the pitch. Once he reached the centre he turned and started to take a run at the goals. Jason’s expression had a tinge of nervousness, but it was mostly hidden by concentration. Kirsch decided to see how this Lawrence would deal with his tactics and he pulled down hard and to the side before twisting on his broom and aiming at the far hoop. Jason misread him and moved in front of the wrong hoop, letting the Quaffle sail through.

Jason’s face dropped, looking completely disappointed in himself, but before he could get too down Kirsch held up a thumbs up.

“Dude, you committed to your instinct, nice work!”

Jason still didn’t look convinced that he hadn’t failed so Kirsch added, quietly so that the other two couldn’t hear, “Hey, don’t stress man. Your sister can’t defend against those shots either.”

A hesitant smile spread over Jason’s face and Kirsch grinned back encouragingly.

Kirsch had met all of Danny’s siblings, mostly in passing because of how embarrassed she got when they’d start talking to Kirsch. At first Kirsch thought she was embarrassed by him, but it became clear very quickly that she was actually scared of what they might reveal (he now knew the name of the soft toy she still owned, and how she’d gotten the scar just above her eyebrow). He’d only seen Jason once, from the other side of the room, and Jason had quickly left because he was really getting into his teenage self and refused to socialize with the rest of his family.

Now on the Quiddith pitch, however, he could feel Jason starting to open up and let some of his personality through. Kirsch wondered if Jason thought he was Danny’s boyfriend like the twins did.

After running the three through some more drills and exercises Kirsch called time on the try-outs, brought everyone back in together and told them he’d let them know who made the team in a few days.

When the rest of them dispersed Kirsch conferred with Aprils about the candidates. Aprils gave him the run down, and suggested he choose the third year girl who had far out-flown all the rest of them. Kirsch had noticed her when she’d lapped the others going around the pitch and he agreed.

“What about Keeper bro? You gonna pick your girlfriend’s brother?”

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” Kirsch replied defensively and Aprils grinned.

“That’s a yes.”

“Shut up.” Kirsch lobbed the Quaffle at him and Aprils ducked it and started to sing a children’s rhyme about Danny and Kirsch and their endless love. Kirsch didn’t recognise it, since it was from Aprils’ wizarding background, but he got the point and peeled off one of his Quidditch gloves to toss at Aprils.

\---

Perry exclaimed as her potion shot off sparks and LaFontaine quickly threw an extra lionfish spine into her cauldron.

“LaFontaine!” If anything, Perry was getting more irritated at them these days when they tried to help, insisting that she needed to do it herself so that she could do well in her N.E.W.T.s.

“I’m sorry!” LaFontaine returned to stirring their Wiggenweld potion. “I just feel like keeping my eyebrows for at least a week.”

Perry huffed in annoyance but didn’t say anything else, stirring her potion rougher than she probably should.

“Perr…” LaFontaine was hesitant, not only because they didn’t want to annoy Perry any further, but also because the eyebrows comment wasn’t a joke. “Are you okay?”

Perry took her stirrer out of the cauldron and slammed it down on the table. “No! No, LaFontaine, I am not ‘okay’.”

“Oh-k _ay_ … What’s up?”

Perry stayed silent for a moment and closed her eyes, her hands balling up into fists as she took several controlled breaths. “My mother is suggesting I take an internship at her Department over the Christmas holidays.”

LaFontaine knew what ‘suggestion’ meant to Perry’s mother. They let out a small breath, hoping that they’d be able to say the right thing. “What’d you say?”

“What am I meant to say? She said she was given the option to take the time off but she’d refused so that she could supervise me and show me the correct way to do things.” Perry’s shoulders sagged. “She thinks that she’s doing me a favour.”

LaFontaine shifted closer to Perry and, when she didn’t react badly, they put their hand on her shoulder. She leaned into their touch and they took that as a sign to slide their hand around her and pull her against them.

“It’ll be okay, Perr.” They glanced around the room quickly to check if anyone else was paying attention to them, but everyone else seemed to be busy with their own work. They leaned their forehead against the side of her head. “You’ll figure it out. And I’m going to be right here for you, okay?”

“It just feels like...” Perry let out a shaky breath and LaFontaine’s grip on her tightened. “Like I won’t get to have my own future.”

LaFontaine’s heart ached for her because even if their parents were never home and they put dragons first, at least they always told LaF that they could do whatever they wanted. In fact, they insisted on it.

They wanted to tell Perry that it would be alright, that it would all work out, but for a split second the scariest thought occurred to them – _what if it didn’t?_

\---

_Jason’s really awesome, he’s totally on the team (Don’t say anything though because I haven’t announced it yet)._

_There was this pretty cool second year chick who tried out as well, she’s got some serious talent but I figured she can probably go for a chaser position next year after Aprils and I leave. She’s a decent flier and she tries really hard. I’ll mention her to the captain next year. Who do you think the captain will be? Can you imagine if it was Long? Maybe it’ll be Eriksen, but she’ll be in sixth year so it depends if Professor Longbottom wants to get a younger kid in or not._

_Herbology’s being a total pain in my ass, but Professor Longbottom said he’d lend me some books and stuff that might help. I don’t know why I even chose it. I’m so bad at remembering the names for like plant parts and stuff._

_Did you know Laura’s taking History of Magic? She says there’s another girl in her class but I don’t believe her, I mean I thought they didn’t even have N.E.W.T.s level cos no one ever did it. But she seems to like it._

_The Summer Society girls have started again, I always see them when I go onto the pitch in the mornings to practice. So, yeah, they haven’t like broken up or anything._

_Oh, also, I’m putting in a copy of the Hogwarts Monthly because Laura’s better at talking about the normal school stuff if you want to read about it._

_I hope training’s going well. Are you coming to the Slytherin match?_

_Kirsch_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	5. The Ministry Meeting

It took Laura a week to draw the other girl from her History of Magic’s class into a conversation. She figured out that regardless of where she sat the girl would always sit as far from her as possible in the classroom, so she came in late (a tactic that she didn't tell Perry) and took a seat next to the already present Slytherin girl.

Professor Binns was talking about the Dementors treaty when he made an accidental pun and Laura heard the other girl laugh quietly. She swooped on the laugh immediately and leaned over to whisper, “Do you think he knows how funny he is and just pretends not to?”

The girl froze, quill coming to a stop so firmly that a splotch of ink stained the parchment, blossoming there and swallowing half the word she’d written. Laura felt bad for startling her but she pushed on with, “I’m Laura.”

“Bea,” the girl whispered so quietly that it was barely audible over Professor Binns’ voice.

“Nice to meet you!” Laura smiled brightly at her even though she was still staring down at the ink stain. “Why did you pick this class?”

Bea looked at her out of the corner of her eyes. “I didn’t think anyone else would.”

“Did Professor Slughorn give you the same weird reaction when you said you wanted to take it? Professor Armitage had this whole-”

“Miss Horace, please pay attention,” Professor Binns interrupted Laura before she could say any more.

“Sorry professor,” she apologized to him. Then she said quietly to Bea, “You’d think with only two of us he’d be able to remember our names.”

Bea laughed softly in the back of her throat and Laura returned her attention back to the professor, standing up straighter because she was totally going to make this girl her friend.

When the class finished and they both packed up their belongings Bea hesitated before leaving, offering Laura a small smile and bye, which Laura returned with great enthusiasm. Carmilla was waiting in the hallway as per usual and she raised an eyebrow at Laura.

“How’s ‘Operation New Friend’?”

Okay, so Laura had totally given it a code name because code names were fun and she was super determined to make this girl her friend.

“Her name’s Bea.”

Carmilla’s nose crinkled. “Nice name.”

“Be nice,” Laura scolded her.

Carmilla sighed exaggeratedly. “Fine.”

They got to the intersection of the hallways and Laura pecked Carmilla on the lips. “Say hi to Perry for me.”

Carmilla hummed in response and pulled Laura back in for a longer kiss. Laura giggled against her mouth and gave her another kiss before they went their separate ways.

\---

“Do you think Carmilla and Laura are coming to lunch?” LaFontaine asked Perry as they eyed the food that they’d left for the two. There was only ten minutes left of lunch and LaFontaine looked around quickly before grabbing some of the potato mash off one of the plates.

Having lunch with just the two of them was starting to turn into a habit, with Carmilla and Laura spending most of their time elsewhere and Kirsch helping the Zetas with the new recruits and reaching out to any more first years who wanted to participate. (And maybe telling some of the girls about the Summer Society and directing them towards the nearest Summer Soc member.)

“I hope they’re eating enough.” Perry’s forehead was crinkled with concern as she eyed the empty seats.

“I think they’re eating plenty,” LaFontaine deadpanned, but the suggestiveness was plain in their words.

“LaFontaine!”

LaFontaine grinned through a mouthful of potato. “What?”

Perry ignored LaFontaine’s faux innocence and refocused on the untouched food. “Do you think we should pack some of the food for them?”

“They’ll be fine, Mama Perr.” LaFontaine rubbed Perry’s back with their left hand while their right took another forkful of mash.

\---

Carmilla knew that maybe she shouldn’t have waited so long to tell Laura, but she had also guessed what Laura’s reaction would be when she did.

She was right.

“Why didn’t you tell them?”

They were tucked away in one of the empty corners of the library. Even though they were alone Carmilla had told Laura in a half measure, not daring to say the word 'Resurrection Stone' or 'step mother', letting Laura fill in the blanks.

“We talked about this that night.”

After her step mother had fled they had discussed it on the way to the hospital wing, pressed against each other as if they couldn’t bear to be separated for another second.

“I’m not going to tell anyone about the Resurrection Stone,” Carmilla said assertively. Then she had taken in a quick breath and asked, “Should I?”

Laura shook her head. “No, you’re right. You don’t know what people could use it for.”

Carmilla nodded. “Right, yeah,” she said as if it had been Laura’s idea.

But right now in the library Laura wasn’t quite as understanding. “But this is different. This isn’t giving it to other people, or telling them you have it, this is helping the aurors understand what she’s after.”

Carmilla stayed silent and Laura felt her close off in the way that she shifted ever so slightly away from her. Laura examined Carmilla’s face closely, desperate to try and understand before she could pull away completely.

“You still don’t trust them.”

“How am I meant to know that she doesn’t still have people in there?”

“You don’t,” Laura admitted. She paused for a long moment and then something occurred to her and she said, “But we have someone in there too.”

“What, Elsie?”

“She could be like a double agent! I mean, not really because we aren’t against the aurors, but like to check if they’re on the down low or not.”

“Cupcake, I can’t ask her to do that…”

“We need to be able to trust the aurors, Carm. They’re meant to keep us safe.” Laura had her rallying the troops expression on and Carmilla knew better than to argue with her.

“I’ll talk to her,” she caved to Laura because, well, what else was she meant to do?

Laura beamed at her as if things were fixed and Carmilla mirrored her smile, although with far less surety than Laura’s.

\---

The meeting room was full of people sitting around the mahogany table and at the head the Minister of Magic propped his chin up with his hand, running a finger along his jaw as he considered the implications of the auror’s findings.

“Sir,” Margaret Gensor broke the silence. She was one of the higher up Unspeakables, how high she was even the Minister wasn’t sure, but she was the most senior public figure from the Department of Mysteries. She was young, probably only in her mid- to late-20s, but her eyes were hard and dark. She had the kind of face that you’d forget the moment you looked away, neither ugly nor very pretty, and she spoke quietly, never raising her voice, and often others had to lean in to hear her.

“If I may,” she continued. The Minister found himself shifting closer to her. “After Eames and this business with Ms Dean, I don’t believe we have another option. The world is changing, Minister. We must change with it.”

“Of course _you_ would say that,” the head of the Magical Accidents and Catastrophe department – Joseph Stanton – bristled.

She fixed him with an even gaze. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well…” He reddened, his gray moustache twitching. “Your type aren’t much for tradition are they?”

“By that do you mean mudbloods?” she asked unflinchingly.

He sputtered and looked around the room panickedly. “I didn’t- I don’t think- I didn’t say that.”

“Regardless,” Gensor turned her attention back to the Minister. “We need to take a hold of the situation. We have the means.”

“What means?” the Minister spoke for the first time.

Gensor nodded to her assistant by the entrance and he nodded, leaving the room.

“You are aware of the Venator, Minister.”

He nodded, everyone in the room was. It was one of the Department of Mysteries’ worst kept secrets thanks to the rumour-mill-driven Department of International Magical Cooperation. Gensor was not a fan of that department in the least but the Minister had refused to force them into Unbreakable Vows so that silence could be enforced. This was the result.

Her assistant re-entered the room carrying a small device that fit into the palm of his hand and he handed it to Gensor silently. She held it up to her mouth and said, “Joseph Stanton.”

“Joseph Stanton is currently in the Level 10 meeting room in the Ministry of Magic,” the device chirped back.

A flush crept up from Mr Stanton’s collar, spreading up his neck as he stared at the device she held. “How did you-?”

“This device can access the Venator from anywhere around the world. It’s quite simple really, you say the name of the witch or wizard, the Venator performs a search, and returns with a result. We already have a collection of international diplomats details stored - including Mr Stanton’s - and so we can locate them whenever we need. I propose that we start collating a database on all active wizards and witches.”

The room burst into titters as everyone started to discuss what this could mean.

“Minister I must protest,” Stanton stated over the explosive sound of the room.

The Minister held up his hand and the room fell silent.

Gensor put the device on the table and pushed it over to the Minister, saying quietly, “Don’t let those Ministry employees’ deaths mean nothing. We must show strength in a time of building darkness, sir.”

The Minister stared at the device. It looked simple, boring even; on the outside it simply appeared to be a flat circular stone with rounded corners. The Ministry logo was engraved on the front, white against the smooth black exterior.

He picked up the device and let it settle into the centre of his palm, examining it. It fit perfectly into his hand, small enough that his fingers could curl around the edges to grip it securely, but not so small that his fingers met.

He thought about the two who had died. He had increased security in the Ministry after news of Ms Dean’s betrayal had reached him, but she had killed two security officers with no pause. The Minister had informed their families himself and he would bear the image of that for the rest of his life. In total, those deaths had left behind five children, a widow and a widower. He could still feel the tears of the widower soak through his clothes, still see the widow thank him emotionlessly for taking the time out of his schedule to inform her.

“Gensor.” He met her dull brown eyes and wondered if this would be the moment that would define his time as minister. He made sure his voice was steady and clear when he said, “Start your database.”

Her face twitched with what could have been a smile if her eyes didn’t remain so flat. “Yes, sir.”

The room burst into noise, people standing from chairs and yelling towards the front of the room. The Minister ignored them, put the stone back onto the table and left.

\---

_Sorry I haven’t been able to write. Things are getting really intense._

_I hope everything’s okay._

_I’ll try to make it to the match._

_Danny_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	6. The Auror In Training

Danny arrived at the atrium of the Ministry of Magic and was immediately accosted by the group of protestors that had set themselves up there. It had been a week since the Ministry announced the plan to officially register people’s wands and this group had set up shortly afterwards and hadn’t moved since. At first it had just been a few of them, but now the crowd was so thick that it was getting difficult to push through to the elevators.

Some of them treated it like a holiday, sitting on their expandable cushioned chairs, drinking hot beverages and offering snacks to those who passed by (excepting Ministry employees, of course), while others looked like they hadn’t taken a break to wash themselves since they’d turned up and made sure to shout in the face of every Ministry employee that went past.

Being one of the aurors-in-training Danny was part of the team assigned to watching over the protestors, helping out the security office that was stretched thin. It wasn’t the most thrilling, and it certainly wasn’t what she had been expecting, but it had to be done and she was happy to start somewhere.

Even if it was babysitting a bunch of people who hated her.

Danny edged her way past a wizard trying to make sure that her eye didn’t get taken out by the sign he was wielding that said ‘WE ARE NOT CRIMINALS’ that then flashed to ‘NO WAND REGISTRY’.

She got to the elevator and pressed the button for the second level, exhaling in relief and letting her eyes close.

“Hold the elevator!”

She opened her eyes to see Elsie running for the elevator, slipping through the line of security officers that stood at the double doors. Danny quickly pressed the ‘door open’ button so that Elsie could make it.

“Thanks.” Elsie shot her a smile as she stepped into the elevator. “I didn’t want to have to wait in the atrium. I think one of them have got their hands on some Weasley fireworks.”

“That’ll be interesting,” Danny said, mostly to herself.

“You’re on babysitting duty aren’t you?” Elsie asked with an amused expression.

“Yeah,” Danny sighed.

“How are you liking being an auror so far?”

“Well I’m not a ‘real’ auror yet.”

Elsie’s nose crinkled at that familiar speech. “Don’t let Pullen get you down. You’re babysitting civvies - you’re an auror.”

This was the first actual conversation that Danny had shared with Elsie and Danny could suddenly understand how she’d gotten through Carmilla’s rough exterior. The elevator arrived at the second level and Danny went to leave but hesitated when Elsie didn’t follow.

Elsie waved her on. “You go ahead, I’m headed to another level.”

“Oh, okay.” Danny left and just before the doors closed she turned back to Elsie and said, “Thank you.”

The doors closed on Elsie’s smile and Danny stood there for an extra moment before turning back towards the office and heading in.

She was putting her things away in the break room when Jill leaned against the wall next to the lockers eating an apple.

“MacArthur,” Danny greeted without looking at her as she took the auror uniform out of her bag. The uniform wasn't compulsory when they were out in the field, it was only worn when they needed to be recognised as figures of authority. However, given that she was still technically in training and assigned to the atrium, she needed to wear it.

The uniform included black leather gloves, black pants, and a thick dark jacket that fastened across the chest with metal buckles that went from the collarbone down to the waist. The jacket collar stood upright stiffly, meeting the base of her hairline at the back and following the line of her jaw as it went around to the front. The right side of the chest had a silver metal badge with the MLE logo on it in navy blue writing. The jacket went down to knee height, hiding the belt that had a sheath for their wands and four potions vials. Underneath the jacket they were allowed to wear whatever they wanted as long as it let them move freely and was 'professional'. Danny preferred to wear a simple black singlet, given that she spent her time indoors and the jacket could get hot.

She pulled on the leather gloves and wriggled her fingers. They were the bane of her existence because even though they were perfectly fitted and were practically a second skin, they could still get suffocatingly hot. Luckily, one of her fellow aurors-in-training had come up with a cooling charm that could keep them from overheating. She could only imagine the rant that their instructor Auror Wells would go on if she found out they were using charms to make the uniform more comfortable.

Jill took another loud bite from her apple. “Who do you love?”

Danny shut the door to her locker firmly and tucked her wand into the sheath on her belt. She started doing up all the buckles of her jacket (something that the older aurors rarely did, but she preferred to keep things secure) and patted her wand and the four potion vials through the coat.

“People who don’t talk to me cryptically?” she guessed as she started making her way to the meeting room for the morning auror meeting.

Jill trailed her, continuing to take ridiculously loud bites out of her apple. “Guess again, Lawrence.”

Danny sighed. “Is it you?”

Jill put a hand to her chest and gasped in faux surprise. “Oh, you are so sweet!”

“Am I just boosting your ego, or was there a point to that?” Danny glanced back at her pointedly as she rounded the corner.

Jill gave her a proud smile through a mouthful of apple. “I got you off atrium duty.”

“Are you serious?” Danny asked, her face bursting into a wide grin. Yeah, she didn’t mind paying her dues by babysitting, but she would jump at the chance to do something else. “Wait, what am I doing instead?”

Jill shook her head. “Always so suspicious.”

“Jill,” Danny said warningly.

“You’re on raids with me. We’re looking for your old headmistress.”

Danny felt a flash of something though she couldn’t tell exactly what it was. Panic, confusion, surprise? Fear?

It must have shown up on her face because Jill stepped in closer, her face twisted with concern. “Are you okay? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, I…” She didn’t know why she felt like this. She wasn’t the one who had almost been killed by her; in fact she hadn’t had any confrontation with her at all. But the thought of her still made Danny feel uneasy as she remembered what it was like to be held under her gaze.

(She should send Carmilla something. Maybe one of the departments had some rare books she could borrow or something.)

Jill still looked concerned so Danny forced her face into a smile and said, “Thank you. You’re awesome.”

Jill didn’t look quite convinced but she mirrored Danny’s smile back. “Yeah, I am aren’t I?”

Danny rolled her eyes and entered the meeting room, Jill following her in.

\---

It was the first lunch that the whole group had been together in a while. Laura and Carmilla had decided to actually turn up for food instead of go to the library to make out; the Zetas had gotten mostly under control and Kirsch felt comfortable leaving them to their own devices; and Perry’s Thestral Hades was settling into being back at Hogwarts.

“What do you guys think about the Wand Registry?” Laura asked casually.

Perry’s gaze snapped over to Laura, her eyes wide with panic. She quickly shook her head and Laura frowned in confusion, at least until she looked over to the furious looking LaFontaine.

“It is absolutely ridiculous that they expect everyone to register their wands. You know why they’re doing it right?” LaFontaine was practically shaking with rage.

“The Venator?" Laura frowned. "Do you think they’d do that? I thought they were just registering them so they could track the magic signature when crimes were committed.”

“That’s what they want people to think,” LaFontaine shot back emphatically.

“Bro, you really think that’s what they’re doing?” Kirsch asked with big eyes.

“Of course it is – it’s every government’s automatic response. Punish the many for the act of a few.”

“I didn’t know you were such a revolutionary,” Carmilla said dryly as she stole one of Laura’s roast potatoes. Laura scooped the rest of her potatoes onto Carmilla’s plate, causing Carmilla to flash her a grin out of the corner of her mouth.

LaFontaine rounded on Carmilla, asking her, “Do _you_ think it’s okay that we police our citizens?”

Carmila shrugged. “I might be a fan of 1984, but doesn’t mean I want to live it.”

“What happened in 1984?” LaFontaine’s anger was detoured for a moment by confusion. “Did something happen in the non-magical world?”

“Nevermind,” Carmilla dismissed them. She turned her attention to Perry. “What do you think about all this?”

Perry looked flustered by the sudden attention and she looked between Carmilla and LaFontaine. “Well, I…”

“Perry agrees that it’s ridiculous. Don’t you Perr?” LaFontaine answered for her.

Perry swallowed hard and stared down at her plate. “I don’t know, I think that it might be a good idea.” She looked up and quickly added, “ _If_ it was done correctly.”

LaFontaine looked betrayed by Perry’s answer, as if it had never occurred to them that she might disagree. “But there is no ‘correct’ way to do it. No one should have that power, especially not a governing body. Any time that we’ve had a Ministry with power like that it’s worked out badly for us.”

“LaFontaine…”

“Lord Voldemort.”

“You can’t just name Lord Voldemort as an argument,” Perry said exasperatedly.

“Why not? It happened.”

“This isn’t about blood status, this is about having the information to stop criminals before they go around killing people like last year-”

Everyone fell silent as they thought of who had been killed and their attention fell to Kirsch. Perry’s mouth dropped open, looking horrified as she started to apologise quickly, “I’m sorry Kirsch, I didn’t mean to bring up…”

Kirsch’s face was uncharacteristically blank as he thought about SJ, the person who had been killed last year, one of his closest friends and the girl he’d had feelings for. He didn’t think about her as much these days, his grief had melted away to a gentler sorrow, and he felt a pang of guilt at that. As if he didn’t deserve to move on, to not be as torn up about it.

It still felt like his fault. He hadn’t told anyone that, it was a dirty secret that would sneak up on him at the times when he was feeling particularly sorry for himself. In the quiet of the night, or sometimes at dinner when his friends would be having fun and he’d feel something off. He’d sit back and watch all of his friends joking around, smiling, happy, and he’d keep a smile on his face when they’d look at him, but in his mind he’d think about how SJ was dead because of him, about how he’d almost lost Carmilla because of the faulty Time-Turner, about how he hadn’t stopped Eames the first chance he’d gotten. He wondered if he deserved to be here, if he’d ever be as happy as they were, if he’d ever stop feeling like this.

He hated feeling sorry for himself, it was selfish and he knew it wouldn’t fix anything, but sometimes he craved it. Sometimes, it was a million times easier than trying to convince himself that it wasn’t his fault, and sometimes it even made him feel better.

He stared hard at the centre of the table. “It’s cool.” He scolded himself internally and forced his eyes up to the rest of the group, painting his face into a smile. “It’s alright,” he promised them. It looked like Perry was going to say something else so he added, “Honestly.”

“Hey we both have a free after lunch, right? Why don’t we hit the pitch?” LaFontaine suggested, all their previous fury had dissolved in the face of Kirsch’s pain.

Kirsch’s smile quirked up one more degree. “That’d be awesome, bro.”

The bell rang for class and the rest of them headed off to class, Perry trailing behind them so that she could talk to Kirsch. “Kirsch, I just wanted to apologise, I really didn’t mean-”

He bent down to hug her tightly because he didn’t know what else to do and he really needed her to stop talking right now. He loved her dearly, but he needed her to stop.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said as he squeezed her. He pulled away and gave her another attempt at a smile, crinkling his eyes in what he hoped was a warm expression. “I’m fine, seriously.”

And it almost felt like it was true.

\---

_I guess you probably aren’t allowed to talk about the whole Wand Registry thing hey? When you said you were busy I had no idea it was going to be something like this… Heads up, LaFontaine hates it. When you visit they’re probably going to start going on about the government and stuff, once you get them started it’s kinda hard to stop._

_Anyway, nothing much’s changed on this end. Peeves played a prank on some of the first years and one of them threatened to sue the school because his dad’s a lawyer. Which, I guess you don’t know what that means, but the little bro’s way too tightly wound so the Zetas are all taking bets on when he’s going to be dropping out._

_We’re going to start Quidditch practice soon, so I’ll keep you posted on that. I’m getting nervous about Wood coming to watch the game again, I can’t screw it up this time, you know? Otherwise, even if I do try out for them after I finish school he’s not going to take me seriously._

_~~Dude~~ ~~Danny~~ Lawrence, I don’t know how you got through all your homework last year while you were helping us out with Eames, I’m buried. It feels like I’m not even going to make it to Christmas at this rate. But, I don’t know, it’ll be kinda awesome to get to finish up the year, even if I just get like one Acceptable I’ll be happy._

_I hope things are going good for you._

_Kirsch_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	7. The Portmanteau

Laura was tucked into Carmilla's side as they sat in front of the fireplace in the Shrieking Shack, watching the flames and letting her mind flicker from thought to thought. Carmilla had tried to start conversation several times but Laura only answered in half sentences or non-committal noises, so Carmilla let Laura alone to whatever was occupying her mind until she was ready to talk.

“Do you think Perry and LaFontaine will be okay?” Laura finally asked.

“Why wouldn't they be?” Carmilla asked in return, her mouth pressed against Laura's hair. She breathed in – strawberry shampoo, hot chocolate, and honeysuckle – and breathed back out slowly.

“Lunch. And at dinner they didn't seem very... LaFerry.”

“What the frilly hell is LaFerry?” Carmilla asked, bemusement colouring her voice.

“LaFontaine and Perry.” Laura shifted away enough so that she could make eye contact with Carmilla as she explained, “It's a portmanteau.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow but her expression was warm as she replied, “Of course it is.”

“Shut up, you give everyone nicknames,” Laura pointed out defensively. But Carmilla really didn’t seem to be anything more than amused so she shook it off and continued, “Anyway, I'm worried about them.”

“What, because they don't agree on a major political point?”

“I'm serious.” Laura went back to staring at the fire, moving in close to Carmilla again. Carmilla adjusted herself slightly to let Laura settle into her shoulder comfortably.

Carmilla let out a short breath. She wouldn't tell anyone – not even Laura – but she felt the same way. Seeing the two redheads treat each other in such a chilly way was off-putting. “They'll figure it out. Its just politics, it can't be that important.” They sat in silence and then Carmilla said, “You didn't say what you thought about it.”

Laura didn't speak for a long beat.

“I don't know, I mean they both have points. If we had this in place before they would have already found your-” Laura stopped speaking, unsure as to what Carmilla's reaction to mentioning her step mother would be.

Carmilla noticed the unease and picked the conversation up smoothly. “You're right. She'd be in Azkaban instead of out there somewhere.”

“But then there's privacy, I mean who knows what they could do with that information.”

“Also true.”

“You are not at all helpful.”

Carmilla laughed softly. “Apologies, cupcake.”

Laura wriggled in closer to Carmilla and sighed. “Is it weird that I feel like something bad's going to happen?”

“Because of the Registry or in general?” Carmilla asked carefully.

“I don't know. Either. Both.” Something occurred to Laura and she knew that she shouldn't say it, but she had to ask. “What do we do if your step mother comes here for the stone?”

Carmilla stiffened and Laura regretted asking immediately, but she still waited for the response.

“The Amazon still has her BFF bracelet,” Carmilla replied quietly, referring to the bracelets Perry had made last year that would alert the other wearers if someone tapped their wand to it in times of trouble. “If my step mother comes here, I use the bracelet to tell her and she rallies the troops.”

Laura was genuinely surprised. “You have a contingency plan?” And it didn't just involve turning into a panther and mauling the ex-Headmistress, which was the more surprising part.

“I wouldn't risk your life.”

Laura turned to Carmilla, her eyebrows furrowed together and her expression caught somewhere between surprise and adoration. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it and instead leaned up and kissed her gently. Carmilla closed her eyes into the kiss, savouring the slow burn and the feeling that Laura was pouring into it, into her. Laura's hand came up to push through her hair, combing through it and running down the side of her face.

Even though the kiss was already saying it, over and over again, Laura mumbled against Carmilla's lips, “I love you.”

Carmilla's heart did the skip that it always did and she kissed Laura harder, just for a moment, before slipping back into their steady rhythm.

“I love you too,” she whispered into her ear as she started to kiss Laura’s neck, finding the spot that always caused Laura to make the most delicious noises.

“That’s not fair. You’re cheating,” Laura huffed in a breathy voice.

“According to you.”

Laura let loose another shuddering breath before placing her hands on Carmilla’s shoulders and pushing her back into the cushion that she’d propped against the side of the couch. Carmilla’s back hit the cushion and she let out a small breath as she looked up at Laura, who was staring at her with a fiery look. (God, she loved that look.)

Laura threw a leg over Carmilla’s and straddled her lap, her eyes not moving from Carmilla’s as she did. Carmilla’s hands hovered over Laura’s thighs, not touching them, until Laura guided her hands there (the time that Carmilla had touched Laura without her permission had left Carmilla, well, _trained_ for lack of a better term).

“You’re going to pay for that.”

“Why do you think I did it?” Carmilla replied and this time she was the one who was breathless, but she didn’t even care. Laura shot her a look and rolled her hips forward, making Carmilla swallow hard as her eyes glazed over.

\---

Perry was not the type to sacrifice her grades for any reason. Even a terrorist and an ill-meaning Headmistress hadn’t made much of an impact on her grades (if only the same could be said of her sleep schedule).

But here she was, purposefully adding too much powdered bicorn horn to her Polyjuice potion and watching it bubble far more than it was meant to in the hope that LaFontaine would look over and help her fix it. Instead, LaFontaine was focused on their own potion, not even glancing in Perry’s direction.

“Sweetie?” Perry asked in a small voice because the bubbling was getting more intense and she suddenly realised that she didn’t know how to actually fix it. “Do you think you can help me?”

“I thought you wanted to learn how to do things on your own,” LaFontaine replied without looking over. It wasn’t that they spoke harshly, their tone was perfectly even, but the missing warmth felt like a slap in the face.

Perry bit the inside of her cheek and willed herself to not run from the confrontation like her body was telling her to. She was always so terrible when she thought people were mad at her, she closed up immediately and found herself unable to say or even think anything.

This was the first time that LaFontaine had been really, actually mad at her, and it was worse than Perry could have imagined.

Her potion was bubbling violently in front of her and her chest was tightening and she was blinking hard and staring at LaFontaine who was examining their textbook closely.

“LaFontaine,” Perry swallowed and tried her hardest to raise voice above a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

LaFontaine looked at her for the first time and their expression was surprised, as if they weren’t after an apology. (Perry wondered if they even knew what they wanted, and if that was why Perry didn’t know what to say, because that idea was far more romantic than the truth, the truth of fear that choked her into silence.)

“Perr…” LaFontaine looked guilty now and that felt more like familiar ground between them, and that made Perry both feel relieved and then a far, far stronger feeling of guilt. She didn’t want LaFontaine to feel bad; Perry didn’t want any of this.

Perry’s potion gave a particularly violent spit and LaFontaine drizzled some extra Boomslang skin in, stirring it counter-clockwise as they did. The potion settled, becoming the thick, bright blue that it was meant to. LaFontaine watched it for a moment longer, even though they both knew that it had been fixed.

“I don’t want you to apologise for something you believe in.”

Neither of them mentioned what they had disagreed on for fear of starting another argument, they both wanted to steer so far clear of it that silence seemed the better option. LaFontaine’s hand moved to Perry’s and they grasped it, running a thumb down the side of her hand. Perry flipped her hand over to tangle their fingers together and gave it a squeeze, hoping that it would be enough.

\---

Laura watched a group of younger students walk past as she waited for Carmilla and spotted one of them wearing a ‘NO WAND REGISTRY’ badge. The Wand Registry was a hot topic at school, with the student body getting into regular arguments about it. Laura was writing a piece on the Registry in her paper and the thing she’d noticed most - apart from the stubbornness of people’s views - was that they were usually inherited from their parents. She’d quickly learned to not point that out. Most of them tried to drag her into the argument and when she said she could see both sides they weren’t very happy.

Carmilla and LaFontaine exited the Transfiguration classroom, LaFontaine looking frustrated about something, gesturing wildly and talking emphatically. Carmilla didn’t seem very invested in the conversation, eyes searching for Laura and brightening when she saw her.

“I know, I know, Che,” Carmilla waved off LaFontaine. LaF spotted Laura and deflated, all the previous fight seeping out of them. In fact, they almost seemed disappointed and Laura felt that old familiar suspicion that no one actually liked her seep back in, but she did her best to push it aside.

“I’ll see you guys later,” LaFontaine said, refusing to look at Laura. The sinking feeling in Laura’s stomach got worse and no matter how hard she swallowed she couldn’t get rid of the lump in her throat.

“Are they-? Is everything-?” Even when talking to Carmilla Laura’s voice was getting caught, unsure of how to ask if LaFontaine had finally gotten sick of her.

“It’s not about you,” Carmilla immediately reassured her. “They’re freaking about Perry. Apparently things are awkward or whatever.” Carmilla shrugged an eye roll and then smiled at Laura warmly. “Hi.”

Carmilla leaned in for a kiss and Laura dodged her. “It’s awkward with Perry?”

Carmilla let a breath loose in frustration, although she had guessed that that would happen. “Yeah, the Registry. They don’t know what to say and Perry feels bad so they feel bad and blah blah blah.”

“We need to fix it.”

“Cupcake, you can’t fix what people believe in.”

“No I know, I don’t mean like that, I mean they both love each other more than they care about the Registry don’t they?”

“You haven’t heard Che Guevara,” Carmilla muttered to herself. Off Laura’s look she nodded. “Yeah, they do.”

“So they both just need to remember that.”

“Please tell me we’re not going to set up a date for them,” Carmilla groaned. “You need to take a look at your personal boundaries, creampuff.”

“They’re our friends Carm, we should help them.”

“My life would be so much easier if you were apathetic.”

“Where would the fun be in that?”

Carmilla regarded Laura for a moment before shrugging in concession. “Fine. But you owe me.”

“If you help me with this I’ll do whatever you want.” Laura kissed Carmilla right below the ear and a shiver passed down Carmilla’s spine.

“Right,” Carmilla breathed out, her eyes fluttering closed. Laura bit back a smile, careful to pack away the amused look on her face before Carmilla became aware of it.

Once Carmilla had gotten control of her breathing again she sighed and asked, “Can’t we just lock them in a room or something? It works for stupid romcoms, should work here.”

“Do you think you can cast a charm that Perry can’t break?” Laura pointed out.

“If I could would that be an option?”

Laura considered it for a moment before shaking her head. “No.”

Carmilla couldn’t help but laugh at Laura’s cheeky expression, shaking her head and draping her arm across Laura’s shoulders as they walked down the hallway.

\---

_I’m sorry, I know my letters have been really short. I couldn’t say anything until it had been announced to the public and right now (you guessed it) still can’t say anything._

_Just, stay safe, okay? And keep everyone else safe._

_I might be coming around to Hogwarts soon, although I can’t tell you why. But I’ll try and drop in to lunch or something._

_Danny_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	8. The Baked Goods

Carmilla dragged LaFontaine from the Ravenclaw common room down to the Whomping Willow late on a Friday night with no explanation. After casting an immobulus spell and ushering them into the secret passageway, LaFontaine gave up on waiting for Carmilla to explain and instead sought an explanation out.

“Why are we going to the Shrieking Shack? Are we having a Scooby meeting?”

“You don’t even know what that means,” Carmilla replied without looking at LaFontaine as they walked through the secret passageway, lit wands held in front of them.

“Do so, I looked it up,” LaFontaine declared proudly. “It’s a television show about a gang that solves mysteries with a giant dog and a colourful van.”

“You looked it up,” Carmilla echoed disbelievingly.

“Yeah, I read Perr’s Guide to Non Magical Pop Culture textbook over the summer.” LaFontaine made a ‘hang ten’ sign with their hand. “The Beach Boys are rad.”

Carmilla facepalmed as she shook her head. “Please stop.”

“What is that not a thing anymore?”

Carmilla stayed silent, eyes rolling to the side and muttering something under her breath. Before LaFontaine could ask another question they were at the Shack and Carmilla gave a sharp knock on the door.

“Coming, coming!” Laura’s voice came from the other side of the door and LaFontaine wanted to ask why they didn’t just go in, but Carmilla didn’t particularly look in the mood to answer questions. Not that she ever did, but LaF figured that they’d exhausted her tiny supply of patience for today.

Laura opened the door looking flustered and smiled widely at both of them. “Hi LaFontaine!”

“Laura,” LaF nodded a greeting at her.

“Okay, we’re ready, so I’ll just…” Laura squeezed past LaF to leave the shack and LaFontaine stared at her as she did, having no idea what was going on. Laura looked over at Carmilla. “Did you not tell her?”

Carmilla shrugged, bored expression firmly in place. “You said it was going to be a surprise or whatever.”

Laura beamed. “I told Perry you’d keep it a secret.”

“Okay, what is going on?” LaFontaine asked both of them, not liking being kept in the dark.

“Just go inside and you’ll see!” Laura promised, grabbing Carmilla’s hand and dragging her back towards the school.

LaFontaine watched them go and blinked a few times before shrugging and putting their wand away. They turned to go into the Shack, which weirdly enough smelled like baking. They walked deeper into the Shack, heading towards the main sitting area and when they saw what was waiting in there for them they stopped mid-step.

Perry was sitting on the couch, back ramrod straight and a plate of brownies in her lap. There were several more plates of freshly baked goods around the room, including on both side tables and on the coffee table in front of Perry. LaFontaine knew that Perry baked when she was worried but this was on another level. The fireplace was lit and there were several candles hovering, causing the room to be bathed in a warm glow.

“Hi,” Perry said in a small voice.

LaFontaine let out a breath. “Hey.”

Perry stood from the couch, holding the plate of brownies in front of her as she took a few stiff steps towards LaFontaine in the doorway. She thrust the plate in LaFontaine’s direction. “I know that we already ate dinner, but you always say that you have a-”

“Dessert stomach,” LaFontaine finished as they took one of the brownies off the pile and took a bite out of it. They couldn’t help but close their eyes and moan softly at the taste. Merlin, they loved Perry’s brownies.

“I’m sorry.” The apology rushed out of Perry’s mouth quickly, turning two words into one. “Things have been really weird between us because of the- because of things.”

“Because of the Wand Registry,” LaFontaine stated. If Perry was going to be doing this, if they were going to be addressing things, then they would do it properly.

Perry winced but repeated LaFontaine’s words as she maintained eye contact, “Because of the Wand Registry.” Perry took a quick breath in before continuing, “But I love you. So much. And I honestly, I don’t care, LaFontaine. I just want us to be okay again.”

LaFontaine wasn’t sure what to say. They loved Perry too, very deeply, they didn’t know what they’d do without her, but they still had this nagging feeling that this couldn’t just be loved away. That if they forgot it now, it would come up, a few months, a few years, somewhere down the line. But right now, forgetting it would just be so much easier. Maybe it would be alright. Maybe they could work through it. They were Perry and LaFontaine, after all.

LaFontaine stared down at the brownie in their hands and when they looked back up Perry's eyes were pleading silently. LaFontaine gave her a smile and slipped themselves into optimism, they were Perry and LaFontaine, they  _would_  be okay _._

“We’re okay,” LaFontaine said and they pulled their lips up into a bright, reassuring smile. “We’re okay.”

Perry almost collapsed with relief, finally closing the space between them and throwing her arms around their shoulders, careful not the spill the brownie plate as she did. She sobbed against them, just once, and then buried her face into their neck and breathed deep as she relaxed into them.

LaFontaine held her close, taking in the smell of her shampoo and perfume and just  _her_. They closed their eyes and felt like they were returning home after an impossibly long time away.

When they separated LaFontaine looked around the room and said, “I know I’ve got a dessert stomach, Perr, but I think this might be a bit much for me.”

Perry laughed, and then covered her mouth, as if she wasn’t used to being able to laugh yet. “I told Laura and Carmilla that I’d repay them in leftovers.”

“I was wondering why Carmilla was being so helpful,” LaFontaine said to themselves and then to Perry, “Well this is amazing, thank you Perr.”

Perry smiled hesitantly, unsure of how to react to the compliment, but enjoying it nevertheless.

\---

“Do you think they’re fixing things?” Laura asked, worry plain on her face. She was doing her prefect patrol around the castle and Carmilla had joined her because – in her words – she had nothing better to do.

“How much did Pippi Longstocking bake?”

Laura tried to do a mental count but gave up and just replied, “A lot.”

Carmilla smiled, wry yet gentle. “They’ll be fine.”

Laura froze in place, listening hard, and Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her. “You alright, cupcake?’

Laura held up a hand and then leaned over to Carmilla to whisper, “Do you hear that?”

“Hear wh-?”

Laura held her hand up higher and Carmilla strained her ears to try and hear what she was talking about. Then she heard it, quiet giggling and shushing. Laura pointed emphatically at the broom closet a few metres away from them and started to walk there carefully, taking exaggeratedly creeping steps. Carmilla raised an eyebrow and smirked at Laura.

Laura reached the broom closet door and opened it to reveal two students making out, their uniforms a mess and their hands in compromising positions. They leapt apart from each other quickly, faces red at being caught.

“Bradley?” Laura asked, recognizing the other sixth year Hufflepuff prefect and his Gryffindor girlfriend.

“Hollis.” Bradley quickly ran a hand through his hair, trying to get it to settle as if that would make Laura forget that she’d just found him making out with his girlfriend in the closet. “I said I’d cover this corridor.”

“Good job ‘covering the corridor’,” Carmilla snarked from behind Laura.

Bradley shot a look at Carmilla. “We’re not meant to do our patrols with non-prefects.”

“I don’t think you can talk right now,” Laura shot back. Bradley shifted uncomfortably on his feet and glanced over at his girlfriend.

“Right, yeah, sorry. I just- can you let this slide?”

Laura looked between Bradley, his terrified looking girlfriend, and Carmilla. She sighed heavily. “Fine, but can you finish up the rest of the patrol?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, totally, sure thing.”

Laura left without saying goodbye, a skip in her step as she did, and Carmilla followed her.

After they were halfway down the corridor Bradley’s girlfriend smacked him on the back of the head and said, “I thought you put a silencing charm on the door!”

“I thought I did!” he replied defensively.

Carmilla snickered and Laura flashed her a triumphant grin as they rounded the corner.

“Smooth move, creampuff. So what are we going to do with the rest of our night?”

Laura’s smile twisted up to the side and Carmilla’s step faltered for a moment, her smirk loosening and eyes losing focus. Laura’s smile danced and she skipped ahead, Carmilla shaking herself back into present and jogging to catch up with her.

\---

Danny started awake as the lights snapped on in the auror’s break room. She had offered to take one of the overnight on-call shifts to try and get herself out of the other trainee aurors’ bad books for being taken along on the hunt for Ms Dean.

“Lawrence, get up.” The security officer’s voice was strained and his face was chalk white. She grabbed her uniform jacket, checked her wand and potions on her belt, and pushed herself out of bed. Sleep had fled her body at the look on the officer’s face, adrenaline flooding her system.

“Is it the protestors?” she asked as she slipped her jacket on and pulled on her gloves. She rechecked her wand in its sheath on her belt and gave it a squeeze through the coat.

The officer led her to the elevator, his jaw clenched. He didn’t even look at her, let alone answer her question, and she figured that if it was important he’d tell her, rather than give her this silent treatment. The relationship between security officers and aurors was tense at the best of times, most security officers were known as wanting to be aurors who didn’t make the cut, so in return they treated aurors with hostility. It didn’t help that since this protestors situation the aurors had been backing them up. Most officers took it as a personal attack, that they weren’t good enough to do their job. It was one of the reasons Danny was keen to get off babysitting duty.

The elevator doors opened at the atrium and Danny couldn’t help but gasp.

The officer stepped out of the elevator and when Danny didn’t move he looked back to her expectantly. She took a step into the atrium and stared at the fountain statue.

“Who did this? Did you see-?” Words failed her and she realised that her hands were balled up into hard fists.

“No,” he replied and Danny resisted the urge to yell at him. _How could he have not seen?_ “I was on patrol. When I left everyone was sleeping, when I came back…”

Danny stepped forward, eyes not moving off the fountain. Her hands were starting to ache, muscles coiled so tightly that it felt like she was either going to lash out or snap.

The security officer must have sensed her mood because his attitude melted away, suddenly offering information that she hadn’t asked for. “I got in contact with Pullen, he’ll be here in five minutes. He said that we should organize the protestors for interviews and-”

“I know what protocol is,” Danny cut him off. Her voice was hard, thick, rough; it almost sounded like someone else’s voice.

“Do you need any help?” he offered.

“Line them up.”

He moved further into the atrium where the group of protestors was standing, most of them looking terrified as they either stared up at the fountain or huddled with each other speaking softly and quickly.

Danny realised her fists were shaking. She forced her hands to open, putting them behind her back and gripping the fingers together hard, leather catching as she did.

Hanging above the Ministy atrium statue was the Dark Mark. The green skull hung between the witch and wizard, the snake wrapping around their shoulders and for a split second Danny swore that it looked straight at her.

\---

_You don’t have to apologise for not telling me stuff, I totally get it. Security and all that, it’s just cool that you reply to me :)_

_Awesome! I’ll tell the group, plus I reckon the Summer Soc girls will be super keen for that too. They ask me how you’re going like all the time. You’re kind of their hero a bit I think._

_The twins are settling in alright with being in different houses, they spend every meal time together. I promise I haven’t tried to recruit them to the Zetas. But like, if they ask me to do I have to say no?  Cos I reckon it’d be good to get them involved in stuff and meet some new people._

_(Please don’t send me another howler. So many Zetas and Summer Soc girls ended up at detention after the last one.)_

_Be safe. I’ll see you soon. (Hopefully.)_

_Kirsch_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	9. The Obligation

_I saw the Prophet article about the Dark Mark at the Ministry. Are you okay?_

_Kirsch_

\---

Danny steeled herself, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slow. She stared at the bronze plaque on the office door in front of her that read 'Head Auror Jasper Pullen' then she knocked twice, firmly.

“Come in.”

She entered and Auror Pullen looked up from his paperwork.

“Lawrence,” he greeted her and gestured to one of the two seats in front of his desk. His office was sparse, perfectly clean, and his chair was the same design and size as the guest chairs. The desk was made from a dark wood, and it was empty save for a deep green desk blotter, two trays that pages were flying back and forth between, and a large quill that was hovering over a parchment in the corner.

“You said you wanted to see me sir.”

The quill came to life, moving across the page. Danny couldn't help but watch it, until Pullen redirected her attention back to him with his hands. “Takes notes of everything said in this room. Since memory isn't quite what it used to be.” His voice was hard and Danny's thoughts went to Ms Dean immediately. Her memory tampering had left a mark on the auror department; distrust hung heavy in the air, stricter security protocols had been put into place, and people had started taking personal measures to keep their memories safe. The department was trying to pull itself together as well as it could but it was a struggle.

Pullen continued, “I wanted to thank you for last night. You performed admirably in a difficult situation.”

Danny nodded. “Just doing my job sir.” She hadn't been able to sleep, she was running on fumes right now and all of her nerves felt frayed.

“I know you're a pureblood,” he said casually and Danny's muscles seized, very suddenly, and very tightly. He saw this and held his hands up. “No discrimination, but I understand that must have been a difficult sight to see, as a Lawrence.” Danny still didn't say anything and Pullen added, “You handled yourself professionally. It won't be forgotten.”

Danny nodded again, this time curter than the last, and she dragged her voice out of her throat to say, “Thank you, sir.”

“I saw that you were being moved to the team working to find Ms Dean.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I'm going to have to ask you to stay here.”

“Sir?”

Danny had never been good at hiding her emotions, even when she tried her hardest, the way her jaw set and her shoulders rose to her ears always betrayed her. So it was no surprise that Pullen noticed her reaction straight away. “I understand that you see what we're doing here as babysitting, honestly that's what it has been so far, but now...” Pullen stood from his chair and walked around to Danny's side of the table, taking a seat on the edge of the desk and folding his hands together. “I like to choose a trainee auror to mentor in every year. MacArthur was one of them. I'd like you to be mine for this year.”

Danny was torn, on one hand the fact that the head auror was telling her he wanted to mentor her was incredible, but she itched to be out hunting for the ex-headmistress. She swallowed that feeling as hard as she could and said, “I'd be honoured.”

“Don't worry Lawrence, it'll only be until things settle here. I want to get back out there too.” He stood and went back over to his side of the table, taking a seat and flicking through the paperwork on his desk. He glanced back up at her, as if surprised that she was still there. “You're dismissed.”

“Sir.” Danny left the office and leaned against the door after she'd shut it, closing her eyes for a moment and gathering herself before she straightened her jacket and headed down the hallway.

\---

“Hey have you guys heard from Danny?” Kirsch asked as he took a seat at the lunch table. Laura smiled at him and handed him a cookie, which he took a bite out of while still managing to look worried.

“Is the Amazon ignoring your love letters?” Carmilla asked with a mocking melodramatic pout.

Kirsch ignored her and said, “After what happened at the Ministry I'm worried about her.”

“Relax jockstrap, it was just a protester trying to make a point.”

“It wasn't a very tasteful one,” Perry sniffed.

“Points aren't meant to be tasteful, Perr. They're meant to shake things up.” LaFontaine caught Laura's look and quickly added, “Not that I agree with what they did. Sugar. Sweetie. Babe.”

Perry gave them a look, knowing what they were doing, but instead of continuing on with her point she dropped it.

Laura patted Kirsch on the hand. “I'm sure Danny's fine, Kirsch.”

Kirsch nodded, but he didn't look convinced. Carmilla leaned forward so she could see past Laura to Kirsch. “Lighten up Lassie, she's a big girl. Xena could take whole armies with the power of her glare.”

“Yeah.” Kirsch smiled vacantly as his mind went to Danny. “Yeah, she could.”

Carmilla gagged at Kirsch’s expression and Laura patted her on the thigh, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. Carmilla’s eye roll stopped midway and her eyes dropped over to the side as a grin pulled up on the corner of her mouth.

The owls arrived, swooping through the hall and making Carmilla duck her face into Laura’s neck. Laura caught a letter from her dad, which was addressed to both her and Carmilla, and LaFontaine got theirs with a mild look of surprise. Their parents were meant to still be in Romania, and they didn’t send mail while they were away – the dragons usually incinerated the parchment.

Perry noticed the letter with curiosity; she’d comforted LaFontaine enough times about their absent parents to know what an odd occurrence this was. LaF glanced over at Perry, who matched their look and gave LaF the reassurance that they needed to be able to open the letter.

LaFontaine read the letter quickly, then re-read it, and finally they let it drop onto the table as they swallowed hard.

“Are you okay? Are they-?” The end of that sentence was are they okay – as dragonologists they were in one of the most dangerous fields so it was always an overhanging threat that one of them might not make it through.

LaFontaine’s gaze snapped over to Perry and they nodded. “Yeah, they’re fine.”

“What did they say?”

LaFontaine picked up the letter, folded it over several times, and put it into the inside of their robes. “Nothing. They just wanted to check if I was settled in alright.”

LaFontaine’s parents loved them, but they loved them in their own way and that way did not include checking how they were settling into school. Or it hadn’t for the previous six years. Even though Perry itched to ask what was happening the closed off look on LaFontaine’s face made her drop it. The Wand Registry argument was still sitting between them, proof that they weren’t indestructible, and it made Perry hesitant to test the boundaries. Boundaries that had previously not existed.

She resettled her attention on Kirsch who was animatedly telling Laura about some of the Puddlemere United training drills that he had been running with Danny during the holiday. Every so often Carmilla would insert an inappropriate comment and Perry would chastise Carmilla while biting back her amusement at Kirsch’s clear embarrassment. Perry glanced over at LaFontaine to see if they were entertained by the conversation, but instead they were frowning down at their plate and picking at their food.

Panic rose in Perry’s stomach but she cleared her throat, took several sharp breaths and told herself that LaFontaine would come to her when they were ready. Now was not the time to be pushy, bossy Perry. Now was the time to prove to LaFontaine that she could respect them. LaFontaine looked over at her and Perry realised that she was staring. She coughed, cleared her throat, and tuned back into the conversation across the table just in time to hear Carmilla make an innuendo about Danny polishing Kirsch’s broom handle.

\---

They’d been in Transfiguration for twenty minutes before Carmilla sighed heavily and leaned over to LaFontaine to ask, “What’s up with you, Ginger Meggs?”

LaFontaine had been huddled over their parchment, scribbling a messy pattern into the corner, and they whipped their head around to Carmilla so suddenly that Carmilla flinched back. She covered it up by crossing her arms, as if she’d meant to do that all along.

“What? Nothing.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes; she was so not in the mood to drag the truth out of them. Still, LaFontaine had been acting so out of sorts that she felt obligated to keep going.

“You’re not as subtle as you think.” LaFontaine simply stared back blankly, causing Carmilla to grunt in frustration. “Just tell me what’s wrong so we can move on from this Kodak moment.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” LaFontaine insisted.

Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long breath. Then she settled herself and when she looked up her face was fixed with a careful blankness. “Look, you don’t have to tell me, whatever. But don’t pull this crap. You’re too smart for it and frankly I don’t have the patience for it.”

They both maintained eye contact, Carmilla looking bored while also expectant, and LaFontaine’s expression unreadable. Finally, LaFontaine put down their quill slowly and started picking at the skin around their nails. They stared down at the scribbled pattern they’d created on the parchment for a few deep breaths before finally speaking.

“My parents, they came back from Romania for the Wand Registry protest. Apparently things have gotten…” LaFontaine shook their head, those details were unimportant. “They want me to join them.”

“At the protest?”

“Yeah.”

“What about school?”

LaFontaine barked a humourless laugh and shrugged. Carmilla’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she watched them carefully, trying to read between the lines of their response.

LaFontaine dropped the act with a heavy sigh, so heavy that their body seemed to deflate with it. “I believe in the protest, I know it’s important, but what they’re asking…”

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

LaFontaine looked back up to Carmilla and asked, “Don’t I?” It wasn’t a question, not in the normal sense of the word. It was laden with subtext and Carmilla could sense it, but wasn’t quite sure what it was, so she remained silent and waited for LaFontaine to go on because it didn’t seem like they were done.

“It’s a good cause,” LaFontaine finally said, but it sounded like they were trying to convince themselves more than trying to convince Carmilla.

“It is.”

“And my parents never ask me for anything.”

“But do they ever do anything for you?”

“They’re my parents.”

“That’s not an answer.”

LaFontaine stared down at their hands as they picked at the skin harder. “They-they’re just really busy.”

“Look,” Carmilla started with gravity in her tone, “If you want to do this you do it. But don’t do it for your parents. It’s your life and you’re the one who has to live with the consequences. Not them. Don’t let a feeling of obligation make your decision for you.”

LaFontaine finally tore their eyes from their hands and gave Carmilla a wry smile. “When did you get so wise?”

“Please,” Carmilla scoffed. “You know nothing, Jon Snow.”

They lapsed into a silence and Carmilla lazily waved her wand at her arm and caused her skin to change to green scales, to blue, to black. LaFontaine watched her, trying to concentrate on the wrist movement she was doing, but their chest remained tight as they bunched their robes between their fingers.

Feathers started to sprout out of the scales - black, thick and long - as Carmilla continued to perform a series of fluid movements with her wand. Without taking her attention off her arm Carmilla said, “You’ll figure it out.”

For some reason it helped that it was Carmilla saying it. She wasn’t the type to offer hollow platitudes and that made a fraction of the tightness slacken as LaF opened their hands and let go of their robes. If it had been anyone else LaFontaine would have hugged them or said something in return, but with Carmilla they just watched her turn the feathers a brilliant rainbow colour that glowed in the light.

\---

“Sir, we have the wizard who cast the Dark Mark in interrogation room one.”

Auror Pullen looked up from his desk and blinked once, face blank, before nodding and standing in a sweeping motion, taking the file from the auror at his doorway and proceeding to the interrogation room. His footsteps echoed down the hallway as he walked and he counted each step in his head. When he reached the interrogation room he took a sharp breath before opening the door and striding in.

Sitting at the table, under a spot light in an otherwise black room, was the person who had cast the Mark. He barely looked old enough to grow proper facial hair, let alone be one of the few stubborn Death Eaters that remained in the dark recesses of the wizarding world.

“Listen, I'm not a Death Eater, I swear. I don't worship Lord Voldemort, I just did it to make an impact. What you're doing here is not okay, I-”

Pullen looked at the file down in his hands. “Terry, is it? Terrance.”

Terry seemed caught off guard by this, nodding. “Yes. I prefer Terry-”

The slap of the file hitting the table cut Terry short as Pullen took a seat opposite him. “How old are you, Terrance?”

Terry could see his date of birth written on the front of the file, but when the expectant silence drew on longer he cleared his throat and replied, “Nineteen.”

“Nineteen,” Pullen echoed slowly. “So you were two years old when the war ended.”

“Almost.”

“Almost two,” he corrected himself. “Tell me, was last night the first time you saw the Morsmordre?”

“Yes.”

“Quite intimidating isn't it? Designed to scare people into submission.” Pullen leaned forward, clasping his hands together on the table, on top of the file. “Do you think that's what the Ministry is trying to do?”

“Aren't you? I mean, you're gathering people's information, we're not criminals and we don't deserve to be treated-”

“Do you want to know the first time I saw the Morsmordre, Terrance?”

Terry remained silent, transfixed by Pullen's gaze.

“I was five years old. Living out near Ottery St. Catchpole when it was cast over our neighbours' house. I thought it was... Well, beautiful. I stood there staring at it for ten minutes, watching the snake move. Then my parents found me and we ran. They told me later on what it meant, that our neighbours had been killed by Death Eaters. That was the first time I remember crying, I didn't know how something so beautiful could mean something so terrible.”

Terry's expression was getting more panicked as he felt the mood in the room turn, Pullen's expression darkening.

“Casting the Morsmordre is an illegal act. You might not understand the full weight of what you did when you cast it, but I'm afraid that doesn't change anything.” Pullen picked up the file and tapped the bottom of it against the desk, ensuring all the papers were neatly inside it. “You'll be sent to Azkaban tonight.”

Terry's face blanched. “Wait, no, I can't- please, can't I appeal it? I didn't mean to-”

“This isn't non-magical court, Terrance.” Pullen stood and made his way back to the door. He paused just inside it, shoulders a hard line as he turned his head to look at Terry out the corner of his eye. “And frankly, you're lucky I don't strike you down where you sit.”

He opened the door in one firm motion and left, ignoring the pleas and cries of Terry from inside the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	10. The Floo Network

_‘TENSIONS RISE AT MINISTRY’_

LaFontaine stared at the front page of the Daily Prophet that Laura was reading. There was a photo of the Ministry atrium and it showed a line of protestors with linked arms and faces twisted in anger as they shouted at expressionless security officers and aurors. They hadn’t replied to their parents yet, they didn’t know what to say, not yet.

What Carmilla had said was right, they knew that, but they still felt the tug to meet their parents. Not only out of obligation, but because they believed in the cause. Especially now, with the Dark Mark hanging over the whole thing it had twisted the aim of the protestors and public opinion was starting to turn. The photo didn’t help, they thought as they watched one of the protestors very clearly yell a stream of curse words at a security officer.

There was only a week to go until the November 1st start date for the Wand Registry and people were getting steadily more desperate trying to stop it. ‘Tensions rise’ was downplaying it.

“Are you okay?” Perry asked from next to LaFontaine. LaF had yet to tell Perry about their parents’ request, and they had spent a lot of the time feeling like they were trying to juggle without really having the coordination for it.

LaFontaine tore their gaze from the cover story and offered her the most genuine smile they could. “Yeah, totally.”

They could feel Carmilla’s eyes on them but they ignored her. Even if Carmilla wasn’t thrilled that she was the only person LaFontaine had told, she’d never say anything to Perry.

Laura sighed and folded the newspaper in half, putting it down on the table and taking a bite out of her toast. “How do you tell someone that you’ve got this thing that they’d be really good at but they don’t want to do it but they should because it would be awesome.”

“Breathe,” Carmilla prompted her and Laura obeyed, sucking in a long breath. “Is this about that History of Magic girl?”

“Bea,” Laura corrected. “Yes. She’s an amazing artist, and she’d be the perfect cartoonist for the paper but every time I mention it she just bails.”

“Maybe she just doesn’t want to do it.”

“She does though,” Laura insisted. “I can tell.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. She gestured towards Perry. “Ask the pep squad.”

Realising that she was being talked about, Perry’s attention went from LaFontaine to Laura and Carmilla. “What?”

“I’m trying to convince someone to join the paper.”

“Well I think the best way to do it is to tell then the difference it could make. Or how good it would look as an extra curricular,” Perry said. “Or if that doesn’t work, perhaps I could bake some brownies?”

“Bribing, nice.”

“It’s not bribing! It’s just…” Perry shrugged, making a sweeping gesture with her hand. “Persuading.”

Carmilla scoffed a laugh but didn’t say anything else.

“What do you think LaFontaine?” Laura asked.

“I, uh-” ( _My parents are asking me to join the protest and I’m thinking of doing it_ , sat on the tip of their tongue but they swallowed it down.) “Brownies are always good.” They put an arm around Perry’s shoulders. “Especially Perr’s.”

“Thanks sweetie,” Perry beamed. LaFontaine responded with a kiss to her cheek, and they felt Perry lean further into them and the bitter taste of guilt hit the back of their throat.

They made eye contact with Carmilla across the table and even though Carmilla’s expression was blank LaF felt like they could see disappointment and judgment there. (It occurred to them that they might just be seeing a reflection of their own feelings.)

\---

Laura strode into the History of Magic classroom armed with a box of Perry’s brownies. She went straight over to Bea, who was halfway through a sketch of a Hungarian Horntail.

“Hi, how’s your morning going?”

Bea looked up with that same surprised expression she always wore when Laura spoke to her. “Um, good.” She kept looking up at her before remembering to add, “How’s yours?”

“It could get a lot better shortly,” Laura said as she took a seat next to Bea and set her things down, placing the box of brownies between them.

Bea looked down at it then back up at Laura. “What do you mean?”

“Look, last year I started the-”

“Laura,” Bea interrupted, her face falling to a rarely seen expression of frustration. Normally, Bea’s expectations were so low that she wouldn’t get frustrated at anything, but this was a well-travelled topic between them.

Laura opened the lid of the box, revealing the still-warm brownies. “I know, I know. But hear me out.” She nudged the box closer to Bea, who eyed the brownies. Laura nodded encouragingly and Bea took one out of the box, taking a tentative bite. “I think it’ll look really good, I mean you want to work for the Ministry right? It’s always good to have extra curricular activities.”

Bea shook her head. She covered her mouth, chewing and swallowing the mouthful she was working on before speaking. “That’s  _why_  I don’t want to do it. I can’t be doing some political cartoons if I want to be a politician in the future.”

“Oh.” Laura seemed to stall on that point, the tip of her tongue poking the corner of her mouth. Then something occured to her and she continued with renewed enthusiasm, “Well, you don’t need to put your name on it. You can be a secret contributor. And you can say you did something else, like… distribution.”

“Distribution,” Bea echoed.

“Distribution,” Laura confirmed. Bea still didn’t look convinced so Laura went on, “Come on, you can’t tell me that you don’t at least kind of want to do this. You know, like, everything that’s going on with the latest news stories, and you’ve got a great knowledge of politics, and with everything that’s happening…”

Bea stayed silent for a long moment, her face conflicted. (But hey, Laura could go for conflicted, conflicted was good because conflicted meant there was a ‘yes’ in there somewhere.) When she finally spoke her voice was quiet, “You don’t know my last name do you?”

“Your last name? What does your last-?”

“Pullen. Bea Pullen.”

Laura’s eyes widened before she could stop them. She cleared her throat and put her most nonchalant expression on, as if she was just mildly curious. “Pullen? Like, Jasper Pullen the head of the MLE?”

Bea gave a half shrug as she stared hard at her parchment where the dragon was sleeping on a bed of coins.

“That’s why you don’t want to have a political stance? It might make trouble for him?”

Bea didn’t answer but Laura didn’t need her to. Laura grabbed Bea’s hand suddenly, the one that didn’t have a brownie, and in Bea’s surprise she looked back up at Laura.

“Do you want to draw for the newspaper? If your dad didn’t know, I mean.”

Bea looked into Laura’s eyes, her own wide and scared, and she nodded very slightly.

“I won’t tell anyone that it’s you,” Laura promised.

Bea held her eye contact for another long few moments, a series of expressions flashing across her face. Finally, she nodded again, so subtly that Laura wasn’t sure she’d done it until another few seconds had passed and Bea repeated it, this time more sure.

Laura squealed and launched forward, grabbing Bea into a tight hug. Bea tensed, her shoulders flying up around her ears, but Laura held on until she relaxed.

“This is going to be awesome,” Laura assured her with utter conviction.

Bea offered her a shy smile in return.

\---

Danny was reading over the auror manual in the break room when the fireplace spluttered. She didn’t look up from the manual, figuring she’d just imagined the sound (she was kind of sleep deprived), but then she heard, “Hello? Is anyone there?”

She looked up at the fireplace and there, hovering in the flames, was Kirsch’s head.

“What the-? Kirsch?” She dropped the manual onto the table and went over to the fire, staring at Kirsch’s disembodied head incredulously.

Kirsch grinned up at her, as if he’d done something worth praise and not a really severe talking to. “Hey Lawrence.”

“What are you doing here?” Danny looked around the break room, which was thankfully empty at the late hour of the night, and quickly locked the door with her wand.

“I wanted to check if you were okay.” His mouth dipped down. “You didn’t reply to my letters.”

Kirsch’s letters had been sitting in Danny’s locker, she hadn’t replied because she honestly didn’t know what to say, as well as being absolutely slammed with the protestors, and what was she even meant to say? She didn’t want to lie and tell Kirsch that the mark was no big deal, that felt… She was uncomfortable with doing that. And it wasn’t like she was allowed to give him any details on her work, so that didn’t leave much else to say. The mail to and from auror trainees was closely monitored and it felt like they would forbid everything she wanted to talk about.

“I’m fine Kirsch. How are you even here?”

Kirsch’s grin returned and Danny felt a tug in her chest. “Zeta bro.”

“Of course,” Danny sighed and ran a hand through her hair, partly to push it back and partly to give her something to do other than yell at Kirsch. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m not,” Kirsch replied and off Danny’s skeptical look he added, “Just my head is.”

“Is that what you’re going to say when the aurors visit you at school?”

“Don’t worry, I covered it.” He suddenly became serious, grin slackening into a solemn look. “I miss you, Lawrence.”

The urge to yell at him still sat like a fire in the base of her skull but she sighed and let it go, allowing her other emotions forward, if only for a moment. “I miss you too.” A beat passed and she quickly added, “And the others. I miss the others.”

He smiled at her knowingly and she felt her cheeks heat up in a way that had nothing to do with the fire.

The door handle rattled and there was a series of impatient knocks at the door. Kirsch looked behind her and then winked, shooting her one last grin before his head disappeared and the flames flickered and died down. Danny quickly opened the door and an irritated looking auror strode in, rolling his eyes and not deigning to acknowledge her as he muttered something about ‘trainees’.

\---

Laura and Carmilla were sitting in front of the fireplace at the Shrieking Shack as Laura recounted her day, explaining how Perry had been right about the convincing powers of brownies and what she'd found out about Bea.

“Her dad’s the head of the MLE?” Carmilla echoed and then let out a long breath. “Laura…”

Laura nodded, the look in her eyes saying ‘I know right?’ in an excited way that didn’t at all match Carmilla’s reaction. “I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone, but you’re not a person.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow and Laura waved her off saying, “You know what I mean.”

“Are you sure you want to get close to this girl?”

“Are you getting jealous?”

“I don’t get jealous,” Carmilla growled. “I just don’t think that, given our situation, it’s a good idea to have the daughter of the head auror as a buddy.”

“Our situation?” Laura repeated incredulously.

“Yeah, the whole me lying to him thing,” Carmilla explained, gesturing over to the trunk in the corner, as if Laura not remembering that was the problem.

“I’m sorry, how is that ‘our’ situation?”

“Well, not-” Carmilla ran a hand through her hair, eyebrows locking together in frustration. “You know what I mean.”

“No, please, do explain how I can’t make a friend with someone because _you_ lied to the head of the MLE.”

“I thought you had my back.” Carmilla was breathing hard, the anger on her face was now little more than a thin veil as the desperation underneath shone through.

Laura’s face relaxed, lines smoothing out and her eyes softening. “I do. I do have your back, but Carm…  She won’t find out okay? I promise.”

Carmilla’s shoulders sagged; all the energy rushing out of her body in one fell swoop. “Laura…”

Laura shifted herself in front of Carmilla, between her and the fireplace, and put her hands on Carmilla’s knees. She waited for Carmilla to lift her eyes and when she did she squeezed her knees lightly. “Trust me.”

Carmilla blinked once, twice, and dragged in a shuddering breath before nodding. “I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	11. The Decision

Laura walked into the Hufflepuff common room and found Perry sitting there, scribbling on a parchment, muttering to herself looking even more frantic than usual. It was still early, early enough that the common room was empty apart from them and Laura immediately made her way to the Head Girl.

“Good morning,” she beamed at Perry, who mirrored the smile but with an absent edge.

“Hi Laura.”

“Are you okay?”

Perry sighed as if she didn’t know how to reply to that, but she didn’t know how to keep herself from replying either. “I’m trying to organize the Halloween feast, and Peeves keeps threatening to ruin it, and my mother keeps asking if I want to do an internship at the Ministry, and LaFontaine isn’t talking to me properly and I know that _some_ thing is happening with their parents and I just wish that they’d feel comfortable telling me, and what if I fail my N.E.W.T.s and have to be kept back, I just don’t think I can take that kind of rejection-”

“Perry, Perry!” Laura waved her hands in front of Perry’s face, snapping her out of the downward spiral she’d shot herself into. “You won’t fail your N.E.W.T.s.”

Perry deflated, all the anxious energy that had been powering her left in a whoosh. She bit her lip and said dejectedly, “I know. I-I know. That’s not really what I…”

“That’s not what you’re worried about,” Laura finished for her.

Perry nodded.

“You’re worried about LaFontaine.”

Perry nodded again.

“And your mother.”

“I could deal with her if things were alright with LaFontaine,” Perry admitted. “Maybe that’s not healthy but I-”

“They’re your best friend.”

Perry nodded miserably. “I feel so selfish, because they’re the one going through something and I’m getting angry at them for not telling me. But the reason they’re not telling me is because they’re not comfortable with telling me and isn’t that my fault?”

The urge to reassure Perry was so strong that Laura had no idea what to say, all these words rushing to mind but none of them quite making it out. So instead she leaned forward suddenly and wrapped her into a hug. Finally, she managed to say, “No. Not at all. I promise.”

It didn’t feel like Perry believed her, her body hadn’t eased off the coiled tightness, so Laura gave her an extra tight squeeze before backing off and carefully watching Perry’s face. She could see the tension written all over it and she resisted the urge to hug her again, instead asking, “Is there anything I can do?”

Perry smiled at her sadly. “No. But thanks, sweetie.”

“You know I’m totally here for you one-hundred-and-ten percent, right?”

Perry patted Laura’s hand and offered her the best smile she could manage. (The way it was fractured almost broke Laura.) “I know.”

“And anytime you need to talk, about anything, ever, seriously, I’m totally down.”

Some of the brokenness left Perry’s smile, a glint of genuineness shining through. “Anything?”

“Anything,” Laura replied firmly.

“Can you help me with the Halloween preparations?” Perry asked hopefully. She quickly added, “You don’t have-”

“Of course!” Laura smiled sunnily at Perry and with that the last of the brokenness left her face.

Perry sat up straighter, shuffling the parchment in front of her and ordering it before placing it between her and Laura, gesturing at the first point that she’d written on it. “Okay, so I think we should start here.”

Laura looked down at the neatly written ‘BRIBE PEEVES TO NOT RUIN HALLOWEEN’ and looked back at Perry with raised eyebrows. “Sure, let’s start small.”

\---

LaFontaine and Carmilla were walking to breakfast together from the Ravenclaw common room (a habit that had started last year after she and Laura had gotten together, and one that LaFontaine didn’t dare comment on) when Carmilla stopped and grunted at LaFontaine.

LaFontaine looked back at her in confusion. “What?”

“You’re sulking.”

LaFontaine pouted, which probably wasn’t their finest moment, but whatever. “Am not.”

“Oh come on, usually you’re rambling on about potions or spells, or trying to cheat off my Transfiguration homework.”

“Asking for help is not cheating!”

“Reading my essay is.”

“Point taken,” LaFontaine conceded. Carmilla continued to look at them expectantly so they sighed deeply. “It’s just this whole protest thing, and with everything getting more intense, and the Wand Registry date is coming closer and-”

Carmilla looked exasperated and that cut LaFontaine off from continuing as they became suddenly very aware of how annoying it must be to hear about this. Sure, they’d been obsessing ever since they’d gotten the letter, but that didn’t mean that they should bother other people with it. They mumbled, “Sorry.”

“Why haven’t you told Tweedle Dee?” Carmilla asked, expression going from frustrated to discerning.

“Perry? I-” Why hadn’t they? They didn’t know how to put that without sounding horrible. “I don’t know.”

Carmilla didn’t even blink when she said, “Bullshit.”

(What gave Carmilla the right to be so good at reading people? Merlin’s wand. You’d think someone who put so much energy into pretending not to care about people could extend that to not calling them on when they were trying to hide from painful truths.)

LaFontaine tried to match Carmilla’s look, but they caved embarrassingly quickly. “Fine. I know what she’s going to say.”

“You know what you _think_ she’s going to say.”

LaFontaine shot her a look. “I know what she’s going to think. I know her. I’ve known her since we were five years old.”

“What do you think she’s going to think?” From anyone else this would be a curious question, softened with kindness; from Carmilla it was a challenge.

“That I shouldn’t do it. That it’s dangerous and I don’t owe my parents anything because they’ve bailed on me so many times.”

“Sounds about right.” LaFontaine realised that it was basically the same thing that Carmilla had told them earlier, and wondered why they hadn’t realised that before. Carmilla and Perry were always such opposites in LaFontaine’s mind that it probably should mean something that they were agreeing on this. Carmilla studied LaFontaine and asked, “And that’s wrong?”

LaFontaine didn’t know how to reply to that, didn’t know how to explain the feeling that they had, so they replied with what they knew they were meant to say. “No.”

Carmilla’s face changed, very slightly, but with Carmilla the smallest of things could mean the most. “You don’t want to tell her because you’re going to do it anyway and you don’t want to go against what she says.”

LaFontaine wanted to protest, to tell Carmilla that she was being ridiculous and that wasn’t true at all, but no words came to their mind. Shit.

Carmilla put her pointer and middle finger to her temple and started rubbing it, hard enough that her fingers tugged the skin as they moved. She had her eyes closed as if even the sight of LaFontaine would drive her to insanity right now.

“Are you going to tell her?” LaFontaine asked, suddenly worried.

Carmilla let loose a long groan and her free hand went to her other temple so that she was rubbing either side of her head in sync. When Carmilla finally paused her movements and opened her eyes she almost looked hurt when she replied, “I haven’t even told Laura. I’m not going to tell Pippi Longstocking.”

The fact that Carmilla hadn’t told Laura was a surprise, LaFontaine had expected her to and that made them feel guilty. They had underestimated Carmilla. (Totally not a sentence they ever thought they’d think.)

“Thank you.”

Carmilla grunted. “Whatever.”

Carmilla wasn’t meeting their eyes so they assumed that the conversation was over, but when they went to continue walking to breakfast Carmilla grabbed them by the elbow and held them in place.

“When you get there, find Danny first.” She’ll keep you safe, was left unsaid. She’ll stop the security officers from roughing you up to send a message; she’ll see you as a _person_. And as that last piece slid into place LaFontaine knew that they were going to the protest.

LaFontaine looked at Carmilla with a nakedly open expression and nodded.

“When are you leaving?” Carmilla asked.

“Soon.”

LaFontaine trusted Carmilla, but they couldn’t bring themselves to tell her exactly when. Not that they even had a solid knowledge of when, they’d only just decided that they were going.

Carmilla didn’t ask for any more, nodding and glancing over to the side before returning her attention to LaF and nodding again. If LaFontaine didn’t know better they’d think she was nervous.

Carmilla suddenly grabbed LaFontaine into a hug that barely qualified as more than a body squeeze and afterwards she immediately started walking towards the Great Hall. LaFontaine had to jog to catch up to her and when they did they slung an arm around her shoulders.

“Karnstein, you’re a big softie,” LaFontaine accused her.

“Get off.” Carmilla dodged out of LaFontaine’s hold and narrowed her eyes at them, pointing threateningly. “If you tell anyone that happened…”

“You’ll hug me to death?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and crossed her arms, face pulled into a hard frown. LaFontaine just grinned at her and started listing all the things that she was softer than as they continued to walk to breakfast, Carmilla's scowl deepening with each thing.

“… Marshmallows,” LaFontaine finished the list that had contained at least fifty examples as they sat down at the table.

“What about marshamllows?” Laura asked, perking up.

LaFontaine looked over at Carmilla, who was completely uninterested in coming up with a reason, so they just shrugged as casually as they could and said, “They’re delicious.”

“Totally,” Laura agreed enthusiastically and the scowl on Carmilla's face turned into a faint smile that was more present in her eyes than her mouth. She leaned over and kissed Laura's temple, which caught Laura off guard but she smiled back brightly at Carmilla and leaned into her.

\---

LaFontaine hadn't planned on leaving that night, but as they were making their way to the common room they realised that they had to. Not had to. Wanted to. They wanted to go, and knowing that made them feel selfish for leaving Perry but they knew it was the right thing to do. They knew how to heal, they had a fair few healing potions sitting in their trunk, and with how things were going in the Ministry it looked like they'd need it. And it was what they believed in.

And if they didn't stand up for that then what would they stand up for?

They didn't say goodbye to Perry, they didn't say goodbye to any of them. They knew that it would hurt the others but they didn't know if they'd be able to leave if they spoke to Perry.

They used the Whomping Willow passageway to get to Hogsmeade and when they emerged in the Shrieking Shack they glanced around the room, remembering what this building meant to them, to Perry, to their friends. A letter to Perry sat in their bag, along with the potions and other belongings that they thought they might need. (Plus some Perry brownies, because who knows when they'd get another fix of those.)

They stepped out into the brisk night air and brought their jacket tighter around themselves. They'd left their school robes in their dorm room, at first they'd thrown them across their bed haphazardly, but then something stopped them and they went back, folded them, and put them in a neat pile at the foot of the bed. They didn't know why, it might have been Perry's voice in their head, or it might have been the passing thought that they wouldn't be back. They took in a deep breath, let it out, and closed their eyes against the rising concern as they quietened those voices in their head. They put one hand on their bag, another on their wand in their pocket, and steadied themselves.

They were doing the right thing.

They disapparated, not noticing someone watching from the shadows.


	12. The Letter

When Carmilla walked into the Great Hall alone Perry’s already heightened concerns skyrocketed. While things had been weird between her and LaFontaine lately, she couldn’t help shake this feeling that something was very off yesterday. She’d kept her worries to herself, assuming that she was just being silly, letting some erroneous anxiety in, but the sight of Carmilla walking into the Great Hall on her own with her head bowed brought it all screaming to the surface.

“Why isn’t LaFontaine with Carmilla?” Her voice shook as she asked the question but if Laura noticed she didn’t comment, just looking up from her breakfast to frown very slightly at the sight.

“Maybe they had something to do?” Laura offered.

It was hardly likely, but Perry appreciated the effort on Laura’s part. Once Carmilla was within earshot, Perry twisted her body towards her and asked, “Where’s LaFontaine?”

Carmilla shrugged and said gruffly, “I’m not their keeper.”

Perry’s attention flew back to the entrance to the Great Hall, as if LaFontaine would walk in at any moment. (Well, hoping.)

Perry missed Carmilla kissing Laura good morning and Laura’s questioning look that Carmilla answered with a shake of her head.

Perry’s eyes didn’t move from the entrance until a letter dropped onto her toast and she startled, jumping back, and then staring at the letter. (She knew that writing. Oh Merlin, she knew that writing. _What did this mean?_ ) She reached out slowly and picked up the envelope, one hand grasping it by the corner and the other hovering over the writing, the messy yet somehow uniform letters that leaned against each other at odd angles and deviated in thickness where the quill had paused or skated over the page.

Perry didn’t notice the breathless way Laura and Carmilla were watching her, Laura scared and Carmilla blank.

She turned the letter over and opened it, a fingernail sliding under the flap and flipping it open. She hesitated before pulling out the letter. She didn’t know why, not consciously, but there was perhaps a sense of wanting to hold onto a moment, a time where LaFontaine was just late to breakfast instead of…

Perry read the letter with shaking hands and flickering eyes. The first time she read it she skimmed it too quickly and didn’t understand. The second time, her heart was thudding in her throat, choking her. The third, she felt like crying, The fourth, she was madder than she’d ever been in her life.

“Hey dudes, happy Halloween! You bros got any plans? I'm jonesing for some serious pumpkin time, and maybe some pranks.”

It really wasn’t Kirsch’s fault that he had appeared at the exact wrong time, Perry was aware of that on some level, but that didn’t stop her from strangling the letter in her grip and saying through gritted teeth, “I don’t know Kirsch, why don’t you ask your brainless Zeta bros? Or even better why don’t you train that embarrassing group of people you call a team so that you don’t get slaughtered like you did the last time you played Hufflepuff?”

Kirsch opened and closed his mouth a few times, hurt and confusion written plain across his face. “I, uh-”

“Perry!” Laura scolded her.

“What, Laura? What is it?” Perry snapped.

Carmilla stood suddenly. “Come with me.”

“Why would I-?” Perry started but Carmilla just shot her a look and cocked her head, walking out of the hall without waiting for Perry to follow.

When Perry got to the hallway outside the Great Hall Carmilla was waiting for her, her expression unreadable but not hostile.

“Breathe,” Carmilla said, no judgment or emotion in her tone, it just was. Perry realised that she was hyperventilating, that the way her chest was binding her was noticeable. (She thought she was holding it together, wasn’t she holding it together?) Her knees were starting to feel weak and really weird technicolour dots were superimposing over everything as the taste of metal became stronger in her mouth. Carmilla stepped in closer to her and why was she looking at her like-?

Ceiling. She was staring at the ceiling. The technicolour had gone away and so had most of the metal taste, there was still an echo of it but it was a hint rather than a block sitting on her tongue. She went to sit up and a hand stopped her, Carmilla’s hand. Carmilla was sitting next to her.

“Stay down for a while.”

“Did I faint?”

Carmilla offered her a wry smile. “Like a Southern belle.”

Carmilla was holding the letter. Perry stared at it for a moment too long and Carmilla followed her gaze. She held the letter out to Perry and Perry accepted it, looking at it as if it was a foreign object before putting it in her robes pocket.

“Did you read it?”

“I didn’t have to.”

“You knew,” Perry said, voice low and accusing. Then she was sitting up, because she was way too close to Carmilla right now to be having this conversation. She moved away from her until she had her back against the wall, palms holding onto the floor because the world was still moving weirdly around her.

“I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Perry felt like she should have been angry, but she felt too mentally drained to be, so instead she was just hurt and sad and _lonely_.

“Wasn’t my place, Scarlett O’Hara.”

“Wasn’t your-” Perry wanted to yell, scream, cry, lie down. She wanted to do all of it and none of it, but most of all she felt lost and left behind. She sagged against the wall and tried to take the coolness of the stone as the shock to the system that she needed to stabilize herself.

“I told them not to. If that helps.”

Perry looked at Carmilla properly for the first time since she’d come to. She looked tired, exhausted actually. Dark circles lined the bottom of her eyes, her shoulders drawing in on herself, and Perry saw a reflection of her emotions on Carmilla’s face. Perry swallowed and reached out slowly, slow enough that Carmilla had plenty of time to move or flinch away. Eventually she reached her and put a hand on hers.

Carmilla held her eye contact, searching for something. Perry didn’t know if she found it or not, the only reaction Carmilla showed externally was putting her other hand on top of Perry’s. She didn’t squeeze it or pat it, or do anything at all really, other than place it there.

“Why did they leave me?” Perry knew it sounded plaintive and childish. Perry also knew that it had nothing to do with her, that this decision was bigger than her and that there were larger things at play, but right now it was how she felt. “Why didn’t they tell me?”

“They should have,” Carmilla agreed slowly. “I think that it would have been too difficult for them.”

“So they made it difficult for me instead.” The words came from somewhere deep in her gut and they tasted bitter in her mouth, like bile turned into sounds, and her mouth curled distastefully around them.

Carmilla didn’t say anything for a long moment and Perry suddenly became aware that she was complaining to _Carmilla_ of all people, and she withdrew, pulling her hand from Carmilla’s and apologizing, “I’m sorry, this isn’t- I shouldn’t be bothering you with-”

Carmilla caught Perry by the wrist before she could completely draw back into herself. “If you want to yell at someone, yell at me.”

Perry blinked. “What?”

Carmilla huffed a sound and stood, gesturing for Perry to join her by holding her hand down to her. Perry took it and let Carmilla pull her up onto her feet, unsure of how else to react. Carmilla led her outside and stopped, which made Perry stop and stare at her. Carmilla gestured vaguely and Perry had no idea what she meant by it. Carmilla looked frustrated by Perry’s lack of understanding and gestured more emphatically.

“Oh, you want me to-?” Perry mimicked Carmilla’s gesture, realizing that it was Carmilla’s invitation for her to yell.

“Yeah,” Carmilla said as if it had been obvious.

“What would I even yell about I mean…”

“Ginger Snap left you.”

“Yes,” Perry said slowly.

“With no goodbye, and what I’m assuming is a super lame letter.”

Perry frowned. “Yes.”

“They went and did something dumb and stupid and they didn’t even say goodbye properly to you.”

The anger was starting to come back to Perry, spreading through her muscles and making them tense hard. Through gritted teeth she said, “Yes.”

“So what would you say if they were here?”

“I would- I would…” A rush of words and arguments and feelings came forward, suddenly, and she shook her head as she tried to order them into some sort of list that made sense before she started yelling random words. “I would say: How dare you. How dare you think that a _letter_ is enough. How could you not tell me? After everything how could you just _leave_ without a single word? I was sitting there, waiting for you to feel comfortable with telling me what was on your mind, and you never did. Were you ever planning on telling me or were you always just going to leave and take the coward’s way out? Now you-you’re gone, and you’re probably going to get hurt, and I know you think it’s a good cause but LaFontaine… I might lose you and you didn’t even say _goodbye_. How am I meant to forgive that? How am I meant to forgive a piece of paper?”

Carmilla’s expression didn’t change, even as Perry’s voice got higher and cracked with emotion. Instead she listened, without judgement, without replying, just listened.

Perry let out a long breath, trying to purge her body of all the poisonous thoughts that had flooded her after reading the letter.

“I’m being selfish,” Perry said, feeling overwhelming guilt at what she’d just said. How could she think that, let alone say it like that? “I’m being so-”

“No,” Carmilla said firmly. “Look, if you don’t want to tell them that then don’t, but feeling like this isn’t selfish. You feel what you feel, you don’t have to apologise for it. Especially after what they’ve pulled.”

“It feels selfish.”

Carmilla didn’t say anything in reply, just shook her head.

“You knew,” Perry said again, but this time her voice was just defeated and quiet.

“I knew.”

“Did they think they couldn’t trust me?” Perry asked, and asking it made her feel selfish again, thinking about herself made her feel selfish but she couldn’t help it. Merlin, she couldn’t help it.

“They knew how you’d react. And they’d already made a decision and didn’t want to go against you.”

Perry felt her insides recoil. How controlling was she? If her partner couldn’t even tell her when they were struggling with something like this because they thought she’d try to take control of their decision then what kind of partner was she?

Carmilla interrupted her inner dialogue with, “Quit having a personal crisis, Pippi Longstocking.” Off Perry’s confused look Carmilla grunted, rolled her eyes and said, “They’re a good person, they made a shitty decision, that’s not on you.”

What Carmilla said made sense. Logically. On the surface Perry could see what she meant and that it was true, but it didn’t reach to the centre of how she felt.

Somehow Carmilla picked up on this, if her heaved sigh was anything to go by. She held her arms open and Perry looked at them in confusion. Carmilla let out a short, low sound of frustration and stepped towards her, arms still held open. Perry slowly took a step towards Carmilla, and it went in that awkward pacing until finally Carmilla closed her arms around Perry.

She heard Carmilla mutter, “You people, I swear.” She wondered if Carmilla had hugged LaFontaine before they left and the thought left a thick feeling in her throat so she pushed it aside and tried to focus on the nothing short of a miracle hug that Carmilla was voluntarily giving her. Carmilla was a rough hugger, as if the tighter the hug the more effective she’d be at squeezing out the negative emotions, but Perry appreciated it.

She held Carmilla back just as tightly and for a moment she almost felt like all her bad feelings had been squeezed out. As had her breath, but that was an acceptable trade, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	13. The Thestral

Perry hadn’t been able to tell Laura and Kirsch what LaFontaine had done, Carmilla had to step in and explain in short, exact terms. Kirsch, having not spent as much time around them as Laura, was shocked while Laura was just short of terrified for LaFontaine.

“But the protest looks like it might get violent.” Laura gestured to the front page of the Daily Prophet where the cover story was the protest and featured a close up of a protestor brandishing a lit firework.

Perry’s face paled as she watched the photo.

“Danny’s covering it though, so she’ll totally keep LaFontaine safe,” Kirsch said assertively and Perry tore her eyes from the front page to look at Kirsch and nod hopefully. She looked back towards Laura, who didn’t look convinced, but then Carmilla nudged her gently and she nodded at Perry.

“Totally,” Laura declared. “I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.”

Perry knew that Laura was just saying that for her sake, but she grabbed onto it as best she could and tried to take comfort in it.

“So, what is everyone doing for Halloween?” Perry asked, desperate to change the subject and barring herself from looking at the newspaper cover.

“We were going to-” Laura started.

“Nothing,” Carmilla cut her off.

Laura seemed surprised for a moment before quickly picking up the cue and nodded, repeating, “Nothing.”

“Hey, why don’t we go visit Hades?” Kirsch suggested with an eager grin.

“Are you sure?” Perry asked skeptically and he nodded enthusiastically.

“Totally, I love that little bro!”

Perry continued to scrutinize Kirsch’s expression but he just continued to grin back at her so she nodded. ”Okay.”

\---

Perry entered the clearing first, hand outstretched with a slice of raw red meat. Hades was the first Thestral to come forward out of the tree line, bounding towards her and letting loose several happy snuffles as he shook his head and stamped his feet. He nudged the piece of meat out of her hand and gobbled it down before pressing his nose back into her palm and letting out a happy huff.

“Is he here?” Kirsch asked eagerly and Perry looked back at him with a smile.

“He is.”

Kirsch looked at a spot in the air that he assumed was where Hades was and he grinned widely. “Hey bro.”

“Kirsch, he’s…” Perry gestured to where Hades was and Kirsch shot her a lopsided smile before correcting where he was looking and stepping towards Hades.

Even though Kirsch couldn’t see the Thestral he always treated him with a great deal of affection, at one point during the summer holiday he had fed him and  _giggled_  when the meat had disappeared from his hand.

Kirsch held out his hand and Hades looked at it and then back to Perry. Perry nodded and Hades went over to rub the side of his face against Kirsch’s outstretched hand. Kirsch let loose the same awed laugh that he always did and slowly reached out with his other hand so that he was patting both sides of the Thestral’s face, making his way up until he was scratching him behind the ear. Hades started making quiet happy snorts and Kirsch’s smile grew. “Hey buddy.”

Some of the other Thestrals had smelled the scent of blood and started to enter the clearing, making Carmilla shift uncomfortably next to Laura, moving behind her.

“Are you okay?” Laura asked Carmilla quietly over her shoulder.

“Yeah, fine, just…” Carmilla eyed the Thestrals. “Flying animals.”

“You’re a panther animagus,” Laura pointed out.

“So?” Carmilla replied defensively, shifting just a touch more behind Laura as one of the Thestrals stepped closer to Perry.

“Shouldn’t you want to hunt them?”

Carmilla pulled a grimace of distaste. “Please never suggest that again, cupcake.” Her eyes flicked nervously between the Thestrals in front of them and Laura couldn’t help but smile at her girlfriend as she slipped her hand into Carmilla’s. Carmilla held on tightly, drawing comfort from Laura, and Laura returned the squeeze steadily.

“Do you want to go for a ride?” Perry asked Kirsch and he looked at her with wide eyes.

“Is he old enough?”

“Not yet.” Perry ran her hand down Hades’ mane and looked at him lovingly. “But on the others.”

“There are others?” Kirsch whipped his head around, looking around the clearing, although he wouldn’t be able to see them regardless.

Perry nodded and brought out some more meat from the bag she’d brought, holding a few pieces out for the other Thestrals that had come. Two of them walked over, faster than they’d entered the clearing, but with more caution than Hades had used.

“ _Dude_ ,” Kirsch said as he watched the meat disappear. “That would be  _awesome_.”

“You won’t see them when you’re riding them,” Perry reminded him.

“That’s what makes it so awesome!”

Perry looked back to Laura and Carmilla. “What about you two?”

Carmilla firmly shook her head. “There is no way I am getting on one of those things.”

“I’ll stay too,” Laura offered.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “You can ride one of the steeds of Hell if you want, creampuff.”

From the thick of the woods someone took a step forward, keening, but they were stopped when Laura shook her head and told Perry, “We’ll hold down the fort. Have fun!”

Perry led Kirsch over to one of the full grown Thestrals, much to Hades’ displeasure, and helped him place both hands on the Thestral so he could mount it before going over to the other Thestral and lifting herself onto it smoothly.

The Thestrals extended their powerful leathery wings and flapped once, launching them hard into the air much to Kirsch’s delight as he let out a loud whoop and pumped his fist in the air. Perry’s excitement was multiplied by Kirsch’s reaction and she giggled and let out a cheer of her own, and the way that it echoed made her cover her mouth self consciously until Kirsch cheered louder and threw her a wicked grin.

Carmilla watched the two take off and leaned into Laura. “So what does holding down the fort entail, cutie?”

“Oh you know...” Laura twisted her body into Carmilla's and her mouth twisted up into a suggestive smile. “Probably a lot of making out.”

Carmilla smirked as she looped an arm around Laura's waist and pulled her tightly in. She kissed her once, softly, and then said against her lips, “We should hold down the fort more often.”

Laura's hand threaded through Carmilla's hair, thumb running along her jaw as she smiled up at her. “I thought you might like fort-holding.”

“You know me so well.”

“I like to think so.” Laura leaned up the extra fraction so that their lips were touching again and she ran the tip of her tongue along Carmilla's bottom lip. Carmilla took in a sharp breath and dragged her teeth against Laura's lip in reply. She felt Laura laugh once, softly, against her and she knew that whatever came next, she'd be at Laura's mercy in no uncertain terms.

Above them, Kirsch was cheering as his Thestral sped through the air, urging it on through flashy turns and twists through the air. Perry watched him with surprise, she’d never seen someone take to Thestrals so quickly, especially someone who couldn’t see them. She followed him at a steady pace, instead taking the time to gulp in the cold morning air, trying to clear her mind from the morning's events.

Being up this high helped (although it would be even better to have a bat in her hand and a Bludger screaming towards her), it felt like it was giving her perspective. Seeing the castle from this height, feeling the wind whip around her, knowing that if she wanted she could go to the Ministry and yell at LaFontaine…

No. She had to respect their decision. She was trying to respect their decision. She knew what was behind their decision.

 _Merlin_.

She was still furious. And sad. And she had nowhere to put all these feelings, which just made it more difficult. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get an owl to LaFontaine so closure was out of the question (as well as knowing if anything bad happened to them) and LaFontaine had to have known that going in. They knew that and it didn’t stop them.

Perry let that sink into her bones, radiating a searing heat through her muscles as it did, causing her fingers to tense around the Thestral’s mane. The Thestral let out a quiet snuff and she ran a hand down the side of its neck apologetically.

Kirsch settled back in beside her, his eyes wild and hair tousled by the wind. “Hey, are you okay?”

She offered him a small smile and nodded. She didn’t want to lie to him, but it was a bit much to go into right now and she felt emotionally drained. “How do you know which way the Thestral’s going to go?”

He shrugged. “I feel it. The way the muscles shift, I guess? I don’t know, just kind of work on instinct, you know?”

“You’re very good at it.”

Kirsch beamed at her with the happiness of someone who didn’t hear those words often enough. “Thanks, P. Maybe I should have taken Care of Magical Creatures.”

Kirsch had said it like it was a joke but Perry agreed sincerely, “You’re a natural.”

Kirsch’s ears started to go a light tinge of pink and he looked away, down at the castle grounds.

“I’m sorry.” Kirsch broke the silence with an apology as he continued to look down at the castle.

“Why?”

Kirsch turned to face her. “About LaF. It must be-” Kirsch cut himself off and then his gaze dropped back down, and although to Perry it seemed like he was looking at his Thestral, to him he was looking straight down at the ground beneath him. “I’m bad with words,” he mumbled and Perry had to strain to hear him. He said something else that she didn’t catch and then he snapped his gaze back up at her and repeated, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay sweetie,” Perry reassured him. He was acting like this was all his fault, and the idea that he may have played a part entered Perry’s mind for a split second before she shook it off. Kirsch always took everything on so personally that every slight his friends experienced felt like a personal failure to him. He still didn’t look convinced so she added, “I have you guys.”

Kirsch nodded, but the sadness stayed around his eyes. Perry wished she could reach over and give him a hug, but that wasn’t advisable given their places on the Thestrals.

“Do you want to fly through the mountains?”

The fact that the last time she’d gone through the mountains was with LaFontaine panged hard in Perry’s mind, but she pushed it aside forcefully. LaFontaine wasn’t here. Kirsch was, and he was her friend, and they could both use some ridiculous adrenaline rush right now.

Kirsch perked up immediately. “Bro. Do you even have to ask?”

Perry smiled, wide and genuine, and urged her Thestral over to the mountain range.

Laura had Carmilla pinned against a tree and was sucking a hickey onto the side of her neck when something moved through the forest near them, snapping twigs and crunching leaves. Laura stopped, freezing with her lips still against Carmilla’s neck, and Carmilla let out a needy whine.

“Did you hear that?”

“Are you punishing me again? Because I swear I was being good.”

“No, I…” Laura looked around them, briefly wondered if it was completely irrational to imagine them being in a horror movie, decided that it was, and returned her attention to Carmilla. “Sorry, I thought I heard something.”

“Cutie? It’s a forest. There’s plenty of stuff out here that goes a’rustling.”

“A’rustling?”

“What?”

“Nothing, you just sound like a Christmas song.”

Carmilla’s face twisted, although she couldn’t hide the smile in her eyes. “Shut up, _you_ sound like a Christmas song.”

“Good comeback,” Laura teased her. Carmilla grumbled as she pulled Laura in by her waist and instead of trying to respond just kissed her instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	14. The Bracelet

Carmilla relaxed into the pillow as she read The Rebel by the fire in the Shrieking Shack. Laura and Perry were getting things ready for the Halloween feast and Kirsch had mentioned some Zeta whatever thing that Carmilla had tuned out. He still stank of Thestrals and the sky and it set Carmilla’s teeth on edge. The smell of the fire and the well worn pages of her father's book had soothed her, and that was part of the reason that she’d forgoed helping Laura and Perry with prep work. Well, that, and she didn’t want to.

“Hey Kitty.”

Carmilla looked up to see Will leaning against the wall by the front door. He cocked his head. “That nickname has so much more meaning now.”

“Mummy’s boy,” she greeted him as casually as she could but she drew her father’s book into her chest automatically, grip tightening on the cover.

“It’s been far too long, how have you been?” he asked with no interest in his voice. Instead, he seemed utterly bored by the whole thing, examining his nails.

"Better since you were gone," Carmilla replied.

"Oh Carmilla," he clutched his chest, "You wound me."

Carmilla rolled her eyes heavily. “God, are you going to bore me to death or tell me what your mother wants?”

His lips curled into a smirk. “Well at least you aren’t completely thick.”

Carmilla stuck up her middle finger at him but that only made his smirk widen. He launched himself off the wall, taking lazy, long strides towards Carmilla.

“Mother wants to talk to you about a certain stone.”

“Well, why doesn’t she come herself?” Carmilla sneered at him. “I don’t talk to lackeys.”

He bared his teeth at her. “You always did have a smart mouth, Kitty.”

“What are you going to do, ‘teach me a lesson’?”

He stepped in closer, face hardening. “If I must.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and pulled herself onto her feet. “God, you are such a loser, William.”

Will offered her a tight smile, as if amusing her, and then whipped his wand out and threw a stunning spell at her in one smooth motion. Her hand, which had been on her wand this whole time, flicked a shield up but it was a fraction too late, letting the stunning spell throw her back to the wall. Her head hit the wood hard and then-

\---

Laura was enchanting the inside of the punch bowl with the silhouettes of skeletons when the bracelet that Perry had given her last year, the one that she wore more as a tribute to their friendship than anything else, started to glow fiery orange. It didn't burn, it just glowed so bright that it was impossible to ignore.

Laura immediately looked over to where Perry was levitating some pumpkins, her heart jumping into her throat.

 _LaFontaine_.

Then, a moment later, Carmilla's words came back to her. (“If my step mother comes here, I use the bracelet to tell her and she rallies the troops.”)

Oh God. It felt like Laura's veins froze. Was this Carmilla rallying the troops? Was her step mother back? Or was it LaFontaine at the Ministry? Or was it both?

Were they both in trouble?

Across the room Perry had a matching look of cold fear and Laura forced her legs to move towards her, trying to walk through the numb feeling, but it felt like she was just floating along. The bracelet's glow was starting to fade now, returning to the normal gold, but the skin where it sat on her wrist felt ice cold. Everything felt ice cold. Oh God. Oh _God_.

When Laura finally reached Perry (a lifetime, it felt like a lifetime) she reached out and grasped Perry's wrist. It felt like she needed it, needed the anchor because she was moments away from falling to her knees. Perry's face was blank, so blank, far blanker than Laura had ever seen before and it scared Laura even more than the bracelet did.

\---

“You don't understand, sir.”

Danny was keeping stride with Head Auror Pullen as they walked down the hallway, although she was walking faster than what she'd call comfortable. She didn't usually struggle to keep up with anyone, but Pullen was a solid head taller than her and he didn't seem to be in the mood to slow his pace. It was the night before the Wand Registry and the Ministry was in chaos as the employees were trying to sort everything out for the start of the registration process tomorrow and the Atrium was a mess of furious protestors.

“I understand perfectly, Lawrence. You and your friends have a magical system of contacting each other and it has been activated.” He pushed open the door of the MLE department and gestured her through before walking through himself. “You believe this means someone is in trouble. _I_ believe that your friends are a group of teenagers, and without any word or concrete evidence, I can't just give up one of my aurors, trainee or not, and I certainly can't send a team.”

When the bracelet had first signalled her she had thought of LaF in the Atrium with all the protestors, but she had checked with one of the other trainees and they were fine. That left her with a far more frightening alternative.

They walked towards the elevator and Danny weighed up her options for a moment before taking Pullen by the elbow and pulling him to the side, away from the people rushing back and forth down the hallway, to somewhere where they had more privacy. He looked surprised by her forwardness, and Danny took that as a better option to him being furious.

“Sir, I believe it was Carmilla Karnstein. She did mention that she'd be using the bracelet if her step mother turned up.”

“You're friends with Carmilla Karnstein?” Pullen asked, his blue eyes narrowing as he seemed to re-evaluate his image of Danny.

“Well... I wouldn't say, like, close friends but-” _So not important, Lawrence_ , she thought and buried her disclaimer under a formal nod. “Yes, sir.”

“I see.” He looked over to the side, face turning so that she could see his scar clearly, the gash looked deeper in the fluorescent lights. He turned his attention back to Danny and she quickly flicked her eyes back up to his (her face reddened as she saw a flicker of recognition on his face – he'd seen her stare). “You'll take Kartell, MacArthur and one of our healers. We can't afford to let anymore go, just in case this is a false alarm.”

Danny relaxed at the aurors he was sending her with. Elsie Kartell was one of the few that had worked closely with the ex-head of the MLE and hadn't quit or gone insane, and Danny trusted Jill implicitly.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Be safe, Lawrence. Remember-”

“To protect justice,” she finished the auror office motto for him. It had been hammered into the trainees' heads as soon as they arrived, it wrapped up each morning meeting, and it was known as their last words before going on missions.

He cocked his head and something that could have been the smallest of smiles crept onto his face.

Danny simply nodded formally in return, ignoring the sliver of pride that crept into the back of her mind that she was the one to say it. “I will sir, thank you.”

\---

The Minister of Magic rose from his chair, his face pulling into a hard scowl. Jasper Pullen simply looked back at him calmly, not seeming at all bothered that one of the most politically powerful wizards looked ready to jump across the desk at him.

“I hope you have a good reason for sending that team out, Pullen. You know what you're risking by doing this on the eve of the Registry.”

“You chose to make me head of the Magical Law Enforcement department because you needed stability, to give people a sense of security, did you not?”

The Minister's eyes narrowed. “I did.”

“And when I refused to leave the aurors, you let me keep both positions because you knew I was the best for the job.”

The Minister's mouth twitched. “Yes.”

“And so far, I've done both jobs satisfactorily have I not?”

“You have.”

“Minister.” Jasper Pullen stood, smoothing his worn coat with both hands. “Everything that I do, I do for the good of the Ministry and for the security of the people. As you do.”

The unspoken reference to the Registry had the Minister sitting back in his chair, eyes dropping down to the beautifully crafted desk that he had gotten handmade in his first week of office. His right hand clutched at the chair arm, while his left went to his face, his thumb stroking along his jaw.

Jasper Pullen remained standing in front of the Minister for a moment longer to ensure that there was nothing else to be said between them, before he buttoned his coat at the waist and walked out.

The Minister's eyes went over to the handheld Venator device on his desk. Gensor had brought it up to him in the morning in preparation for tomorrow's Registry and he had yet to move it from the spot she'd left it.

He sighed heavily, stood and went over to the Pensieve he had installed in the alcove behind his desk. He put his wand to his temple, drawing out a memory strand and letting it mix in with the rest in the Pensieve. The words of his father flashed forward in his mind (“How do you want to be remembered?”) and he went over to pour himself a Firewhiskey from his personal stock. The way that it burned did little to settle his mind, but it freed the vice grip on his chest by a fraction.

\---

Jill practically skipped as they used the auror's back exit out of the Ministry and emerged at street level. “I don't know how you got us out of guard duty, but I could kiss you.” She paused and then reassured her fiance, who also happened to be their resident healer, “But I won't.”

Raph held up his hands. “Hey, I'm with you. I say we both kiss her.”

“Maybe we should hold off on the kissing until we finish the mission,” Elsie pointed out. In all the times that Danny had come into contact with the auror, she'd never seen her so serious before, but considering what the mission was that wasn't a surprise.

An owl made its way to them, delivering a letter to Elsie, who gave it a pat in return. She opened it up and nodded. “McGonagall's given us clearance to apparate in.”

They all performed their pre-mission checks, Danny checking her wand and belt potions for the tenth time since they'd been cleared to go, and once they were all sure and ready they said, “To protect justice,” and disapparated together.

After a quick, and characteristically unpleasant, trip they were in the entrance hall of Hogwarts.

“Danny!” No sooner had she gotten her bearings, was a small person wrapped around her, squeezing her so tightly that her barely recovered breath was knocked out of her lungs.

“Hey Laura,” she wheezed.

“Danny.” Laura let go enough to look up at her, eyes wide and shining and so, so scared. “I don't know where she is. She was-” Laura looked back at the Headmistress. “She wasn't where she usually is.” Danny could tell that wherever Carmilla had been she wasn't meant to be there, but that didn't really narrow it down. Laura knew that Danny would need more information to go off so she added, “The place where we danced.”

Ah. Danny looked at the others, Perry was standing behind Laura with an anxious expression on her face and Kirsch looked like he was torn. Danny didn't know if she wanted to comfort him, yell at him, or just say hi to him, but with Laura clinging to her looking up at her like she was going to fix everything, she really couldn't be thinking about Kirsch right now.

Professor McGonagall and Elsie were talking quickly and quietly off to the side and the Professor nodded, moving back in the direction of the Great Hall. Elsie walked back over to them, her gait determined and steps heavy.

“They're going to make sure all the students are safe. Where are we going?”

Danny looked at her friends; they all looked so scared and so desperate for something to believe in and she knew that she had to be that thing. Trainee or not, she was an auror, which meant she had to be what people believed in.

“Last place she was at was the Shrieking Shack.”

Elsie shook her head slightly, the barest ghost of a smile on her face. “Of course she was.” She brought herself out of it quickly and gestured them in the direction. “Well, shall we?”

\---

Carmilla groaned and put a hand to her forehead as she sat up. It felt like her brain had grown twice the size and was now pounding a hard rhythm against her skull. It felt like a hangover, except instead of just sitting at the front of her head, it was enveloping her whole head and making everything around her throb painfully.

“I am sorry about the use of force, dear. I'm afraid William isn't quite an observer of compromise.”

Her stomach clenched nauseously as she heard that voice. _Her_ voice.

She blinked her eyes several times as she tried to focus in the dim lighting of wherever she was. She could hear the dripping of something far away, the drips echoing against the walls of what sounded like a cavernous space. She still couldn't manage to focus her eyes, everything was blurred and dim and made from a mess of dark colours.

Then, slowly, things started to take shape and she saw her step mother standing before her with somehow immaculately pulled back hair and a perfectly clean suit.

“Good evening dear. How nice to see you again.”

Carmilla's stomach turned, suddenly and violently, and she threw up on the ground in front of her.

Her step mother's lip curled. “Now, is that any way to greet your step mother?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	15. The Cave

Carmilla's step mother cleaned the floor with a flick of her wand, something that surprised Carmilla in how grateful it made her. The stench of damp was still thick in the air and her surroundings started to come into stronger focus. They were in a cave, behind her step mother was a fire that glowed a bright blue, and as far as Carmilla could tell there was nothing holding her here.

But, of course, that would be too easy. She'd fallen for too many of her step mother's mind games to believe that things were as simple as they appeared.

She was having trouble breathing properly but she ignored it, trying to keep as alert as she possibly could in order to figure out her next step.

“How has school been?” the ex-Headmistress asked, as if they weren't currently in a cave and Carmilla wasn't fighting to take a complete breath in.

“Like you care.” The moment the words were out of her mouth (stupid words, words that she only said because she'd been spending far too much time around Laura and the Scooby gang, and for the smallest of moments she had forgotten who she was talking to) she winced and recoiled, bracing herself for the strike.

It didn't come.

Instead, her step mother regarded her with a vaguely amused expression.

“I see that Hollis girl has done nothing for your manners, dear.”

Something flashed through her body, coiling tight around her heart and squeezing painfully. How much did she know about Laura? Would she hurt Laura? Carmilla itched to charge forward, to lunge at her. Her hand automatically went to her pocket for her wand, but it was gone. Her step mother noticed the movement and looked behind her pointedly to where, on top of a stack of firewood, was her wand. This time Carmilla's instincts overrode everything and she dove forward, only to be knocked back by what felt like a solid wall.

Her head echoed the hit again and again, and when she finally felt like her skull had stopped splitting open her step mother was tutting her. “Come now, you won't be needing that. It's almost like you don't trust me, Carmilla.”

Carmilla looked up and her step mother's face was just as neutral as it always was. She swore she could taste blood in her mouth.

\---

Carmilla took in several quick breaths, filling her lungs as much as she could, as if she was about to go on a deep dive underwater. Then she knocked on the heavy wooden door that led to her step mother’s bedroom.

“Come in.”

While Carmilla hadn’t been the biggest fan of her new step family she had noticed the change in her after her father’s death. She was cold, hard, absent in a way that she had never been before. She certainly hadn’t been _warm_ before, but she hadn’t been icy.

Carmilla entered the room and looked around. The door opened into a small atrium area that led to the main bedroom area, it was massive and empty of any personal belongings. The bed was huge, covered in elegantly detailed sheets and perfectly arranged decorative cushions. The ceiling was ridiculously high and a heavy iron chandelier reached down from it, hanging a metre above Carmilla’s head. A flame hovered over each candle holder in the chandelier, devoid of a candle, and it was perhaps the most interesting part of the otherwise sparse room. It almost felt like a guest room, with no hint of personality imposed on any of the surfaces.

Her step mother was sitting at a dresser, using the three mirrors in front of her to watch Carmilla closely. “Can I help you, dear?”

Carmilla tore her eyes from the chandelier – magic still held her in awe – and as she made eye contact with her step mother something inside her froze. “I was wondering- I, uh.” She’d practiced what she said over and over before she came, she had it completely memorised from the words to the facial expressions to the gestures she’d make. She called upon her rehearsals and dropped her eyes to the ground as she said in a run-on sentence, “I was wondering if I could get my books from the old house please?”

She didn’t look back up at her step mother until she was finished with the sentence, and she was slightly proud of herself for making it through, but the expression she found herself facing made the fear spike back up again.

Her step mother was regarding her coldly. “Why?”

Carmilla blinked. Out of all the questions that she thought she’d be asked ‘why’ had never entered her mind. “They’re books!” she blurted and then calmed her tone and corrected herself while staring at the floor, “They’re my books. I-I just really love them and I would really like to get them back.” She looked back up and added hastily, “Please.”

The silence dragged on as her step mother stared at her through the mirror and Carmilla’s heart thumped in her throat in anticipation. The tension in the room started to force every argument she’d prepared out of her mouth in one, unordered stream. “I could go in on my own, if you don’t want to. I know it might be hard, with my dad. But it’ll only take ten minutes, I just want to-”

“No.”

A loud buzzing started in Carmilla’s ears, it felt like it came from somewhere in the back of her mind. _No_ , echoed again and again. _No. No._ “No?” She’d expected hesitance, concern, dissuasion, but she hadn’t been expecting a hard ‘no’. “Why not?”

Her step mother whipped around on her chair quickly, so quickly that Carmilla flinched but instead of shrinking away like her instincts told her to do she puffed herself out, meeting the feeling of fear and pushing back against it. Her step mother’s face hardened, eyes going so dark that Carmilla had to fight to hold her ground, clenching her fists and her jaw and every other part of her.

Her step mother stood, the silk gown she was wearing trailed off the chair and fell against her body, and for some reason the softness of the material stuck in Carmilla’s mind. She stepped towards Carmilla, sure and steady but somehow so, so fast. Carmilla stayed firm, but it was out of fear not courage. The buzzing in her ears grew louder.

“Are you talking back to me?” Her voice was steady but oh so dangerous, her face a blank mask.

“My books,” Carmilla said weakly. She didn’t know why she said it; it had barely been above a whisper and for a moment she hoped that her step mother hadn’t heard her. But she had.

Her hand whipped out, so quick that Carmilla didn’t even realise what happened until she felt the searing heat across her cheek. Even though it hurt and thrust her into a heavy dose of shock she didn’t make a sound, just held her hand to her cheek and stared up at her step mother who was breathing hard and now had a strand of hair out of place, dangling in front of her face.

They were both completely still, as if part of some awful tableau. Then her step mother’s expression fractured, just slightly, and she dropped her hand. Carmilla felt like she could taste blood in her mouth.

“Don’t talk back to me ever again,” her step mother said, but her voice was far softer than it had been so far. It almost sounded like an apology, and Carmilla was desperate to take it as one.

“I won’t.” _My books, my dad, my house._ “I’m sorry.”

Her step mother nodded and moved away from her, back to the dresser, and took a seat. This time she did not meet Carmilla’s eyes in the mirror.

Later on in her private bathroom Carmilla felt around in her mouth, trying to find the source of the blood taste, but her saliva was clear. The taste didn’t leave her mouth until the next morning.

\---

“I must admit, I was surprised by you being an Animagus. Impressed, actually.” Her step mother seemed undisturbed by her collision with the magical barrier, her voice still light and conversational. Carmilla didn’t trust it, and her distrust was making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Her step mother picked at a spot on her suit (how was she even wearing a suit while on the run, and how did it still look so _Goddamn_ immaculate?). “I always saw becoming an Animagus as a waste of time, but I can respect the skill you show in being an underage Animagus.”

“Thanks,” Carmilla replied through gritted teeth. Her step mother offered her a tight smile, the smile of someone who wasn’t used to smiling.

“Did you teach yourself?” she asked. Carmilla fought the urge to try and run, to deflect, to change and escape.

Instead, she nodded. Even that felt like too much. She’d spent so much of her life hiding things from her step mother that revealing anything, even this small amount of information, felt like far too much.

She focused on her breathing, concentrating completely on the feeling of her lungs expanding and contracting.

\---

Carmilla took a long breath. Around her insects buzzed and the heat of summer sat thickly in the night air. It was the last week of summer, a long summer that she'd spent reading, practicing and psyching herself up for this moment. She was in the thickest part of the trees on the far end of the Dean family's land, a place that Will hadn't found yet and the only place she felt comfortable. The smell of the wood felt like it opened her lungs up, unwinding her and clearing her mind.

She was sitting cross-legged on a large rock – her rock – and she rolled her neck and let her hands fall to her knees.

She flexed her fingers and let her consciousness explore every inch of her body, running through her bones, organs, muscles, skin until she was perfectly aware of every part of her body and felt in sync with herself.

She took a long, slow breath in and as she let it out she felt herself shift, starting with a prickling on the back of her neck, then her back felt like it was expanding outwards, skin alive with  _something_. She was still present in herself, completely herself, but she was changing. The air around her was thicker, heavier, and she could feel her body pushing against it. She was shaking, no not shaking,  _vibrating_. Her body was moving fast, so fast that she struggled to keep herself in it, but she managed to with one last, hard, desperate push and then-

Then it was over.

Her hands weren't on her knees anymore, they were on the rock. Her crossed legs were now folded against either side of her body. She flexed her fingers and- no, they were paws now. She opened her eyes and the forest around her radiated light, but not light, just... everything was oddly visible, although the colours had been dulled. She took a breath in and the smell of the wood was even stronger now, which made the back of her throat rumble. She brought her paw closer to her face and experimented with it, causing claws to extend.

 _I'm a fucking cat._ Carmilla stared at the claws and retracted them back into her paw, resisting the urge to lick the side of it and run it down her head. She looked down and realised how big her paws looked on the rock and corrected herself,  _A huge cat._

She leapt off the rock and landed effortlessly on her feet. She stretched forward with her front paws, digging her claws into the ground and stretching her spine as long as possible before pulling in close and arching her back.

 _God that felt good, no wonder those fleabags always do this_. She was not a fan of cats. Lestat was an exception, he was surprisingly chill for a cat and didn't do much other than sleep – something she could relate to – but on the whole she thought they were just incredibly full of themselves. So what did it say that her animagus was a cat?

Whatever.

The first thing that had given her the Animagus idea was a diary of a previous Hogwarts student that she'd found in the Shrieking Shack at the beginning of the school year. Even though he sounded kind of whiny and needy, she’d been drawn in when he’d started talking about how he and his friends were trying to become Animagi. He had struggled with it while both his friends had taken to it easily, and his extremely detailed account of his attempts had been of great help (even if she’d had to skip over several ridiculously long entries that he’d spend hero worshipping his friends).

When he’d finally managed to fully transform he’d assumed the form of a rat. (So it could be far worse, Carmilla supposed as she kneaded the pads of her paws into the ground.) He'd described the first transformation as exhilarating, the way a whole other world had been opened up, and Carmilla was inclined to agree.

She looked around her at the familiar trees and everything was the same, but also very, very different. Suddenly she really wanted to climb the trees, not only that, but she felt like she could. She could feel every muscle in her body, the tendons and ligaments, and how powerful they were. She went up to the closest tree and experimentally stood on her back legs, putting her front paws on the trunk. She extended her claws and tugged lightly on them, feeling them dig into the wood and stick. She tugged a little harder and they started to gouge into the wood, dragging down, and she felt the rumbling start in the back of her throat again.

She was halfway through dragging her claws down the trunk for a third time before she realised what she was doing. She glanced around herself sheepishly, as if someone else would be there to catch her doing it, but of course no one else was there. She refocused herself on the tree and sat down on the ground before taking a large leap up, pushing hard with her back legs, and catching herself on the trunk with her claws before jumping up and up and up until she reached one of the uppermost branches that looked thick enough to support her. She leapt backwards off the trunk, grabbing onto the branch and pulling herself up onto it.

Fine. So this cat thing wasn’t too bad. She settled onto the branch and took a look at the trees around her. Everything looked like a playground to her now, jumps that she knew she could make, things she could dig her claws into, and – her ears perked and twitched as she heard the sound of rustling on the ground below – things she could hunt.

Not to eat, because gross, but still the chase would be fun.

Her tail flicked against the branch and she blinked slowly as she looked around her. For the first time in forever, she felt…  Free.

\---

“Your father would be proud of you.”

The comment came out of nowhere and it felt like a slap in the face. No, a slap in the face would be preferable. This comment reached right through into her centre and gave a hard yank, making her feel like her insides would unspool.

Did her step mother know what she’d done? She had to know what she’d done. She was smiling at her, but it didn’t feel like a real smile. Carmilla had been trying to centre herself but now she felt like she was a million miles away from her body and she couldn’t even scramble to get back.

“He loved you very much.” And God, her voice sounded soft and sad, and this was everything Carmilla had wanted to hear when she was ten years old, but now it was- it was- oh _God_.

“You know how you can see him again.”

And there it was. _Of course_ there it was. _Of course_ this was some manipulative ploy. She was suddenly right back in her body again, because it made sense, so much sense. A shadow of an ache wrapped around her heart but she ignored it as she felt the familiar pushing out, out, out.

“Where is the Resurrection Stone?”

The cave became sharper, colours duller, her skin rippling in prickles, and everything vibrated and shifted and then-

Her step mother gave her with a disappointed look. “Very well. I’ll leave you to think things over, but when I return we’re continuing this conversation.”

Carmilla growled in response, the rumbling of her larger Animagus voice box filled the cave and had the edge of a roar. Her step mother didn’t react to that as she left and a few moments later Will walked in. He blinked at the sight of the large panther that was now standing in the cave, pacing back and forth behind the magical barrier.

He walked up closer to the barrier, staring at Carmilla with naked curiosity. The growl that was rumbling low in her throat grew as she bared her fangs at him. He gave a short laugh, smirking at her (but she could see the fear, she could taste it in the air). She launched forward, swinging her paw out at him and even though the barrier stopped it, it was definitely worth it for the terrified yelp that Will gave as he fell onto his ass and scrambled backwards.

Carmilla started to laugh so hard that she fell onto the floor, paws cycling through the air as she did. Her laughs were coming out as weird meowing sounds but she didn’t even care. She would definitely be treasuring that memory for the rest of her life.

Will’s fear was replaced by fury in a second and he drew his wand, pointing it at her and making sure she was looking at him while he spread his lips into a wide malicious smile.

“Crucio.”

Carmilla’s whole body was suddenly wracked with more pain that she’d ever felt in her life. It didn’t start or end anywhere, it was all over, everything was on fire and freezing at the same time. It felt like the muscle was tearing itself from her bone, while her bones were breaking, and her skin was turning inside out on itself. She writhed on the floor, trying to find some sort of escape from the pain, but she couldn’t, it was _everywhere_.

There was nothing but pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. She looked up and realised that she had moved so much that she was now at Will’s feet, and even as she looked up at him she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it because everything felt broken and breaking and broken again.

_“William!”_

The pain suddenly stopped, so suddenly that it took the breath straight out of Carmilla’s lungs.

Her step mother was standing in the entrance of the cave, glowering with more anger than Carmilla had ever seen her have. She said coldly, “How _dare_ you.”

His eyes were downcast as he replied, “I'm sorry, mother.”

Carmilla was still trembling from the pain but she realised that he must have taken down the barrier because she was now in the central part of the cave. She pushed aside the agony that was still laced through her muscles and bones and organs, and forced herself onto her feet. Without taking a moment to gather herself, she leaped forward to pounce on her step mother. It was clumsy, she missed her shoulders and instead ended up head butting her hard on the chest but it did the job as her step mother fell back, hit her head on the cave wall and crumpled to the floor.

Once she was down, Carmilla let out a huff, pushing out as much pain as she could, before turning to Will. She hissed at him and his eyes widened in fear at being confronted by a non-captive Carmilla.

He shakily raised his wand. “Don’t make me hurt you.”

She roared and leaped forward, taking a vicious swing and dragging her claws against his face. She could feel them cut through his flesh, like scissors through tissue paper, and blood splattered over the wall of the cave. He fell to the floor, screaming in pain. She stood over him, panting and growling.

He started to cry, ugly and loud. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry.”

She stared down at him and she could see the fast pulse thumping in his neck, bulging against his skin, and the scent of blood in the air made a sticky want fill the back of her throat.

One swipe of her paw and he'd be dead.  _One swipe_.

“Carmilla?”

That voice. Her voice. It couldn’t be… Carmilla turned and standing there in the entrance was Laura.

 _Laura_.

Everything was shifting, and she was standing and walking towards her, human again, and Laura was holding her and _God_ she was so tired and LauraLaura _Laura_.

Carmilla didn’t notice the aurors as they moved past her to arrest Ms Dean and a begging Will (their healer chose to ignore the facial laceration from Carmilla’s claws). Danny grabbed Carmilla’s wand and handed it to Laura, who was gently rocking Carmilla as she sobbed into her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	16. The Visit

One week had passed since Carmilla had been taken by Will and her step mother. She hadn’t talked to anyone about it, not even Laura, and no one felt like they could ask what had happened. Instead, she started skipping class, sleeping outside of the castle, and not telling anyone where she was going.

Laura, Perry and Kirsch had all started to rely strongly on each other, each of them pining after their person, and wanting to talk about it at length but at the same time not mention it at all. They all threw themselves into their respective passions with fervour, Laura with the newspaper; Perry with studying; and Kirsch with training maniacally for the upcoming Slytherin game.

The brief moment of sharing the same space as Danny without actually getting to speak to her had left Kirsch in a bit of a tailspin, although he tried his best to hide it from everyone. Instead of talking about it he’d started working on a whole new range of Quidditch plays, most of which involved him doing almost impossible things on the pitch.

Laura was hurt at being shut out by Carmilla, but at the same time she was doing her best to be patient and understanding. But that didn’t do much to negate hurt. Instead of thinking about how selfish she was being, she started to go into fifth gear with the newspaper. Now that Bea had been convinced to join the cause, she had suddenly become very passionate about it and they’d spend their History of Magic classes passing notes back and forth making plans for what they could do with the next issue.

Perry had read all of her textbooks so many times over that she now knew most passages word for word, and yet she still read them again and again. It stopped her from reading the newspaper (Laura had started reading her paper in her dorm room, away from Perry).

News about the Wand Registry was vague, the capture of Ms Dean had pushed it from the front page and the Daily Prophet was now reporting that the registration process was far less negative than the protestors envisioned. The protestors were still present at the Ministry, but by all reports they had dwindled in numbers and now just seemed to be a group of stubborn, backwards thinkers who were selfishly causing a hassle for the public rather than champions for wizard rights. There still hadn’t been any news from LaFontaine, although Danny had reassured them that she would make sure they would be alright.

Laura left her last Friday class and looked around the hallway for Carmilla, who would usually meet her and walk with her to dinner. Like the rest of the week, Carmilla was nowhere to be seen, and Laura’s heart broke a fraction more.

Across the school grounds, just outside the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade, a large black panther lay in the shadows and watched the night with alert eyes. A tall redhead apparated with a pop and she looked around in confusion until the panther slowly stood and loped over to her.

“Seriously? I’m not taking you in as a panther.”

The panther yowled in displeasure and took a lazy swipe at her, claws retracted so it was little more than a gentle shove, before it transformed into a girl – Carmilla.

“How long do you spend in Animagus form?” Danny asked carefully.

“It’s simpler.”

Carmilla didn’t give any more of an answer and Danny didn’t ask for one, just offering her hand. Carmilla regarded it with a raised eyebrow. “What happened to buying a girl dinner first?”

Danny sighed impatiently and shoved her hand closer to Carmilla, who cracked a hint of a smirk from of the corner of her mouth and took her elbow. Danny rolled her eyes at the fact that even in the simplest of things Carmilla could find a way to annoy her. Given what they were doing Danny was trying her best to grant Carmilla as much kindness as she could, but this girl was an expert at testing her patience.

Danny supposed that Carmilla knew that she was trying to be as nice as possible, and in return she was doing her best to drive her crazy. Ugh. She couldn’t believe that she had thought she’d missed Carmilla, even for a moment.

She disapparated and they arrived in a room. It reminded Carmilla of the Department of Mysteries with shining black tiles along the floor, walls and ceiling and glowing blue lamps that lined the walls. It was a large room, large enough that you could comfortably fit a thousand people in it, and the only thing in the room was a desk (covered in the same black tiles) down the far end.

“You couldn’t have apparated closer?” Carmilla asked, but her tone didn’t match her words. Danny didn’t say anything, just moving towards the desk and Carmilla followed half a step behind. Their steps echoed around them, bouncing off the walls and multiplying in volume.

A woman sat behind the desk, she looked like she was in her twenties and was quite pretty and pleasant looking, smiling at them as they approached.

“Trainee Auror Lawrence, Miss Karnstein,” she greeted them once they reached the desk. Danny offered her a polite smile while Carmilla looked her up and down, trying to figure out what had made her take this position up. She certainly wasn’t what Carmilla had been expecting.

“We’re here to see the prisoner.”

“Of course! I just need you to fill out some paperwork, Trainee Auror Lawrence.” Her attention turned to Carmilla. “If you could take a seat Miss Karnstein.” She gestured over to the wall, where the tiles on the wall pushed out to form a chair made out of the tiles, as if the wall had always protruded like that. Carmilla stood there, looking between Danny and the woman for another moment before sighing loudly and going over to the so-called chair.

From this distance she couldn’t hear what Danny and the woman were saying, although she doubted it would be very interesting. She was kicking her feet back and forth as loudly and disruptively as she could and she succeeded in drawing a glare from Danny. Carmilla grinned and continued to kick, with even more purpose, but Danny focused on ignoring her from then on.

There was a pop at the other end of the room (apparently everyone apparated as inconveniently as they had) and two men (they looked like security officers, although their uniforms were different than the usual Ministry ones) appeared with a much smaller person in between them who had a black bag over their head. They walked briskly to the front of the room, the person in between them awkwardly shuffling, until they reached the desk. They stopped in front of the desk and without looking over at them the woman waved them through and part of the wall behind her slid open.

For some reason in the moment while they were stopped in front of Carmilla, she couldn’t help but look at their shoes. The person who had been black-bagged was wearing a pair of Converse sneakers - one red and one green. Carmilla frowned and noticed that on their wrists they were wearing a collection of different, brightly coloured rubber bracelets that looked just like the ones she had collected when she was nine years old.

Then the three off them walked through the newly created doorway and the wall slid back into place.

Unease settled in her chest, overriding the previous nervous mischievous energy, and she filed away what she had just seen.

Danny had finally finished with the paperwork and she walked over to Carmilla looking a little worse for wear. “Are you ready?”

Carmilla craned her neck to look up at her. “And rearing,” she replied sarcastically, but the tone of her voice didn’t help the lump in her throat disappear.

The wall behind the desk slid open, same as before, but there was no sign of the three that had previously entered. Carmilla hesitated, the rush of cool air that was coming through the doorway was adding to her unease.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Danny asked, sensing her reluctance.

Carmilla stopped staring down the seemingly never ending hallway, looking to Danny. Part of her screamed ‘no’, while the other part wanted to yell at Danny for even asking. Instead, she settled on stepped forward, into the hallway and forcing herself to ignore the prickling feeling on the back of her neck and the urge to run in the opposite direction.

She looked back at Danny, who was still at the mouth of the hallway. “Are you coming?”

Once they were both in the hallway the wall slid shut behind them and they both pretended not to notice the other person jumping.

“Where to, Xena?” Carmilla asked as she subtly tried to bring her jacket tighter around herself.

Danny held up her hand, where she was holding a small orb. It started to glow a gentle, pearly white and hovered above her hand, moving forward about half a metre in front of them. It stayed there, waiting for them, and Danny gestured towards it with her head.

Carmilla let out a breath and stuffed her hands into her pockets as she moved forward, following the orb as it started to lead them through the hallway, which looked exactly the same and branched off into multiple identical hallways. The orb would take a turn every now and again, eventually Carmilla had completely lost her bearings and couldn’t have found her way back even if she tried, and after a solid fifteen minutes of walking it finally stopped next to a section of the wall.

It waited for them both to stand in front of the wall and then the wall slid open to reveal a smaller room. They both stood there until Danny looked over at her.

“You coming in?” Carmilla asked, voice kept as stable as she could manage.

“No. Unless, you want me to?”

“I’ll call for you if I need someone to hold my hand.” Carmilla strode into the room as confidently as she could. The wall – of course – slid shut behind her and the orb that she’d followed in grew in brightness, bathing the room in light.

At the centre of the room, sitting cross legged and with her arms chained to the walls on either side of her, was her step mother. The chains were made from thick, heavy links and had enough slack that they'd allow her to move around the room with a fair degree of freedom, but Carmilla doubted that she'd take much advantage of that. Instead of wearing her usual pantsuit, she was dressed in white linen long pants and a long-sleeved plain cotton shirt that was shapeless yet looked comfortable. Her hair was no longer in a bun, it now hung around her face, but it still looked maddeningly neat.

 _Prison chic, of course_ , Carmilla thought to herself. Still, the sight of her step mother in such an alien, powerless position gave her a boost of extra confidence that she carefully layered over her fear. Even if she was still scared, she wouldn’t dare let her know. And if there was anything she was good at, it was faking it.

“Carmilla, I’m glad you came.”

Carmilla watched her closely, searching for any hint of irony, and when she couldn’t find it she replied dryly, “Trip to Azkaban was just how I wanted to spend my Friday night.” If she could pat herself on the back right now she totally would, the hit landed squarely making her step mother flinch, and she couldn’t tell if it was a good burn or if her step mother was just more vulnerable than usual.

Either way it threw her, but it also empowered her. Enough that she could ask the next question with a cutting tone. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk about your father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	17. The Prison

Carmilla stared at her step mother, not sure that she'd heard her right. Her step mother returned the stare calmly, looking far too zen in her clothing, adding to the bizarreness of the whole situation.

“You want to what?”

“Talk to you about your father,” she repeated, as if it was a perfectly reasonable request.

This wasn't what she had been expecting, like at all. Out of all the situations that she'd imagined, this was definitely nowhere on the list and for a very real, very intense moment, she was completely livid.

“How dare you.”

Her step mother looked confused in return - an expression that Carmilla had never seen, nor imagined, on her before. That curbed some of her anger, but mostly it frustrated her.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I-?” Carmilla didn't know if her step mother was being purposefully thick or if she was so self-involved that she didn't understand how horrible of a question this was, but her anger wasn't letting her have any subtlety when she replied, “You  _killed_  him and now you 'want to talk'?”

“Is that what you think?” she asked and she almost looked  _hurt_ , which was just weird. “You think I killed your father?”

“Didn't you?” Carmilla asked, and she hated that there was even a hint of doubt in her voice. She did, she did kill him, there was no question.

“ _No_ ,” her step mother said insistently. Her face, usually blank and neutral, was now overflowing with emotion, her eyes begging Carmilla to listen, as if Carmilla's belief was the most important thing in the world to her. “I loved your father, Carmilla.”

Carmilla felt the world begin to shift and she was deeply uncomfortable with where things were going. “But the accident, the weather, the other car-”

“My mother killed your father. She despised that I had married a non-magical and she wanted me to return to the family.”

“Your- your-”

Oh God, she had to sit down. She turned away from her step mother, not wanting to show her reaction, and placed a hand on the cool tile of the wall. She sucked in a breath – one, two – and closed her eyes. Her father's face appeared on her eyelids and she let it stay there for a moment as she breathed out – one, two. After three more breaths she opened her eyes again and stared at the black tiles in front of her.

“Are you alright, Carmilla?”

Carmilla barked a laugh and turned to face her step mother, who looked surprised (she was uncovering a whole range of new expressions today). Her step mother seemed to realise the silliness of her question and she almost looked sheepish for a moment. “I am sorry.”

The apology made Carmilla angrier for some reason, more distrustful. Whoever this woman was, she wasn't her step mother. This woman, this apologetic, soft woman was not her step mother. This was another ploy, an attempt at escape, a ruse, something.

“Why should I trust anything you say?”

Her step mother didn't reply to that verbally, her shoulder sagging as she stared at the ground in front of her. The spot she was staring at had one tile, larger than all the others, and this lowered into blackness, and a moment later a platform started rising higher and higher until it was at head height for her step mother in a seated position. On top of the platform was a Pensieve, full to the brim with memories.

Carmilla frowned and took a step forward, out of curiosity more than anything else.

Before she could ask her step mother answered, “It's part of my punishment. Reliving my crimes. My worst memories and regrets have been put in this and every day I have to go through all of them.”

Carmilla looked down at the swirling mist in the Pensieve and wondered if she was in there.

“One of those is killing my mother after I found out-”

“Show me,” Carmilla said firmly.

Her step mother nodded and motioned towards the Pensieve. “That's where they always begin.”

Carmilla moved towards the Pensieve and kneeled in front of it, close enough that she’d be able to see into it, but far enough that she was out of her step mother’s reach. Her step mother noticed this, her step mother noticed everything, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she shifted up into a kneeling position so that she was over the Pensieve. She held Carmilla’s eye contact and it made discomfort sit as a prickly buzz in Carmilla's spine, because for once – for _once_ – it was open and patient and all the things that her step mother had never been.

(What had Azkaban done to her? What had happened? _Who was this?_ )

She waited for her step mother to lean into the Pensieve first, mirroring her movements a fraction slower as she watched her intently. Once the face of her step mother had been submerged Carmilla took in a quick breath and leaned forward completely.

When Carmilla left the Pensieve, pulling herself out of her step mother's memory, she fell back onto the ground and caught herself with her hands so that she didn’t fall completely. She breathed hard, parts of the memory flickering through her mind again and again, the hard, unempathetic look of the woman who had killed her father. The look that she had recognized as a mirror of her step mother's but with an added underlying, barely restrained revulsion.

It look a long few minutes of staring down at the floor for Carmilla to remember where she was, who she was with, and when she looked up she saw the similarities between her step mother and the woman she'd just seen in the Pensieve. But she saw the differences too.

Her step mother was looking at her with a softness, pity perhaps, but it was too hard to tell – especially given how drained Carmilla felt.

“How did you get to the crash so quickly?”

She didn’t seem hurt by the question, just sad in a quiet way. “Your father called me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Carmilla’s step mother shook her head. “After I…” she started and then shook her head. “Do you know what happens when you kill someone, Carmilla?”

Carmilla frowned slightly. All that came to mind was a sarcastic response but for once she had no interest in saying it.

“Murdering someone, murdering my mother, it broke something inside.” She let out a shaky breath, eyes closing for a moment, before she reopened them again. “I am glad you didn’t kill me, not for my sake, but for yours.”

Carmilla could feel the disbelieving, angry expression on her face and made no move to change it, her step mother wasn’t worth the effort that would take - but she kept listening.

“I still love your father. I know it might be hard to believe, I have done such terrible things, to you, to everyone, but in my mind it was all for your father.”

“Are you trying to apologise to me?” Carmilla asked, and her voice came out rough but for some reason she didn’t even care. With everything that her step mother was telling her, with the faces she was making, Carmilla felt like for the first time she had the power between them and having a rough voice wouldn’t take that away from her.

“There’s no excuse, no reason I can possibly give, I don’t wish to act like what I have done is forgivable.”

“It isn’t,” Carmilla interrupted and her step mother just nodded calmly.

“I know. But I wanted you to know…” Her step mother dropped her eyes to the floor, and Carmilla saw her swallow hard ( _Who was this?_ ). “I always felt like it was my fault for the way my mother treated me. I wanted you to know, it wasn’t your fault. How I acted, you didn’t deserve it.”

Carmilla stood suddenly and started to pace the length of the room, needing to move, needing to do something, because otherwise there was a very real chance that she’d go crazy.

Her step mother leaned forward, any hint of restraint gone as she begged Carmilla, “Please. I don’t need you to forgive me, I just need you to know that.”

“What the fuck is this? Is this some head game? You just wanted to fuck with me one last time before you rot in prison replaying all the shitty things that you’ve done?” Carmilla exploded, gesturing wildly at the Pensieve.

“No, this isn’t about me-”

“Where was all this selfless shit last year when you wanted to kill me? Where was it seven years ago after my dad died and all I needed was for you to show me some _hint_ of humanity? Where was it when you would use the _Imperius curse on me_?” Carmilla’s voice broke but she didn’t care, no she didn’t care at all because she wasn’t feeling anything except fury right now. Nothing else existed except for how fucked up this all was.

No. Her step mother didn’t get to turn around and act like a halfway decent person, not after everything, not after-

“They healed my soul,” her step mother said quietly.

“What?”

Her step mother flinched at Carmilla’s tone and looked up at her, and there were tears in her eyes. Carmilla stopped pacing, feet freezing to the spot and unable to move her gaze away from the face of her step mother – her hard, cold step mother – crying. “They healed- after I- I-” She took in a long breath and let it out shakily before finally saying, “My soul was fractured, and it broke with each thing I did, and they made it whole again.”

Carmilla’s eyes dropped to the Pensieve.

“Oh.”

She hadn’t meant to say that out loud, it had just slipped out, quiet and with a soft exhale of air.

“Carmilla, you did not deserve the way I treated you.”

“I know that,” Carmilla snapped, still staring at the Pensieve.

“Do you?” she asked gently.

Carmilla finally looked back up at her step mother and she had stopped crying but her face was still fraught with tortured emotion and it ignited Carmilla’s fury again.

“Fuck you.” Swearing at her step mother was satisfying and terrifying all at the same time. (How many times had she daydreamed of saying those words to her? More than she could count. How many times had she thought them at her as loudly as she could?) It was making her heart beat hard, hard, hard, and she felt alive in a way that she’d never felt before. “ _Fuck you_.”

Her step mother didn’t react to her swearing, didn’t get angry, didn’t flinch, just took it. The lack of reaction made Carmilla drive harder, pushing for a reaction.

“You don’t get to just have your soul ‘healed’ or whatever and then start acting like an actual human being. You don’t get to call me to your prison cell and say how I didn’t deserve the way you treated me, and how you want me to know that. You don’t get to pull this shit. You don’t-”

Carmilla ran out of words as she started to take very rapid breaths in, faster and faster until she felt like her lungs were screaming.

“Carmilla, you need to calm down.”

“Don’t.” Carmilla held a hand up towards her, and spoke between trying to suck in breaths. “Don’t. Tell me. What to do.”

She went to the far corner, as far from her step mother as possible, and crouched down, holding her palms flat on either wall as she leaned her head in the crook of the corner. She felt her breath reflect against the tiles and puff back against her skin. She forced herself to focus on the sound of her breathing and counted slowly in her head. She could do this. She was okay. She could do this.

She felt her breathing steady slowly, slowly, and when she felt like she could manage it she stood, inching her palms up the walls with her as she did. She turned back to her step mother and did her best to harden herself against the patient, sympathetic look on her face.

“What do you want from me?” she asked. (God, she felt so tired. She wasn’t even angry anymore, she was just exhausted.)

“Nothing.”

Carmilla nodded and moved back towards the wall where she’d entered the room. She paused.

Without turning around, she asked, “Do you know anything about Azkaban?”

“I helped build it.”

“Of course you did,” Carmilla muttered to herself. Then she asked, “Do you know why they’re bringing children into Azkaban?”

There was a long silence from behind her so Carmilla turned her head to look at her step mother out of her peripheral vision. Her step mother was staring down at the Pensieve, brow furrowed.

“Azkaban isn’t just a prison anymore. The MLE doesn’t have control over it.”

“So who does?”

“I don’t know.”

Carmilla stayed silent for a moment, filing another puzzle piece away, and then turning her attention to the orb that was hovering next to her.

“I’m done.”

The wall slid open and she left.

If Danny noticed Carmilla silently crying on the way back to Hogwarts she didn't mention it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	18. The Animagi

When they apparated back in Hogsmeade it was raining, not heavily, but enough to be uncomfortable. Although Danny had been politely ignoring Carmilla’s clearly emotionally vulnerable state, she couldn’t help but feel as if she should say something. Anything. But everything that came to mind was either stupid or would probably make them both want to gouge their eyes out.

Carmilla started to make her way towards the Shack silently, shoulders bowed, when Danny blurted, “Did you want to do something?”

Carmilla was facing away from her, tears flowing freely down her cheeks and she replied with a surprisingly steady voice, “We just did, Clifford.”

Danny winced. Carmilla was not going to make this easy on her (but, she supposed, tonight hadn’t been easy on Carmilla so that was fair turnaround).

“No, I mean… Something else.”

Carmilla turned to Danny, her head was tilted downwards so that her hair was hanging in front of her face. Danny didn’t know if that was to hide her tears or to shield her from the rain.

“Something fun?” Danny suggested, trying to speak as lightly as possible.

Carmilla’s head tipped up so she could look Danny square on (which felt sort of like a victory) and raised an eyebrow. “Because Azkaban wasn’t fun enough?”

Danny sighed, as if what she was about to say would come at a great price. “I learned something over the summer.”

“Do you want a medal?”

Danny rolled her eyes heavily and gestured her forward to the Shack. “Come on, let’s get out of the rain.”

Once they were inside Carmilla got a fire started in the fireplace and propped herself against the arm of the sofa and folded her arms. “So why do I care that you learned something, Xena?”

Danny glanced around the room before drawing in a deep breath and as she let it out her body became to shift, dropping down lower to the ground but also growing exponentially in size and sprouting hair all over, thick and dark, until a huge dog was standing in front of Carmilla. Its head almost came up to Carmilla’s shoulders and if it stood on its back legs it would definitely have been much taller than her. Its fur was a shaggy light grey, except for a streak of deep red that ran from between its eyes to halfway down its back.

“Oh my God.” Carmilla stared at the dog, which sat back on its hind legs and looked at Carmilla expectantly. “You found out I was an Animagus and became one yourself. You  _copycat_.”

The dog growled, snapping a bark at Carmilla, who just laughed in return. Danny continued to growl at her and Carmilla mockingly pouted at her, reaching forward to scratch Danny behind the ear.

“Aw Clifford, it’s okay, I know you look up to me.”

Danny dodged the pat and gave a snap at Carmilla’s hand, which just made her laugh again.

“So what, you want to go for a run?”

The dog glowered at her and then nodded.

Carmilla shrugged. “Yeah, okay.” She led them both back outside and transformed into her Animagus form with ease, and – she noted – quicker than Danny had managed to.

In panther form the wet dog smell oozing off Danny was absolutely repulsive and it made Carmilla scrunch her nose. It figured that Danny Lawrence would be a dog; even in Animagus form her presence was a pain in Carmilla’s ass.

Danny walked ahead of Carmilla and looked back at her expectantly. Instead of following, Carmilla started to stretch her back out, digging her claws into the wet earth and loosening up her spine. She had been itching to turn ever since Danny had taken her to Azkaban and it felt good to finally get to do it – she wasn’t going to cut it short just because some ridiculously sized dog was now rolling her eyes at her.

Carmilla kicked back her back legs and stretched those out too, settling into her body with a satisfied flick of her tail.

Danny took a seat with an impatient huff and Carmilla smirked, pushing herself into a leap and taking off in the direction of the mountains. In Animagus form Danny was still sizably larger than her so it didn’t take long for her to catch up, panting in that loud, gross dog way, and soon they were racing towards the mountain range side by side.

Danny may have been slightly faster (only because she had longer legs) but she was nowhere near as agile as Carmilla, so as they made their way up the mountain they traded the lead back and forth. Carmilla had never pushed herself this hard, she almost felt like she was at her breaking point but her stubborn competitiveness kept her going.

After what was starting to feel like a lifetime of breathing fire and screaming muscles Carmilla felt Danny slow down marginally and she tried to push herself up harder to inch in front of her and managed to for a moment before she felt her body start to give out as well. Ahead of them a large rock was blocking the path and Danny started to veer towards the right, to charge down the only free part of the path. Carmilla dragged a deep breath into her lungs and used her back legs to push herself up, leaping to the top of the rock and then launching off it to the other side, landing far ahead of Danny.

Danny let out a displeased growl and took a lazy snap at her heels, which Carmilla responded with slowing down just enough to let Danny draw even with her and then she pounced sideways at her, bowling her over and taking them both off the edge of the path and rolling down the mountain. They fell in a messy heap, scrambling against each other, until they finally landed on a plateau, slamming against the ground and being thrown apart.

Neither of them were hurt, the rain had softened the ground and they were large enough that the fall was barely more than a disorienting experience, but Danny still barked and growled angrily at Carmilla. Carmilla just yawned wide in her direction and sat up as she tried to catch her breath as subtly as possible. In return Danny moved towards her and shook herself, spraying mud in every direction. Carmilla yowled in disgust and leapt away as quickly as possible, glaring at Danny as she did. Danny just took a seat and wagged her tail, grinning at her as if she was hilarious.

Carmilla narrowed her eyes and took a running start to pounce on her (claws retracted, even though she totally didn’t deserve that). Danny yelped as she was knocked off her feet and she scrambled to try and get up again while Carmilla opened her jaw wide and put her teeth against Danny’s neck. She didn’t do much more than press her teeth there, just demonstrating that she could, and Danny shook herself free and wriggled back out of Carmilla’s grip.

Carmilla reared onto her back legs and took a swipe at Danny’s face, and Danny weathered the hit but turned her head so that she caught the side of Carmilla’s neck in her jaws.

 _Gross. Gross. Gross. Dog breath. Gross._  Carmilla twisted away from Danny, swinging a paw up to hit her across the face, which loosened her jaw and let Carmilla escape. Carmilla was on her back on the ground, Danny’s head still above her, and she batted her paws up across Danny’s face.

Danny snuffed a bark and pulled a face, moving backwards as fast as she could to escape the battering from Carmilla. Carmilla did her best to follow Danny as she tried to move away, squirming off her back onto her side and pushing herself towards Danny using her back legs while her front paws continued to swat at Danny’s head.

Danny let out a frustrated bark and ducked her head out of Carmilla’s reach and spun around, running away from Carmilla. Carmilla took off, chasing after the mutt with renewed vigour. Danny shot sharp warning barks back at Carmilla as she ran, but Carmilla ignored them as she continued to sprint after her.

After another round of scrapping (which Carmilla grudgingly conceded when Danny pinned her against a wall – in a completely not sexual way) Danny let out a quiet bark from the back of her throat and started to walk casually up the mountain.

The rain had finally stopped, giving way to a clear night sky, and even though Carmilla couldn’t see the sky clearly in panther form, she had found that she could taste it in the air. A clear night sky came in through her nose, her mouth, and filled some part inside of her that had her keening. To run, to fight, to hunt. Well, it usually did, right now she could really go for hanging off a branch and watching the nightlife of the forest.

Danny stopped in her tracks and looked back at Carmilla, gesturing with her head, and Carmilla tossed up between acting like an asshole and following her. She settled on following her, but only after she’d made her wait for a solid minute. When she finally did Danny heaved a sigh but didn’t react any further.

They were both worn out from all the sprinting and fighting that it allowed them to walk calmly side by side with a relaxed weariness, paws padding in time with each other. They reached the summit of the mountain and Danny sat down, facing the horizon where the sky was starting to lighten as the sun approached. Carmilla sat down next to her, not touching, but closer than she’d ever sit to her under normal circumstances.

Things were easier in Animagus form, simpler. In Animagus form she didn’t overthink things, she just felt her emotions in their basest forms. Right now she was too tired to feel much of anything, and it was a welcome change. For the first time in a week her mind was a purely blank slate and – as loathe as she was to admit it – she was grateful to Danny for it. (Not that she’d ever tell her that.)

Carmilla stretched herself forward and lowered herself into a lying down position, paws in front of her, as she continued to face the horizon. Danny glanced over at her and Carmilla looked back pointedly, daring her to make some stupid canine pass. She might not have the energy to do much, but she could probably try to shove her down the mountain.

Instead, Danny just huffed and followed suit, her body collapsing down in a far messier and less coordinated way that made Carmilla’s tail twitch in distaste. Danny huffed again and lay her head down on her paws, eyes open and watching the skyline. Carmilla rolled her eyes at how grossly _dog_ everything Danny did was and tucked her tail up beside her body. She yawned wide, stretching her jaw as far as she could and slowly blinked her half-lidded eyes as she watched the sun start to rise over the mountains.

\---

Regardless of how strange and distant Carmilla had been acting Laura had definitely not been expecting her to walk into breakfast on the morning of Kirsch’s Quidditch match with Danny.

It wasn’t like they were laughing and talking enthusiastically with each other, but they did look more physically comfortable around each other than they ever had before. And, for the first time in a week, Carmilla didn’t look tense and closed off.

When they reached the table Carmilla went to Laura’s side and Laura’s breath caught in her throat. It wasn’t like Carmilla had been outright ignoring Laura this past week, she’d just been absent. But now, as she took a seat next to Laura and pressed a kiss to her temple, she was present, she was _here_.

Laura turned to Carmilla and smiled shyly as she quietly said, “Hi.”

Carmilla returned the smile. “Hey cutie.”

Laura wriggled in closer to Carmilla, who shifted to let Laura tuck in under her arm.

On the other side of the table Kirsch had gotten to his feet when Danny approached and they were now both standing in front of each other, wearing matching awkward looks. Danny’s arms were crossed and Kirsch’s hands were stuffed into his pockets as they stumbled through small talk about auror training and Kirsch’s upcoming match.

“Danny!”

Suddenly Danny was swarmed with her little brothers, all eagerly vying for her attention to tell her about their school year so far. Kirsch offered them each warm smiles and shuffled back, sitting down in his seat and looking like he was battling out an internal monologue. Perry patted him on the shoulder and his face pulled into a grimace of a smile as he nodded at her in response.

Kirsch checked his watch and stood, looking slightly ill.

“You’ll do great, okay sweetie?” Perry said as she squeezed Kirsch’s forearm.

Kirsch nodded, once, twice, three times, without actually looking sure of it in the least. “Yeah, totally.”

“Good luck, bro-magnon,” Carmilla said from across the table and for a moment Kirsch’s smile flashed to genuine.

“Sweet pun, dude.”

Carmilla just made a rock on sign with her hand coupled with a dry smile.

“Alright.” Kirsch felt his breast pocket and either pants pocket for no real reason other than a nervous tic, before nodding to himself and walking away from the table. “Lawrence.”

Danny turned to him – as did the rest of her brothers – and he grimaced and clarified, “I mean, uh, Jason. We’ve got to get ready for the match.”

Jason’s face fell to a serious expression and he nodded, giving Danny one last hug and heading in the direction of where he’d left his things on the table.

Kirsch gave an awkward half-nod, half-bow to the rest of the Lawrence clan and then edged around them to make his way to the entrance of the hall. When he was facing away from everyone he closed his eyes and cursed himself out in his head. Why did he have to be such an awkward loser?

“Kirsch!” Danny called out and Kirsch’s chest gave a hard answering thump as he felt the blood rush to his ears.

“What’s up?” He tried to sound as he could but his voice ended up cracking. He coughed quickly and rubbed the back of his neck with the palm of his hand.

“I just wanted to wish you luck.”

“Right, yeah, thanks.”

Danny gave him a sympathetic look because apparently he had no skill at covering up his nerves. She reached out but before she made contact with him she seemed to remember herself and her hand fell back to her side again. “You’ll be great. You always are.”

Kirsch grinned wryly, his nervousness thrust into the background for the moment. “Is that a compliment Lawrence?”

Danny rolled her eyes but smiled through it. “It’s the truth, loser.”

“Damn right it is.” He puffed his chest out and Danny punched him in the shoulder.

“I’ll see you after the match,” Danny promised and Kirsch nodded. The nervousness was starting to return but instead of making him feel erratically jumpy it was focusing him and suddenly he really needed a Quaffle in his hands. Danny noticed it, she had seen him before Quidditch matches enough times to be able to recognize his moods. “Go,” she urged.

He flashed her a grin and shifted from foot to foot, balancing on the balls of his feet. “Thanks.”

He jogged to the entrance of the hall but before he left he couldn’t resist throwing a glance over his shoulder and there she was, standing in the same spot, smiling encouragingly at him. His chest tightened, suddenly, almost painfully, and he almost tripped over but he covered it with a small skip as he left the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	19. Gryffindor vs Slytherin

Laura was wrapping Danny’s old Gryffindor scarf around Carmilla’s neck (which okay she technically didn’t need to help with, but whatever) when she asked, “Is everything okay?”

She had been internally debating whether or not to ask Carmilla about the last week, about everything, and had settled on this question. It wasn’t intrusive (well, relatively) or pushy, and it was the thing that she cared most about. If Carmilla was okay nothing else mattered, and if she wasn’t then Laura would do everything she could to help.

She felt nervous about meeting Carmilla’s eyes in case the Ravenclaw reacted badly to the question, so instead she kept her gaze on the scarf as she ran her hands down it, making sure it was perfectly settled. The silence stretched longer than comfortable, Laura’s hands had reached the end of the scarf and started back at the top again three times, before Carmilla captured her hands gently and ducked down to force Laura to look her in the eye.

“Cupcake? Relax.”

Laura bit her lip. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry, this is really awkward.” She laughed nervously.

“I’m fine. I saw my step mother last night and-”

“You what? Did she escape? What happened? Did Danny come here to stop her?”

“No, I…” Carmilla looked sheepish. “I went to visit her at Azkaban.”

Laura’s hands dropped from Carmilla’s grip.

“I’m sorry, you  _what_  now?”

“Laura…” Carmilla started but Laura held up her hand.

“You went to visit her in Azkaban?” Laura asked, her voice getting higher and louder. “You. Went to Azkaban. To visit your step mother?”

“It was her last request.”

“And you went,” Laura stated. She seemed a bit stuck on the idea, but Carmilla couldn’t exactly blame her.

“I was curious?” Carmilla offered with a shrug.

“And you didn’t tell me.” Laura’s eyebrows drew together into a disappointed, confused expression.

Carmilla’s body drooped with the realisation of what was bothering Laura and she stepped closer to her, which just made Laura take a quick step back. Carmilla’s expression broke, just a little, but she didn’t say anything as her posture grew more resigned.

“I didn’t want to bring you into it. I felt selfish, like I’d be using you or something.”

“Carm…” Laura stepped towards Carmilla on her own accord, not yet reaching out to touch her but the forward step was enough. “It’s not selfish,” she said insistently. “I want you to come to me with things like this and I want to help.”

Carmilla returned Laura’s look evenly, disbelief still written across her face, but she nodded slowly. “Okay.”

With that resolved Laura gave her a supportive smile and asked, “So how was it?”

Carmilla stayed silent for a while, turning over what to say in her mind. Finally, she said, “Weird.”

“Weird?”

“Weird,” she repeated. “They healed her soul.”

“What?”

“It’s kind of weird, but… I don’t know. She was saying how when you kill people it takes parts of your soul or something.” Carmilla paused, looking at Laura, who just nodded and tried to give her the most encouraging look she could. Carmilla sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “They healed her soul. And they make her relive her crimes.”

“So she feels remorse?”

“I guess.” Carmilla looked off to the side and exhaled noisily as she shifted uncomfortably on the spot. “I don’t know. She seemed different. Like, really different.”

“Are you okay?” Laura asked carefully.

Carmilla shrugged. “I think so, yeah. I mean… I don’t know. It was weird.”

“Did she apologise to you?”

She nodded. “Yeah. But she kept saying this thing about how she didn’t want forgiveness, she just wanted me to know that I deserved better than the way she treated me.”

“You did.”

Carmilla backed away from Laura, walking over to the wall before coming back again, pacing distractedly. “I know. I know.” Then she muttered to herself, “Why does no one think I know that?”

“Carm…”

Carmilla held up her hands, making Laura stay her ground and give her space. “Seriously, cupcake, you need to-” Carmilla swiped her hand across the front of her body, unable to put her feelings into words.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, it’s fine.” Carmilla stopped herself from pacing and returned her attention to Laura. She still looked restless but she covered it as best she could with a smile. “So guess who’s an Animagus.”

\---

Kirsch was sitting on the change room bench, hands clasped together and eyes closed when Oliver Wood walked in.

“Kirsch, bud, how you doing?”

Kirsch leapt to his feet and stuck his hand out. “Hey, Mr Wood, hey, hi.”

Wood shook his hand and had a twinkle in his eye as he asked, “So bit nervous then?”

Kirsch laughed uneasily and just did his best to shake Oliver Wood’s hand as confidently as possible.

Oliver clapped a hand on Kirsch’s shoulder. “You’ll be right. Just relax and do your thing.”

“Yes sir.”

Wood grimaced. “When I’m your coach there’ll be none of this ‘sir’ business, alright?”

Wood’s use of the word ‘when’ echoed in Kirsch’s mind and it forced a broad smile forward. It was still twisted by nerves, but for the most part his tension had been forgotten. “Totally.”

“Now go kick some Slytherin ass, yeah?”

Kirsch puffed out his chest. “Hell yeah.”

As Wood left the change room Aprils walked in, stuttering an awed greeting to Wood as he walked past him. Aprils dumped his Quidditch gear bag on the bench next to Kirsch.

“Bro, Oliver Wood.”

“I know, dude.”

“ _Oliver Wood_.”

“Dude, I know.”

“Do you think I can get his autograph after the match?” Aprils asked, looking longingly at the door that Oliver Wood had exited through. Kirsch threw one of the spare elbow pads at him and it made him dodge away, laughing. “What?”

“I’ll ask.”

“You’re the best, bro.”

“Hey, if we pull off the Cobra then I’ll get you box seats to every Puddlemere game for life.”

“ _Bro_ ,” Aprils said with an awed expression on his face. “We are gonna pull off the Cobra so hard.” Aprils held up his palm and Kirsch let loose a gleeful laugh and stood up to high five him enthusiastically.

\---

Danny and Perry were among the first to take a seat in the Quidditch pitch seating, something Danny had suggested to give Carmilla the privacy to talk to Laura. Carmilla hadn’t asked, of course, Carmilla would hate feeling like she owed her one, but Danny offered it regardless. Because she was rising above and showing that she wasn’t a stubborn ass, unlike some people.

It took Perry fifteen minutes to finally ask, “How is LaFontaine?”

Danny had been dreading the question, not because LaFontaine was being treated badly, but because she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what Perry wanted to hear, she had no idea what she’d want to hear in Perry’s position, so she just tried to be as vague as possible and take cues from her reaction.

“They’re alright.”

Danny’s answer was woefully undetailed and Perry pushed forward for more information. “Are they okay with being around their parents?”

‘Okay’ was debatable but Danny kept her face as straight as possible. She didn’t want to give Perry anything to obsess over, so she just said, “They’re… parents?”

Danny knew her lack of an ability to hide her reaction had struck again because Perry’s face scrunched.

“They seem happy though,” Danny added quickly. “I mean, that they’re standing up for what they believe in.”

Perry nodded, absently watching the students start to filter into seats.

“They miss you,” Danny offered. Perry gave Danny a sad smile and Danny searched her mind for something else to say. “I can ask if you can visit when I get back?”

Perry perked up immediately. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean I don’t know if it’ll get approved, but I’ll see if I can call in a favour.” (Another favour, Danny corrected herself internally, thinking of how she’d had to practically beg to be the one who escorted Carmilla to Azkaban.)

“That would be…” Perry searched for the right word but seemed to come up empty. “That would…” Finally she just said, “Thank you.”

Danny offered a gentle smile in return and made a mental note to get some chocolate frogs for Murano, the security officer in charge of the night shift, before she got back to the Ministry. He was the nicest security officer Danny knew, and he’d probably be the only one who would consider letting her sneak Perry in. Well, with enough chocolate frogs and reassurances that it wouldn’t come back onto him.

“Did we miss anything?”

“No, they haven’t-” Danny turned to speak to Laura and spotted Carmilla – whose face had been completely painted in red and gold stripes and her hair had been changed to match the colours – and burst out laughing. “Carmilla Karnstein queen of school spirit, who would’ve thought?”

“Shut up, mutt,” Carmilla muttered and shoved a gold strand of hair out of her face.

“Your transfiguration skills are getting better, Laura,” Perry said brightly.

“Carmilla's been teaching me,” Laura said proudly. Everyone’s attention returned to Carmilla with barely contained amusement and even with Carmilla’s painted face it was obvious that she was embarrassed as she started focusing on the pitch with an interest she’d never displayed before and pulled a beanie over her hair.

“I hate you all,” Carmilla glowered, crossing her arms and sitting back in her seat like a pouting child. Laura patted her on the knee and Carmilla grumbled something under her breath but uncrossed her arms so that she could sling one arm across the back of Laura’s chair. Laura leaned back into Carmilla’s arm, a dimple appearing on her cheek as she shuffled in close.

The Quidditch teams walked onto the field from either end and the stadium burst into cheers, the stands coming alive with the team colours, with a fairly even dispersal of red and gold; and green and silver.

The captains of the two teams walked forward to converse with the referee for the coin toss to decide which goals they’d take. The wind conditions were quite intense on the pitch and both captains would be aiming to get the North goals so they'd be working with the wind instead of against it. The Slytherin captain won the toss and selected the North goals, which Kirsch didn’t look too thrilled about it. Danny muttered something under her breath and Kirsch looked up to where they were sitting in the stands. He gave them a huge wave and then a thumbs up, which Laura and Perry both returned while Danny just smiled to herself. Carmilla looked back and forth between the two tall Gryffindors and raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

The tension in the stands was palpable, the rumour had gone around about Oliver Wood’s attendance and now most of the school knew what the match meant for Kirsch. So, like, no pressure or anything.

The referee released the four Quidditch balls from the central circle and the match started with the lead Slytherin Chaser dashing forward and shoving Kirsch aside to grab the Quaffle.

Ninety minutes into the match and the teams were tied at 100 points each. Even though Jason was a good Keeper he was still relatively inexperienced and the weather had turned even worse with heavy rain pelting down, and the Slytherins had taken full advantage.

Kirsch called a time out and gathered his team down their end of the pitch. It had been an exhausting game so far; not only because of the weather but also the traditional intensity of Gryffindor-Slytherin matches – a combination of age-old rivalry and it being the first match of the year.

“Good job bros, you’re doing super well.”

His team, panting and looking like drowned rats, offered him weary smiles in return.

“Chen, have you seen the snitch at all so far?” Kirsch asked their new seeker. She was a quiet, unassuming third year girl who hardly spoke unless she was spoken to, but worked just as hard (if not harder) than the rest of the team. She’d amazed Aprils at the try-outs with her flying and the first time Kirsch had seen her chase a Snitch in practice he’d high-fived Aprils on his awesome pick.

She shook her head and whipped her goggles off her head frustratedly. “I can’t see anything out there.”

Kirsch nodded, glancing around the pitch – where the rain had started to get harder – and ran a hand through his hair. Honestly, he was always in awe of Seekers, they had so much patience and were happy to play on the edges of the game. He always had to be in the thick of things to feel like he was helping.

“How’s the Slytherin seeker?”

Chen rolled her eyes and the corner of Kirsch’s lip twitched in surprise. Apparently she had more sass than her personality first gave away.

“He has no idea what he’s doing. He keeps trying to bait me into a chase.”

Kirsch’s grin grew at her disdainful tone and he held his hand up for a high five, which she did as her scornful expression giving way to a shy smile. “Atta girl. We’ll keep the scores level so that you can bring us home, alright?”

After she nodded a reply he turned his attention to Jason, who was staring at the ground with a shameful look. “Bro.” Jason looked up, and Kirsch offered him the most encouraging smile he could. “You’re doing good man, I know it’s really tough out there but you’ve done a bunch of awesome saves and we’d be losing by a bunch if it weren’t for you. Okay?”

Jason’s face slowly cleared of shame and he nodded slowly. “Yeah, thanks Kirsch.”

Kirsch gave him a thumbs up then he turned his attention to the Chasers and Beaters. “Alright, we’re gonna do the Cobra.”

The team burst into noise and Aprils was the first to say, “Dude, are you sure? With the weather…” The rest of the team echoed similar concerns and Kirsch just held his hand up.

“Come on guys, we know this play. We can do this. We just need to get everyone's attention and give Chen the time to get us that Snitch.” Kirsch nodded at Chen, who returned the nod, albeit with less confidence than he had.

Aprils didn’t look convinced, “Bro, what if you get hit again? The visibility out there is shit.”

Kirsch smiled warmly at the Beaters. “I trust you guys.” Then, he spoke to the whole team as he said, “Come on, you guys, you’re all awesome Quidditch players, you know how to do this, we’ve practiced this a tonne of times. We can do this. We’re all in this together.” Kirsch put his hand into the middle of the circle. “What team?”

“Gryffindor!” The team replied.

“ _What_ _team?_ ” he asked again.

“Gryffindor!”

And then they all shouted together, “ _GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!_ ”

In the stands Carmilla groaned so loudly that Kirsch looked up and held his fist up to her, as if to do some fist bump through the air. She dropped her face into her palms and wondered if Laura would let her leave before she physically hurt the Gryffindor captain.

When play started again the Gryffindors played with renewed energy, moving with the cutting efficiency that they had had at the beginning of the match. The Slytherins noticed the energy boost and tried to match it, but they lagged behind just enough for the Gryffindors to steal possession of the Quaffle and then do something that confused the Slytherins, as well as everyone else in the stadium.

Eriksen had the Quaffle and shot down to the ground, pulling up just before she hit the grass and moving from side to side as she charged down the pitch. Directly above her was Aprils and then above him, just above the height of the goals, was Kirsch.

The Beaters moved up near Kirsch, just below him on either side, and on the way one of them hit the bludger directly into the air above them. When it came plummeting back down they started to hit it between them, juggling it just below Kirsch’s feet.

The other bludger was hit their way by the Slytherin Beater and Long collected it and directed it towards the other Gryffindor Beater, bringing it smoothly into their back and forth juggling, swapping between hitting each one so that they were almost colliding but not quite (a technique that Kirsch made them practice twice a week). The Slytherin Beaters watched them go with a stunned awe before moving forward to try and intercept, but they couldn't get close enough to the whirlwind that had been created.

Two of the Slytherin Chasers sped down to recover the Quaffle from Eriksen and when they were almost on top of her she threw the Quaffle up and Aprils snatched it out of the air. They were two-thirds of the way down the pitch now, fast approaching the goalposts. The third Chaser tried to challenge Aprils for the Quaffle but he swung onto his side, dodging around her and feinted a dive down as he threw the Quaffle up and pulled to a stop just before he crossed over into the scoring area.

Kirsch grabbed the Quaffle and fell back so that the Beaters who were cycling the bludgers between them were in front of him. He blinked hard, letting everything else fall away as he focused on the goals in front of him.

At the goalposts the Keeper nervously shifted in between the goals, uncomfortable with what was happening. The Beaters moved closer together, driving the bludgers between each other even harder, and then they hit them in unison towards the goals. The look on the Keeper’s face was one of pure fear as he ducked out of the way and looked up to see that – following closely after the bludgers – was Kirsch and he easily threw the Quaffle through the main goalpost.

On the other end of the pitch, Chen pulled up from an incredible twisting barrel roll and held her hand high. In her palm, fighting against her grip, was the Golden Snitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	20. The Pitch

It felt weird to walk into the Gryffindor change room as a visitor, but once Danny opened the door and saw the team – _her_ team – celebrating their resounding win over Slytherin it felt like coming home.

The new seeker, Chen, was on Kirsch and Aprils’ shoulders as they whooped and carried her around the change room. Jason spotted Danny as soon as she came in and he scrambled over to her, climbing over the benches, and grabbing her into a tight hug.

“You did really well, Jase,” she said as she patted him on the back.

“Really?” he asked into her shoulder.

She pulled away so she could look him in the eye as she gave him the most reassuring smile she could. “Really.”

He pulled her back into the hug and she could feel him practically vibrating with happiness. She could remember her first Quidditch match like it was yesterday, they had just managed to hang on and win against Slytherin and she’d been just as – if not more – thrilled about it than Jason was right now. Kirsch had made some ridiculous last minute goals in that match too. He always did love performing for a crowd.

Her eyes connected with Kirsch’s across the room and his face burst into an even larger grin, which Danny couldn’t help but mirror. It was impossible not to, it was like looking into the face of pure joy.

“Congratulations,” she mouthed to him.

“Thank you,” he replied soundlessly. Then the two Beaters who had been creeping up behind him emptied a barrel of Pumpkin juice over on his head, drenching him. After a moment of shock passed he let out a deep, rumbling laugh and turned to face the Beaters, charging forward and grabbing them both into his arms.

Last Danny had known their Beater Long hated Kirsch because he'd had feelings for their chaser Eriksen who had been obsessed with Kirsch. But the answer came soon after when he escaped Kirsch's grip and went over to Eriksen and kissed her eagerly. Danny had no idea how Eriksen had managed to get over her giant crush on Kirsch, but it was nice to see her happy instead of angrily pining.

There was a loud knock at the door and Oliver Wood stuck his head in with an apologetic smile. “Sorry to interrupt, can I just talk to Kirsch for a minute?”

The change room fell silent at the appearance of the legend and everyone stared at Kirsch as he walked out of the change room. Danny felt the itch to follow, but she ignored it.

After he left everyone slowly started talking again, reliving the game play by play, and happily chattering about what a great start to the year this was.

Jason noticed Danny’s mood and he nudged her. “It was a great game, I’m sure Wood’s chomping at the bit to get Kirsch on his team.”

“Kirsch is an idiot,” Danny replied automatically and Jason gave a quiet, knowing chuckle.

“Still amazing at Quidditch though.”

Danny made an absent sound and half waved him off.

Jason smiled. “Go,” he urged. “Check on him.”

Danny’s attention finally came back to him and she asked, “Are you-?”

“I want to celebrate my first Quidditch win without my big sister here,” he said with a sly grin. “Go.”

Danny nodded and took one last look around the celebrating change room before ruffling Jason’s red hair and leaving. Danny started when she walked through the door and saw Kirsch leaning against the outside wall next to the door. Oliver Wood was nowhere to be seen and Kirsch’s expression was unreadable.

She closed the door behind her, muffling the sounds of celebration. “Hey.” She kept her voice free of any emotion, unsure of what to say or how to approach him.

He looked up at her and she still couldn’t decipher what his expression meant. It took him a moment to acknowledge her presence, and when he did he stood up straight and offered her a smile, although it was leagues away from the smile he’d given her a few minutes ago.

She didn’t know where to begin so she just asked, “Where’s Wood?”

“He had to get back, he, uh-”

Danny was holding her breath and it was starting to burn her lungs so she forced herself to let it out and pull in a fresh one. ( _Please, please, let him be okay. Please._ )

Kirsch let out a laugh and shrugged, crossing his arms and drawing his shoulders in. “I’m in.”

“You… you’re in?” Danny asked.

He shrugged again and one of his hands went to rub the back of his neck as he let another unsure laugh loose. “Yeah.”

“You’re in,” Danny repeated, because she didn’t quite believe it from the way Kirsch's shoulders were bowed. From Kirsch’s reaction she had thought the conversation would go somewhere very different, so she really needed him to say it again.

“I’m in.”

Danny laughed in relief and closed the space between them, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly to her. He stilled, as if unsure of how to respond, before he slowly put his hands on the small of her back with a touch so light that she could barely feel it. She pulled away from him, causing his hands to slide around to her waist (which she did not notice), and smacked him on the shoulder.

His hands dropped from her waist as he grimaced and rubbed his shoulder. “What was that for?”

“You made me worry.”

“You were worried about me?” he asked amusedly.

“That is so not what I said.”

Kirsch was smart enough not to argue his point, instead he just looked into the distance and said quietly, “I’m going to play professional Quidditch for Puddlemere United.”

Danny smiled up at him. “Yeah. You are.” She didn’t realize how close they were standing until his eyes slid down to her and she noticed how large his pupils were. At this point they were more pupils than iris, but she still found herself getting stuck on the clear colour of his eyes – gone green in the stormy lighting. A thunderclap rang somewhere in the distance, but neither of them reacted to it, continuing to hold each other’s gaze.

Her eyes flicked down to his lips, just for a moment, and when they went back up to meet his it was obvious that he’d seen. Instead of the cocky grin she was expecting, he was staring at her like she was the only thing he could see.

“Danny,” he said her name quietly, reverently.

“Brody.”

He smiled gently, his face rich with warmth and Danny felt a reflection of that warmth bloom in her chest.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” she asked. It felt like they were even closer than before, but she couldn’t tell if they actually were or if she was imagining it.

“Everything,” he replied, as if it was obvious. Then his eyes went down to her lips. “Can I- I mean, you can totally say no and maybe this is really dumb, but...” He breathed in, rough and wanting but at the same time gentle, “Can I kiss you?”

“You… you want to kiss me?” she asked haltingly.

His eyes dropped to the floor. “It’s stupid, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, you don’t think of me that way. I know we’re only friends, I’m really sorry, that was totally out of line.”

“You want to kiss me?”

“I…” Kirsch frowned in confusion. “Well yeah, but look I won’t bring it up again, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable at all, it was just… Heat of the moment?”

“You want to kiss me.”

“I’m sorry?” Kirsch offered.

“You seriously want to kiss me?”

Kirsch looked around them as if searching for help from some outside source, but of course there was no one else around them. “Yeah?”

“Why?”

“Um.” Kirsch scratched behind his ear, face falling into a confused crumple. “I don’t know, because you’re kissable?”

“What does that even mean?” she demanded, her voice growing an edge to it.

“Wait, are you pissed that I want to kiss you or that I’m not giving you a good enough reason why?”

“I… I don’t know.” And she didn't. She had no idea what was happening right now, and why she was feeling all these super intense things, and why she was so stuck on the fact that Kirsch had just asked to kiss her. He hadn't kissed her, hadn't even tried to touch her without her making the first move, and now... She didn't know why she was so thrown. It was Kirsch, he was a teenage boy and of course he wanted to kiss her because she was hot and mean and what more did teenage boys want?

But still...

Kirsch’s eyebrow quirked up and he regarded Danny closely for a minute before nodding to himself, looking around them, and then grabbing her by the hand and dragging her off.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Just, give me a moment okay?” he replied without looking back at her. They made their way back to the Quidditch pitch, and Kirsch grabbed two of the brooms that had been left in the storage room at the base of the stands. He handed one to Danny and led her onto the field. He mounted his broom and started to fly up, stopping when he realised that Danny hadn’t mounted her broom yet.

“What are you doing?” she shouted over the sound of the storm.

He flew back down to her and his eyes darted around before he replied, “I think better up there.”

She shot him a look – are you serious? He gave her an apologetic shrug and she heaved a sigh, mounting her broom and flying up with him until they were at the height of the goal posts. Kirsch still seemed uncomfortable so Danny suggested a lap around the field, which managed to finally settle him. They started slowly weaving in and out of each other, a casual version of one of the training drills they’d run over the holidays.

Finally Kirsch shouted over the roar of the storm, “I didn’t mean to objectify you.”

“I didn’t think you were,” Danny shouted back and it surprised her how honest it felt.

Relief washed over his face and he nodded. He said something but it was lost in the howl of the wind.

“What?”

“Good!” Kirsch repeated, loud enough for Danny to hear. “You’re my friend. That matters more than anything else. You matter more.”

His words hit something inside her, something that felt new and alien and it scared her how deep it went. She changed the subject quickly, asking again because for some reason she couldn't get it out of her head, “Why do you want to kiss me?”

“Because…” The wind howled louder and Kirsch adjusted his voice louder to compensate for it. “ _Because you’re Danny Lawrence. You’re smart and tough and you don’t put up with any shit, and when I’m around you I don’t feel like the dumb jock, I feel like a better person. I feel like..._   _me_.”

Danny’s throat felt like it was closing up and she stared at Kirsch through the rain. His hair was plastered to his forehead and he was squinting through the rain at her, as if he hadn’t just said the nicest thing that anyone had ever said to her. She felt something start, something build, inside her. She didn't know what, didn't dare because it was Kirsch but...

“ _You amaze me_ ,” he shouted, but the wind had died down so it came out much louder than he intended. He looked embarrassed for a moment but shrugged it off and continued. “You amaze me. And you scare me. And you push me. And you’re kind of one of my closest friends.”

Danny couldn't speak for a long time, something pushing up from the bottom of her stomach into her throat and making it impossible to say anything, but in the most warm, pleasantly twisting way. This was new, so new. She was the rebound, the one who was constantly in someone else's shadow. But the way Kirsch was looking at her right now made her feel like she was the sun.

“Do you want to kiss all of your friends?” she asked, because she didn't know what else to say except a deflecting joke because she seriously needed a moment to adjust right now.

He shook his head, sending a spray of rain around him and some of it hit Danny in the face but she didn’t react, just waited for him to answer.

“Just one.” He paused and then clarified, “Just you.”

“I got that,” Danny said and it was meant to be sarcastic but instead it ended up being soft and warm.

“Is that- is that okay?” Kirsch drifted slowly to a stop and Danny matched it, twisting so that she was facing him face to face.

Was it okay? Since when was Kirsch so thoughtful, and nice, and… Merlin, had Kirsch always been like this? No, there was no way. He was Kirsch. He was loud, and annoying, and cocky, and such a _boy_.

But suddenly he wasn’t just Kirsch, he was _Kirsch_. Thoughtful, brave Kirsch who had grown out of being a boy and was now standing – well, flying – before her as a man. A man who was looking at her unlike anyone had before, like she was the only thing that mattered.

“Yeah,” she said before she was even aware that she was saying it. But as she did she knew that it was true. Somehow, the idea of kissing Brody Kirsch was okay. (Maybe a little more than okay.)

There it was again – Kirsch’s smile (did he always have such a handsome smile? _Since when?_ ) and the answering warmth in Danny’s chest.

“Can I?” He didn’t have to clarify what he was talking about, they both knew, and the moment felt frozen between them before Danny replied with a subtle but firm nod.

Somehow his face brightened further and he manoeuvred his broom up before flipping it so that he was hanging upside down in front of Danny.

“What are you doing?” she asked and instead of the anger and annoyance that her voice would usually be laced with, the only thing in her tone was amusement.

His outer Quidditch robes were hanging down towards the ground and as he moved in closer to Danny it shielded them from the rain. He grinned at her as he closed the remaining space between them, his hand going to her jaw and tilting her face up towards him.

“Kissing you,” he murmured against her lips. She didn’t know if she wanted to hit him or kiss him, so she just settled on reaching up to grab him by the collar of his robes and pull him into a kiss.

It was weird. Kissing Kirsch was… weird. His mouth was softer than she thought it would be, but firm at the same time. He was a good kisser, Danny realised, not too eager but not too closed off. He kissed her slowly, steadily, matching her pace and edging it ever so slightly forward with his own. His robes hung down around them and she was surrounded by the way he smelled, the rich, earthy smell that reminded her of the forest near her house and winter fires and the sky. The smell hit something in the centre of her gut and made her pull harder on his collar. (In the back of her mind she thought: Sandalwood.)

He made a breathy sound against her mouth and it was-

Holy crap. She pulled back suddenly and stared at Kirsch. Kirsch who had just been totally making her feel…

“What? Was it… was it okay?”

Danny swallowed and replied thickly, “It was… fine.”

And there was the cocky grin.

She rolled her eyes, got a hold of herself, and did her best to kiss it off his face.

\---

“Hey Aprils, what’s up bro?” Kirsch beamed as he jumped over the back of the common room couch to land on it solidly.

“Dude, where you been? Everyone’s asking about you. What did Wood say?”

Kirsch had totally forgotten about that, but when Aprils reminded him his smile grew. Today had been like the absolute best day ever. What even was his life right now? He could still feel Danny’s mouth against his and…

Yeah, wow.

“You got it?” Aprils asked.

“Puddlemere team 2016, dude.”

“Dude!” Aprils held up his palms and Kirsch gave him two solid high-fives. “Oh hey, before I forget, Joe Montana came by with a letter for you.” Aprils dug the letter out of his back pocket and handed it over to Kirsch.

“Thanks man.”

“I’ll see you in the dorm room bro, but I’m super proud of you.”

Kirsch shot Aprils one last smile as he headed to bed before turning his attention to the letter in his hands. He recognized his oldest sister’s handwriting and wondered why Marnie was sending him a letter instead of their Mom. Usually she’d collect letters from each sister and mail it to him in one go.

But a day where he got into Puddlemere, kissed Danny Lawrence, and then got a letter from his family? That was definitely a good day.

His happiness lasted until the second line of the letter.

\---

Danny apparated into the Ministry atrium and shook herself free of any excess rain drops. She really needed to get out of these wet clothes; she could't stand feeling damp. When she looked up she realised that the atrium, which had previously been packed with protestors, was now completely empty.

She froze, looking around, as if they would appear in another moment, but when nothing changed she started taking quick steps towards the reception desk where Murano was sitting. Her steps echoed around her off the walls and went down her spine in frozen chills.

“Hey, where are the protestors?”

Murano glanced over his copy of the Daily Prophet at her and shrugged. “Are you complaining?”

“Murano.” Her voice carried an undertone of a warning and she was moments away from taking the undertone to a very real overtone.

He sighed and put down his paper. “They didn’t tell me. But… It was the APO.”

The APO, or Azkaban Prison Officer division, was an offshoot of security officers that had replaced the Dementors as the Azkaban prison guards. Hardly anything was known about the APO; they worked separately from the aurors, the MLE and the Ministry security officers, but if they were involved then there was only one reason.

Danny’s chest seized painfully.

“Did they take all of them?” She tried to keep her voice steady but it wavered. To Murano’s credit, he didn’t react or point it out.

“They registered the ones that weren’t taken.” He shuffled a few pages around on the desk before pulling out a list and handing it to Danny. With her breath trapped in her throat, she scanned the list desperately hoping she'd find LaFontaine's name.

\---

“Kirsch are you okay, what’s wrong?” Laura asked as they all gathered in the Shrieking Shack.

Carmilla collapsed onto the couch and gave a loud yawn, pointing her wand at the fireplace and setting it alight.

Kirsch paced in front of them, a letter clasped in his hand, and looking like he was going to fall apart.

“Kirsch, sweetie?” Perry asked cautiously.

“I need… I need…” Kirsch continued to pace, this time in smaller lengths and more erratically.

“Yo, Lassie,” Carmilla called out to him. “Take a breath and use your words."

At Carmilla’s order, Kirsch’s pace finally faltered and he turned to face the other three. “I need your help.”

Laura stepped forward and put a hand on Kirsch’s arm, concern written across her face. “What happened?”

Kirsch held the letter up to Laura and swallowed. She opened it out and started to read it. “Oh Kirsch…”

Kirsch looked at the other two and gave them a helpless shrug as he said, “They took her. They took my little sister.”

“Who took her, Kirsch?” Perry asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice but she ended up just sounding worried with a hint of pragmatic.

“The Ministry,” he said, his voice choking up. “They said… She broke the Statute of Secrecy. So they took her.”

Perry gasped. “Oh my… Oh no, Kirsch.” She stood and immediately hugged him as tightly as she could and he bent his head down into the hug, tears beginning to flow down his cheeks. Laura joined the hug soon after, hugging Kirsch from behind.

Instead of joining the other two in the hug, Carmilla stood up from the couch and said as firmly as possible, “We will find her.”

Kirsch looked up at Carmilla and offered her a smile through his tears, even though his eyes still pulled down sadly. “Thanks bro.”

Laura and Perry continued to hug Kirsch while Carmilla shifted uncomfortably on her feet, feeling the need to do something to contribute. She cleared her throat. “Do you, uh, have like a photo of her or something?”

“Yeah, I…” Kirsch manouevred around the hugging to reach into his back pocket and pull out his wallet. “It’s a non-magical one, but…” He handed his open wallet to Carmilla and on the inside was a photo of his family grinning at the camera.

Apparently Kirsch came from a family of Amazonian women who made him look like he was a normal size. He and three women stood in a line next to each other, all around the same height (except for the woman who was clearly their mother and was almost half a head taller than Kirsch) and they held up their youngest sister horizontally in a plank position. It was terribly adorable and for a moment Carmilla’s heart ached, but then she spotted something and she felt like the floor had fallen away.

\---

LaFontaine woke up on a cold tile floor and they groaned as they tried to get up, their aching, stiff body protesting against moving. The last thing they remembered-

Oh Merlin. They forced themselves up and took a look around them, trying to get their bearings.

They were in a small room, no not a room, a cell. It was only just tall enough to stand in, two metres by two metres in size, and it had a cot on the floor in the corner. The cell was paved with black tiles on all sides except one wall, which was open with long metal bars. They moved forward to press their face against the bars to try and see out. It took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the lighting but when they did it made them hold a hand to their mouth. Across from them was a wall of cells, just like theirs, and the wall stretched up as far as they could see and to either side.

They pressed their face to the bars as hard as they could to try and see next to them, and out of the very corner of their peripheral they could see that the same surrounded them. Between their cell and the wall opposite there was a long, dim, empty hallway that was very faintly lit by a few blue flame torches.

The sound of gentle crying drifted across from next to them.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” they asked. The crying stopped suddenly and then there was a soft sniffle. “My name’s LaFontaine, what’s yours?”

They stuck their arm out of the bars and bent it towards the origin of the crying.

A hand grasped LaF’s and they couldn’t help but sigh in relief at the feel of someone else’s hand in theirs. Although… the hand was so small, it was almost-

No, it couldn’t be.

“Sasha,” she replied and LaFontaine’s stomach plummeted. That was definitely a child’s voice.

“Are you doing okay, Sasha?”

“Yeah,” she breathed hard and quick, letting loose one more sob. LaFontaine rubbed their thumb over the back of her hand.

“You must be super brave, Sasha. How long have you been here for?”

“I-I think a day or two. I’m not sure.” She started to cry again and fuck- LaFontaine was not good at this.

“Hey, hey, its okay. It’ll be okay.”

This time Sasha didn’t reply to her, just continued to cry in quiet, hiccupping sobs. LaFontaine squeezed her hand, at a loss as to what to say.

“I’ve got these super badass friends, they’ll totally be coming to rescue us, okay?”

There was a pause and then Sasha asked, “Are they magic?”

(LaFontaine did some quick deduction in their mind. Child, doesn't assume everyone's magic, in Azkaban. Fuck.)

“Yeah, some of the best at it too,” LaFontaine fought to keep their voice reassuring. “My girlfriend’s amazing at Charms, and I have a friend who can turn into a huge cat.”

“My-my big brother is magic too.”

(Another piece of the puzzle slid in and LaFontaine's stomach went ice cold.)

“Oh really?” ( _Keep it cool, LaF, keep it fucking cool._ ) “Maybe I know him, did he go to Hogwarts? What’s his name?”

“Brody. But he makes everyone call him Kirsch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	21. The Red Tape

The silence was heavy in the Shrieking Shack. Kirsch was sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, staring unseeingly into the fire with his knees tucked up under his chin. Perry had draped herself over his shoulders as best she could given their height difference, trying to offer him physical comfort to make up for what she couldn't verbally. Carmilla looked almost as distraught as Kirsch did from her spot on the couch, although she wouldn't explain why, so Laura had settled for sitting next to her and holding her hand.

None of them knew how long they'd been like this - it felt like a lifetime and a single moment all at the same time. Finally (or suddenly, depending on which truth you believed), they were broken out of it by a series of loud knocks on the front door.

“It's Danny. Open up.”

There was a second of shocked stillness until Perry stood joltingly and opened the door to reveal the tall redhead looking worse for wear, soaked through and panicked. Seeing Danny like this, in such a state of active emotion, cut through the thick static of the room.

Relief spread over Kirsch's face, as if Danny's presence had helped steady something inside him. “Lawrence.”

“Kirsch, are you-?” Danny examined Perry's face closely. “Did you hear?”

“How did you hear?” Perry asked in return, uncomfortable under Danny's scrutiny.

“The Ministry security... How did  _you_?”

Kirsch held up the crumpled letter in his hands. “My older sister sent me a letter.”

Danny’s brow scrunched up in confusion. “What does your older sister...? Wait, what are you guys talking about?”

“Kirsch's younger sister being sent to Azkaban,” Laura explained. “What are you talking about?”

Danny's focus snapped to Kirsch, her expression twisted with panic and concern. “Kirsch, I...”

Kirsch walked over to Danny and gave her the most of a smile that he could manage, but it still came out broken. “It's okay. I mean, it's not but-”

He was cut off by Danny yanking him into a hug and he hesitated before returning it, sinking into her and burying his face in her shoulder. He let himself take one long breath in and out before he found his feet again and they separated. Danny searched Kirsch's face, eyes gentle yet discerning as she examined his features, and Kirsch nodded in reply. It might not have been what she was looking for, but she mirrored the nod back, finally letting her hands drift down his arms and drop away from him.

Carmilla watched them with narrowed eyes before declaring, “You guys hooked up.”

“What?” Danny seemed almost as surprised by what Carmilla said as the fact that there were other people in the room. “No we didn't.” Kirsch shot her a look out of the corner of his eyes and she cleared her throat. “I mean, so what if we did?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “There's slow burn, and then there's you guys.”

“Shut up, Karnstein.”

“Wait,” Perry interrupted. “What  _were_  you talking about, Danny?”

Danny’s expression fractured as she remembered why she had come here. Subconsciously Kirsch moved closer next to her and she leaned into him, not quite touching but still pressing into his space. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“LaFontaine was taken by the APO. They're at Azkaban.”

Laura gasped, Carmilla grabbed onto Laura's arm, Kirsch gave a soft whimper and Perry... Perry stayed perfectly still. Her face didn't move at all, but something left her eyes in that moment. Danny watched her carefully, but all that Perry did was close her eyes for a moment, open them again, and nod.

“So, we're breaking into Azkaban, yes?” she asked with a tight voice.

\---

Last year Danny had wondered what had turned a bunch of mostly rule-abiding students into a group of law-breaking, wannabe vigilantes. She had come a long way, she thought, as she glanced over her shoulder and flicked through the filing cabinet in front of her.

Kirsch’s broken smile kept replaying on the back of her eyelids. She’d always struggled with seeing Kirsch experience pain and heartache – it was like seeing a kicked puppy – but after everything that had happened between them… It felt like something had shifted inside her, now there was something unnamed that sat in the centre of her chest that warmed when he smiled and chilled when he couldn’t.

It was lame and part of her recoiled at how gross and co-dependent it felt, but at the same time she knew that it wasn’t.

Ugh. Whatever. She really should focus on what she was doing right now. The very illegal thing that would not only get her fired, but also thrown into Azkaban. She hadn’t thought about the consequences on the way here, she'd spent the trip driven by emotion and instinct, but she felt it hit her now as she tucked what she'd found into her jacket.

The fact that doing this seemed the only natural option had to count for something. Her dad always told her to rely on her gut, and right now her gut was sure about this.

Since it was a Saturday night the Ministry was mercifully empty, so she didn't run into anyone on her way to the lift. She grasped the edge of what she'd taken through her jacket and breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator doors opened to reveal an empty cab. She got in, pressed the button for the atrium and watched the elevator arm slide down to level 8. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears - it felt like one of the many stress tests that she'd gone through as an auror recruit, but with the added dimension of it being real. This was real. This was real. This was-

The elevator reached the atrium level and gave a gentle ding as the doors opened. She took quick strides out, chanting the phrase that had gotten her through the stress tests in her head - _you're a Lawrence, you're a Lawrence, you're a Lawrence._ (It wasn't a family snobbery thing, it was just that the image of her family always calmed her regardless of the situation.) She said it in time with each step, holding her head high and confident -  _you're a Lawrence, you're a Lawrence, you're a-_

"Good night, Auror Lawrence."

Danny felt like she'd jumped a foot in the air and tried to cover it with an awkward spin and wave at the the night guard Murano.  "Good night."

When she re-apparated at Hogsmeade she gave herself a moment to breathe, sucking in the crisp, cold night air and closing her eyes against the rain. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to go back to the Ministry, not if they found out what she’d done. She hoped that it would somehow slip under the radar, but these days hope didn’t count for much. She realised, quite suddenly, that that may have been the last time that she would ever hear someone call her 'Auror'. The realisation pricked her eyes with what would have been tears if she had the time to cry. But there was no time. Kirsch's little sister and LaFontaine and Merlin knew how many other innocent people were in Azkaban right now and this wasn't a time for her to mourn the loss of a dream. She could do that later, privately, but right now there was so much more at stake.

Something in the back of her mind itched to transform into her Animagus form, to retreat into it and run and run and run until her body gave out. Despite what Carmilla thought, being an Animagus was a family tradition for her. While most wizards weren’t interested in the process the Lawrence family was famous for taking pride in their Animagus status and treating it as a sacred act. Trust Carmilla to take a generations old tradition and turn it into a way to get under Danny’s skin.

Danny felt a growl start in her stomach but she pushed it back down. She had things to do and people to help. (Kirsch’s face echoed in her mind.)

She dragged in a breath and pushed it out, settling back into her body as she strode towards the Shack.

Danny was mid-knock when Laura opened the front door with a desperately hopeful look. Danny had been gone for about an hour and in that time the atmosphere in the Shack had somehow gotten heavier. Perry was surrounded by bits of parchment with sketches and random words that had been scribbled out; Carmilla was huddled in the far armchair, scowling; and Kirsch was sitting in front of the fireplace rubbing his necklace pendant between his thumb and forefinger as he stared into the flames.

Danny stamped her feet on the ground as she walked in, trying to get some extra heat into her extremities, and it drew all of their attention as they stared at her with the same look that Laura was giving her. A gentle fondness softened Kirsch’s anxious exhaustion - and there was the answering echo in the centre of her chest.

“How’d you go?” Laura asked as she closed the front door and Danny’s scope of focus expanded to include the rest of the room again.

“Good.” She reached into her jacket and pulled out a manila folder that looked empty from the outside but when opened a horrendously thick stack of forms burst out of it. She handed the forms to Laura and took a seat on the floor across from Kirsch, who watched her with gentle eyes. She replied with her most encouraging smile, trying to reassure him that they'd do this - they'd fix it - but she knew that he didn't need her to smile to believe that. His unwavering belief in her was both terrifying and inspiring.

From the armchair Carmilla muttered, “Gross.”

Laura walked over to the rest of the group slowly as she flicked through the top of the stack Danny had handed her. She passed a section over to Carmilla who glanced at the top form and read out, “Requisition form.” She scanned the rest of the page and her voice was full of irony when she said, “This is going to be fun.”

Danny shrugged. “You wanted information about Azkaban. If there’s one thing the government has, it’s paperwork.”

Carmilla thumbed through her stack. “Did you get  _every_  piece of paperwork from the Ministry?”

“This is only from the months that they built the new Azkaban.”

Carmilla was looking over another form and read out, “Form B-32: Request for Form C-2.” She held it up to the others. “Seriously?”

“Large bodies of authority need organization, Carmilla,” Perry said, sounding more normal than she had in hours. When Danny left Perry had been tearing herself into pieces trying to figure out how to rescue LaFontaine, but having something to do seemed to have steadied her. She was going through the forms at an intense speed, eyes absorbing information and moving onto the next one with a fanatical efficiency.

Carmilla pulled a face as she continued to look through the forms. “So what are we looking for then Red Tape Queen?”

“Building orders, requests for protective spells, anything that could be related to Azkaban,” Perry listed as she continued to power through. “We need a better idea of their security system, how many officers they schedule as guards, if they have any maintenance entrances, things that we can use.”

With the stack divided evenly between the five of them they all set to work, trying to decipher the forms and find any relevant ones. After a few hours Carmilla let out a loud, long groan and covered her face with her stack. She was lying down on her armchair, head propped up on one arm and legs draped over the other one. Laura was sitting at the foot of her chair and she blindly reached behind her to pat Carmilla on the shoulder.

“Why is there always so much  _reading_  with you people?” Carmilla asked through the ream of paper.

“You love reading,” Laura pointed out, eyes still not moving from her forms.

“I love reading things that are actually interesting.” Carmilla finally lifted the forms off her face and gestured with them. “Margaret Gensor requesting an addition to the Floo network is not interesting.”

“Gensor…” Perry repeated to herself, frowning and going over to one of the piles of paper that she’d made, shuffling through it quickly. “Gensor, Gensor, Gensor.” She found what she was looking for and held it aloft. “Gensor!”

“Are you having a stroke?” Carmilla asked.

Perry threw Carmilla a look before she waved the form in her hand. “Margaret Gensor also applied for a Class 5 protective charm. I put it aside because it’s the only class 5 I’ve seen so far.” Perry examined the form closely and frowned. “The reason’s been redacted.” She asked Carmilla, “Does it say where the Floo network addition is meant to be?”

“Nope.” Carmilla pointed out the long black strip that covered the ‘Location’ field. “Redacted.”

“So we're guessing this has something to do with Azkaban?” Laura asked.

“I’d say it’s pretty damn likely,” Danny replied.

Kirsch was intently reading one of his forms and added, “I think she’s from the Department of Mysteries.”

“Why?”

He looked up from the form and realised that everyone’s attention was on him. He shrugged, cleared his throat, and offered the form to Perry, pointing to a line on it. “She signed an order for the glass they use in Time-Turners.”

“How do you know what glass they use in Time-Turners?” Perry asked as she read over the form.

He shrugged again and his eyes flicked over to Carmilla for a split second before he replied, “I did some research. Last year, after…”

Kirsch was clearly uncomfortable so Laura swooped in, concluding, “So the Department of Mysteries took over Azkaban from the MLE.”

“Perfect,” Carmilla said under her breath. When everyone looked at her she shot them a look back. “What? Have you all forgotten how much of a mind fuck that department was last year? You don’t think this isn’t going to make Azkaban even more of a pain in the ass to break into?”

“We broke into the Department of Mysteries,” Perry pointed out.

“Yeah, but…” Carmilla let out a frustrated breath and ran her hand through her hair. “This isn’t just the department, this is  _Azkaban_. You don’t think they’re going to pull out all the stops?”

“I have to believe that we will do this, Carmilla.”

“You can believe whatever you want, Pippi Longstocking, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

“Stop!” Danny ordered firmly. Both of them realised that Kirsch was sitting there, very still and very silent as he stared intently at nothing.

Carmilla shifted uneasily and got to her feet, looking ready to bolt. Her face was downturned as she muttered, “Sorry.” Then she left the Shack and the sound of the door slamming reverberated in everyone’s heads.

\---

“Hey,” Laura greeted Carmilla quietly as she stepped outside. Carmilla was sitting on the front stoop of the Shack, staring out at the rain as it turned the front lawn to mud.

“Hey.”

Laura took a seat next to Carmilla; the rain had eased off a lot from earlier so the small awning over the front door was enough to keep them sheltered. She copied Carmilla’s posture, arms crossed over her tucked in knees, and snuck her fingers over to brush against Carmilla’s elbow.

“Are you okay?” Laura had a feeling that what was actually bothering Carmilla wasn't what she had exploded about, but she didn’t want to assume anything.

Carmilla let out a breath. Her fingers found Laura’s and she traced them lightly.

“Sometimes I hate this school.” Carmilla looked over at Laura, who was keeping her face blank and open as she waited for Carmilla to finish. “Why can’t we just do normal teenage things like ditch school and get drunk and have relationship drama?”

“You want relationship drama?”

“Nothing too serious, just, you know,” Carmilla rolled her eyes, “Who’s going to take who to the prom.”

“Would you take me to prom?” Laura asked with a smile.

Carmilla laughed softly. “What makes you think I’d want to go to prom?”

“But every high school movie ends with prom,” Laura pointed out. “You’d say you weren’t coming and then you’d show up looking really hot in a suit and you’d make this speech about how great I was and then we’d slow dance as the camera panned out.”

Carmilla’s eyebrow rose. “Put a lot of thought into this have you, cutie?”

“No!” Laura replied emphatically. Then, quieter, she said, “Maybe.”

Carmilla laughed and it came out bright and warm, and for a moment there was no missing people, no Azkaban, nothing except Laura and Carmilla sitting on the step.

Carmilla uncrossed her arms and put one around Laura’s shoulders. “Tell me more about how hot I’d look in this suit.”

Laura brightened as she leaned into Carmilla and started to describe Carmilla’s suit and how she’d be wearing a corsage to match Laura’s dress – because Laura had told her about it but hadn’t thought that Carmilla was listening because of how bored she’d always look.

“I always listen to you,” Carmilla inserted and Laura made a series of excited gestures.

Carmilla looked stunned and confused by the emphatic movements until Laura explained, “That’s exactly what I thought you’d say!”

“Cupcake, are you saying I’m predictable?” Carmilla asked with a faux-insulted voice.

Laura shrugged. “Little bit.”

Carmilla’s mouth dropped open and she gasped exaggeratedly. “How dare you. You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married-”

“Dude, best movie ever,” came from behind them.

Laura and Carmilla turned to see Kirsch leaning against the doorway, body slanted with tiredness. Carmilla tensed with guilt at seeing the Gryffindor, but Kirsch offered her a weary, open smile and she relaxed again.

“Why am I not surprised that you like the Godfather?”

Kirsch pulled a face and started to talk in a thick accent, “Consider this justice a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.”

“Are you trying to do Marlon Brando right now? That’s not how you do Marlon Brando.” Carmilla raised her free hand and started to slowly shake it back and forth as she spoke in a voice that was rough and low, “You talk about vengeance. Is vengeance going to bring your son back to you?”

“Oh, come on!” Laura exclaimed and they both turned to her. “You guys both suck at Brando.”

“Can you do better, creampuff?”

Laura arranged her face into a downward pout and said, somehow in a perfect Brando impression, “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Both Carmilla and Kirsch stared at Laura in disbelieving silence until Kirsch turned to Carmilla and said, “Dude, you’re dating Brando.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes as Laura beamed up at him.

“Did you want to sit?” Laura shuffled across so that there would be enough room for Kirsch to sit next to them, pushing Carmilla off to the side. Carmilla grumbled but moved, and Kirsch gave them a grateful grin before collapsing next to them on the step so violently that the wood creaked.

“Are you doing okay?” Laura asked and Kirsch shrugged. Laura leaned her head on his shoulder. “We’ll get her back.”

He nodded, but it was clearly more for Laura’s benefit than his.

“We will,” Carmilla said with as much authority as she could muster. He nodded again and gave his best attempt at an encouraging smile, but the edge remained.

They sat in silence, the atmosphere returning to glum, until Carmilla reached over and hit him on the back of the head.

“Dude, what?” Kirsch asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Who would you take to prom?”

It took a moment for Kirsch to realise what Carmilla was trying to do and when he did he considered the question with a thoughtful look. “Can we take people who’ve graduated?”

\---

LaFontaine woke to the sound of stone scraping against stone. It took a moment for them to remember where they were – cell, Azkaban, Kirsch’s little sister.

“Sasha? Are you okay?” LaF moved to the front of their cell and reached out for Sasha’s cell.

The moment of silence that answered them felt like a lifetime, but then a hand grasped theirs and the quiet reply of, “I’m okay.”

“What’s happening?” LaFontaine tried to look out of their cell but didn’t see anything moving, even though the sound was getting louder.

“They’re taking someone else,” Sasha replied in a small voice.

“Taking-? What do you-?”

Then LaFontaine saw it - on the far end of the opposite wall one of the cells was pulling out of the wall and drifting down to where four guards were using their wands to make it hover. Then, with the cell in tow, they marched down the hallway into the darkness.

“Do you know where they take them?” The question slipped out before LaFontaine could help it, their curiosity making them forget that they were talking to a young girl.

Before they could let her off the hook she replied, “No, but they don’t come back.”

Wow. LaFontaine sat back onto the floor of their cell. Well, they didn’t need to ever sleep again.

They started to look around their cell again, searching for something, anything. They trusted that their friends would come for them, but they couldn’t just sit around and wait. They had to do something. They had to get back.

Perry’s face popped into their mind and they clenched their fists. They couldn’t think of her right now. If they thought of her they’d panic and if they panicked then they wouldn’t be any use to themselves or to Sasha.

“LaFontaine?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Brody’s mad at me?”

“Why would he be mad at you?”

A pause, and then, “I told his secret to Sally Gardner.” Another pause and then she blurted out, “She promised she wouldn’t tell anyone and she’s meant to be my best friend and I thought I could trust her but then these men came to my house and…” Sasha’s voice was cut off by a sob. LaFontaine's heart clenched in their chest tightly for the small girl. It hadn't taken them long to realise that she had been imprisoned for the breaking the Statute of Secrecy, but hearing how she'd actually done it made it worse for them. The reason was so utterly _young_  that it broke LaFontaine's heart.

“Sally didn’t tell anyone, Sash. They just… They just know.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know.” They were trying to sound as comforting and knowing as possible, and they really hoped that it was translating. “Don’t worry, he definitely isn’t mad at you.”

“You promise?”

“I do.”

“Okay.” She lapsed into silence again and LaF looked at the wall between their cells with as much sympathy as they could – hoping that it would somehow get through to her. “LaFontaine?”

“Yeah?”

“If we don’t get out of here…” Her resigned tone made LaFontaine feel sick to their stomach. “I’m glad you were here.”

LaFontaine swallowed the lump in their throat as best they could before they said, “We will get out of here. Both of us. I promise.”

The only answer they got was silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	22. The Blame

By the time they had separated all the forms that Margaret Gensor had appeared on, the sun was starting to rise outside, casting rays of light through the boarded up windows. Most of them were on the verge of collapsing, except Perry who was working with an intensity that had somehow only built as the night turned into morning. When one of the sun rays fell onto the paper in front of Perry she squinted and looked up, finally realising the time, and saw that the rest of them were in various states of exhaustion.

Carmilla was lying across the armchair with a pile of paper on her face that she was, in all likelihood, asleep under. Laura was resting her head on Carmilla and every few minutes she’d nod off before jumping awake and trying to continue to read. Kirsch had his legs crossed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. Every few minutes he’d use his hands to smush around his face in an effort to wake up as he stared down at the papers in his lap. Danny was snoring, her papers had fallen to the floor in her sleep, and instead she was holding onto the blanket Kirsch had lain over her.

Perry felt a shot of adoration in her chest for these people, her friends, and she went about the Shack preparing beds for each of them and making sure the sheets were clean and comfortable. Then she woke them in turn, first Carmilla and Laura who she quietly told to go to the upstairs bedroom, then she transfigured the rug on the floor into a mattress and gently coaxed the two Gryffindors into lying down on it. Danny sleepily offered Kirsch half of her blanket and he accepted it with a yawn.

When everyone was resettled Perry took a look at all the paper that covered the floor. She put her hands on her hips, giving herself a break of a few deep, cleansing breaths before she started to sort everything into piles and continue on with their work.

\---

For some reason, moving to the bed upstairs had woken Carmilla up, as if being somewhere more comfortable had ruined her ability to sleep. She lay in the bed and stared at the canopy hanging over them.

“Are you okay?”

She didn’t realise that Laura was also awake, and when she turned to her, Laura's face was pulled into a worried expression. It seemed they were revisiting the conversation that Carmilla had dodged earlier.

“I mean, you-you don’t have to talk to me about it. If you don’t want to. I just… If you want to, you can.”

Carmilla smiled gently at the girl who looked ready to backpedal into oblivion. Opening up to Laura had always come easier to her than trying to open up to anyone else, but Carmilla didn’t know where to start. She’d been trying to put what was upsetting her into words for the past few hours, but speaking them out loud was another matter entirely.

“I saw her.”

Laura waited in case Carmilla wasn’t done speaking, but when it was clear that she wouldn’t be adding anything to the simple sentence, Laura prompted her, “Saw who?”

Carmilla took in a slow breath. She knew that her cryptic sentence wouldn’t be enough, even if some illogical part of her hoped that it would so that she wouldn’t have to explain further. The words to explain things seemed both too large and too small, laced with not enough meaning or far too much. But the way Laura was looking at her, the quietness of the dawn, made her feel like maybe,  _maybe_ , she could say it. Maybe she could say it and it wouldn't make her feel like she had sentenced an 11 year old girl to Azkaban.

The red and green Converse shoes that Kirsch's sister had been wearing in the family photo flashed in her mind's eye and she swallowed. “Kirsch's sister.“ Again a flash, this time of the black-bagged person getting frogmarched into Azkaban with the shoes - the same  _fucking_ shoes - that had haunted Carmilla's dreams. “When I was at Azkaban waiting for clearance to see my... They took her right past me.” God, she felt like she was trying to swallow ash, thick and black. “I could have done something. I _should_ have...”

Laura interrupted her with a voice as soft as a breath but firm in its surety, “You couldn’t have done anything, Carm.”

 _But I should have_ , the reply screamed and echoed in her mind, but didn't make it anywhere near her lips. ( _She should have, she should have, she should have._ )

Laura’s hand slid across her stomach, settling on her hip, making Carmilla turn her head towards Laura.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You couldn’t have known.” Laura seemed to be able to read Carmilla's thoughts and she was trying to coax her from them with gentle words, but they continued to weigh her down with stubborn blackness.

“I knew _some_ thing was wrong,” she said, fighting against Laura - against herself - to hold onto her guilt.

“So, what, you were meant to challenge some Azkaban guards to release their prisoner?”

“No, I just…” Laura’s very logical picking apart of her internal conflict was both helpful and frustrating. “I don’t know.” Carmilla felt the tendrils of the black begin to loosen.

“Carmilla Karnstein,” Laura spoke with authority, “I love you. But sometimes you’re silly.”

“You’re boiling down my guilt complex to me being silly?” Carmilla asked incredulously.

Laura nodded firmly. “Yep.”

And, with that one small thing, Carmilla's face spread into an unbidden smile and she felt like she was able to take a full breath in for the first time since she'd seen the photo. She turned her whole body to face Laura, allowing herself to take comfort and draw strength from Laura's presence. Laura mirrored the movement, shifting onto her side, and her mouth pursed as her mood changed to something quieter.

“I know it’s easier to blame yourself.”

From the carefully blank expression on Laura’s face, Carmilla knew that she was thinking about her mother’s death, a subject that Laura never brought up. She’d only brushed past it in vague terms one time during the summer holidays when they’d stayed up until dawn. (It was as if Laura had buried it so deep that it could only come out during the early hours of the morning.) Carmilla knew that it had something to do with a car accident and the reflection of Carmilla’s father’s death had struck her as a depressing sort of kismet.

“It is.” Carmilla didn’t know what to say when they came this close to the topic of Laura’s mother.

Laura’s hand lifted from Carmilla’s hip up to her face where she brushed aside her fringe and started to trace down her hairline. Carmilla ducked her face down, leaning into Laura’s touch as she let her eyes close.

“Kirsch doesn’t blame you.”

“I know.”

“That doesn’t help,” Laura observed. Carmilla didn’t reply, she just opened her eyes and returned Laura’s gaze, which was enough. Carmilla was ashamed for wallowing in her guilt, for taking to it like a comfort. She’d helped most of the others deal with their guilt and destructive thinking, but when it came down to it she still didn’t know how to properly apply it to herself, not when it was so much easier to just give in.

Laura sighed quietly, her fingers still trailing down Carmilla’s hair. If Carmilla hadn’t been looking at Laura’s face, she would have assumed that Laura was disappointed. Instead, Carmilla saw a heartbreaking mix of patience and sadness.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Laura asked.

Carmilla bit her lip because – _who was this girl and what had she done to deserve her?_

“This is good.”

Laura’s eyes softened and Carmilla could see the relief in them that she was doing the right thing. (As if Laura could do anything wrong by Carmilla.)

“I’ll get there,” Carmilla promised. She didn’t know how long it would take, but she would. (She had to.)

“If there’s any way I can help…” Laura trailed off invitingly.

“You’ll be the first to know,” Carmilla finished for her. She leaned over and kissed Laura, trying to put into the kiss what she couldn’t in words. It started off slow and gentle but, as Laura’s hand moved to the back of Carmilla’s neck and pulled her closer, it deepened quickly.

Carmilla pulled on Laura’s hip, pressing their bodies against each other, fitting together in a way that made her stomach twist with heat. She let out a quiet breath against Laura’s mouth and Laura responded keenly, sucking on her top lip.

The rest of Carmilla’s ability to think flew out the window as Laura pushed her onto her back and straddled her hips, hands framing her face and pulling her up into a rough, needy kiss. Carmilla’s hands settled on Laura’s back, holding on as Laura’s hips moved back and forth.

“Fuck,” Carmilla muttered, not even aware that she’d said anything until Laura pulled back and grinned at her with a mischievous twist. Laura’s hair was spilling over her shoulders and down the right side of her face, and Carmilla’s breath stuck in her throat. For a moment, wonder broke through her arousal and she whispered, “God, you’re beautiful.”

Laura blushed lightly and pushed her hair behind her ear before she leaned down to kiss her. “You are,” she mumbled against her lips.

Carmilla sat up and gently pushed Laura back a fraction, just enough to look her in the eye because she really needed her to hear this. “I’m serious. You are gorgeous, Laura Hollis.”

Instead of deflecting this time Laura smiled and ran a thumb over Carmilla's cheekbone. “So are you.”

Carmilla had thought about whether or not she was in love with Laura before – because to her loving someone and _being_ in love were vastly different things – but it was never clearer to her than right in this moment. This girl, in front of her, this beautiful, generous, kind, brave person, was who she was in love with.

And with that sudden rush of feeling came something else - fear.

In that moment, she wanted to say ‘I’m in love with you’, every single cell of her body was screaming it, but what came out instead was, “Don’t come to Azkaban.”

“What?” Laura moved off Carmilla’s lap, shifting backwards so that she was sitting on the bed instead. Carmilla grimaced at her reaction, that could have definitely gone better, but her point still stood.

“Please,” she added, realising that she probably should have led with that. “It’s too dangerous.”

“And you think I can’t handle it.” The sentence could have been a question, but it came out of Laura’s mouth hard and with an underlying fury that made Carmilla recoil. Laura didn't back down, pointing out, “I came to the Ministry last year.”

“Yeah, but…” God she should really stop talking, but she couldn’t. The thought of losing Laura was making her panic, causing words to spill out of her despite how angrily insulted Laura looked. “We were more prepared for that.”

“I’m not letting you do this without me,” Laura fired back.

“Laura, please.”

Then, suddenly, the fury was gone and Laura’s face fell to an expression that scared Carmilla far more. “You think I can’t handle myself,” Laura said quietly.

“No, that’s not-”

Laura’s eyes hardened. “I already have an overprotective dad, Carmilla. I don’t need someone else who thinks I can't take care of myself.”

“I do-”

Laura went to her side of the bed, lying down and turning her back to Carmilla, ending the conversation. Carmilla’s regret felt like a thick buzz that enveloped her entire body, stopping her from moving or speaking. (Perhaps that was for the best, she thought, clearly she was just making things worse.)

She slowly lay down on the bed on her back before turning away from Laura – staying that open to Laura felt like a disservice to herself as a slice of anger broke through her regret. What gave Laura the right to react like that? All she was doing was expressing concern, she was _worried_ about her because she was _in love with her_. Why couldn’t Laura understand that? Why did she have to go off at her and make her feel guilty for it? Since when was it a crime to worry about your girlfriend?

Carmilla felt the guilt start to bubble into anger, clutching her arms tightly around herself. The air in the room was stifling, filled with anger and insult, and she stared at the wall in front of her with a furious look.

A moment of clarity struck her as she wondered how they’d gotten here, facing the walls and seething at each other. Their first real fight, she thought, but her emotions hadn’t settled enough to let her celebrate the milestone. Nope, all she wanted to do right now was glare at the wall and wait for Laura to apologise.

However long that took.

After a few hours of tense silence and very restless sleep, Carmilla decided to get up and go downstairs because apparently no apology was forthcoming from Laura and her resolve was starting to weaken and she totally _wasn’t_ going to be apologizing to her. Especially because Laura was really lightly snoring and it was adorable, which just annoyed Carmilla.

When Carmilla got downstairs, she saw the Gryffindors spooning each other (made a mental note to tease Danny for that later) and Perry still reading through forms.

“Have you slept?” Carmilla’s voice was weak from sleep deprivation and she cleared her throat as she took a seat on her armchair (because it was now definitely _hers_ ).

“No, not yet,” Perry replied distractedly as she read through the piece of paper she was holding and put it into a pile.

“You should do that. You’re not a robot, Agent Scully.”

Perry hummed absentmindedly.

Carmilla sighed and ran her hands over her face as she got off the armchair and moved over to the piece of floor that Perry had sectioned off for organizing forms. “Are we still on Gensor?”

“I’ve found all the forms to do with her, now I’m looking at someone who seems to be connected to her, Tracy Nam.”

“Tracy Nam. Sweet. Got it. Gimme.” Carmilla held out her hand to Perry, who handed her a stack of paper with a grateful look.

After a few minutes of silence Carmilla said casually, “You know, I’ve got this. If you want to go like lie down or whatever.”

“I’m okay.”

Carmilla looked up with a stern expression. “Go lie down before I make you.”

“Well,” Perry hesitated, “Maybe just for ten minutes.” She went to the couch and settled into it, grabbing one of the pillows and holding it to her stomach. She watched Carmilla read with a hawk-like gaze, until Carmilla ordered her to turn around and shut her eyes.

“Carmilla…?”

“You’re the worst I swear…” Carmilla muttered to herself before she moved her attention from the papers in front of her to Perry and caught her soft, sad look.

“Thank you,” Perry said quietly. Then she turned to face the back of the couch and curled around the pillow, finally letting sleep take her.

“You’re welcome,” Carmilla whispered, softly enough that it didn’t disturb Perry, before she returned her focus to the forms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	23. The Argument

Laura snapped awake from a dream about friendly talking dinosaurs and had a moment of confused panic before she realised where she was, what they were doing, and how things were with Carmilla. Her confusion twisted into a stale tasting anger as she realised that Carmilla wasn’t in the bed anymore and that she hadn’t apologized for what she’d said, that she hadn’t even tried to see things from her point of view.

The logical part of her knew that this wasn’t a surprise – Carmilla struggled with processing any emotion normally, much less ones that involved conflict. She knew that she should step up and help her through it, but she let herself hold onto her obstinate mood for a while longer before she sighed, rolled off the bed, and headed downstairs to where the rest of the group was.

Everyone except Perry was awake when she got downstairs and she wondered how long she’d been asleep for. They were going through the forms, silently putting paper into piles and passing them between each other every so often.

“Hey Little L!” Kirsch greeted her enthusiastically. Danny elbowed him and gestured towards the sleeping Perry and he grimaced and said in a hushed voice, “Shit, sorry.” Then, again to Laura with the same enthusiasm but now in a whisper, “Hey!”

“How’s it going?” Laura asked as she took a seat in the spare space around the paper piles and avoided looking at Carmilla.

“It’s going,” Danny replied while Kirsch offered a hapless shrug and smile.

“I was gonna go grab breakfast for everyone. Any requests?” Kirsch asked.

Laura noticed that the arm that he was leaning on was pressed against Danny’s knee and she had to swallow back her smile. Despite everything that was happening (or maybe because of it) she was really happy that Danny and Kirsch were finally properly leaning on each other, instead of acting like it was just happenstance.

“Cookies?”

“How do you not have scurvy?” Danny asked, tone dancing with amusement.

Laura shrugged. “Magic?”

Carmilla snorted and then cleared her throat, pretending like she hadn’t just laughed at Laura’s joke.

“Alright.” Kirsch dropped a casual kiss to Danny’s temple as if it was a habit that had been established for years (Danny’s surprise at it matched Laura’s), clambered to his feet while managing not to knock any of the towering paper piles over, and headed outside to Hogsmeade to get them food.

Carmilla spoke for the first time since Laura had come down, snarking, “And I thought you guys were joined at the hip.”

“Can I talk to you?” Laura asked and Carmilla had the good sense to look like she’d been reprimanded before she nodded once.

Laura stood and walked towards the stairs leading to the second level of the Shack. Carmilla followed her after a quick glance at Danny to glare her into not saying anything because a smart comment from Lawrence was the opposite of what the situation needed right now.

Once they were upstairs Laura walked to the far side of the room and rocked back and forth on her feet. Carmilla stayed in the doorway, keeping her distance for a few moments, before entering the room fully and closing the door. The soft sound of the door closing echoed in both their minds as they tried to figure out what to say, and how to say it, neither able to look at the other.

“You wanted to talk?” Carmilla asked and winced at how hard her voice sounded. That was probably (definitely) not the best start.

Laura was giving her this disappointed look now and Carmilla felt like her stomach had bottomed out and she really wanted to fix it, but nothing was coming to mind and- (Shit, shit, shit, why did she always have to fuck everything up?)

“Yeah,” Laura replied and her tone matched Carmilla’s, which made Carmilla want to rise to the fight and also run far, far away. Instead, Carmilla just gave her a pointed look. The disappointment in Laura’s face grew, as did the pit in Carmilla’s stomach.

“About last night, this morning…” Laura trailed off, as if waiting for Carmilla to say something. It was like she was trying to guide Carmilla towards an apology but why should she apologise? She was fairly sure that she was in the right. It wasn’t that she didn’t think Laura could handle herself, she knew that she could, but they were breaking into _Azkaban_ for fuck’s sake.

Carmilla felt her temper rise, way faster than usual, and she was half sure that it was from the lack of sleep, but that didn’t mean that what she was feeling was any less true. She was still in love with Laura, they were still breaking into Azkaban, Laura had still reacted badly.

“If you’re waiting for me to apologise then let me save you some time. It’s not going to happen,” Carmilla snapped.

The disappointment in Laura’s eyes flipped to anger. “Ex _cuse_ me?”

“You’re excused,” Carmilla shot back, voice thick with sarcasm. “I can’t believe this, you brought me up here to get an apology out of me.”

“I…” Laura’s face flared with anger and she lost her words for a moment. When she regained her ability to speak she annunciated each word with perfectly clipped syllables. “I brought you up here to give you the _opportunity_ to apologise to me.”

“Oh, how generous of you.”

“You- you-” Laura shook her head, as if she was trying to help organize her head enough to be able to put a sentence together. “I can’t believe you. I know this whole talking about things is hard or whatever, but you’re acting like- like-”

“Like what?” Carmilla challenged her.

“Like an asshole!” Laura exploded. “You don’t get to talk to me like this, Carmilla, it is not okay.”

“Stop talking to me like I’m a child.”

“Stop acting like one!” Laura shot back. “I understand that it’s difficult for you, but there are more important things going on right now than this.”

Carmilla was silent for a while, but the air in the room was impossibly thick with tension interspersed with something else that Laura couldn’t quite put her finger on. When Carmilla finally spoke her voice was soft and laced with something intangible. “What do you mean it’s ‘difficult’ for me?”

“You know…” Laura paused but it was clear that Carmilla didn’t know as her expression stayed the same. Laura shrugged and looked down to the side as she said out of the corner of her mouth, “With your step mother and everything.”

As Laura continued to stare down to the side she felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, and after a few long minutes of silence she finally looked up to make eye contact with Carmilla.

“You think I’m broken,” Carmilla observed in a steady voice. There was no anger left, just a casual observation that she made with the slightest twist of curious realisation.

“No, I…” Laura stepped forward, reaching for Carmilla, because she didn’t know what else to say because, yeah okay technically in some way but not in the way that Carmilla thought.

Carmilla moved away from Laura’s reach, her expression still devoid of anger, just resigned. She swallowed and crossed her arms, hands gripping her sides as if she was holding herself together.

“I don’t think you’re broken,” Laura insisted, hoping that her words would get through to her. “I don’t. I just-” Laura sighed and sat down on the bed. “I’m sorry. I should have apologized first.”

Carmilla walked over to the bed and sat next to Laura, although there was still a metre of space between them. Laura watched her with hopeful eyes but the way Carmilla’s shoulders were bowed struck her hard in the centre of her chest.

“I don’t think you’re broken,” Laura repeated because she desperately needed Carmilla to believe her.

“I am though,” Carmilla said quietly. “I know I am. I just thought I was getting better.”

Laura felt like her heart broke in two, and suddenly she hated herself, hated the way she’d treated Carmilla, hated how things had gotten between them.

Carmilla finally looked at Laura. “I’m trying. I’m trying to be good enough for-”

“Carm,” Laura said quietly, but firmly. “You are good enough. You’re better than good enough.”

In reply Carmilla just gave a weak shrug.

“Carm…” Laura shuffled over to her on the bed so that she was within arm’s reach. “I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’ve been through a lot and that means that some stuff is harder for you to do, but I think you’re doing amazingly.”

“I don’t feel like I am,” Carmilla said, her voice was still quiet but it was also heavy with honesty.

Laura didn’t know what to say without repeating herself, so she reached over and put her hand on Carmilla’s. Carmilla squeezed Laura’s hand in response and swallowed hard. “Saying sorry… I, uh, it’s… It’s hard.”

Laura nodded, but waited for Carmilla to continue.

“But I am. You know.” Carmilla winced and shifted uncomfortably. “I know you can handle yourself, you’re kind of a badass. I just don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“You think I’m a badass?” Laura asked in a small voice. And yeah, so maybe that wasn’t the part that she should be focusing on, but it was the first time someone had called her a badass and it made her forget about everything else for a moment.

“Duh,” Carmilla said as if it was obvious. “Laura, you were the reason we took on my step mother last year. Hell, you’re the reason that the Scooby Gang even exists. Whenever there’s danger you run at it head on. It’s the best and worst thing about you.”

Laura felt like her cheeks were heating up from Carmilla’s words, half because no one had said anything like this to her, and half because she could barely believe that anyone _thought_ this about her. She was hardly used to the idea of people actually liking her, let alone thinking she was brave and capable.

“I love your dad, but he’s wrong about you.” Carmilla leaned towards Laura. “Laura Hollis, you are the bravest, smartest badass I’ve ever met.”

Laura’s eyes were shining as she looked back at Carmilla and she squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

“I know I’m difficult, to talk to, to be with…”

“No, you-”

Carmilla but Laura off with a look. “You were right earlier, I was being an asshole.” She sighed. “I don’t know why, I just…”

“It’s okay,” Laura said before Carmilla keep stumbling through her words. “I know you’re trying. And I think you’re doing great, Carm.”

Carmilla peered up at her through her fringe. “You do?”

Laura felt a pang in her chest because something about the way Carmilla said it seemed so young and nodded. “I do.”

Carmilla took in a quick breath and then leaned forward, clumsily pressing her lips against Laura’s. Laura was caught off guard at first, but she relaxed into it, happily sighing as she let herself fall into Carmilla. She didn’t realize it before, but being mad at Carmilla was incredibly exhausting. The tension between them had weighed down heavily on her and having it lifted made her giddy with relief.

“So.” Carmilla pulled back far enough to look Laura in the eye, but stayed close enough that they were still leaning into each other. “First fight.”

Laura grimaced and held up her palm. “High five?”

“You hang around the jock too much,” Carmilla observed wryly as she just regarded Laura’s palm skeptically instead of giving her a high five.

“Shut up and high five me, you dork.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and gave Laura a high five, which made her giggle and smile. Which may or may not have made Carmilla smile in return, any measure of annoyance forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	24. The Recon Mission

“We should go back down?” Carmilla had intended it to be a suggestion but it came out as a question, her confidence robbed by her guilt at how she’d treated Laura.

“Totally.”

Somewhat more encouraged by Laura’s response, Carmilla waved her towards the door, letting her go through first in an uncomfortable half-attempt at chivalry. As they walked back down the stairs Carmilla rolled her eyes towards the ceiling, cursing her lack of knowledge on how to act.

In her experience, post-argument times were the ones where she ran to the far end of the grounds, transformed into an Animagus and lost herself in the trees. This was different, this was… New. (Although the urge to become a panther was definitely there.)

The sound of Danny and Kirsch arguing greeted them as they reached the lounge room, as well as a veritable spread of food from Hogsmeade that ranged from the sugary sweets to hearty savoury food.

“Take the money, Kirsch.” Danny thrust several galleons at him.

Kirsch leaned away from the offered money, as if it touching him meant that he was accepting it. “No, I said I’d get breakfast. You guys have been working so hard, I owe you.”

Danny gave him a look. “Kirsch, just take it alright? This is nothing to me.”

Kirsch went red and shoved his hands into his pockets stubbornly. “No. Besides, I’m going to play for Puddlemere next year, so it’s no big deal.”

“Kirsch, this isn’t-”

“Laura, Carmilla!” Perry greeted them with an air of desperation, getting up from her position on the couch. She was holding onto a – thankfully – much smaller stack of papers now as if they were the most important things in the world. “Kirsch bought breakfast.”

Laura spotted the cookie packet and cheered, as if celebrating loud enough would drown out the awkward tension on the room. “Thanks Kirsch!”

Carmilla picked up one of the pumpkin pasties and collapsed into her armchair. “Yeah, thanks Chewy.” Normally she would have probably antagonized the two Gryffindors, but as it was she was tired enough from her own argument, the mostly sleepless night, and everything else, so she would just have to make up for it later on.

Perry was still looking nervously between Danny and Kirsch – who were very stubbornly _not_ looking at each other – so Laura drew her attention away by asking, “So, Perry, did you find something?”

Perry jumped into action immediately, grateful for the distraction. “I think I know where the nearest Portkey is.” She started looking through the forms in her hands although it was obvious that she already knew all the relevant information by heart. “They always have a spare Portkey with any Floo network addition that is far from the grid, so it was just a matter of cross-referencing people that we have narrowed down as Unspeakables and then going through the Port-”

“Get to the point, Red,” Carmilla interrupted.

“I know where Azkaban is.”

Everyone sat with that information silently for a moment, letting the gravity of it settle in the room. Then Perry continued, “It’s about an hour’s broom ride. Or…”

“Or?” Laura prompted.

Perry glanced over at Carmilla. “Fifteen minutes by Thestral.”

Carmilla let out a long groan and rolled over, burying her face in the armchair.

Speaking over Carmilla’s continuing groan Perry added, “I believe that we should do some reconnaissance work before we infiltrate the prison.”

Kirsch perked up. “Stake out?”

Perry seemed caught off guard by one of the Gryffindors re-entering the conversation instead of sulking, but she recovered and smiled at him. “Yes.”

Kirsch pumped his fist while Carmilla let out a sound of distaste and turned her face off the armchair to say, “Count me out. I don’t do stake outs.”

“Oh how will we ever get by without you?” Danny asked sarcastically.

“Hey Clifford, don’t get pissy at me just because you had an argument with your boyfriend.”

Danny’s cheeks coloured and she stared at the ground hard as she muttered, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“I’ll come,” Laura offered. Carmilla’s attention snapped over to Laura, taunting Danny forgotten for now. Laura returned Carmilla’s look evenly, not necessarily challenging her to anything but not looking ready to back down. Then Laura took a small breath and added, “But I won’t be breaking in with you guys.”

Everyone was surprised by what Laura had said, but no one said anything because they wanted to respect her wishes despite their burning curiosity. From all their experiences, Laura tended to barge into dangerous situations headfirst, but the way she was looking at Carmilla made everyone hold their tongue.

Perry turned to Danny, who had yet to contribute to the conversation. “What about you Danny?”

She shook her head. “I have something I have to do.”

“Okay!” Perry clapped her hands together. “So Kirsch, Laura and I will go and stake out Azkaban.” She stood up and everyone else in the room seemed surprised by the assertiveness with which she stood.

“Oh, we’re leaving now?” Laura asked.

“We can’t waste any time. Every moment that goes past…” Perry glanced at Kirsch. “We can’t waste any time.”

“Right, of course.” Laura seemed at a loss, her eyes falling on Carmilla, while her hands distractedly grasped at each other. Carmilla sat up properly, her eyes darting from Laura to Perry.

“Shall we?”

Kirsch got to his feet with an eager, messy grace and held his hand out to Danny to help her up. She looked at the hand, up at him, and then took it and let him pull her onto her feet. Once they were both standing he gave her a well-meaning smile and held his arms out for a hug. She glanced at the others in the room and then pulled him in by his collar for a kiss.

On the other side of the room, Carmilla and Laura were standing in front of each other, hesitation colouring their movements.

“You’ll be fine,” Carmilla said with complete conviction.

Laura smiled warmly back at her. “I will.”

Carmilla nodded, eyes falling to the floor. The previous argument had been mostly resolved, but it still sat weirdly between them, making them both worried about saying the wrong thing or making the wrong step forward.

Laura bit her lip and threw caution to the wind, throwing herself at Carmilla and hugging her tightly. “I’ll be fine,” she murmured into her neck.

Carmilla buried her face in Laura’s hair and relaxed into the familiar scent.

“You will.”

Laura shifted back from the embrace, making sure that she was maintain eye contact with Carmilla as she said, “If I get in any trouble I’ll use the bracelet.”

“And I’ll be there,” Carmilla promised.

Meanwhile, Perry had finished packing her bag and was walking towards the door as quietly and quickly as she could. She decided that she should wait outside – give them some privacy and (if she was being perfectly honest) give herself a break.

She loved her friends dearly, loved that they had found happiness with each other, but with LaFontaine stuck in Azkaban she could feel every minute as it passed, like an itch that she couldn’t scratch it hounded her consciousness and refused to let up.

It was noon, but not a Hogsmeade weekend so the town was still quiet enough that she could slip out the front door of the Shack unnoticed. She walked across the front lawn, steps causing the still damp grass to squelch, to the fence bordering the Shack. The rain had passed, giving way to a mostly clear day and the sunlight was making the moisture on the ground come up as a thick sort of humidity.

She leaned against the fence from the outside and forced herself to close her eyes and feel the rays of the sun – letting the warmth seep into her bones and feeling her breathing settle deeper into her chest instead of in her throat.

She would find them. She would find them. She would find them.

“We ready to rock and roll?”

Kirsch’s voice broke through her moment and she smiled at the two in front of her. (It was the first time during the weekend that she had smiled and not felt like it was pulling at her heart.)

\---

After the three had left for Azkaban, Danny went about the Shack gathering all her belongings.

“Not that I care, but what are you doing?” Carmilla asked as she watched Danny from her spot on the armchair.

Danny paused in her movements and let out a breath, her shoulders sagging. “I’m going to go talk to LaFontaine’s parents.”

“You didn’t want to take Agent Scully?”

Danny turned to Carmilla, examining her face to try and determine how invested Carmilla actually was. Finally she said, “No one can know that any of you know what’s going on in the Ministry.”

“You think they’ll take us,” Carmilla finished for her. Danny nodded curtly and then turned back around as she fastened her belt around her waist.

Carmilla narrowed her eyes as she stared at the ground, before she took in a quick breath and stood up. “How time sensitive is it?”

Danny gave a shrug. “I want to do it today, they deserve to hear that we’re going after LaFontaine.” She pulled on her auror jacket and started to fasten the buckles.

Carmilla folded her arms and pinched the inside of her biceps as she forced herself to continue. “I mean like can you hold off for half an hour?”

Danny finally turned back towards Carmilla, having redressed herself completely and she frowned as her eyes caught Carmilla’s nervous twitching. “I guess so, why?”

“I need your help with something.”

\---

The ride on the Thestrals took ten minutes, they seemed to sense the urgency in the students and urged forward at a pace that had everyone gripping on for dear life. They landed a kilometre out from Azkaban where the woods were still thick and continued on foot so that they didn’t attract any attention.

After they landed Perry opened up the bag that she’d grabbed on her way out and gave the Thestrals enough meat to keep them happy. She’d cast a charm on her bag to keep the meat fresh for as long as she needed (although she hadn’t tested it, theoretically it could keep meat fresh for up to three months). She whispered into the ears of the Thestrals before she repacked her bag, slung it over her shoulders and started to walk ahead with sure steps.

They walked in silence; the air in the woods was heavy with something that sat between them instead of conversation. It took Laura a few minutes to realize, but the thing that threw her off was the fact that the forest around them was dead silent, devoid of any sounds of nature. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end and when she looked at the other two she saw that their faces were equally as tense.

After ten minutes of hiking through the downward slanting forest the end of the tree line appeared before them, not as a natural thinning out, but as a hard line. They walked slowly towards the boundary, careful as ever, and peered out from behind the tree trunks.

There was a metre of mud between where the trees stopped and a huge lake that appeared dead still on the surface. Like the forest, there were no nature sounds or movement here, and unlike the rest of the weather that they’d experienced so far the sky had turned grey and a fog sat over the water.

In the middle of the lake a huge building towered up, a triangular prism with no visible entry or windows, just a shining black stone exterior.

“ _Dude_ ,” Kirsch said in awe and Laura agreed, nodding her head as she craned her neck to try and see the top of the building that went up ridiculously high but wasn’t visible from the sky.

Perry swallowed hard. She had done it. She had found them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	25. The Deal

Danny’s eyes shifted from the faulty Time-Turner to Carmilla’s face and back down again. Danny had mixed feelings about the Time-Turner - on one hand it had helped Kirsch save her life last year, on the other it made her uneasy in a gut, impossible to explain way.

“How do you know this will work?” she asked doubtfully.

Carmilla’s attention was fixed on the Time-Turner, which spun back and forth on the necklace chain, the gold glinting in the light. “Your boyfriend isn’t the only one who researched these things.”

“He’s not-”

“Priorities, Clifford.”

Danny dropped her eyes off to the side, cheekbones a pink flush as she muttered, “I wish you’d stop calling him that. We haven’t talked about it.”

Carmilla’s expression softened to a gently bemused smirk but she didn’t reply, just putting the Time-Turner around her neck.

She’d gotten it from Perry after what had happened last year and promised to keep it safe. Since then it had sat in the trunk at the Shrieking Shack and she honestly hadn’t planned to use it again.

But, extenuating circumstances and all.

Danny reached out to stop Carmilla from turning it, and Carmilla shot her an expectant look.

“You better make it back okay, Karnstein.”

“On my honour,” Carmilla drawled and Danny dropped her hand, letting Carmilla turn the Time-Turner and vanish into thin air.

In the empty Shack Danny let out a breath and knotted her fingers together. “Asshole.”

\---

Carmilla stood in the bright white room and felt the memory of last year hit her like a punch to the gut. Except this time she knew where she was, and she knew who the man sitting at the desk in front of her was.

“Carmilla Karnstein,” he greeted her, albeit with less warmth than last time.

“Hey…” She realised that she didn’t actually know what his name was so she just finished lamely, “You.”

“Why are you here?” he asked in a hard voice.

“I thought this was Nowhere, the failsafe for faulty Time-Turner attempts,” Carmilla pointed out, but apparently he wasn’t in the mood because he continued to stare her down.

She sighed; of course he knew that she was here on purpose. She hadn’t expected him to get so hostile about it, but there were more important things to worry about right now.

“I need your help.”

“Do I strike you as the type to hand out favours to anyone who comes here?” He stood from behind the desk and walked towards her with such a hard gait that she flinched back before he reached her. His face was pulled into a furious sneer as he stared down at her. His eyes had started to blacken, literally. Like dropping ink into a glass of water, the blackness spread from his pupils, covering his irises, and then turning the whites of his eyes into an empty, consuming black.

“Do you think me to be your personal chauffeur? Doing your bidding and sending you where you wish?”

“No, I-”

“I am an omniscient guardian for those who get lost in time and you dare come here and ask me for help with your personal problems?”

Carmilla’s back hit the wall and she pressed her palms flat against it. “I’m sorry.” She started sliding down the wall – shit, shit, shit – as he glowered at her. He was still half a metre away, but his rage filled the room, pressing hard down, down on Carmilla.

Then it eased, suddenly, and his eyes weren’t black anymore. Like a storm passing, they changed back to the pale green that they were originally. The tension in his face disappeared, replaced with a thoughtful expression. Carmilla stayed at the wall, sucking in a deep breath and trying to clear her ears of the sound of her heartbeat.

“If I help you…” he started slowly, tracing his jaw with the tip of his finger. “You will owe me.”

“Owe what?”

He shook his head. “You don’t get to ask that.”

Carmilla’s stomach went cold as the possibility of what that could mean ran through her mind. She thought of LaFontaine, of Kirsch, of Laura. She pushed herself off the wall and stepped towards him. “Okay.”

He smiled at her for the first time she had appeared and held his hand out towards her. She looked down at the hand, looked back up at him, and took in a breath before shaking it.

\---

Danny paced the length of the lounge room, pausing every so often to stare hard at the spot that Carmilla had last been before she’d disappeared, as if this would help her come back.

She muttered angrily to herself about how she shouldn’t have let Carmilla go, what did she know anyway, she was just some headstrong kid who was messing with things that were bigger than she-

The air in the Shack suddenly crackled with an electric energy and a spot in the middle of the room seemed to pull in everything around it until it snapped back with a pop and Carmilla was standing there.

For a moment Carmilla stayed standing at a slightly off angle, as if being propped up by an invisible force, and then it gave way and she fell to her knees. Danny rushed forward and helped her up, Carmilla didn’t even have the energy to shake her off, just swaying and making a small sound in the back of her throat. Danny tipped Carmilla’s head back and examined her face carefully.

“You idiot, I can’t believe you did this,” Danny glowered under her breath. She lifted up Carmilla’s drooping eyelid and examined her pupil closely. Carmilla weakly pushed her hand away, mumbling a protest.

Danny heaved a sigh and bent down to pick Carmilla up with an arm under her neck and one under her knees. Carmilla grunted and slurred something about ‘dog breath’ before her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out.

Danny continued to complain under her breath as she carried her up the stairs, careful to avoid hitting her head on the wall – at least she tried. On her way into the bedroom she accidentally knocked her against the doorway with a solid thud and she froze, searching Carmilla’s face for a reaction, but Carmilla didn’t even stir.

Danny continued towards the bed and dropped the unconscious girl onto the bed, making the mattress springs groan. Now that that was sorted she stood next to the bed, looking down at Carmilla and trying to decide what to do. Should she stay and watch over her, or should she go to see LaFontaine’s parents?

Carmilla let out a gentle snore and Danny rolled her eyes. She dragged the wooden chair from the corner over to next to the bed, letting the legs scrape on the wooden floorboards, but that still didn’t seem enough to wake Carmilla. She dropped onto the chair and leaned back so that she was rocking on the back legs, her feet propped up on the bed, and took out her wand so that she could make absent patterns in the air to pass the time.

\---

Carmilla woke with a start, eyes searching the room before she realised where she was and relaxed. Then she saw Danny, feet propped up on the bed, arms crossed and head bowed as she snored. She had to give the Gryffindor credit – she could sleep pretty much anywhere.

Carmilla grabbed the other pillow and threw it at her, groaning as a flash of white pain seared through her shoulder. The pillow hit Danny in the arm and she jerked awake, flailing on the spot and only just managing to catch herself from falling off the chair.

Carmilla snickered and Danny threw the pillow back at her. “Asshole.”

Carmilla shrugged, completely not fussed by Danny’s reaction. “How many chances do you get to surprise an Amazon?”

Danny’s eyes narrowed. “That sounds like a compliment.”

“Take it however you want to Clifford.” Carmilla lifted herself into a sitting position and grimaced as her muscles screamed. “What happened?”

“You passed out after you got back.”

“Right,” Carmilla muttered and held her palm to her forehead. What had happened in Nowhere was coming back to her now, making her stomach sink as it did.

“Did he say he’d help?” Danny asked, and even though Danny kept her tone steady her eager hope was clear in the way she leaned forward.

Carmilla remembered what it felt like to look into those pitch black eyes and shoved it away immediately with a hard swallow. She cleared her throat, smoothing over the sheets and picking at a loose thread. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re good.”

“You sure?”

“Aren’t you meant to be off delivering news to the parents?”

Danny hesitated, wondering if she should pursue Carmilla’s deflection, but she decided that the Ravenclaw wouldn’t talk about it if she didn’t want to, so she replied, “I was waiting for you to wake up.”

“Aw, were you worried about me Xena?” Carmilla’s voice was strained with something that had happened in Nowhere and it stopped Danny from firing back. Instead she sighed and stood up.

“Do you need me to stay?”

Something flashed over Carmilla’s face – gratefulness perhaps, but it was gone too quickly to identify. She shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine. Go do your thing.” Danny nodded and gave Carmilla’s face one last once over before she turned to leave. She was almost out the door when Carmilla called out, “Thanks. For waiting.”

Danny paused, unsure of how to reply, if she should turn around, or if she should keep her back to her. And unsure of which Carmilla would prefer. (Because for some reason right now, she was certain that Carmilla deserved what she preferred.)

She settled for keeping her back to Carmilla, only turning her face to say, “Thanks for going.”

They both knew what Danny meant by that – that she might not know the specifics but that she knew that Carmilla had given up something. And that it wasn’t a small thing.

“Eh,” Carmilla said, voice still strained but now full of irony. “Alternate universes are my jam.”

This time Danny turned fully towards her, expression incredulous at the utter flippancy that came so naturally to Carmilla. Carmilla smirked back and Danny rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Hey.” Again, Carmilla interrupted her before she could leave. “When you get back, Animagus form?”

Danny grinned. “Hell yeah.”

\---

The welcome at the LaFontaines' wasn't exactly warm.

Danny had moved quickly once she’d apparated in their neighborhood, not wanting to draw attention to herself, but all that went out the window when Mark LaFontaine had opened the door, seen her, and immediately slammed it shut.

Danny let out a sigh, she’d met LaFontaine’s parents during the protest, but as far as they knew she was the same Ministry employee that hadn’t been able to offer them anything more than sympathetic looks and a few smuggled snacks.

She knocked on the door again. “Mr LaFontaine, please we need to talk.”

There was a long pause and then the door opened, marginally, enough for him to glower at her through the opening.

“Auror Lawrence,” he greeted her as if he hadn’t just slammed a door in her face. “Why are you here?”

The door suddenly opened wider to reveal his wife, Sarah, who fixed Danny with a withering look as she adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses and pushed aside her bright red hair. Danny could see the red around both of their eyes, the puffiness of their faces, and she felt guilty for not coming earlier.

Sarah LaFontaine stuck her chin up so that she was looking down her nose at Danny, despite being almost half a metre shorter than her. “I think what my husband meant was, why the _hell_ are you here?”

Danny shifted uncomfortably, glancing behind her and hoping that the LaFontaines didn’t have prying neighbours. “I'm here about LaFontaine.”

If they were angry before they were furious now. Sarah LaFontaine stepped forward, the lens of her glasses glinting in the porch light as her expression hardened. “Leave. Now.”

“Please. I'm not with the Ministry anymore, I'm not an auror.”

It was the first time she had said it out loud, she'd barely even admitted it to herself, and saying it to someone else felt like a punch to the gut. But with two furious parents standing in front of her she didn't have the luxury of catching her breath.

“You're still wearing your uniform,” Mark pointed out.

Danny tried to give her most charming shrug and smile. “It gets me into places.” She glanced back towards the path that led to the street and – while she understood that this was a difficult time for them – really wished that they could skip this whole part. “Please let me in, I'll explain inside.”

The LaFontaines traded a look and Sarah rolled her eyes, stepping aside so that Danny could come into the house, although they stopped her from going any further than the foyer. Danny quickly cast an imperturable charm once the front door was shut and they both stared at her.

“Sorry. Security reasons.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Mark asked.

“I didn't know what the APO were doing, I swear. I am not on the Ministry's side here. That's why we,” she took in a quick breath – if they didn't think she was insane after the next part she'd probably think that they were. “We're breaking into Azkaban to get them.”

To give them credit, they didn't actually offer a response until a solid minute had passed and their first reaction was to look to each other.

Mark barked a laugh and shook his head. “You kids...”

Sarah's reaction was much the same; both of them looked like they were just getting up to teenage shenanigans and Danny was pretty sold on the idea that they were insane.

But they were dragonologists so that wasn't too much of a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	26. The Stake Out

Perry had no idea where Kirsch had gotten a bright yellow ball from but she was fairly certain that if he kept bouncing it off tree trunks she would lose her mind.

“Kirsch, honey? Can you please stop?”

Kirsch lazily turned towards her, continuing to throw the ball at the tree and catch it when it came flying back at his face. “What?”

“Kirsch…” Perry’s eyes followed the offensively brightly coloured ball as it bounced between the tree and his hand.

Laura reached out to grab the ball before he could catch it again and in that moment Perry could have kissed her. Kirsch realised that the ball had been what she was talking about and he looked guilty, as if he’d been working on auto-pilot and had completely forgotten what he was doing.

“Shit, sorry P,” he apologized with a grimace. “I never realised how boring stake outs are.”

It was true, the past few hours had been mind numbing, as far as they could tell they were the only living creatures in the area surrounding Azkaban, and the prison had stayed just as impenetrable as always. Perry was still standing, eyes sharp on the building, while Kirsch and Laura had settled for sitting on the forest floor.

“While I agree that this hasn’t been the most… thrilling, it is important.”

“Oh, yeah, totally. I just…” He gave her a shrug. “I’m not great at sitting still. Sorry.”

“We have to get them outside,” Laura said as she stared at Azkaban intently. “There’s a reason they put a Portkey here, there has to be some sort of entrance.”

“What do you suggest?” Perry asked.

Laura squeezed the ball in her hand. “I have an idea, but it’s like super dangerous.”

Kirsch and Perry both leaned towards her.

\---

“Okay.” Perry checked the straps that secured Kirsch to the Thestral. The Thestral huffed and stamped one of its feet; unhappy at the bindings that would ensure Kirsch wouldn’t be thrown from it. Kirsch leaned forward and patted its neck, murmuring under his breath in a soothing tone.

“You have to fly low enough that you get under the protective charm, which is probably around the tops of the trees.”

Kirsch gave her a thumbs up. “Got it.”

Perry hesitated, her hands still on the buckles. She and Kirsch had argued over who would be doing this, given that using their wand could potentially mean that the APO would have the wand’s signature and could use that to track them. Perry had wanted to do it for LaFontaine, but Kirsch won by saying that it was his sister and if he was sent to Azkaban at least then he’d be there to protect her. When Perry had asked him what Danny would say – a low blow, she admitted – Kirsch had just said that she would understand because she had younger siblings too.

Kirsch had won the argument fairly convincingly.

“You have to get out of there as soon as the building opens.”

“I know.”

Perry took in a quick breath, let it out, and then nodded. She pulled a black cloak from her bottomless pack and handed it to Kirsch, and he put it on with a flourish. He grinned down at her, but her mouth remained pursed, expression conflicted. He dropped the grin and leaned down so he could put a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ll be fine, P. You do yours and I’ll do mine and we’ll get them out, okay?”

“Right.” Perry shook her head free of the thoughts that were plaguing her. “Okay, yes.” She gave the Thestral one last pat on the neck and then stepped back so that it would have room to take off. Laura reached over to grab her arm and squeeze it comfortingly.

“Be safe, Kirsch,” Laura called out.

Kirsch gave her a salute and winked. “You too, Little L.”

Laura and Perry watched as Kirsch took off into the sky and the Thestral flew towards Azkaban. They both ran back to their makeshift camp at the tree line and watched as Kirsch hovered in place, far enough around the building that if a chase ensued they would go nowhere near Laura and Perry.

For a minute nothing happened, and then they saw a bright burst of orange fire that erupted from the black dot that was Kirsch, directed at the building. Nothing moved for a long moment, the forest was even more unnaturally still than before. And then, on the side that faced Laura and Perry, a large square panel pushed out of the wall and slid downwards, leaving a pitch black opening. Then three people on brooms flew out.

Perry’s eyes went to Kirsch, who was still waiting there, having not seen the wall open up, and fear sliced through her. “Move, move, _move_.”

The three APOs rounded the corner of the building and started flinging stunning spells at Kirsch, but none of them seemed to hit as he dodged up and down on his Thestral before taking off at a speed that felt like it should have broken the speed of sound. Perry prayed that the straps would hold, whispering 'please' under her breath over and over. The APOs were left there in shock, two of them took off in Kirsch’s direction while the other one came back around the corner, flew into Azkaban, and the panel closed again.

Perry realised that she was gripping Laura’s hand so tightly that her knuckles were aching and she let go.

“He’ll be okay.”

Perry couldn’t tell for whose benefit Laura was saying it, but she appreciated the effort either way.

\---

Kirsch felt like he was choking on the wind even though he was pressed flat against the Thestral. He’d never gone at speeds like this, not even close, and sure it was thrilling but it was also making him feel light-headed. He thanked Perry in his head for insisting on the straps, without them he definitely wouldn’t have been able to hold on.

He couldn’t even look behind him to check if the APOs were keeping up, which probably meant that he’d lost them. They’d been on brooms, really impressive looking brooms, but they’d had a balanced build, which meant that there was no way they’d match his speed.

He didn’t really know where the Thestral was taking him, hell he was barely able to think about more than how _painful_ the wind was, but he trusted it.

His head was pounding, each beat of his heart felt like his brain was slamming against his skull. His lungs burned as if he was suffocating but he couldn’t manage to drag in a proper breath. _Fuck_.

He inched his hands down either side of the Thestral to the straps that were holding his legs in place. He wound his hands through them as his vision started to darken. A new, sharp pain pierced through his wrists as he twisted his arms to tighten the straps around them but he ignored it. He was effectively trapped now, flat against the Thestral’s back and unable to move a single muscle. He panted hard, still trying to drag even the smallest of breaths into his lungs before everything mercifully faded to black.

\---

Carmilla in Animagus form came skidding to a stop, causing the Animagus Danny to collide into her back. Danny gave an annoyed bark but Carmilla didn’t reply, continuing to stare at a spot in the distance. Then, without warning, she took off in the direction and Danny yelped unsurely before chasing after her.

Carmilla sprinted down the mountain towards the Forbidden Forest and Danny’s instincts were warning her against going in that direction but she pushed them aside. There was something about the way that Carmilla was running that made her know that this was something. Something important, maybe.

Or maybe Carmilla was tricking her. Either way, she wasn’t about to lose the cat who liked to act like she was so much better than her. Screw that.

Danny pushed herself harder, powering forward with every footfall. Her mouth fell open and she dragged in fresh air to propel herself forward as she ran. She could practically hear Carmilla’s disgust, and that may have helped her push forward harder so that she drew level with Carmilla. Of course the fact that she had no idea where Carmilla was going made her fall back again, marginally, so that she could follow the stubborn Ravenclaw.

They hit the border of the Forbidden Forest and Carmilla didn’t slow, leaping and dodging between the trees with ease while Danny had to let up slightly so that she wouldn’t be skidding into any trunks. That would give Carmilla way too much pleasure.

Finally, Carmilla eased up to a deliberate, careful walk as her eyes searched the forest. Danny lingered at her side, waiting for the reason why Carmilla had dragged them back onto school grounds. It made Danny a little nervous that if it came down to it she wouldn’t be able to disapparate, but the Animagus part of her was just eager to explore all the different scents that surrounded her right now. (She could swear that was unicorn – it smelled like rainbows and magic and sunshine.)

Carmilla’s ears twitched and she broke into a half-jog. Danny tore herself away from the amazing smell and followed Carmilla, a few steps behind, until Carmilla stopped again without warning and in front of them was an unconscious Kirsch hovering in mid-air strapped to an invisible animal.

Danny shifted into human form without thinking, running to Kirsch and stopping just short, staring at what she assumed was a Thestral, before throwing caution to the wind and closing the gap, undoing the straps and catching him as he fell towards her. She lay him on the ground, pulled out her wand and lit it to check him over for any injuries but he seemed fine – although completely passed out.

She rolled him over onto his front, picked him up by his armpits, and kneeled down so she could manoeuvre him into her shoulders before standing upright and shuffling her feet so that her stance was stable.

Carmilla still hadn’t shifted back from Animagus form, instead she just regarded the area just past Danny with a disdainful look that made her brown – very _human_ – eyes narrow.

Danny adjusted Kirsch so that his weight was better distributed and gripped his arm to steady him. “You coming?”

Carmilla yawned wide in her direction and Danny rolled her eyes. “Asshole.” She started to walk back to the Shrieking Shack and heard Carmilla following her a few paces back but didn’t say anything.

\---

“I don’t understand why you have to be such an asshole all the time.”

“To annoy you.”

“Ugh, grow up.”

“Only when it stops annoying you.”

“You are…. just… so…”

Kirsch groaned as he held his hand to his forehead. He was used to waking up feeling terrible - he was a Quidditch player after all -, but this was another level. It felt like poison had been pumped through his whole system and his muscles were completely destroyed. He recognised the lounge room of the Shrieking Shack, felt the warmth of the fire by his side and breathed a sigh of relief. On the Thestral's back it had felt like he'd never be able to feel warmth again, and he let the feeling of the fire seep right into his bones.

The Shack. Hogsmeade. The Thestral must have taken him back to the Forbidden Forest where-

He looked over to where Danny and Carmilla were arguing and they finally noticed that he was conscious. Danny was by his side in a second, her hand on his arm, which was totally awesome but also kind of hurt a lot, although he didn’t dare flinch from it.

“Hey,” he croaked.

“How are you feeling? Are you okay? What happened?”

He smiled, then winced because somehow even his face muscles hurt. “I poked the bear.”

“You-?” Danny frowned in confusion. “What?”

This time he smiled wide because _fuck_ pain, he had just poked the biggest bear there was and _survived_. Danny mirrored back the smile, but it was clearly just for his sake because she looked completely confused.

“We got an entrance,” he explained.

Danny stared at him for a moment and then she lunged forward to hug him, which, again, ow but awesome. She let him go, feeling him tense against the pain and bit her lip apologetically, settling for a gentle pat on his shoulder.

“I’m only going to do this once, Chewy.” Carmilla walked towards him and held up her hand. Kirsch looked from the offered palm to Carmilla’s face and she rolled her eyes and nodded. With a gleeful look he leaned forward and high fived her hand with a solid smack.

(And it felt like his arm was being wrenched out of the socket a little bit, and his wrist felt severely sprained or maybe mildly broken, but it was totally worth it.)

\---

LaFontaine had no idea what time it was – there wasn't exactly a clock on the wall. For all they knew they'd been in here for weeks, although their more realistic guess was days. They were lying on the cot in the corner, counting the tiles on the ceiling, when they heard two of the APOs talking down below. They strained their ears, any bit of information was precious, regardless of how inane it was.

“... They were on a freaking Thestral! I don't know what she expected us to do.”

“I know, I know.”

“Oh I'm sorry, is my story of how I got reamed out by Gensor boring you?”

“No, I just...”

Thestral.

LaFontaine's eyes widened. Perry.

Before they could relate this piece of news to Sasha they noticed an odd reflection of white light on the back wall of their cell and twisted their head to see that, on the other wall of cells, there was a cell with a white, glowing orb hovering in the centre of it.

LaFontaine hadn't seen anything like this before, it was disorienting to see something so bright after so much time in dim lighting and their eyes took a while to adjust.

In the other cell, Terry got up from his cot and stepped towards the orb, blinking in the intensity of the brightness. He was struck by how beautiful it was, how alien it was. He'd lost track of time since he'd been imprisoned, but in the light of this orb he forgot everything – why he was here, what it was like to live in darkness.

Then a bolt of white lightning shot out of the orb and hit him in the leg. He fell to his knees, his leg giving way underneath him. By the light he saw that his pants had been burned right through and the wound was now a pulsing black discharge. For a moment he was struck by the odd beauty of it, it looked like oil had spilled across his leg, and then the pain started.

The black started to make the outside of his skin bubble and the heat was so intense that he almost passed out – but something kept him conscious. Something kept his mind awake and aware so that he could feel the pain go from his skin to his muscle right through to the marrow of his bone. And then it started to spread up his leg, his hip, his waist, until everything that existed was pain and boiling and a smell that reminded him of a time that he'd burned bacon trying to cook his mum breakfast when he was 8 years old.

The black crawled up and up and up until he felt it reach his chest and his last thought was the face his mum had made when he'd offered her burnt crisps of bacon and blackened eggs.

LaFontaine reached over for Sasha's cell, not saying anything, not needing to. Sasha grasped their hand and together they wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	27. The Night Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for commenting, I'm sorry I've gotten lazy with replying - things have been kind of hectic with moving and life and whatnot but I will get back into it ASAP
> 
> Also, this week will be a special four-update week with the updates going up on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Enjoy!

All of the furniture in the Shrieking Shack had been moved to the edges of the room and the group were sitting in a circle on the floor around a hovering see-through model of Azkaban that Perry had charmed, including labels.

Everyone was staring up at it with daunted looks on their faces, except Perry whose face was screwed up in a stubborn look of determination. They'd been tossing around ideas for the past half an hour and were all feeling a little worn down when Kirsch suggested that he be the decoy again and simply lead the APO away.

“We need something a bit more stealth than throwing a fireball at the outside.” Carmilla eyed the prison diagram. Laura nudged her and she added, “Not that that wasn't cool or anything. But let's try to be stealth for like the first five minutes.”

The room fell silent again and Carmilla looked around at each of their faces. None of them noticed, too wrapped up in their own thoughts as they tried to come up with an idea that would work. She looked up at Azkaban, even in model form it cut an intimidating figure as it almost reached the ceiling.

“What if someone opens it from the inside?” Carmilla asked quietly, eyes fixed on Azkaban. Everyone’s attention was on her in a second, a mix of confusion and curiosity.

“Well,” Perry started slowly, hesitantly. “That would be ideal. But I don’t see how-”

Carmilla’s eyes finally dropped down to Perry’s and she said, still quietly but firmly, “I can do it.”

The room was silent but the air felt full of words – questions, demands, confusion. Carmilla remained still, her face blank, offering nothing.

Finally, Perry was the first to speak, clearing her throat and asking what everyone else was thinking, “How?”

“Does it matter?” Carmilla asked defensively.

For a moment Perry was taken aback, unsure of how to respond to that, and then she said, “Well, yes. We're a team, it would do well that we all know the plan.”

Carmilla didn't speak for a moment, instead choosing to stare up at the glowing orange Azkaban model. Then she set her jaw and nodded. “Fine. I went to Nowhere. He said he'd help.”

“All of us?”

She shook her head. “Just I make the trip. I go in, find my step mother, she tells me how to get you guys in.”

“Wait a second,” Danny interjected. “Your step mother? You can't seriously think that you can trust her in any way?”

Carmilla's voice was hard as she replied, “I don't trust her. But you weren't in that room. She will help me.”

“And if she's manipulating you?” Danny demanded.

Carmilla's face twisted. “What, just on the off chance that I would choose to break into Azkaban at some point?”

“I just think you need to put some more thought-”

“How about you put some fucking thought into it. This is the best option we have and you're saying no? Those are our people in there. LaFontaine. Sasha. The Department of Mysteries runs Azkaban and in case you've forgotten they're in the business of fucked up stuff. Do you want to save them or not?”

Danny fell silent, staring at Carmilla through the Azkaban diagram as it rotated slowly.

“I made this call because this is the best call to make. You want to make another call then find a better option,” Carmilla growled.

“Do you- do you think she'll know how to open the entrance?” Perry spoke up timidly, not wanting to break the tense silence but not able to hold back her question.

“She helped build it. She'll know something.”

Perry nodded and she started to speak out loud about their options moving forward.

It didn't occur to anyone to ask why Carmilla had taken so long to suggest it.

\---

Perry dismissed them for the night, saying that they'd leave tomorrow at sunrise. Night wouldn't offer them any real protection from the APO if they came after them, and Carmilla was right – they needed to act as quickly as possible because they didn't know what was happening inside Azkaban.

When Carmilla and Laura entered the bedroom upstairs Carmilla ripped off her jacket and tossed it onto the chair in the corner.

“I can't believe that... that mutt,” Carmilla seethed.

“I can't believe  _you_ ,” Laura replied as she sat down on the bed. Her voice was quiet but her tone was clear and it made Carmilla turn to her, frowning at her meaning.

“What are you talking about?”

“You asked me to stay away from Azkaban and you're going to go ask  _her_  for help? You're endangering yourself and you're endangering our friends.”

“You're siding with her?” Carmilla asked ludicrously.

“I'm not siding with anyone!” Laura took a moment to force herself to calm down as she closed her eyes and breathed slowly. She reopened her eyes and they were softer than before. “I'm not siding with anyone. But you have to understand how crazy this is.”

The fight left Carmilla as quickly as it had entered and she sat next to Laura on the bed, close enough that their legs were touching. “I know. And I know it seems like... a double standard.”

“It is a double standard,” Laura corrected her.

“You’re right,” Carmilla agreed. “It is.” Carmilla leaned into her, bumping her shoulder against Laura’s. “This wasn’t my first choice. But you were down there. We don’t have any other ideas that have a shot at working.”

Laura’s eyes searched Carmilla’s face for a long moment. “Was she really different? When you saw her?”

Carmilla nodded. “Yeah.”

Laura let loose a sigh of resignation and then leaned over to kiss Carmilla. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t trust her. But I trust you. I trust your judgement.”

Carmilla smiled, a small smile, a tired smile, and leaned in to kiss Laura again. “Thank you.”

\---

Kirsch lay on the mattress that Perry had transfigured and tried to ignore the aching in his bones as they healed. Danny had done her best to heal him from what she’d learned in auror training and it was slow going, but by tomorrow he should be alright. He wasn’t worried about that right now though, all he could think about was his little sister.

His hand went to his necklace and he rubbed the pendant between his thumb and forefinger. God,  _God_ , he hoped she was okay. She was one of his favourite people in the world and she was really weird in the coolest way and  _what would he do without her Christmas ornament this year?_

Fuck. He blinked as hard as he could and did his best to swallow part of the lump in his throat.

His stomach had been swirling ever since he’d first read the letter, at best he could ignore it, at worst he wanted to throw up. Right now was the worst.

It was his fault. He was the reason that Sasha was in Azkaban, because he was magical and if he wasn’t she wouldn’t have been held to such a stupid…

He pushed down the anger, instead focusing on the sound of Danny snoring next to him and the feeling of her hand in his. She’d reached out for his hand just before she’d fallen asleep, as if she’d known that he’d need it. That he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Her touch was light, light enough that it didn’t make his wrist hurt, but it was enough.

He loved magic but he wished that he could give it back, just be a non-magical, so that his sister could be safe.

A whisper in the back of his mind said that he didn’t know what she’d be like when (if) they rescued her. Their uncle had gone to non-magical jail when Kirsch was thirteen and he’d come out last year, and yeah Kirsch was young when he went in, but he was pretty sure that the same guy didn’t step out of there that went in. He was harder, rougher, meaner.

Sash was only eleven. She didn’t deserve to be hard or rough or mean, she deserved to be a kid. A kid who drew cartoon characters and talked animatedly about TV shows and raided the pantry with him at midnight during the summer holidays.

Back before he went to Hogwarts and his mum was working two jobs to support them he would be the one in charge of her because his two older sisters would sneak out to meet their friends. He read her stories and tucked her in and checked her room for monsters and slept on her floor whenever there was a storm.

He was meant to protect her. He was meant to keep her safe from things, but now he was the reason that she-

One of the stairs creaked and he leaned up on his elbow to see Carmilla standing there, glaring at the step.

“Can't sleep?” he whispered.

Carmilla looked up from the step to squint through the dark in Kirsch's direction. She seemed to weigh up what to answer before she just shrugged.

Kirsch untangled his fingers from Danny's slowly, letting her hand fall limp, before easing himself off the mattress slowly and walking over to the front door, gesturing for Carmilla to join him. Carmilla seemed surprised but she followed him outside anyway. He gave a shiver at the temperature drop outside the Shack, he probably should have grabbed a jacket or something. Carmilla was wearing the same as him but didn't seem bothered by the weather.

He held up his right hand and wiggled his fingers. “Arm's not letting me sleep,” he lied. He didn’t know why. He’d been keeping everyone so far from his feelings – he couldn’t bear letting them know just how broken he was, Even if his façade was starting to feel paper-thin.

He shouldn’t have worried, even though Carmilla nodded in response, her mind seemed far off.

Kirsch didn’t know what to say, tucking his hands into his pockets, but he knew that he had to say something because silence felt dangerous to him right now. “Hey, look, I wanted to thank-”

“Nothing to thank,” Carmilla cut him off without looking at him.

“That's not how I-”

“Drop it, Chewy.”

He fell silent, before finding a different tack. “Hey, so, if I'm Chewbacca does that make you Han and Laura Leia?”

“I'm almost flattered, geek.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Are we going to braid each other's hair afterwards?”

“I've never seen Star Wars. I mean, I like know the plot and everything but my family was into Star Trek.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow in reply and Kirsch nodded. “Seriously.”

“When we get back to non-magical world we're having a Star Wars marathon. With your whole family.”

The insinuation that this would include his sister was clear and Kirsch smiled. “Deal.” He glanced behind him at the Shack and then asked, “Want to go for a walk? You can get all panther-y if you want.” Carmilla seemed amused by Kirsch's offer and he just shrugged. “If you want. I mean stuff's kind of intense right now, and I figure it probably makes things easier.”

“You just want to see my Animagus form,” Carmilla accused him.

“If I had one I’d join you.”

Carmilla fell silent but she stepped off the porch and looked back at Kirsch expectantly. He hopped off the step and followed her, walking through the empty streets of Hogsmeade.

Silence had felt oppressive before but now it felt natural – Kirsch found himself lost in the memory of when he’d first come to Hogsmeade in third year. The feeling of discovering this bustling town, the amazing sweets and food and  _Butterbeer_. He’d been with the Zeta bros – with Will, he remembered with a twinge. Will had explained things to him with a disaffected air, but he had been amused by Kirsch’s excitement, even offered to buy him the flying toy car that he’d been eyeing at Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. Kirsch had refused, feeling a hot discomfort at Will’s full coin bag. Instead, he worked over the summer holidays, came back the next year and bought it himself.

He’d never forget Sasha’s face when he showed it to her and asked her to keep it safe while he was at school.

“Are you scared?”

Carmilla’s question threw him off. It wasn’t that he thought she didn’t care; he just knew that she showed it in actions not words. He thought about his façade, about protecting his friends from the dark guilt inside him.

“Yeah.”

His breath came out in a cloud of condensation and he remembered how Sasha always used to make condensation clouds with her breath and say that she was a dragon. Then she’d ask Kirsch to tell her about dragons.

“Are you?” Kirsch asked, not sure if Carmilla had been waiting for the question or if he was overstepping.

Carmilla’s eyes danced along the rooftops of the Hogsmeade buildings until finally she glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye and replied, “Yeah.”

“Dude.” Kirsch stopped walking and turned to Carmilla, causing her to stop as well and regard him curiously. “You don’t have to-”

“I do,” she cut him off simply. She didn’t seem angry, just matter of fact as she repeated evenly, “I do.”

His fingertips started to buzz and before he knew what he was doing he said, “It feels like my fault.” Once it left his mouth he wished he could grab the words and shove them back down his throat. He wasn’t meant to say that, he shouldn’t have said that. Shit, shit,  _shit_.

He didn’t dare look at Carmilla, knowing he’d see a disbelieving look. That she’d sweep his deepest, darkest thing aside as some dumb insecurity because it was. It was, even if it felt true right down to his core.

“I get that,” Carmilla said quietly.

Kirsch finally let himself look at her, his surprise catching him off guard. She could tell he was surprised and she just offered a shrug in return. Out of all the things he thought she’d reply, that was totally nowhere on the list and having her say that… It made him feel less like such a selfish idiot.

“But you know whose fault it really is right?”

He swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Are you angry?”

He barked a dry laugh and started to walk again, needing to walk again. Carmilla matched his pace effortlessly and if he wasn’t trying to wrangle his feelings back under control he would have been impressed. For a short person she could seriously power walk.

“You remember Eames?” It was a rhetorical question, but Carmilla nodded anyway. “Last year on the bridge he asked what I’d do if they took Sasha.”

“You’re a better person than he was.”

He rubbed the back of his neck with his palm. “I don’t know. I have you guys. She was the only thing he had.”

“He killed SJ,” Carmilla pointed out.

“I know,” Kirsch replied and the fact that he’d forgotten – even just for a split second – made his voice harder than it should have been. He realised that Carmilla would think that it was at her, instead of anger at himself, and he apologized quickly.

She waved it off. “It was a shitty thing for me to point out.”

They had reached the end of the path where a worn-looking wooden stile blocked off the way up to the mountains. Kirsch leaned on the top of it with his elbows and knotted his fingers together as he looked towards the mountain range.

“Do you ever wish you weren’t magical?”

“Yeah. Sometimes. Then my dad…” She put her hands on the top of the stile and hoisted herself up onto it so she was sitting down, facing the opposite direction from Kirsch. “And I probably wouldn’t be in so many life or death situations.”

“I love magic. But life seems like it would be, I don’t know, simpler?”

“We aren’t simple people.”

At that he twisted towards her and his eyebrows rose so high they almost hit his hairline. “You don’t think I’m simple?”

“If you were we wouldn’t be here.”

The statement was flawless in its simplicity and Kirsch smiled. “Thanks bro.”

Carmilla hopped up into a crouching position on top of the stile and stood, stretching her arms out to keep balance. “Now, you want to see this Animagus form or what?”

“Fuck  _yeah_.”

Carmilla smirked and shifted, her body shrinking and becoming longer, until a huge panther was standing on top of the stile and Kirsch almost tripped falling backwards at the size of her. “ _Dude_.”

\---

Laura reached out for Carmilla half-asleep, but when she only found cold sheets she woke up in a panic. She looked over at the empty half of the bed and saw the note –  _Gone for a walk_  – and her concern re-settled, although she still felt uneasy. She had dreamt that they broke into Azkaban and had all been captured, and remnants of her fear still coloured everything she felt.

She got out of bed; every hint of sleep had left her body, and wrapped her woollen jacket around herself before heading downstairs hoping that she’d find Carmilla.

There was no Carmilla, just Danny’s snores and Perry tossing fitfully in her sleep. Perry whimpered as Laura reached the bottom step and Laura went over to her, pulling the blanket that she’d twisted off back over her and up to her chin, humming soothingly and stroking her hair. Perry’s whimpers quieted but her brow was still furrowed anxiously. Laura stayed there, continuing to try and comfort her from her dreams, and eventually Perry’s forehead smoothed.

Laura noticed Kirsch’s absence and figured that he had joined Carmilla on the walk, which was odd because the two of them had never struck her as close, but it was good. Neither of them should be alone right now.

Laura sat down on Carmilla’s armchair and tucked her knees under her chin. She didn’t know what to do, but she knew that she didn’t want to stay in that bed alone. Not when all of them would be going to Azkaban tomorrow, not when this could potentially be the last-

No. She couldn’t think like that. She wouldn’t let herself.

It still bothered her that she had agreed to not go to Azkaban; it went against her every instinct, but she was doing it for Carmilla.

If only she could get the thought of LaFontaine and Kirsch’s little sister out of her mind. And all the other innocent people who were likely locked up in Azkaban. God, her mind spun with how many people must be wrongfully imprisoned, if only there were some way to get them out. It wasn’t like they could free them all, but…

Oh.

 _Oh_.

How had she not thought of that before?

Her thoughts were interrupted when Danny turned over in bed, her snoring ceasing and eyes opening slowly. When she spotted Laura she frowned and said sleepily, “You’re not Kirsch.”

“Nope,” Laura replied amusedly.

Danny squinted as she woke up more. “Oh, Laura. Hey.” She wiped at her mouth and sat up. “Were you watching me sleep?”

“No! I was…” Laura felt flustered but didn’t know why; it wasn’t like she was doing anything weird but now she felt like she had been caught. She changed the topic quickly. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Where’s Kirsch?”

“I think he went for a walk with Carmilla.”

“Weird.” Danny yawned and stretched her back, leaning against the back of the couch that Perry was asleep on. “Is Perry still asleep?”

Laura nodded, but from the couch Perry said, “Not anymore.”

Laura grimaced. “Sorry, Perry.”

“It’s okay.” Perry’s head appeared over the back of the couch and she rested her chin on the top of the cushion as she sighed. “I wasn’t going to get much more sleep anyway.”

“Are you okay?” Danny asked, tilting her head up to look at Perry.

“Bad dream.”

Danny and Laura both hummed in agreement.

Perry bit her lip and sat up, taking her chin off the cushion. “Do you guys think I’m being… unrealistic? With this whole thing, the break in. I mean, I want to save LaFontaine and Kirsch’s sister but if we’re just going to end up locked up next to them then…”

“Hey, no,” Laura interrupted her. “It isn't unrealistic, it's brave.”

“Some things are more important than if you can win,” Danny added.

Perry stared down at her hands as she picked at the loose skin around her fingernails. “In their letter to me LaFontaine said that they knew I didn’t understand, but that they had to stand up for what they believed in.” Perry picked at the skin with more erratic, rough motions. “They were wrong. I did. I do.” She cleared her throat, trying to rid her voice of the thick croak as she continued to think out loud. “They stood up for what they believed in and they were imprisoned for it.” She looked up at the other two, her eyes glinting defiantly as she came to a realisation. “If the government wants to do the same to me then let them.”

Danny and Laura beamed at her.

\---

“Do you think I could ride you?” Kirsch’s voice travelled up the path to the Shack. “Oh  _dude_  not like that. You know what I’m talking about.” A pause and then, “Shit sorry, I totally didn’t mean…” Kirsch paused and then laughed. “Bro, you’re such a troll.”

Laura bounced over to the front door and opened it, revealing Kirsch and Carmilla in Animagus form padding up the path. When Carmilla saw her she shifted back and smiled, and there was something about her expression that was lighter than it had been the previous night. Or earlier that night. It was still pre-dawn technically because the sun hadn’t risen, but the sky was starting to brighten.

“Hi.”

“Hey beautiful,” Carmilla greeted and pulled her into a kiss while Kirsch hung back on the front law, respectfully turning away.

“You seem…” Laura trailed off, not knowing what to say. Better? Calmer? More peaceful?

Carmilla ran her thumb over Laura’s cheek and smiled at her gently. “Sorry I went for a walk.”

Not for the first time Laura was struck by Carmilla’s beauty, at having her this close and feeling like her centre of gravity had shifted so Carmilla felt as inevitable as falling to the ground after a jump.

Laura shook her head, certain that there were stars in her eyes from staring at Carmilla. “Don’t apologise. Are you okay?”

“I am now.”

Laura giggled, but felt charmed at the same time. “You’re so lame.”

Carmilla’s lip curled up and she slid her arms around Laura’s back so that their bodies fit together. “Maybe,” she whispered as she reached up to brush aside Laura’s hair and press a kiss to her neck that left Laura breathless.

Behind Carmilla Kirsch cleared his throat loudly. “Yeah, so, I’m gonna go in.” He inched past them and Carmilla reached up to hit him on the back of the head. He turned to her, rubbing his head. “What dude?”

“If you ever try to ride me I will feed you your spleen.”

Instead of being intimidated by her threat, he just grinned at her and went inside.

“Should we go in?” Carmilla asked, her eyes soft on Laura’s face.

“In a minute.”

Carmilla appraised Laura. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I…” Laura shook her head. “I just had a bad dream.”

“What happened?”

Laura considered Carmilla, trying to judge if she was asking because she was being polite or because she really wanted to know. And if she should tell her (would it be a jinx?). “The break in.”

Carmilla just offered Laura a sad, gentle smile and leaned forward to kiss her softly. “It’ll be fine,” she promised as she leaned her forehead against Laura’s.

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can promise that I’ll try.”

Laura sighed and closed her eyes, trying to shut out all the things going through her head right now. “You better.”

“I love you,” Carmilla breathed out. Something about it was different, it held more gravity somehow.

Laura opened her eyes and leaned back so that she could look into Carmilla’s eyes without going cross-eyed. Carmilla’s eyes watched her carefully, as if this moment held some meaning to it that she daren’t say out loud.

“I know,” Laura said because she did, and she didn’t want Carmilla to think that she didn’t know. “I love you too.”

“No, I mean…” Carmilla’s eyes darted to the side, suddenly so much more nervous than a few minutes ago, before she refocused on Laura with an intensity that made Laura feel like she was staring right through to the centre of her. “I  _love_  you.”

“Yeah, I-”

“I’m in love with you,” Carmilla clarified, almost sounding frustrated, but it quickly changed to fear as she realised what she’d said out loud.

Right. That would be why Carmilla was acting like this, and Laura was quick to give her the most reassuring smile possible as she felt her heart skip several beats in her chest. “I know.” Carmilla narrowed her eyes at Laura’s response, which made Laura shrug casually. “You’re not subtle.”

Carmilla laughed, short but rich, and her lips pulled to the side in an uneven smile. “Shut up.”

“For the record, I’m in love with you too.”

“Damn right,” Carmilla mumbled as she pressed a kiss to the top of Laura’s head. Laura lifted her face to kiss her and Carmilla held herself just out of reach for a moment, eyes dancing with Laura’s, until she seemed satisfied with how long she’d waited and tilted in to kiss her.

Carmilla kissed her softly, slowly, memorizing how it felt to kiss her. Laura matched her pace, taking comfort in this moment – likely their last moment before Carmilla left.

The top of the sun crept over the mountains and when they separated Carmilla squinted at it, looking less than pleased about its appearance.

Laura tucked herself into Carmilla’s side, lips brushing against her neck as she said, “We should go in now.”

Carmilla’s arms wrapped around Laura, pulling her in even closer and swaying her slightly so that she fell against her with a giggle.

“In a minute,” Carmilla echoed Laura’s earlier words and Laura sank into her further without any argument as they watched the sun start to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	28. The Preparation

“What’s this?” Carmilla eyed the corked potion vial that Perry had handed her. It was a light blue with neon green streaks that sparked when it was tilted in the light.

“It’s LaFontaine’s twist on an invigorating draught,” Perry explained as she handed Kirsch and Danny vials of their own. “This weekend has been… long. We need to be on the top of our game.”

Carmilla continued to look at the draught suspiciously, it definitely didn’t look like the draught that she remembered making in potions class.

“It’s safe,” Perry reassured. “I’ve used it a few times around exams.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” Carmilla asked, trying to feign shock but the lilt in her voice came across as amused instead.

Perry gave her a look as she drank her draught and Carmilla smirked before downing hers in one go.

“I also have…” Perry started rooting through her bag, reaching into it as deep as she could.

“How many things do you think she has in that bag?” Carmilla asked out of the corner of her mouth to Laura, who nudged her and cocked her head towards Perry, trying to redirect Carmilla’s attention.

From Carmilla’s other side Danny kept her lips as still as possible as she muttered, “My bet is a whole house.”

Carmilla coughed to cover her laugh and quirked the corner of her mouth at Danny.

Perry pulled out four turtlenecks of varying colours. The four people in front of her looked severely underwhelmed; out of all the things that she had offered last year this seemed to fall somewhat short.

Carmilla picked up the pastel pink one that was closest to her and examined it skeptically. “Is this for if we get cold?”

“No!” Perry’s cheeks bloomed red as she picked up the baby blue one and held it to her chest. “They’ve been charmed.”

“With what?” Danny asked, wearing a matching skeptical look as she poked the lime green one in front of her.

“It’s like a memory charm. The moment someone looks away from you they forget they’ve seen you.” Perry picked at a non-existent loose thread on the turtleneck she was holding. “These were the only pieces of clothing I could get to hold the charm effectively.”

Kirsch gave the mustard yellow turtleneck in front of him an eager look and flashed Perry a thumbs up. “Dude. Super cool.”

“Memory charms don’t tend to hold for very long in clothing,” Danny recalled, still not looking sold on the turtleneck situation.

“We have half an hour or so from when they’re activated. Then they become ineffective.”

Kirsch’s enthusiasm grew. “That’s plenty of time! This is really awesome, P.”

This time Perry’s blush was happy, as she bunched her turtleneck between her fingers and smiled down at it. “Thank you Kirsch.”

“Do we have to wear it over everything or can we wear it under something?” Danny asked.

“You can wear it underneath.”

Danny's relief at that was obvious, her previously conflicted expression clearing.

Later on when Danny was putting her auror jacket over the turtleneck, Perry walked over and observed, “That jacket is important to you isn't it?”

Danny offered her a tight smile and nodded as she started on the buckles at the front of it, struggling to make them reach each other over the thick turtleneck.

“After taking those files...” Perry started and then stopped, not knowing how to finish the sentence. Danny snapped shut one of the buckles and looked up at her, something in her expression defiant in a way that made Perry squirm. Then she steadied herself, met Danny's stare, and asked gently, “You aren't an auror anymore are you?”

“No.”

“Does anyone else know?”

Danny paused, looking down as she fiddled with one of the buckles on the jacket, before she looked back up. “No.”

“Well...” Perry moved forward and gave Danny a quick squeeze of a hug, careful to not overstep. “Thank you.”

Danny didn't reply, just offering the most of a smile she could. After Perry walked away Danny stared down at the metal MLE crest on the coat. She ran her fingers along it, tracing the navy letters, then grasped the edges of the badge and ripped it off. She looked up to the ceiling, letting out a slow breath, before she straightened the coat as much as she could and walked back over to the rest of the group who were looking ridiculous in their clothing – excluding Carmilla who refused to put hers on until it was absolutely necessary.

When Kirsch had first tried to put his on the turtleneck had gotten stuck over his head, far too small for him, until Perry had charmed it to adjust its size and it slipped on. He gave her a goofy smile when his face reappeared and looked down at the now perfectly fitted sweater. “Thanks, P.”

Danny didn’t know why or how, but for some reason Kirsch looked really good in mustard.

She went over to him and shifted the sweater so that it sat better across his broad shoulders, and then smoothed her hands down his chest. His smile softened and his hands went to her elbows, holding her arms in place.

“Thank you.” He was looking at her like that again, like she was the sun, and she responded to it the only way she knew how – grabbing onto the sweater and pulling him down into a kiss. She could feel him grin against her mouth and she rolled her still-shut eyes.

On the other side of the room Carmilla was miming gagging while Laura giggled and told her off for it. Carmilla turned her full attention to Laura and gave her a smile full of affection.

“Promise me you’ll come back,” Laura said, the same words that she’d said to her last year, but with less desperation in them.

Carmilla recognised the words, the moment and what it had meant for them. She echoed what she’d said last time, “I promise.” She reached out and laced her fingers with Laura’s, pulling her in gently. “I will always come back to you.”

“Good because if you don’t I’ll totally track you down and kill you.”

Carmilla put her pointer and thumb to her forehead and tipped an imaginary hat. “Yes ma’am.”

Laura rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Kiss me, you dork.”

So she did.

Perry ran her fingers over the envelope that she’d kept on her for the past few weeks. She’d even slept with it – not that she’d admit that to anyone. Not because she thought they’d judge her, but because she couldn’t stand the pity.

After all this time the glue on the lip of the envelope had long worn off and it fell open naturally. She pulled the letter out and started to read it again, even though she had it memorised by now.

_Perr,_

_I’m sorry. I know that’s like the worst way to start a letter, and you have every right to be angry at me right now, but I really am sorry._

_By the time you get this I’ll already be gone. My parents sent me a letter asking me to join them at the protest, and that’s what I’m doing. I should have told you about it, but I knew what you’d say and you’d be right, but the thing is I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing it for me._

_I know that you don’t understand what I’m doing, but I have to stand up for what I believe in. And I believe in this with all my heart. I hope that you can find it in yours to forgive me one day._

_I love you more than anything. I will be safe, I promise, and I’ll come back as soon as I can and I hope that when I do we can talk._

_LaF_

Perry let out a long breath and closed her eyes, her fingers tightening on the edges of the paper, causing it to crinkle. She forced in a long breath and let it out, ignoring how it shuddered. She reopened her eyes and stared at the fire in front of her.

LaFontaine had been wrong. They weren’t safe and they didn’t come back, and Merlin knew if Perry would ever be able to talk to them again. If she’d be able to yell at them for leaving, or kiss them for existing, or tell them about her day, or show them how big Hades had gotten, or…

Perry blinked hard, praying that she wouldn’t cry. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry.

She looked down at the letter in her hands, at the words that had haunted her ever since the first time that she’d read them. Then she threw it forward into the fire, watching as the flames consumed the paper and ate away at the words.

Once the letter had been reduced to ash Perry stood and walked over to where the rest of them had gathered in a group. Carmilla’s eyes were on her closely and she gave a small nod to the Ravenclaw before turning her attention to the group in general.

Perry didn’t know what to say, it felt like the moment for an inspiring speech, or at least some words of wisdom. Something to acknowledge the weight of what they were trying to do, and the storm of emotion that they all were feeling. But nothing came to mind, nothing seemed _large_ enough.

So, instead she just asked, “Are we ready?”

And those three words had never sounded larger as each of them stepped in closer to form a tight circle in the middle of the room.

\---

Laura had insisted on accompanying them to the Forbidden Forest, arguing that it was on her way back to the castle, not that she’d met much resistance against the idea.

The Time-Turner was hanging around Carmilla’s neck already, and it swayed gently back and forth as they walked. Laura kept glancing over at it, something about it felt off to her in this unnameable way. She knew what it was like when Carmilla was holding things back from her, and she felt like it was happening now but she didn’t know why or what it was, but it felt like the Time-Turner was at the centre of it.

They were already at the back of the group, but Laura tugged Carmilla’s hand so that they fell back another few steps out of earshot of the rest of the group.

“Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” Laura said. The lightness that had been in the Shack was gone now, the mood shifting as the danger of Azkaban approached with each step. “Don’t be a Gryffindor. Come back to me.”

Carmilla smiled, soft and sad. “Always.”

When they arrived at the Thestrals Carmilla let her hand slip from Laura’s, moving towards the rest of the group. Laura felt the absence of her hand immediately, clenching her hand into a fist and rubbing her fingertips against the centre of her palm. She itched to reach out for her again, to do or say something that would make Carmilla’s promise a reality instead of something that could be broken by the universe.

Carmilla cast a look at all the others and gave them a crooked smile. “See you on the other side.”

Then she was gone.

\---

“You understand what you need to do?” the man from Nowhere asked. He hadn’t stood up from his chair the whole time, but somehow he was still looking down at Carmilla.

Carmilla’s hands were clenched so tight that she had to force herself to relax them before she broke something. “Yes.”

He nodded. “Good.” Then he offered her a smile that was all white teeth but didn’t reach his eyes. “Good luck.”

Carmilla stuck her middle finger up at him and then there was a bright flash and the truly nausea-inducing spinning that Carmilla swore was worse this time than any of the others and then…

She fell to her knees and had to put a hand on the ground to steady herself.

“Ass,” she muttered under her breath.

Once her head had stopped spinning so much she looked up and realised that she was at her step mother’s feet. Again.

 _Here we go_ , she thought to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	29. The Break In

There was a dull buzz in Carmilla’s ears and she shook her head to try and clear it as much as she could. Her step mother was standing in front of her, the chains that had previously secured her to the wall were no longer existent, although she was still wearing the same clean linen clothing.

“Carmilla.” Her step mother only looked mildly surprised at her appearance. “I didn’t know you were coming,” she said as if Carmilla was just casually dropping in.

Carmilla got to her feet, drawing herself up so that she wasn’t looking up at her (at least, not by as much). Without her heels her step mother was only slightly taller than her, and Carmilla felt a stab of pride at this.

“My owl must have gotten lost,” she snarked, albeit with less bite than she’d like. She took out her wand and touched it to the bracelet; the first one was to let them know she’d gotten in safe. The second would come when she opened the door.

The buzzing had faded and she clutched the turtleneck as tightly as she could. She shouldn’t activate it yet; they needed every second of the memory charm for later on. Her step mother’s attention drifted down to the sweater and she raised an eyebrow.

She eyed the turtleneck with sharp curiosity. “Is that a memory charm?”

“Yes.”

Lilita hummed and Carmilla saw her file the information away. Her grip on the sweater tightened. Her step mother swept the topic aside with a wave of her hand and offered a welcoming smile. “How can I help you?”

“You need to show me how to open the entrance. And then find some prisoners and help me get them out.”

“I see.”

“You owe me,” Carmilla reminded her but it was needless, her step mother was already moving past her to the wall. Carmilla watched her closely, distrust still clear on her face, but restraining herself from doing anything. Lilita raised her hand so that her palm was facing the wall and slid it to the right in a smooth movement, causing the wall to open.

“How did you-?”

“My imprisonment is a choice,” she explained lightly. “The chains you saw were for your comfort, not a necessity.” She stepped out into the hallway and looked back at Carmilla. “You’ll need to put that on now.” She gestured to the turtleneck.

“Won’t the memory charm affect you?” Carmilla asked, her curiosity trumping her other emotions.

Her step mother gave her a look that was somewhere between sympathy and amusement. “It’s been a long time since memory charms have had any effect on me.”

Carmilla slipped on the pastel pink turtleneck, rolled her eyes at the softness of the fabric, muttered ‘actuare’ under her breath and stepped into the hallway.

Instead of the many different turns that Carmilla remembered from her last visit, this time the hallway was just one long, straight line that her step mother walked through with authority.

They didn’t encounter another person in the hallway, and Carmilla was starting to suspect that they wouldn’t need the turtlenecks after all when they reached the dead end of the hallway.

Her step mother paused, showing hesitation for the first time. She turned to Carmilla. “We need to cross to the far end of the room, I’ll do so in Animagus form overhead while you distract them and when you take cover we can open the door for your friends.”

She waved her hand in front of the wall and it slid up to reveal a huge room that looked like an airplane hangar. The roof was incredibly high and the floor, walls and ceiling were all made from dull grey concrete, unlike the rest of the prison. Throughout the room there were stacked up metal containers of various sizes, seemingly organised by size. They were shielded from the room by one of the stacks, but Carmilla could already see several APOs.

Well. Now she was glad for the turtleneck. (Even if it was tickling the back of her neck.)

Her step mother shifted into a crow and took flight, heading towards the ceiling, and Carmilla watched her for a moment before she took in a quick breath and sprinted into the room.

She counted ten APOs after she rounded the box stack. No, twelve. They looked completely caught off guard by her appearance, some of them dropping what they were holding, and others just staring at her bug-eyed. She dodged past one of them and the APO reached out to grab her, their fingertips just scraping past her arm and she pushed herself harder. She chanced a glance up to see her step mother was ahead of her, almost on the other side already.

She jumped over a long, metal box that was about the size of a coffin, kicked out at an APO who tried to grab her by the ankles, and made the last sprint to the boxes by what she assumed was the entrance. She could hear an APO on her heels, panting so loud that she felt like they were almost on top of her.

Finally, she threw herself behind the storage boxes, landing hard on her forearms. She waited for a moment, eyes closed hard, trying to quieten her heartbeat so she could tell what was happening. Eventually her heart calmed enough and she looked up to see the crow regarding her with a tilted head. She turned back to the gap that she’d thrown herself through, but the rest of the room had returned to its quietly working state. She got to her knees and crept to the edge, peering around it to see that they all just looked confused, people picking up what they’d dropped, and the APO that she’d kicked in the face was rubbing his jaw and shrugged when another APO asked if he was okay.

She turned back to her step mother, who had shifted into human form, and was looking at her with something that could have almost been pride if it wasn’t coming from her step mother. The sick feeling in her stomach flipped and she swallowed hard. She tapped her wand to her bracelet and gestured roughly towards the door.

Her step mother waved her hands in an intricate pattern over the wall, muttering something under her breath. Wandless magic. Carmilla felt _some_ thing grow in her chest. Respect perhaps, which quickly turned into discomfort and dislike at feeling it.

Then the door began to open and there, hovering in the sky, was the rest of the group wearing their brightly coloured turtlenecks. Danny’s coat had unbuckled, the sides flapping in the wind and the lime green sweater flamingly bright against the coat’s muted colours. Kirsch spun something in his right hand and then pelted it forward into the room, so that it made a high arc and then smashed on the ground in the middle of the room.

Carmilla quickly cast a protective charm around her and her step mother, shielding them from the potion that left all the APOs unconscious. The potion mist cleared and Danny, Perry and Kirsch landed their Thestrals at the mouth of the entrance.

“Good job Karnstein,” Danny said as she dismounted. Carmilla just nodded in response, they were on borrowed time right now. Danny looked past her to her step mother, who was standing there with a composed expression on her face. Danny’s face hardened and she said sharply, “Where to?”

Lilita seemed entirely unaffected by Danny’s poisonous tone, simple asking, “What were their crimes?”

Perry stepped forward, anger setting her jaw. “They don’t have any.”

Without blinking she clarified, “What were they charged with?”

“Breaking the statute of secrecy and…” Perry looked to Danny, unsure of exactly what LaFontaine had been convicted of.

“Public disturbance and resisting arrest.”

Carmilla had learned how to read the smallest of expression changes in her step mother’s face over the years to try and avoid the worst of her temper, so she picked up the muscle in her jaw twitching and the slight narrowing of her eyes. She almost seemed angered by the disproportionate punishment.

(God, this was so weird.)

“They won’t be held in the normal cells,” she finally said in a clipped voice. She hesitated and then seemed to come to a conclusion, nodding. “We must get a Navigator.” She turned on her heel and started walking back through the room, to one of the side walls and they followed her, falling into a group formation naturally.

“What’s a Navigator?” Kirsch asked Perry quietly. “Is that like a GPS?”

Perry simply shrugged, keeping her eyes on the ex-Headmistress suspiciously.

Lilita stared at the wall in front of them and it opened. None of them could see into the room, it appeared to simply be an opening to nothing.

“How did you do that?” Perry asked.

Lilita didn’t turn when she replied, staring into the black emptiness and holding her hand out, palm up. “Azkaban was built with Legilimency in the walls, that is what makes it such a good prison. It appears as what you believe you should be seeing. Unless you know exactly where you are going, there is no way to escape.” A tiny pearl glow started in the darkness, getting larger and brighter as it moved towards them until it was hovering over her palm.

“That’s why your imprisonment is a choice.”

Her step mother looked at Carmilla out of the corner of her eye with a vaguely impressed look. “Yes. I studied Occlumency and Legilimency at a very young age. That was why they…” she hesitated. “Giving me the gift of guilt was the only way to keep me imprisoned.”

“Why do we need the Navigator?” Danny’s curiosity didn’t soften her voice as she stared at the glowing orb.

“I don’t know where your friends are, so I cannot mould the prison to take us there.” She looked at the Navigator. “This will. You must all concentrate on your friends now, picture them in your mind, draw upon your clearest memories of them.”

The orb hovered up and down for a moment and then the door that it had come from shut and the wall re-opened a moment later to a hallway, lit by dim blue torches. It looked like the hallway that Carmilla had take from her step mother’s cell, but somehow it felt different. The air felt thicker, heavy with something that set all of them on edge.

The orb continued forward unfazed, hovering along at head height. The group collectively took a deep breath in, as if wanting to avoid breathing in any of the air from the hallway, and moved closer together as they followed it in. The hallway was constricted for a few hundred metres, but then it opened up to a huge room, taller than the one they had just come from, but narrower. The height of the room wasn’t what struck them though.

From the floor to the ceiling there were hundreds - thousands - of cells as far as the eye could see and every single cell had a person in it.

Kirsch stepped ahead of the rest of them and stared up at the cells with a look of pure terror.

The orb continued to move ahead, hovering up so that it was roughly five metres off the ground, and it stopped in place. Kirsch ran over to stand below it, craning his neck.

“Sasha? Sasha!”

There was a long moment of silence and then-

“Brody?”

\---

When LaFontaine had first seen the orb floating up towards them they had cowered to the back of their cell.

No, _no_ , this couldn’t happen. They couldn’t _die_ in a cell in Azkaban. They were meant to make potions and heal people and grow old with Perry bickering about how LaFontaine refused to get rid of their first cauldron even though it had been exploded and put back together more times than they could count.

 _This couldn’t be it_.  

Then they heard Kirsch’s voice. Kirsch, huge-hearted, Quidditch genius, wonderful, amazing, _Kirsch_.

“LaFontaine?”

And _Perry_. LaFontaine rushed to the front of their cell, not even caring about the orb anymore, because Perry was here. They looked down to the ground and saw them there, _all of them_ , and they stared to cry as they thrust their arm between the bars and reached down towards them.

Perry reached up even though there was no chance of them touching, giving a half laugh, half sob. “LaFontaine!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	30. The Break Out

“How do we get them down?”

Lilita had been staring up at the cells, surveying them with a look that cut somewhere between curiosity and disgust. She turned her attention to Danny indifferently, which already had Danny’s teeth bared, before her response of, “Is that not up to you? I cannot do all your work for you, dear.”

Danny lunged at her, but Carmilla stepped in between them smoothly and shoved Danny back.

“Lawrence,” she said, sharply enough that it diverted Danny’s glare from Lilita down to Carmilla. “Cool off.”

“Cool off? This is your… she….” Danny gestured at her animatedly, running out of words to say and instead settling for emphatic movements and narrowed eyes.

“I’m aware. Doesn’t mean you should get into a fist fight while we’re breaking into Azkaban.”

Danny glared down at Carmilla and then huffed, walking away with her hands raised.

“Thank you. I doubt Miss Lawrence’s opinion of me would have improved if I’d had to stop her assaulting me.”

Carmilla didn’t look at her step mother as she muttered, “It wasn’t for you.” She glanced at her and said sternly, “Stay here.” She walked off in the same direction as Danny, to where the other two were discussing things that they could do to get them out.

“We could use a shrinking charm, so they can walk through the space between the bars,” Perry suggested.

“Then how do they get down?”

Perry gave Danny a look and reached into her bag to pull out a broom.

Kirsch lit up and reached out for it, making grabbing motions with his hands. Perry pulled it just out of his reach. “Do you know how to perform the shrinking charm perfectly?”

“I…” His face twisted, suddenly full off uncertainty, and his shoulders drooped. “You should do it.”

Perry seemed guilty for a moment, but the time constraints only allowed for her to press her hand to Kirsch’s shoulder and then mount the broom and fly upwards.

When Perry drew level with LaFontaine and Sasha’s cells, LaFontaine’s face broke out into a huge smile.

“Sash, this is Perry, my girlfriend that I told you about.”

“Hi,” Sasha said shyly, giving her a small wave.

“Hi Sasha. Now I’m going to do some magic on you and it’s going to be pretty weird, but you’ll be super tiny and I’m going to need you to walk out through the bars and onto my hand okay?”

Sasha’s eyes widened but she nodded firmly, getting a determined look on her face.

Perry sucked in a quick breath, made a silent prayer and aimed her wand at the young girl. “Reducio.”

On the ground floor, Kirsch was struggling trying to see what was happening. “Do you think they’ll be okay?”

Danny squeezed his bicep comfortingly. “I’m sure they’ll be fine. Perry’s amazing at charms.”

“Right, yeah.” His expression changed, disappointment leaking into his demeanour and furrowing his brow.

“Are you okay?” Danny asked him quietly.

“Yeah,” he replied unconvincingly. “Totally.”

Perry flew back down to the ground, carefully holding the two in her hand, and then she let them down onto the floor and performed an engorgement charm so that they returned to their normal size.

Kirsch rushed forward to sweep his sister into his arms, holding her to him as tightly as he could with his eyes closed and whispering things into her ear. The gentle sound of sobbing came from the two, but it was impossible to tell who was crying.

Once Perry dismounted from her broom and put it away she and LaFontaine stood still in front of each other, unsure of how to progress. Their initial excitement had worn away, leaving them with the reality of how they had parted. LaFontaine felt guilty, and Perry couldn’t discern what she was feeling. After a long moment, Perry launched forward and hugged LaFontaine because even after everything, they were still her best friend.

Once greetings were out of the way, Perry took charge of the situation.

“We need to get back to the entrance and leave. The memory charm will be wearing off soon.”

“Oh, yeah.” Kirsch pulled off his turtleneck and handed it to Sasha, who looked at it skeptically. “Magic, put it on.” She slipped the jumper on, which was still fitted for Kirsch’s body so it hung down around her knees and she had to roll the sleeves up so that her arms weren’t lost in the fabric.

“Please,” a hoarse voice whispered from one of the cells near them. “Please take me with you.” In the dim lighting they couldn’t see his face properly, but as he inched forward his opaque white eyes came into view. “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” Perry stuttered. “We can’t.”

“Please,” he repeated.

Perry backed away from the cell, looking horrified and guilty as she did.

“ _PLEASE_ ,” he roared, his voice filling the room, drawing the attention of every one else in the cells. Suddenly there were hundreds of hands reaching towards them, voices raised in unison as they begged to be freed.

Carmilla’s eyes darted around them, searching either end of the hallway. “We have to go. Now.”

They started to run back towards where they came from, but the sound of boots on the floor made them turn and sprint in the opposite direction instead.

“Can we take this way and still end up at the entrance?” Carmilla asked as they ran.

“Yes.”

Carmilla noticed that her step mother, somehow, still managed to look graceful and composed as she ran, her hair swaying in the wind and her breathing not compromised in the least. She rolled her eyes, of course.

As they ran through the hallway the arms kept reaching for them, at one point someone managed to grab at Danny’s coat and she had to yank it out of their hands. As she pulled it from their grasp she saw their eyes - young and terrified - but there wasn’t enough time to feel guilty; that would come later.

Sasha had fallen behind the group, unable to keep up with their pace and the APOs were gaining ground. Kirsch grunted as he swung her up into his arms, holding her to his chest and refusing to look behind him.

They approached the other end of the hallway and Lilita swept her hand up, opening the wall and leading to the entrance room. They all made it through and it closed behind them, they had to hope that the APOs wouldn’t guess where they were headed since not all of them were covered by the memory charm.

The APOs in the entrance room were, thankfully, still unconscious.

“Find the Thestrals, we’ll stay here,” Carmilla ordered, stationing herself in front of the wall that they had just come through. She drew her wand and scanned the walls for any sign of opening, while her step mother seemed less than impressed at being volunteered.

The Thestrals, which had previously been waiting at the mouth of the entrance, had disappeared and Perry ran to it, searching the grey sky for them. Then, in the distance, a black dot was fast approaching and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Except it was only one dot, not a group of them.

As it sped closer Perry realised that it was Hades, who was still far too small to carry anyone on his back. He landed in front of her, eyes wild and scared, and she gave him a hug.

“What’s wrong? Are the Thestrals not here?” Kirsch asked, still holding his sister in his arms.

Perry turned to Kirsch, tears in her eyes as she replied, “No. Hades is the only one.”

“Why?” He stepped forward, hard. “Where are they?”

“I don’t know,” Perry replied, honest and hopeless.

Kirsch glanced around at everyone, who had started to sag in place, realizing that maybe they had been expecting too much. Maybe they had failed. His jaw set.

“Would he be able to carry Sasha?”

Perry looked up at him and a sliver of relief entered her expression. “Yes.”

“Okay.” He put Sasha down and leaned down to be at her eye level. “So there’s this invisible magic horse over there and he’s going to fly you back home okay? You just gotta tell him where it is.”

Sasha looked over at Hades. “He’s not invisible.”

Kirsch’s expression cracked for a moment but he pushed past it quickly. “Right, I forgot how smart you are.” His voice cracked with the lie, but Sasha didn’t seem to notice as she stared up at him with huge eyes.

“Brody, I’m scared,” she admitted in a small voice.

He grabbed her into a hug. “Hey, trust me okay? You’ll be fine, you’re a total badass. I’ll see you at home, okay?”

Her eyes darted around. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“One hundred percent, Sash. I love you. Say hi to everyone for me, yeah?”

She nodded. “Okay.” Then she went over to LaFontaine and threw her arms around them. “Thank you,” she mumbled.

“I’ll come visit you, okay?” LaFontaine said and Sasha nodded, still looking doubtful but smiling hopefully through it.

Perry helped Sasha climb on top of Hades and ran her hand through his mane, pressing her lips to his neck and whispering a thank you.

After Sasha left Kirsch turned to Perry. “What about the Floo network?”

“Kirsch, you genius!” Perry exclaimed and Kirsch blushed.

The wall that Carmilla and Lilita were standing in front of slid open and they both threw stunning spells at the APO that were there and closed the door again.

“Guys, whatever you do, do it fast. Someone’s going to start noticing that half the APO are unconscious,” Carmilla called over her shoulder.

“Do you know where the Floo network connection is?” Perry asked Lilita, who nodded. “Take us there.”

She opened the hallway up and Danny, LaF, Perry and Kirsch all walked into it. Carmilla grabbed her step mother by the elbow (touching her made her feel instantly uncomfortable, but she shoved the feeling aside).

“You guys get out safe,” Carmilla said and then she took out the Time-Turner and slipped the necklace over her step mother’s neck as well as her own and turned it, causing them both to disappear with a pop.

“What the fuck was that?” Danny demanded.

“Why was the ex-Headmistress even with you guys?” LaFontaine had left the question unsaid, but they’d waited long enough because seriously what was happening right now?

“We have to move,” Perry said as she looked around the room where the APO were starting to stir.

Unable to close the door behind them, they simply ran forward to the end of the hallway, which made a sharp left and then at the end of it was, incredibly, a door. An actual door labeled ‘Floo Transport’.

The sounds of shouting at the other end of the hallway followed them down it, and they raced towards the door as fast as they could.

Danny reached the door first, thanking Merlin for an actual door knob as she ripped the door open and waved them through it. “Come on, come on, come on!”

LaFontaine and Perry were bringing up the rear, but Kirsch waited to go in until they were through, his eyes darting around the hallway behind them. One of the APOs rounded the corner with their wand up and Kirsch thrust himself forward as a shield, catching a blinding white lightning bolt on his right bicep. He grunted and flung his arm up, shooting a stunning spell at the APO and hitting them square in the chest.

“Kirsch, come on!” Danny shouted. He looked back, everyone else was in the room so he scrambled in, ignoring the searing yet somehow also freezing pain that was aching through his arm.

Danny closed the door as soon as he was in and immediately went over to the large incinerator on the opposite wall. She had seen Floo Network access points like this, they were used for Ministry locations that often needed to transport large items or groups of people at the same time.

“Oh Merlin, Kirsch!” Perry exclaimed, staring at his arm.

“What? I’m okay, I-” He looked down at his arm where he’d been hit and there was an already festering shiny black wound that was pulsing. “Oh.”

LaFontaine’s blood ran cold as they recognised the horrendously familiar wound. “Shit. Okay, Kirsch you need to lie down.”

“Is everything okay?” Danny asked as she was fiddling with the incinerator, trying to get the huge metal door to open.

“Do you have any potions on you?” LaFontaine ripped open Kirsch’s shirt to reveal that the pulsing, oozing blackness was spreading down his arm and up to his shoulder at a vicious speed. LaFontaine undid Kirsch’s belt and tore it from the belt loops, wrapping it around his shoulder and securing it as tightly as possible to try and slow the black from spreading towards his heart.

“I don’t have any left,” Perry said, her face completely white.

“Danny!” LaFontaine called out to the Gryffindor without missing a beat.

“What?” Danny looked over her shoulder and her face paled considerably. She looked torn between continuing to work with the incinerator and going over to them.

“Potions, now!” LaF shouted and Danny snapped out of her reverie, unclipping her potions from her belt and throwing it over to LaF. LaF quickly looked through the vials and listed, “Blood replenishing potion, common and uncommon poison antidotes, and an exploding potion.” They glanced back down at Kirsch whose face was twisted into a painful scowl as he panted. “What I'd give for a restoration potion.”

Kirsch let out a loud groan through gritted teeth and LaFontaine’s eyes went from the wound to the potions in their hands.

“LaFontaine?” Perry asked, her voice and face tight with worry.

Kirsch reached out with his uninjured left hand as another wave of pain wracked his body. Perry quickly grabbed his hand with both of hers and patted it. “Squeeze as hard as you need sweetie.”

The black had started to creep just past the line of the belt, and it had reached down to his wrist, when LaFontaine took in and let out a quick breath. “I have to do it.” Then, to Kirsch they said, “Kirsch, I’m so sorry. This is going to hurt a lot but if I don’t do this you’ll die.”

“Do it,” Kirsch said through gritted teeth.

LaFontaine nodded and uncorked the exploding potion. With precise hands they tapped out half a drop of the potion onto the wound on his arm, the clear blue absorbing into the black, and then quickly covered it with Kirsch’s tattered shirt. For a moment nothing happened. Then there was a blue flash and the shirt was stained a dark, thick red.

Kirsch let out an inhuman scream.

\---

Perry and LaFontaine were propelled forward out of the fire to fall onto their hands and knees on the floor. Shortly afterwards Danny came through as well, holding an unconscious Kirsch, and they all looked around them in confusion - this was definitely not Hogwarts. It looked like the Leaky Cauldron, only completely empty, but that was definitely not where they had told the incinerator to send them.

The door slammed open and a troop of APOs marched into the pub, lining the walls and surrounding them but not doing anything. Yet.

Once the APOs were done filing into the room the door remained open. Danny and LaFontaine were eyeing the APOs around them, hands itching for their wands, but Perry kept her attention on the doorway. After a moment, a very ordinary looking woman stepped through and regarded them coldly.

“Daniella Lawrence. Brody Kirsch. Lola Perry. LaFontaine. You are all being charged with breaking into Azkaban, freeing prisoners, assaulting officers, and causing damage to government property.” She glanced towards the APO closest to her. “Arrest them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	31. The Holding Room

Kirsch woke up to the feeling of a sharp shooting pain in his right arm. He groaned and reached for it, it felt like he was being stabbed right through the muscle, but he didn’t find anything there. He didn’t-

His eyes flew wide open and he threw the blanket aside to see…

Oh God.

Oh _God_.

“Kirsch? Kirsch!” Danny’s face was in front of him and…

Kirsch fell back onto the bed, unconscious again, and Danny pulled the blanket back up to his chin, tucking him into it but avoiding the space where his arm had once been.

“How long do you think we’ve been in here?” LaFontaine asked absently.

“Why does it matter?” Perry snapped back. LaFontaine was caught off guard by her hostility, but just shrugged in response and muttered that they were curious.

Danny ran her hands through Kirsch’s fringe, pushing it off his damp forehead and praying that he’d at least have nice dreams. “They haven’t sent us to Azkaban yet. They’re waiting on something.”

“Maybe we’ll actually get a trial.”

“You didn’t get a trial last time?” Danny asked, finally turning to look at the other two.

LaFontaine shrugged a shake of their head. “I was told what I was charged with, then I was in my cell.”

“Well per _haps_ it’s the fact that we broke into Azkaban,” Perry said in a strained voice, her hands flying erratically through the air.

LaFontaine looked over at Perry, unsure of how to react, unsure of how to deal with a clearly furious Perry when they weren’t sure exactly why she was so furious.

“Maybe they want to find out how a bunch of teenagers broke into one of the most secure prisons in the world,” LaFontaine offered in the lightest tone that they could.

Perry just made an offended sound and retreated to the furthest corner from the rest of them. They had been placed in what they assumed was a holding cell in the Ministry, instead of the clean, shining black tiles of Azkaban the room was drab, one would assume abandoned from the stain on the corners of the ceiling, and the cot that was more springs than cushioning that Kirsch was lying on. They’d at least had the decency to have a healer look at him, although they hadn’t said a single thing, just closed the wound.

As Quidditch players they had all seen their fare share of terrible injuries that had been healed, but they had also seen the putrid blackness that the spell had caused. Healing could only go so far.

Danny hummed a tune under her breath as she sat cross-legged next to Kirsch, letting her fingers drift through his hair, and hummed the song that her mother used to hum when she was sick. It always made her feel better – she just hoped it would do something for Kirsch.

LaFontaine kept glancing towards Perry, who was very purposefully avoiding their eyes. They sighed. After the whole being sent to Azkaban thing they had definitely pictured their reunion with Perry differently. They looked over at Kirsch and Danny.

Far differently.

\---

Carmilla blinked in the white of Nowhere. The man was sitting on his desk, his lips curled into a tight-lipped smile as he swung his legs back and forth over the ground, the soles of his feet brushing over the floor rhythmically.

Next to Carmilla her step mother let out a small sigh. “Of course.”

“Lilita,” the man said, his lips parting to a predatory smile as his eyes landed on her.

“Hello Mallory,” she replied in a bored voice. “I would say that it’s a pleasure to see you again, but I think I shall save us both that dishonesty.”

His eyes sparkled as his smile grew. “Oh, but Lilita you are mistaken. This is quite the pleasure for me.”

Lilita ignored what he said, picking at a piece of lint from her clothing. “You used my step daughter to get to me? How utterly pedestrian. Exactly like you.”

His smile turned into a snarl as he growled, “There aren’t a lot of options when you’ve been exiled to Nowhere.”

“Exiled? Oh, you can’t possibly blame me for you getting yourself stuck.” Her voice dripped with honeyed sarcasm and an intense flash of anger tore through his expression. A chain whipped out of the wall behind them, wrapping around Lilita’s neck and slamming her back until she was flush against the wall, the chain tightening around her neck with each moment and straining her skin a bloodless white.

“Careful Lilita. You are in my domain.”

She stared back at him, unruffled by the way her throat was being wrung by the metal chain. He pushed off the desk and walked up to her, keeping out of arm’s reach as he examined her with hungry, manic eyes.

Carmilla dropped her eyes to the floor, unable to watch the woman who had tortured her for so long be held like this. What should have felt like justice just felt like cruelty. “Are we done?”

Mallory turned to Carmilla, his eyes pitch black and bottomless. “Yes.”

“Carmilla,” her step mother spoke steadily even though her voice was strained through the chains.

It took half a minute for Carmilla to be able to raise her eyes to look her step mother in the face. She expected anger, raging fury, but only found neutrality.

“Is this your wish?”

In that moment Carmilla knew that her step mother could break out of those chains, perhaps even to get out of Nowhere without the help of the guardian, but that this – like Azkaban – was some way to try and rebalance the scales for everything she’d done.

It made her livid.

How  _dare_ she think that allowing herself to be chained to a wall was some form of penance. It wasn’t penance, it wasn’t redemption, it was  _laziness_.

Anger flashed through Carmilla’s body - once, twice, three times - sweeping over her and setting fire to every part of her, reducing every other emotion, thought, everything, to ash so that the only thing that existed was her rage.

Mallory flew to the side, but Carmilla didn’t even register it. No, all that mattered, the only thing in the entire _universe_ that counted for anything was her step mother.

The chain around her neck tightened far more, and she made a strangled sound as Carmilla took several hard steps towards her feeling like a black fury was pouring off her. It wasn’t the absence of colour, no, it was a very real, very thick choking blackness that felt like oil spilling from her pores and filling the room.

Her step mother never looked away from her, although her face was going red and her neck was going blue, she didn’t move her eyes from Carmilla’s.

Then, there – fear.

In her step mother’s face, in the smallest movement of her eyebrows, was fear.

Suddenly Carmilla’s scope expanded, and she realised that white of Nowhere had changed, it was now black. The walls, floor, ceiling, table, chair; everything that had previously been blinding white was now a flat, matte black.

The chains that were around Lilita’s neck slackened, letting her drop to her knees and take in long, gasping breaths. She put a hand to her neck, rubbing the area that was now bruised as she got to her feet slowly.

Shame swept over Carmilla, as completely as the anger had, but it felt cleansing in just how thoroughly it removed the anger from her body. She suddenly felt lighter, but in a different way heavier. Weariness had soaked into her muscles, right through into the marrow of her bones.

She rounded the table and collapsed into the chair, letting herself be sucked into the leather. (God, she was tired.)

Her step mother walked over to the desk, swaying slightly as she did, and placed her palm on it to steady herself. “Carmilla.” Her voice was hoarse, rough and old in a way that Carmilla had never heard before.

She looked to the side, unable to see what she had done to her, and realised that Mallory was no longer there. She frowned, he was the guardian of Nowhere. How could he be gone, he…

“Carmilla,” her step mother spoke again, straining her voice to try and reclaim Carmilla’s attention.

When Carmilla finally looked up at her step mother all she could see was fear.

\---

LaFontaine was sitting on the floor, back against the wall, about to nod off when the metal door swung open and they jerked awake, jumping up into a crouching position before they knew what they were doing. After a moment they realised that crouching was probably not the best offensive position and they stood up, brushing themselves off.

A tall man dressed in an auror uniform with a long scar across his face stepped through the doorway and he scanned the room with his clear blue eyes, until they settled on Danny.

“Lawrence.”

Danny snapped to attention, letting go of Kirsch’s hand so that she could stand up straight and square off her shoulders. “Sir.”

“Lola Perry.”

Perry stood from her spot in the corner and walked over to him hesitantly. “Yes?”

“Do you agree to an interview with Veritaserum?”

“Sir?” Danny asked from behind Perry, but he ignored her. Perry looked up at him, her fear clear but she pushed past it as she nodded.

He turned on his heel and walked out of the room with Perry in tow. Once the door was closed Danny stayed standing for a moment longer, her body still rigid with duty, until LaFontaine asked, “Why do you think they’re interviewing her?”

Danny dropped back down to Kirsch’s side, holding his left hand between both of hers. “To know what happened in Azkaban.”

“Well, yeah, but do you think they’re investigating the system?”

Danny stayed silent.

“Danny?”

“That,” she agreed. “Or, they want to know exactly what to charge us with.”

\---

“What do you mean?” Carmilla asked. She searched herself for something different, some feeling that proved what her step mother had just told her. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“You sent Mallory from here, only one person can do that.”

“I am not the guardian.” Carmilla stood suddenly, the exhaustion gone, replaced with an agitated energy as she paced from wall to wall. “I can’t be.”

“The role transfers to those who show greater magic skill.”

“Greater magic…” Carmilla echoed under her breath and then scoffed. “That’s…”

“You are a powerful witch, Carmilla,” she said in a soft voice.

“Shut _up!_ ” Carmilla swung her arm in her step mother’s direction and she disappeared in a blink.

Carmilla stopped mid step, staring at where her step mother had previously been standing and where there was now nothing. Her step mother’s words echoed in her head, again and again. She pressed the heel of her palms to her closed eyes, so hard that colours burst all over her eyelids. Her fingernails dragged through her scalp and she tried to anchor herself to the feeling as her breathing got shallower and shallower.

She dropped to her knees, ignoring the ringing pain, and buckled into herself. Her shallow breaths were echoing in her ears, loud and hard and oh _God_.

 _Oh God_.

_Laura._

\---

“Laura?”

LaFontaine peered at the person standing in the doorway and yes, as long as they hadn’t started hallucinating, Laura Hollis was standing in the doorway with Perry and the auror from before standing behind her.

Laura rushed into the cell and threw her arms around LaFontaine, hugging them tightly and making high-pitched noises of happiness into their ear, which was totally okay right now.

“What are you doing here?” LaFontaine pulled back from the hug and asked with a worried expression, “Are you being charged?”

“No, I’m rescuing you! I told Head Auror Pullen what you were imprisoned for and he agreed that it was totally not kosher so you’re all going to have a trial.” Laura considered her words and clarified, “A real trial. And he thinks we have enough to overturn the system and release all the wrongfully imprisoned people in Azkaban!”

“Holy batwing, Laura Hollis, how did you swing that?”

She shrugged casually. “I know his daughter.” She bounced over to Danny, giving her a warm hug and looked around the room. “Where’s Carm?”

LaFontaine made eye contact with Perry over Laura’s shoulder and felt their heart start to break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	32. The Store

Kirsch dodged past one of the Christmas decorations that littered the streets of Diagon Alley. It was only the beginning of December and the early appearance of decorations added to the furrowed crease of his brow as he jammed his hand deeper into his robe pocket.

It wasn’t Christmas break yet, but he’d taken a fully-grown Hades to Diagon Alley after Aprils had told him for the millionth time that his dad was really keen on seeing him. (Aprils had meant during the Christmas holidays, but whatever, these days the professors all skated past him guiltily and he could do whatever he wanted without any consequences. Besides, it was a Sunday, so it wasn’t even like he was skipping class.)

The bitterness had become a close companion. Ever since he’d woken up in his bed at Hogwarts and realised that it wasn’t a nightmare – that his right arm was gone, as was his shot at playing professional Quidditch. Hell, even at playing _school_ Quidditch.

No, he couldn’t think about that now.

He shoved his way into the Aprils store, scowling at the holly above the doorway, and a bell tinkled lightly.

The inside of the store was dim, the only light came in from the dirt-crusted windows, and it took a moment for Kirsch’s eyes to adjust. The store was full of all sorts of things, most of them unfamiliar in design, but all of them held the promise of some magical ability. When Aprils’ father had fallen in love with a non-magical he had been taken in by the culture, so a lot of his products skewed towards the combination of magic and non-magic items.

There was a crash from somewhere in the back of the store and then a snap and the store was flooded with light from – Kirsch realised with a raised eyebrow – lightbulbs that were all over the ceiling in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There were so many that it was blinding, although none of them seemed to be attached to anything in particular.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Aprils’ father stumbled out from behind a leaning column of boxes and waved his wand at the ceiling so that the light bulbs dimmed to a more comfortable level. He was a short man, only coming halfway up Kirsch’s torso, and was bald on most of his head excepting a poof of grey hair that went around the back of his head from ear to ear. He was wearing a stained work apron and thick glasses, so thick that they distorted his eyes, making them bulbous and huge against his small head. He examined Kirsch closely, squinting as he stared up at him, and then he stuck out his calloused hand. His _right_ hand.

Kirsch swallowed the feeling of shame and held out his left hand to shake it awkwardly.

Aprils’ father didn’t even blink as he shook Kirsch’s left hand firmly.

“Nice to meet you, Kirsch. Peter’s told me a lot about you.” He dropped Kirsch’s hand and looked at where his right arm should be. “Can I take a look at it?”

Kirsch didn’t know if he hated or loved how blunt he was being. It was certainly new, most people had no idea what to say to him and just ended up skirting the topic or not talking to him at all.

Kirsch hesitated for a long moment, but the way Aprils’ father was looking at him reminded him of a doctor, not disgusted or morbidly curious, just sort of businesslike about the whole thing. And for some reason that made it okay. Kirsch eased his robes off, throwing them over the counter next to him. The right side of his shirt hung there, empty, and as he started to undo the buttons and shoved it off his right shoulder he looked determinedly in the other direction. His eyes found a ragdoll leaning against the end of a shelf, looking like it hadn’t been touched in a long time, and he stared at it as hard as he could.

He could feel eyes on his shoulder, examining him, and he swallowed hard.

Julie, that was the doll’s name he decided. Julie. _Julie_.

The scrutiny of his arm eased as Aprils’ father moved back and Kirsch pulled his shirt back over his shoulder, pulling it shut around him.

“There’s not much left is there?”

Kirsch winced, but the question clearly wasn’t directed at him as Aprils’ father walked over to one of the sections of the store, stepping over piles of things, to start rifling through the towering shelves.

“How would you feel about a strap that goes around your chest?” he called out across the store.

Kirsch felt like he couldn’t speak, his throat full of sawdust.

Aprils’ father poked his head around the corner. “Nothing too bulky, just something to secure it in place.”

Kirsch frowned and his curiosity got the best of him. “Secure what in place?”

“Your new arm,” he replied as if it was obvious. When Kirsch’s confusion didn’t ease he went on, “Didn’t Peter tell you? Well, I suppose he didn’t want to get your hopes up, and I don’t want to either, but I’m quite sure I can make you a new arm.”

“I don’t- I don’t want-”

“Just let me try something quickly okay? If you hate it you can say no.”

Kirsch didn’t know what to say so he just shrugged. The idea of a prosthetic had been pushed onto him a lot in the beginning, but he’d shoved it as far away as he could. Now, a month later, and in this shop of odds and ends, with this man who didn’t flinch, he figured he may as well try it.

Aprils’ father disappeared behind the shelves again and Kirsch leaned against the counter, pulling his shirt as tightly around himself as he could while still letting the right sleeve hang loose enough to not touch his skin.

Ten minutes later Aprils’ father reappeared holding a wooden arm attached to a system of leather straps. Kirsch eyed it doubtfully, but when he was told to remove his shirt he did so.

Aprils’ father set about to fitting the prosthetic and Kirsch returned his attention to Julie. Her right eye was loose, dangling from her face, and some of the stitches that made up her mouth had come undone, making her smile crooked and incomplete.

Finally, Aprils’ father stepped back and examined his work. Then he looked up at Kirsch expectantly and raised his eyebrows. When the arm continued to hang there limply he urged him, “Try it.”

Kirsch closed his eyes and tried to block the static feeling out of his mind as he allowed himself to feel down into the place that his arm used to be. The place that still felt like an arm, an arm that hurt, and ached, and _moved_. He’d dream of having an arm, wake up and feel like he was wiggling his fingers and for a moment, for a very real moment, he’d think that it had all been a bad dream.

He let himself feel it, and started to clench his fist.

“It works,” Aprils’ father breathed out in awe. Kirsch’s eyes snapped open and he looked down at the wooden arm that was hanging by his side, an inch shorter than his other one, where it was now making a fist.

His eyes widened and he slowly, slowly, started to raise it. He waited for it to stay in place, or to not move right, but it moved with him. _It moved with him_. He lifted it in front of his face and uncurled his fingers one by one, turning the hand over and watching the wooden hand do exactly what he wanted it to.

“Holy fuck.”

“That’s not even the best part.”

Kirsch finally let his eyes drift from the arm, back to Aprils’ father. He took Kirsch’s prosthetic in his hands and gently turned it over so that the inside of the forearm was facing up, where there was a glass window with gold gilding. He pressed the window in and it clicked, popping open, and he asked for Kirsch’s wand. Kirsch handed it over, watching him as he placed the wand inside the recess and clicked it back into place.

Aprils’ father stepped back and nodded at the arm. “Try doing a spell.”

Kirsch’s mind went completely blank. He was a seventh year and he could not think of a single spell for the life of him. Then he remembered, the first spell he’d ever learned. He pointed his arm at one of the magnifying glasses that was sitting on top of a pile of things in the middle of the store, and made the first movement that he’d learned at Hogwarts – something he’d spent months practicing before he got it actually right – and said, “Wingardium leviosa.”

The magnifying glass twitched and then it started to float and Kirsch let out a whoop, pumping his arm, which sent the magnifying glass flying up and colliding with one of the lightbulbs overhead and causing it to explode. He dropped it immediately and grimaced. “Shit, sorry.”

“No need to apologise, boy!” Aprils’ father looked just as excited about it as he had. “Something else too.” He gestured for the arm and Kirsch held it out without hesitation. He brought out his wand and touched the arm, causing it to change from wooden to _human_. To his arm. His skin, his hair, it was even _warm_. He prodded it with his other hand and there was a moment of disappointment when he realised that he didn’t feel it, but the arm still felt real and squishy and _real_.

“Transfiguration,” Aprils’ father explained. “You’ll have to practice keeping it up yourself, but after some time it will come naturally.”

“How do you know so much about this?”

Wordlessly Aprils’ father lifted up his pant leg to reveal a thickly haired shin, which shifted to a wooden leg, and then back again.

Kirsch didn’t know what to say, so he just said, “Thank you.”

Aprils’ father smiled at him and stuck out his hand, his right hand. Kirsch hesitated but he reached forward with his hand and shook it.

\---

“Where have you been?” Danny’s face was white with stress when Kirsch re-entered the Shack and he was taken aback as he realised just how much of a toll the past month had put on her. As if he was finally waking up, he suddenly saw things through properly open eyes for the first time in a month.

Danny looked exhausted, the area around her eyes a sunken purple. She had refused to return to the aurors after they’d all been cleared of charges, instead staying at the Shack and trying her best to help Kirsch adjust while he had treated her… Well, as much as it made him hate himself, he treated her with a cruel dismissiveness.

“I, uh…” Kirsch didn’t know how to reply, didn’t know how to apologise for being absent for the past month, the only times he had acted present was when he was irritated or angry. Instead of saying anything he just held up his right arm and wiggled the wooden fingers.

Danny’s face changed from stressed to relieved as she pulled him into a hug – her arm going around his left side instead of his right because of the time he had yelled at her when he felt her press against what was left of his right shoulder. He held her tight with his left arm and, after a moment, wrapped his right around her too. He felt her sigh into him and for the first time in a month he let himself lean back into her.

“How is Laura?” he asked when they separated.

Danny cast a look towards the stairs that went up to the bedroom, but couldn’t find any words.

Kirsch followed her gaze and let her go, making the steady climb up the stairs, feeling each step under his foot as he did. The arm moved by his side, still new, and weird but, he squeezed his fist open and closed, _good._

He reached the bedroom and knocked on the door. There was no response so he gently pushed the door open and peered in. Laura was lying down in the bed, surrounded by books, newspapers and various other things.

“Laura?” he whispered.

Laura let out a gentle whimper and Kirsch crept into the room carefully, moving closer to the bed as Laura tossed and turned in bed, her whimpers louder. Kirsch knelt next to the bed, and grasped Laura’s hand in his. Her whimpers continued to grow, turning into words, well, one word.

 _Carm_.

“Laura.” He leaned forward so that he was closer to her ear. “Laura, wake up.”

Her eyes snapped open and she scrambled back in the bed, almost falling off in her panic. It took a moment of crazed eyes, her hand going to her forehead and fingers through her hair.

“Kirsch.” Her fear had faded, but his name didn’t hold the warmth that it used to when she said it. That was his fault. She looked down at his hands. “You got a new arm.”

He pulled his hands off the bed, dropping them out of sight by his side and gave her a smile that he prayed would somehow make up for the past month. “Yeah.”

“I had a dream about Carmilla,” Laura said quietly, mostly to herself. Kirsch wasn’t even sure if she was aware that she’d said it out loud. She looked around her. “I have to keep looking.” She dragged herself up off the bed and went over to the table in the corner, where there was a clutter of empty and half full potion vials. She grabbed at one of the half full ones and uncorked it, drinking it down. Kirsch recognized the special LaFontaine brand of invigorating draught, but didn’t say anything.

Had he really been so wrapped up in himself that he hadn’t noticed this?

“Where’s LaF?”

Laura hummed as she picked up the closest book and started to scan the page. “They mentioned something about food, I think…”

“Perry?”

Laura looked at him, actually looked at him, with surprise. “She left today.”

“Left?”

He had a feeling like he should have known where she had gone, as if he’d already been told but he hadn’t been listening.

“For the Ministry. She’s starting her internship at her mother’s department a week early.”

“Oh.”

Laura’s attention went back to the book and Kirsch looked around the room uncomfortably.

“Do you want some help?” he finally asked, not knowing what else to say.

Laura offered him one of the other books silently, and when he went to grab it her eyes were on his wooden arm. She didn’t let the book go, just staring at his hand. After a long moment she looked up at his face. “Does it still hurt?”

“All the time.”

Laura seemed satisfied with this response, letting the book go and Kirsch pulled it into him, switching to his left hand. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable under Laura’s attention, but there was something in the way that she asked the question that left him feeling unsettled.

On one of the branches outside the window a crow kept a careful eye on the two, tilting its head and blinking before letting out a soft caw and taking flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	33. The Department of International Magical Cooperation

“I am positively delighted that you chose to start your internship early, Lola. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to welcome you last week, I had something come up with the Gullfoss coven in Iceland.”

“It’s fine, mother,” Perry replied as she trailed behind her mother through the International Magical Cooperation office. So far the last week had just been a lot of filing, which was as thrilling as it sounded. It had occurred to Perry that a charm would be a far more efficient way of organising forms, but apparently that didn’t exist. Yet. (Perry had started working on it in her spare time.)

Her mother glanced back at her as she pushed through one of the office doors. “How is LaFontaine after that unfortunate situation with Azkaban?”

This was the first time that her mother had brought up Azkaban, and of course she had done so in the same detached voice that she used when talking about anything work-related. LaFontaine’s name made Perry grimace, things between them were… strained. They had barely spoken since Azkaban, and hadn’t spoken at all in the past week.

“They’re alright.”

“Are you two fighting again?” Perry felt guilty for being so surprised at her mother’s keen observation, but that faded when her mother waved her off. “You two always fight and you both act like it’s the end of the world. This will blow over.”

Perry knew that her mother was trying to be comforting, but now she wished that she hadn’t said anything. While it was true that Perry and LaFontaine had fought a fair few times in their friendship, this was different. Their past arguments had been heat and anger, this was just… cold and calm. Like the world after a storm, things between them felt settled. And they were left miles apart.

\---

Once the Christmas break started Laura had refused to move downstairs, so the four of them crammed into the Shack’s bedroom as they researched until they went cross-eyed and reminded Laura when to eat.

In everything they’d gone through there was no hint of Nowhere. Carmilla’s recount of her experience was the only concrete thing that they had, and it was starting to wear all of them down.

“We could break into the Ministry again,” Kirsch suggested. He was still uncomfortable with where he fit in with the group, made timid by the way he’d treated them and uncomfortable with the idea of inserting himself back in place now that he was starting to feel like himself again. “Steal a Time-Turner.”

Laura shook her head. “They registered your wands when you were arrested.” She shot a look at Danny. “And apparently I can’t go on my own.”

“They did it when you were unconscious,” Danny explained quietly to Kirsch. Then, to Laura, “We’ll find another way. There has to be something. There always is.”

In the corner of the room there was an explosion and everyone’s attention went to the swearing LaFontaine. The explosion had caused the papers around them to fly into the air and they snatched them out of the air, gathering them into a messy pile and glaring down at them. They realised that everyone else was looking at them and offered a small grimace and shrug. They started to clean up the explosion, repairing their cauldron and muttering to themselves.

No one really knew what LaFontaine was doing, whenever they were asked they’d mutter a string of jargon that didn’t make sense to anyone, and with Perry not there to translate they had decided to just leave them to it.

\---

“Now that I’ve returned don’t think that you’ll be getting any special treatment just because you are my daughter, Lola.”

“Of course not, mother. I would never expect that,” Perry responded dryly as she accepted a pile of files from her mother. The sarcasm seemed to go over her mother’s head as she led her into the room that she had working in for the past week. It was a forgotten back room of the IMC office, with only a round table and four chairs seated around it. She gestured for Perry to take a seat, which she did in the furthest chair.

“I’ll need you to sort those by importance. You studied the IMC code, yes?”

Perry had spent the past week using the code for filing and had every word of it memorised, but she didn’t mention that, just nodding. When that wasn’t enough of an answer for her mother, she replied with a yes out loud.

“Here’s a copy, just in case.” She offered her a copy of the code and Perry stared at it for a moment, wondering what her mother’s reaction would be if she refused it, but the fantasy was short lived as her mother waved it impatiently at her and Perry took it.

“Thank you, mother.”

Her mother gave her a thin smile and patted her on the hand. “I’ll see you later on, darling. I have to go talk to Romania about a dragon export problem they’re having.”

Once she was out of the room Perry let out a small breath, running her hands through her hair as she looked down at the files in front of her.

She could imagine what LaFontaine would have said after the way her mother had acted, something funny and dismissive in the way that made Perry laugh off the swirling feeling in her stomach. Without them, however, Perry just had to try to expel it with each exhale and busy herself with reading through the IMC request forms.

The nervous energy continued to fray her nerves so she snatched the IMC code sheet off the table and walked over to the bin, throwing it out violently. As she stared down at the sheet she felt a flicker of rebellious satisfaction and exhaled sharply.

She could do this.

\---

“What if she’s not at Nowhere anymore? What if her step mother took her somewhere else?”

Kirsch hadn’t dared to ask this question in Laura’s presence, waiting until he was alone with Danny downstairs and had checked to make sure that no one else was around.

Danny shrugged, helplessness stooping her shoulders and weighing down her expression. “It’s the only lead we have.”

Kirsch couldn’t stand to see Danny like this, she looked like she’d been completely defeated, and the shame that he’d played a part tasted like ash in his mouth. He pulled her in with his left hand and she bowed her face into his shoulder.

“I miss that stupid asshole,” she muttered against him. He swallowed hard and tightened his hug, not knowing what to say.

\---

Perry’s mother opened the door and walked into the room, sighing as she did and taking a seat opposite Perry, rolling her eyes towards the ceiling. “Eastern Europeans.” When Perry didn’t reply she looked at her daughter and said, “I’m sorry that it’s so late, Lola. Are you ready to go?”

“I…” Perry’s heartbeat played out a loud rhythm in her ears as she stared at the form in front of her. “I still have some things to do.” She looked up to meet her mother’s gaze. “Do you mind if I stay late today?”

Perry’s mother beamed. “Of course, darling. But don’t stay too late, alright?”

Perry nodded. “I won’t.”

\---

“LaFontaine.” Laura’s voice was light, but LaFontaine’s shoulders tensed immediately.

“Yeah?” They didn’t look away from their cauldron, trying to create a potion to break the wall between dimensions kind of demanded full attention.

“What if we never get her back?”

LaFontaine turned to face Laura, who was trembling as she stared down at a newspaper. They got up, flicking a freezing charm at the cauldron so that it didn’t blow up, and went over to stand in front of Laura. Laura continued to tremble, but didn’t look up at them.

LaFontaine sat on the bed and gently took the newspaper from her hands, setting it aside. Laura continued to stare unseeingly at the place that the paper used to be. LaFontaine placed their hands in Laura’s and squeezed.

“We will.”

“What if…?”

“L, Carmilla’s totally fighting to get back just as hard as you’re fighting to get her. We’ll get her back.”

Laura finally looked up at LaFontaine, tears spilling from her eyes as she did. LaFontaine had seen Laura sad, had heard her sob in the dead of the night when Laura thought they were asleep, but they hadn’t seen her cry yet and Merlin it was painful.

“What if we don’t?” Laura whispered.

Tears suddenly choked LaFontaine and they leaned forward, wrapping Laura up in their arms and holding her as tightly as they could. They squeezed their eyes shut and ignored the tears that slid down their cheeks.

Laura was chanting something under her breath and it took LaFontaine a moment to realize what it was.

“ _Please. Please. Please. Please_ …”

LaFontaine’s stream of thought joined Laura’s whispered mantra as they tried to grip her tighter, but there was no tighter. This was all there was.

 _Please_.

\---

Perry snuck into the transport dock wearing a cream coloured turtleneck. Like the room in Azkaban, the Ministry dock was used for larger pieces of equipment or groups that needed to be transported through the Floo network, but instead of one incinerator there were four of them side by side. They were far from common knowledge, often used for transporting high-risk IMC officials, or goods that were questionable in the eyes of the public.

There was one technician in the docking area, lying on the floor next to the middle incinerator with their head stuck underneath the open metal panel. Perry inched along the wall, trying to avoid being seen by them as she made her way to the storage area of the dock where there was a large stack of packages. She started to skim the shipping labels, searching for the one she was after – the one that had been requested for export through the IMC to be sent as a bargaining chip to Bulgaria in exchange for goodwill.

Perry tapped her fingers along the labels until she found it – PQ-0876 – and glanced behind her where the technician was still working, before she slid the package out of the stack. It was small, only a foot long and half a foot wide and deep – easy to tuck under her arm as she started to make her way back to the door.

She was a metre away from the door when a voice behind her asked, “Who are you?”

Perry’s eyes went to the ceiling. Of course. She turned to the technician, who was looking at her with a confused, curious look. Then the technician spotted the package under her arm and their eyes widened, hand tightening around their wand.

For a moment they stayed frozen like that, tense and not sure who would make the first move.

Then Perry sprinted to the door, dodging a stunning spell as she did, and slammed it shut behind her. Once it was shut she closed her eyes and leaned against it, gripping the package tightly.

In the transport dock the technician blinked, staring down at their wand and wondering why it was drawn. Weird. They rubbed the back of their head and gave a yawn. These night shifts would be the end of them.

\---

Perry looked up at the Shrieking Shack and pulled her coat tighter around herself. The sound of a crow cawing echoed through Hogsmeade and Perry shivered.

What had she done?

She pressed the package tighter into her side.

What she had to do.

She started up the path towards the Shack.

\---

LaFontaine jerked awake at the front door opening and closing. The sound of conversation drifted up the stairs from the ground floor but they couldn’t make out any words.

They looked down at their lap where Laura was finally asleep, and they gently eased themselves out from under her, replacing their spot with a pillow. LaFontaine tiptoed out of the room, closed the door softly and made their way downstairs where Perry was talking in a hushed voice with the Gryffindors, gripping onto a brown package as if it was her lifeline.

“Perr?” LaFontaine asked.

When Perry’s gaze went from Danny to them something changed in her eyes that made LaFontaine shift back. 

“Where’s Laura?”

“She’s sleeping. What’s going on?” LaFontaine eyed the package. “What is that?”

Instead of answering them Perry went over to the round table that had been shoved against the wall and dragged it to the middle of the room, placing the package down on it and opening it with careful, precise hands. She reached inside and, very slowly, lifted out a metal frame. The frame was in the shape of a rectangular prism and each corner had a rod linking into the centre, supporting a glass ball about the size of an orange. Inside the glass ball was…

LaFontaine frowned, staring at the sand that seemed to be constantly shifting of its own accord. They looked up at Perry’s face, trying to figure out what this meant without asking out loud, because there was some weight to the moment that they didn’t feel comfortable breaking.

Perry was staring down at the glass ball with a look caught somewhere between excitement, pride, and fear.

LaFontaine’s eyes widened.

Time-Turner sand.

“Perr what did you do?”

Perry’s face was stony when she looked up at LaFontaine. “What I had to do.”

LaFontaine’s stomach turned uncomfortably under Perry’s gaze and they offered to be the one to wake Laura up, keen to escape so that they could try and settle their uncomfortably tight chest. Halfway up the stairs they hesitated, leaning against the wall and trying to draw some stability from the coolness of the wallpaper.

_They were okay. They were okay._

They forced another deep breath in and out before continuing up the stairs. (They were okay.)

They knocked on the bedroom door. “Laura?”

There was no response so LaFontaine opened the door, going over to the bed where Laura hadn’t moved from the spot that they’d shifted her to. They sat on the bed next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and gently nudging her. “Hey, Laura, wake up.”

Laura didn’t stir.

“Laura?” LaFontaine started to shake her a little more, still not hard, but enough that it would wake anyone under normal circumstances.

Panic started to rise in LaF’s throat, and they started to shake Laura harder, hard enough that she was lolling back and forth but she still didn’t react.

“Fuck.” LaFontaine lit the room with their wand and they searched her neck for a pulse. It was there, steady and strong, so they lifted up one of her eyelids and let out a sharp yell as they recoiled.

The sound of footsteps thundered up the stairs and the door flew open, the other three joining them in the bedroom.

“What’s wrong?”

“What happened?”   

“Are you okay?”

LaFontaine heard a crunch under their feet as they stepped back and they looked down to see a bag at their feet. They reached down to pick it up and looked inside. It was full of empty potion vials.

“Did any of you drink the invigorating draughts?”

The other three shook their heads, looking between LaFontaine and the sleeping Laura fearfully.

“She said that they were for everyone,” LaFontaine whispered to themselves.

“LaFontaine.” Perry stepped towards them slowly, her face blank and open. “What is it?”

“If she’s been drinking this much then… That’s not… She can’t…”

Curiosity getting the better of her, Danny walked over to Laura and lifted her eyelid.

“Merlin…” Danny dropped Laura’s eyelid and held her hand to her mouth. “What’s wrong with her eyes?”

“She wasn’t meant to drink that much.” LaFontaine’s voice was pleading, as if they were trying to get forgiveness from someone but no one knew what they were talking about.

Perry was torn between asking LaFontaine what was happening and checking Laura’s eyes. After a long conflicted moment, she went over to Laura and gasped as she saw that her eyes had gone a milky white, the pupil and iris completely gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	34. The Subconcious

Laura shifted in bed and hummed, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin.

“Cupcake…” A gentle voice teased her slowly out of sleep and she smiled but didn’t open her eyes, not ready to wake up yet. There was a soft chuckle and the other person leaned closer, their breath ghosting across Laura’s face and blocking the sun as they hovered over her ear. “ _Cupcake_.”

Laura’s smile grew but she still refused to open her eyes, instead twisting her face into her pillow and pretending like it was a normal sleeping movement.

“Laura,” the sweet voice sang into her ear. “Wake up.”

Her hand reached over slowly, creeping across the sheets, until her fingers collided with material and she knotted it around her fingers, pulling in. There was no resistance as a warm body shifted closer into her space and she wriggled her face into the crook of their neck, breathing in deep.

“Ten more minutes,” she mumbled.

“Alright,” they conceded. “Ten more minutes.”

Laura pressed a kiss to the bare skin under her lips. “Thanks Carm.”

She shifted in closer, her leg tangling in between Carmilla’s, but as she moved closer Carmilla’s body seemed to be… deflating? Sinking down as if she had never been there at all. Laura’s eyes flew open and she was in a black room. Black walls, black ceiling, black furniture.

She could hear a girl crying.

She turned on the spot, trying to see where the crying was coming from, feeling the need to help this girl, this poor, heartbroken girl who was crying as if her world had ended. She realised there was a door at the far end of the room and she started to run towards it, but the faster she ran the further away it got.

“Laura.”

Laura whipped around at the sound of her voice. She couldn’t tell if it was a voice from somewhere else, or if it was just in her head. The crying had stopped.

She turned to go back towards the door but as she did the room changed, now she was at the entrance of the Hogwarts library. The desk that Madam Pince usually stationed was empty, in fact the whole library felt oppressively empty.

Laura started to walk through the stacks, searching for a sign of anyone else, but not finding one. She started walking to the spot that Carmilla always went to, the nook hidden away at the back of the library where all the driest, dullest books were kept. She rounded a bookshelf and there, sitting and reading, was Carmilla.

“Carm,” Laura’s voice broke as she stepped towards her. “You’re here.”

Carmilla looked up at her and smiled. “Of course I am, creampuff. Where did you think I was?”

“I…” Laura hesitated, feeling like she was forgetting something. But no, she was being silly, Carmilla had always been here. She smiled back at her and joined her on the floor, wedging herself between Carmilla and the bookcase. “Nowhere.”

Laura scanned the book that Carmilla was reading, trying to read the words but she couldn’t make her eyes focus on the letters. “What are you reading?” she asked.

“It’s a fable,” Carmilla explained, running her finger down the page. “The Farm-Boy and The Unfortunate.”

“What’s it about?”

As Carmilla started to talk one of the library walls crumbled away, showing a green field in front of them and suddenly they were sitting in the grass, leaning against a boulder.

“One day there was a man who wanted nothing more than to leave his home, a small farming town where nothing ever happened...”

In front of them a young man walked out of a cottage holding a pail. He was handsome in a farm-boy sort of way with muscles crafted from labour and sun-kissed skin. His hair was cut in a lopsided way that left some of it halfway down his neck and other parts only just reaching the top of his ears and it shone gold as he leapt over the wooden fence that bordered the cottage.

Now they were moving with him, except Laura wasn’t sure if Carmilla was still by her side because she couldn’t see her but she could  _feel_  her.

The man ran through the fields, pumping his arms and legs as he threw his head back and took in the sun and wind. Laura was running beside him but he couldn’t see her – she somehow knew that she wasn’t a part of this story.

After they’d run over several hills they reached the woods and the man’s pace slowed to a walk, jumping over fallen branches and kicking stones as he went. Finally he came across a natural spring, beautiful amongst the mossy green, and he leaned down to drink some water from his cupped hand, before filling the pail.

He looked up suddenly as if he'd heard something that Laura hadn't. He stood, leaving the pail by the spring, and started to clamber up the rocks, leaping from ledge to ledge with ease, hefting himself up and up.

“Wait, your…” Laura started but realised that he couldn’t hear her. In an instant she was no longer at the spring; instead she was in a field, but a completely different one than before. An alien one. It was as if she was seeing everything through a weird filter, the grass was a brighter, yet softer green, and the sky was a gorgeous mix of orange, purple, pink and other colours that she had never seen before. The man was skipping through the field, whooping and spinning, and sending up streams of colour - broad, bright streaks - as he went.

Carmilla was by her side, solid again. “He found a place of great magic, the sort of place where he felt free.”

The man stopped, looking around him, and the colour of the sky started to change as clouds started to gather overhead.

“But he wasn’t.”

A roll of thunder started overhead and he gave a shout, running over to a cave in the distance that Laura hadn’t seen before, taking cover from the rain. Laura could see the rain falling around them but didn’t feel it on her skin, and then she was in the cave and the man somehow looked older without having aged at all.

“He was trapped; never aging, never getting sick, not even needing to eat, and never able to leave.”

“Then one day, after centuries had passed and his memory of his home had almost faded completely, another appeared.”

A well groomed man in a white suit walked into the cave and, unlike the farm-boy, he looked like he had never worked a day of hard labour in his life. He frowned as he saw the farm-boy, his hands going to his suit jacket and fastening the buttons at his front as he fixed a blinding white smile on his face, contrasting against his dark skin. He strode forward, introducing himself but Laura couldn't hear what was being said, just saw the skeptical look on the farmboy's face. Then, something seemed to occur to the farm-boy and he spoke with increased interest to the suited man.

“Desperate to leave, he tricked the newcomer into taking his place.”

The suited man started to gesture angrily, yelling at the farm-boy, until he exploded and with that they - along with the farm-boy - were back at his home. Not that it looked the same, the farmland was gone and replaced with high rise buildings and concrete. He started to age rapidly, every second that passed added a decade to his face and body, as he stumbled forward and eventually collapsed to the pavement and crumbled to dust.

“And having returned home, he finally found his peace.”

They were back in the library again and Laura stared down at the book in Carmilla's hands. “What's the moral? Fables always have morals.”

Carmilla closed the book and shrugged. “Life sucks and then you die?”

Laura shot her a look.

“So you may as well dance?” Carmilla offered.

Suddenly, Laura was standing in the quad of her primary school, dressed in a floor length, poofy pink ball gown. She adjusted one of the white gloves she was wearing, pulling it up to her elbow and wondered why so many cartoon characters wore gloves.

“Don’t you look like a lifesize Barbie doll.”

Carmilla was leaning against one of the wooden posts that supported the overhanging steel roofing that bordered the quad. She was dressed in a perfectly fitted suit, a cigarette hanging loosely from her lips.

“I didn’t know you smoked.”

Carmilla smirked, baring her teeth that were holding the cigarette in place. “It’s a metaphor.”

“Are we going to go in?” Laura asked, the prom was being held in the hall and they were already late.

“We’re already in, creampuff.”

Laura realised that they were inside the school hall – except it was way bigger than she remembered it – and they were dancing to an upbeat pop song. Carmilla spun her out and Laura giggled as she spun back into Carmilla’s arms. Carmilla pulled her in tight and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Leave room for Jesus!” Perry said cheerfully as she danced past with LaFontaine. They were both wearing matching overly ruffled prom-style tuxedoes, with LaFontaine’s light blue and Perry’s mint green. They were dancing in an exaggerated way, swaying back and forth energetically, and laughing in a messily happy way. Carmilla scowled at them and pulled Laura closer, making Laura’s head spin delightfully.

Next to them Danny dipped Kirsch to the ground as he gave a gleeful whoop. When she pulled him back up he twirled himself under her arm, and then twirled her under his. He was wearing a white button-up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just above his elbows, and his right arm had a beautifully coloured tattoo that covered the whole arm, right down to his fingertips. Laura tried to see what the tattoo was, but it was a blur as he started to swing dance with Danny. Danny was wearing a beautiful gold dress that glittered in the lights, the same colour as the bow tie that hung loose around Kirsch's neck. They looked gorgeous together, and happy, so, so happy.

Laura felt her heart swell in her chest as Carmilla rocked them back and forth. She leaned her chin on Carmilla’s shoulder, burying her face into her neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Carmilla’s voice rumbled against Laura and she wished that she could somehow stay in this moment forever. Her friends, her girlfriend, all of it. Everything felt like it was exactly how it was meant to be.

\---

“A magical coma? What does that mean LaFontaine?” Perry demanded.

“When you start messing with the way your brain works using magic, things can get... weird.”

“So how do we un-weird it?” Danny asked.

“Look, her brain's probably just trying to make up for the lost sleep. You know, dreams are our way of dealing with things and with everything that's been happening there's been a lot to deal with.”

“Do you think she'll come out of it?” Kirsch was kneeling by Laura's side, holding her hand and keeping a close watch over her completely blank face with fearful eyes.

“I think so.” Off Perry's sharp look they stuttered, “Yeah, yes. I... Yeah. Once she's made up for her lost sleep.”

“How long will that take?”

At Danny's question everyone thought of the Time-Turner sand that was still sitting downstairs. God only knew how long it would take for the Ministry to realise that it was missing, and when they did either they would mark it off as human error, or they'd come looking for it. And if they did...

Perry shifted and LaFontaine had to hold themselves back from going over to try and comfort her.

Kirsch pressed his forehead to the back of Laura's hand and started to pray under his breath to anyone who might be listening.

\---

Something had shifted.

Laura didn’t know what exactly, but something felt different. Instead of warmth and love, there was an air of bittersweet. Maybe it was something in Carmilla’s eyes, which had twisted almost imperceptibly. Maybe it was the music, which had changed to something slower, sadder, more significant. Maybe it was the fact that their friends were gone now, leaving them alone on the dance floor.

A spotlight followed as Carmilla led them in a gentle waltz.

“You can’t stay here forever, Laura,” Carmilla said softly.

“Why not?”

Carmilla smiled with tender, sad eyes as she spun Laura. When she pulled her back in Laura wanted to stop the dance so that she could hold her, kiss her, but she knew that she couldn’t.

“You know why.”

“How am I meant to leave?” The ‘you’ was left unsaid; it was too much for either of them to face.

Carmilla’s smile was wry this time as she turned them. “You know this isn’t real, Laura.”

“This feels more real than…” Crying until she was numb, feeling lost, pretending that everything was okay when absolutely nothing was okay. Reaching for a person that wasn’t there.

“We aren’t star-crossed lovers, creampuff. This isn’t as good as it gets.”

“How do you know?” Laura suddenly felt tired, so tired, as if Carmilla was the only thing keeping her standing. “I’ve been trying so hard to find you.”

“Trust me.” Carmilla wasn’t smiling anymore, but her eyes were infinitely warm as she said, “You look beautiful in white.”

Laura was about to reply that she wasn’t wearing white when Carmilla leaned forward and their lips connected-

“Laura?”

Laura jerked back into the headboard, not knowing where she was, until she blinked and…

Shrieking Shack. Bed. Her friends. Staring at her with terrified expressions.

“Are you okay?” LaFontaine asked, holding their hands up as if to show that they didn’t mean her any harm.

“I…” Laura put a hand to her pounding forehead. Something echoed in her mind - _trust me_ - but it was gone a moment later, her dream slipping from her memory. “What happened?”

“You kind of went into a magical coma,” LaFontaine explained with a grimace.

“What were you thinking having that many draughts?” Perry demanded, but her voice was coloured with fear not anger.

“I, um…” Laura’s voice was gravelly through the dryness of her mouth and as she tried to swallow she winced. Kirsch handed her a bottle of water and she gave him a grateful smile as she finished it all in one go. “I don’t know.”

Looking unsatisfied with her response, but relieved that she was okay, Perry’s mouth tightened into a thin line and she sighed. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Laura admitted.

Danny stepped forward. “Laura, we found something. Well, Perry did.”

Laura’s eyes went from Danny to Perry, who looked torn as she asked, “Danny are you sure we should go into this right now?”

“I think Laura would want to know right away,” Danny argued back, trying to keep her tone calm but failing.

Laura’s eyebrows were raised as her questioning look went between the two redheads. Perry gave a heaved sigh. “Fine.” She sat on the bed in front of Laura. “So, Laura, I don’t want you to get too worked up over this since you did just wake up from a magical-”

“Perry…”

“We have Time-Turner sand.”

Laura froze. “Where?”

“Downstairs, but Laura-”

It was too late; Laura was already out of the bed and rushing down the stairs. The rest of the group followed her down, Kirsch the first to jump up to shadow her down the stairs.

Laura stopped in place when her eyes found the sand on the table. She stared at it, not daring to move closer in case that would somehow take away this chance that still didn’t seem real.

Kirsch stepped in behind her, offering support without actually touching her.

“It’s real,” he said as if he’d read her mind.

Laura didn’t know what to do, so many emotions rushed to the surface as she stared at that small sphere of sand. She wanted to cry, to laugh, to fall apart, to come together. And, as she turned to bury herself in Kirsch’s chest, she did all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For bonus feels, the song that they slow dance to is 'All I Want' by Kodaline
> 
> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	35. The Guardian

Perry had used her wand to cut a small hole into the glass sphere and was now drawing the sand out of it carefully to create a large circle that hung above the edges of the table, hovering over it but not touching anything. She had to concentrate, ensuring that the sand didn't come into contact with anything as it came out of the sphere. The circle she was creating was large enough that the five of them could comfortably stand around it at the same time, although right now Perry was the only one close to it.

Laura watched Perry’s progress with sharp focus from the other side of the room, wanting to give her the space so she didn’t feel pressured, but also wanting to know how it was going. Kirsch was leaning against the couch next to Laura, keeping within reach as he watched over her and Danny was right behind him. Her attention went from him, to Laura, to Perry, and back again.

LaFontaine was standing on their own in the opposite corner with their arms crossed as they stared at the floor guiltily. They hadn’t said anything since coming downstairs, lost in their thoughts of how everything that had happened was their fault. If they hadn’t gone to the protest, if they hadn’t been imprisoned in Azkaban, if they hadn’t made the draught for Laura…

A hand slipped into theirs and they looked up to see Perry standing in front of them. She was looking at them more openly than she had in the past month, as if this close to the solution her mind was clear enough to give some thought to LaFontaine and how things were between them.

LaFontaine knew Perry, knew that she had difficulty focusing on other things when there was something to worry about, but after all this time they had assumed that this was just how it was between them.

“We’ll talk after?”

LaF didn’t want to get their hopes up, but this was enough to break them out of their train of thought, and they nodded at Perry. Perry seemed relieved and then went over to tell the others that things had been set up.

It was all fairly simple really – or so Perry said. Time-Turner sand was a volatile, dangerous substance, so merely coming in contact with it should be enough to send them to Nowhere. At least, she hoped.

The conversation about who would be going was surprisingly short and free of argument. Each of them had stepped forward without hesitation, even after Perry’s warning of how dangerous this was and how it wasn’t guaranteed that they’d end up in Nowhere. To all of them it was simply worth the risk.

The realness of the risk hung thick in the air as they stepped up to the circle. The fear had started to come through. Fear coupled with determination, most certainly, but the fear was still there.

“Are we ready?”

Everyone except LaFontaine remembered the last time Perry had asked that question and what it had led to. Kirsch’s wooden hand clenched into a fist. Danny took his left hand in hers and squeezed. Laura closed her eyes for a moment before re-opening them and nodding.

“At the same time.”

They all reached forward as one and at the last second a crow flew down from the rafters and landed on Danny’s shoulder.

They blinked and-

Carmilla had described Nowhere to Laura – a sparse, clean, completely white room. Where they were did not look like Nowhere. The room was dark, entirely black, but not clean like Azkaban or the Department of Mysteries. The furniture had been turned over, broken apart, the upholstery ripped into. There didn’t seem to be any sources of light but somehow everyone could see perfectly. It felt… pained. The air was thick with agony, so heavy that it felt like a physical weight on them, pushing them down.

In the corner a crouching figure looked up, dark hair hanging in clumps in front of their face.

Laura took a step forward hesitantly. “Carm?”

Then, from behind Danny, Lilita Morgana Dean moved forward almost giving Danny a heart attack as she realised who the crow had been. Lilita walked towards Carmilla and everyone drew their wands.

“Don’t move!” Laura yelled.

The ex-Headmistress didn’t even pause as she continued towards Carmilla. All of them opened fire – or they tried to. None of their spells were working, regardless of how clearly they spoke or gestured with their wands. Lilita reached Carmilla, knelt in front of her and started to whisper something to her softly enough that no one else could hear it.

Laura let out a yell as she barrelled towards her, wand held high and her expression furious. But before she could reach them Lilita gave Carmilla’s shoulder a shove, sending her reeling back and disappearing from the room - which was suddenly no longer black.

Now it was warm, wooden and absolutely full of books. The walls were lined with bookshelves that leant against each other at odd angles that looked as if they should be falling over but somehow seemed perfectly stable. The room already felt lived in, with worn floorboards, a frayed rug, and a fireplace that had stacks of books stored in it instead of a fire. A table was tucked into one side of the room with a simple, crooked wooden chair that Lilita casually took a seat on, the legs bowing ever so slightly as she did.

The group stared at her.

“What did you just do?” Laura asked in a shaking voice.

“I freed her.”

“What do you mean ‘freed’?” Perry demanded, voice high and tight.

“There must always be a guardian in Nowhere.”

“You took her place,” Danny said quietly.

“Ten points to Gryffindor,” Lilita said with a voice full of irony.

Kirsch stepped forward, anger hulking his frame. “How do we know that you’re telling the truth? That this isn’t some sort of trick?”

She sighed deeply. “I’m not in the business of proving myself Mr Kirsch. Carmilla has been returned to the Shrieking Shack and I suspect is wondering where all of you are. Would you like to join her or not?”

“If you’re lying…” Danny threatened but it just made Lilita roll her eyes.

“Then you know where to find me, don’t you Miss Lawrence?”

With a wave of her hand the room began to spin around them, faster and faster into a blur until it came to a sudden jolting halt and they were back at the Shrieking Shack again.

“Laura?” a quiet voice croaked.

Laura’s head shot up (which, whoa, dizziness,  _hello_ ) and there, crouched in the middle of the lounge room with her arms wrapped around her looking like a lost child, was Carmilla Karnstein.

\---

Once Carmilla and Laura were settled upstairs LaFontaine and Perry met outside the Shack.

Perry spoke first. “I have to go back to the Ministry. It will look suspicious if I don’t.”

LaFontaine couldn’t help but feel disappointed that this was the first thing that Perry was saying, but they swallowed their disappointment as quickly as possible. “Of course,” they said in a thick voice that they hoped didn’t give away their feelings.

“You left me,” Perry said quietly.

LaFontaine’s stomach dropped further. They turned to Perry with a distraught expression on their face. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.”

LaFontaine couldn’t decipher Perry’s tone right now and it terrified them.

“Perr-” they started but Perry interrupted them.

“I understand why you left. I understand that you believed in it. I don’t understand how you could leave without saying goodbye.”

LaFontaine winced. They had no real reason, all they could do was offer the truth and hope that it would count for something. “I was a coward. I was scared. I didn’t know how to tell you in person.” Merlin, none of this felt like enough, it just sounded small and useless coming out of their mouth. “It will never happen again.”

“You leaving me without saying goodbye?” Perry clarified sharply.

LaFontaine winced again. They deserved that. “Me leaving.”

Perry sighed and her shoulders caved in defeat. “That’s not a promise I want you to make.”

LaFontaine knew that they couldn't reach for her right now, despite how much they wanted to, so they settled for looking at her with the softest gaze that they could. “What is the promise you want me to make?” they asked, their voice barely above a whisper but full of pleading.

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “I don’t know if I could trust a promise from you.”

“I never broke-” They really shouldn’t have tried to point that out. Anger flashed across Perry's face and they immediately stopped themselves and wished that they could take it back.

“I am your girlfriend. I am your best friend. I shouldn’t have to get a promise from you so that you don’t  _abandon_ me without a…” Perry turned away, muttering to herself and taking long, precise breaths.

“I’m sorry. Perr? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Please,” LaFontaine begged.

Perry’s shoulders settled back down into a hard line and she turned back to face them. “LaFontaine, I love you.”

LaF sighed in relief as they replied, “I love you too.”

“But I don’t think that I can be with you anymore.”

LaFontaine felt like their legs had been taken out from under them but somehow they were still standing. Sort of. They stumbled back until they felt the wall behind them and tried to use it to steady themselves. There was a loud buzzing in their ears as they stared at Perry, beautiful, wonderful, funny, smart Perry. Perry, the girl they’d been in love with for what felt like their whole life. Perry,  _their_  Perry, who now no longer wanted to be theirs. Because of them. They did this.

Perry stepped towards them and put a hand on their arm, her face twisted with concern, and she was saying something but they couldn’t hear her.

Eventually things came back into focus and they realised that she was asking if they were okay.

They gave a numb nod.

They looked down at her hand on their arm and moved their arm out of her grasp. The hurt look on her face was almost satisfying.

They said something about going back in and managed to make it to the front door without falling over, getting inside and shutting the door behind them. They closed their eyes as hard as they could and slid down the door, desperately trying to suck in air but not feeling like any was getting in.

Kirsch looked up from his place on the couch where he’d been talking to Danny. “Dude, are you okay?”

Were they okay? Were they okay?

They were so far from okay.

The roughness of their sobs started to make them retch and they clumsily stumbled forward onto their knees. The Gryffindors were by their side in a second, holding them up and they leaned against them and cried and cried and cried because  _they had done this_.

\---

Carmilla had passed out as soon as they had returned to the Shack and she had been deep in a heavy, dreamless sleep since. Now with the light of the moon spilling across her face, Laura couldn’t stop staring at her. She had to resist from touching her, in case that made her stir, but God she wanted to because she had to prove to herself that she was actually here.

After all this time, she was here.

Laura settled for intertwining their fingers and resting her chin on their joined hands as she traced her eyes over and over Carmilla’s face. Carmilla looked exhausted, like she’d been torn apart and rebuilt over and over again, and was barely holding herself together now. But somehow she was still breathtaking.

Her hair was splayed across the pillowcase, black waves that Laura ran her fingertip over with the gentlest touch she could.

Carmilla still smelled the same, the scent of her made Laura’s head spin with how much she  _missed_  her. Having her right here, right in front of her, made her want to hold on impossibly tightly and never let her go. To tell her everything that had happened, to hear her voice again, to see her smile, to just be near her.

She shifted over and lay her head on Carmilla’s chest, listening to the steady thump of her heart and feeling tears spring to her eyes. She let one sob through, holding herself closer to Carmilla and letting another sob through when Carmilla’s body didn’t disappear.

She was here.

She was here.

She was here.

Finally, she closed her eyes, matched her breathing to Carmilla’s, and let herself fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	36. The Tattooed Man

Carmilla couldn’t move.

She was in the bedroom of the Shrieking Shack and there was this person standing at the end of the bed. She couldn’t see who it was, but she was sure that it was Mallory – furious at her for getting between him and her step mother. He was here to kill her. Fuck. This was how she would die. Some coward creeping into her room and killing her. She was sure that he had cast a spell on her because all of her muscles felt full of pins and needles and completely useless.

Her heart was beating so hard that she felt like it would burst out of her chest. She tried to reach for her wand, but fuck she couldn’t move. It was as if her limbs were tied to weights, frozen by her side and all she could do was stare at Mallory – the shadow of Mallory –, if she could only get to her wand she would be alright.

She tried to look to her side to see if Laura was there, but the bed was empty, and moving her head back was like trying to move underwater. She should scream, there would be someone in the Shack who would hear her and come. She tried to open her mouth but it felt sewn shut, all she could get out were quiet whimpers that died in the back of her throat.

Fuck. Fuck. She was going to die. She knew it. Fuck. She couldn’t die. She’d just gotten back. She’d just gotten…

Focus, Karnstein.  _Focus_.

Her wand was in her pocket. She just had to move her hand down to get it and then if she lit it she was sure that he would leave. The light would drive him away. She could do it.

She poured all of her energy into trying to move her fingers - _come on, come on, come on_ - and felt them twitch.  _Yes_. She slowly, painfully, inched her fingers down the bed, each movement laboured and impossible, but finally her fingertips brushed against the tip of her wand and she wriggled closer, grasping it and she whispered, “Lumos.”

A brilliant, blinding white light exploded out of the tip of her wand and suddenly the room was full of light, light, light. The figure was gone and she could move again. She sat up in bed, gasping and pressing the heels of her palms against her forehead as she tried to calm her heart.

She wasn’t dying. She wasn’t dying. She wasn’t-

“Carm?”

Carmilla woke up.

The room was still dark, just before dawn, and Laura was looking at her with confused sleepy eyes. Carmilla realised that her face was wet with tears and she latched onto Laura, pulling her in tightly and realizing that it had been a dream.

It was just a dream.

Her heart was still thumping hard against her ribcage, but she could feel herself start to get control back. She buried her face in Laura’s hair and drew what comfort she could from the familiar smell.

“Are you okay?” Laura’s voice was still slurred with sleep and she rubbed Carmilla’s back clumsily.

“Yeah, I just…” Carmilla didn’t know how to put it into words so she just said, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Laura said, already falling asleep again.

“I’m going to go downstairs, okay creampuff?” Carmilla asked quietly. (She couldn’t go back there. She couldn’t.)

“Okay,” Laura agreed. She was snoring a moment later.

Carmilla tucked a loose strand of hair behind Laura’s ear and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Sleep well, my love.”

With her heartbeat almost back to normal but the ghost of the nightmare sitting heavily on her chest she walked downstairs into the lounge room. She smiled wryly at the sight of LaFontaine asleep on the couch with their legs over Kirsch's lap. On the other couch Danny was also asleep, her legs dangling so far off it that her feet were on the ground.

“Morning.”

Kirsch gave her a wide grin. “Dude, hey, how you feeling?”

The memory of the shadow figure at the end of her bed flashed in her mind. “I'm alright. Why are you awake so early?”

“My arm...” Kirsch cast a look down at the wooden arm. “It wakes me up.”

Carmilla walked towards him. “What happened?”

“Oh.” He'd forgotten that Carmilla didn't know about his arm, and his cheeks went slightly red as he flinched away with it, trying to hide it from her gaze. “Azkaban.”

Carmilla held her hand out and he hesitated, trying to judge what her intentions were. After a moment he held it out to her with his eyes fixed on the ground. She turned it in her hands, examining the wood, spotted the wand window, and made a small sound of recognition. “I know this design. Aprils?”

“Yeah, how did you...?”

“I had a thing for magical prosthetics when I was younger.” She met his eyes. “I was a weird kid.” She ran her hand down the wood. “It's well made.”

“Yeah.” Kirsch felt uncomfortable at how intimate this felt, no one had paid this much attention to his arm since Aprils' father had fitted it.

“You know you can transfigure it to look like your arm.”

Kirsch nodded. He hadn't tried to do it and he told himself that it was because it would be too hard and there were more important things right now – but that was a lie. (Well mostly, he also felt like he'd mess it up and end up with an extra finger or something.) Now, in the quiet of the dawn with Carmilla gently holding his arm in her hands, he said the words that surprised him with their honesty. “But it's not my arm.”

Carmilla nodded in a way that seemed to be mostly to herself. Then she asked, “Can I try something?”

Kirsch nodded, scared but trusting her.

She brought out her wand and started to transfigure his arm and at first he wanted to rip it free from her grasp, but his trust forced him keep it there even though the back of his neck felt like it was on fire. His arm formed, but it wasn't his arm, it was covered in tattoos. A large wolf, a bat-winged horse, a forest background, and – when she moved his sleeve up to show his bicep – the sky. As he stared at the tattoos he realised that they were moving, just slightly. The leaves on the trees shifted in the wind, the wolf was looking around, sniffing the air, and the horse would stamp its feet every so often.

The tattoos stretched the entire length of his arm, right down to his fingertips, which were covered in grass and rocks and he could have sworn he saw the tip of a rabbit tail. He turned his palm up and on it was the tree's root system that grew from the tips of his fingers up and up the inside of his arm where his wand was, the branches and leaves reaching over to the other side of his arm to create the forest canopy.

“It's not your arm,” Carmilla repeated what he'd said and for the first time the words didn't sound so bitter in his mind.

LaFontaine had woken up and was now watching Kirsch's arm with intrigue. “That's so awesome.”

Carmilla gave them something between a smile and a smirk. “Where's your ginger twin?”

LaFontaine's face dropped.

Kirsch leaned over to Carmilla to whisper something to her, and Carmilla grimaced. “Shit. Sorry.”

LaFontaine offered the most nonchalant shrug they could. “It’s okay. Kind of had it coming.”

Kirsch and Carmilla awkwardly shifted, not knowing how to respond.

The sound of footsteps thumping down the stairs interrupted the moment and Laura appeared looking wide-eyed and terrified. She spotted Carmilla and ran over to her, almost bowling her over with a hug.

“Don’t you  _dare_  do that to me again! I thought you were…”

“Cupcake, cupcake.” Carmilla rubbed Laura’s back. “I told you I was coming downstairs.”

Laura deflated. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

“No, I…” Laura caught her breath and let herself take in the sight of Carmilla. Carmilla here, now. “I’m sorry, I panicked.”

“It’s okay.” Carmilla pulled her back into the hug, tucking her under her chin and whispering over and over, “I’m here.”

Once Laura had calmed down Carmilla placed one last kiss on her forehead and then turned to the rest of them. “So, Christmas break huh? Where we breaking into next? Gringotts?”

That earned her a thump on the shoulder from Laura.

\---

The elevator doors opened and Perry looked up to see Kirsch standing there, staring up at the statue in the middle of the atrium.

“Kirsch?” Perry’s head tilted. “What are you doing here?”

Kirsch spun around and gave her a lopsided smile. “Hey P. Danny came to see Pullen so I thought I’d visit you.”

Someone jostled him on their way to the elevator so Perry grabbed him by the elbow and directed him away from the bustle of the atrium to the cafeteria on the other side.

Kirsch looked around the practically empty cafeteria in awe. “You guys have a cafeteria?”

It was charming how taken Kirsch was with the cafeteria that, in most Ministry employee’s opinions, was less than stellar.

Not that the food options were limited; almost anything could be made in fifteen minutes thanks to their endless pantry. The cafeteria was somewhat less endless - a collection of drab looking tables and chairs that were arranged in groups of fours. The cafeteria could seat 200 people comfortably but it was empty most of the time excepting a few people who would spread their things across their table and eat absently while continuing to work

They went over to the counter and Perry ordered her standard lunch from the bored looking server, while Kirsch ummed and ahhed for a solid five minutes before tentatively asking for a T-bone steak and lighting up when he was told it was possible.

Perry tried to pay for their lunch but Kirsch slipped his money to the unimpressed cashier too quickly, reasoning that he was the one who had turned up so it was totally his treat. Perry didn’t push the point because honestly it was nice to see him act like this again.

They took a seat at one of the far tables, away from the few scattered people around the room, and Kirsch casually rolled his sleeves up. Perry’s eyes caught the tattoos that danced along his arm and she couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped her lips. “Kirsch, that’s beautiful.”

Kirsch looked down at the arm and smiled bashfully. “Carmilla taught me how to do it.” He traced the leaves gently. “It’s not as good as hers was, but if I keep practicing she says it’ll get better.”

“How is she?”

A shard of sadness fractured his smile. “Different. But kind of the same too?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.”

Perry nodded then she bit her lip and asked the question that had been shouting in her head ever since she’d spotted him. “How is LaFontaine?”

Kirsch grimaced and shrugged.

Guilt spiked in Perry immediately and she knotted her fingers together and cleared her throat, sitting up straighter. “You think I did the wrong thing.”

“No, dude, no, not at all. What they…” Kirsch shook his head. “You totally did the right thing.”

“But I shouldn’t have waited so long to do it.”

He gave another hapless shrug. “You wanted to make sure Carmilla was okay first. I totally get that.”

Their food arrived on an unstaffed cart and he perked up, distracted from the conversation by the appearance of his steak. He quickly handed Perry her ham and cheese sandwich and when he picked up his plate the cart zoomed back over to the kitchen doors, which swung open for it.

He tucked into his steak with great enthusiasm but after he shoved a sizeable piece into his mouth he glanced up at Perry and embarrassment crossed his face. He swallowed loudly and wiped at his lips with the back of his hand. “Sorry.” He gestured to the steak. “Do you want some?”

Perry shook her head as she picked at the crust of her sandwich. Kirsch took another bite, this time keeping his attention on Perry as he chewed with more care.

“I was starting to hate them,” Perry admitted quietly. Kirsch stopped chewing and blinked at her. A stab of shame tore through Perry but it was soothed by the completely understanding look in Kirsch’s eyes. Suddenly tears sprung to her eyes because _Merlin_ he was looking at her like she had a _right_ to feel like that after she’d spent the last month telling herself that she didn’t.

(Did she actually deserve to feel like that? Could that be possible?)

She stared down at her sandwich through watery eyes as her thoughts ran rampant.

Kirsch’s chair scraped on the ground as he moved next to her, wrapping her up in his arms. She buried her face in his neck and let out a breath against his skin, shuddering but not crying. Something about having him there made her tears retreat and when she was sure that they were completely gone she leaned back out of his embrace. He let her free but kept an arm draped across the back of her chair, and that was what gave her the strength to continue to talk.

“I was trying to forgive them, I really was. But every time I looked at them or-or even when I thought about them… I would get so hurt. And I kept trying to ignore it and just… But I couldn’t. And it was making me hate them for it. For doing this thing that I couldn’t…” Perry heaved a sigh, feeling like she was pushing a weight off her chest. “That I couldn’t forgive them for.”

“You’ll get there,” Kirsch promised. At the thickness of his voice Perry looked up and was surprised to see that his eyes were glossed over with unshed tears.

“I will,” she agreed. She didn’t know if she was saying it for Kirsch’s benefit, or for her own, but she supposed that at this point it didn’t really matter because for the first time she actually believed it.

Kirsch gathered her into another hug and for the first time in months she took in a breath that wasn’t laced with guilt and anger.

\---

Danny entered Pullen’s office and was immediately taken with how much busier it was than last time. Instead of the neat desk, there were things everywhere - forms, old case files, signed confessions - it was a mess of paperwork and, for the first time that Danny had seen, Pullen looked stressed.

“Sir.”

The quill in the corner came to life to record her and she eyed it for a moment before returning her attention to the man who looked like he’d aged five years since she’d last seen him.

“Lawrence.” He nodded firmly. “You’ve finally taken me up on my offer.”

“I had a situation, sir. It was… resolved.”

“I won’t ask what it was.” He stood from behind his desk and walked towards her, gesturing towards the door. “Walk with me?”

Danny cast one last look to the quill and then nodded, following him out of the office.

They walked to the elevator in silence, Pullen clearly wanted to wait until they reached their destination and Danny didn’t dare speak first. She still wasn’t sure what this would be about, she was honestly just hoping that it wouldn’t end with her being arrested. 'For the greater good' only took you so far, and Pullen would be the sort to give her time to sort out her affairs before arresting her.

The elevator doors opened and there were already three people standing inside. Pullen looked at them and, even though they didn’t seem to be getting off before, they all bowed under his gaze and exited the elevator so that he could walk in with Danny. Danny’s hand itched for her wand, not to do anything with it, but just wanting the security.

When they got into the elevator and the doors closed he flicked open a panel that Danny had never noticed before and pressed a blank button. He closed the panel again and stepped back, holding his hands in front of him and watching the elevator arm slide up and up until it stopped at the top level but the elevator continued to go up. Half a minute later the elevator stopped and the doors slid open to reveal a huge room with a windowed ceiling that showed the sidewalk above. People walked over it without reacting, so it was obvious that the window only went one way, but that wasn’t even the most interesting part of the room.

The room was full of plants, all sorts of plants that were being watered by watering cans that hovered from pot to pot, and bathed in the direct light from above. Off to the side, Danny spotted a room where some plants were being kept in pitch-black darkness.

She’d heard rumours of a greenhouse in the Ministry, but never believed it until now. She stepped into the room and breathed in deeply, revelling in the freshness of the air.

“This is my favourite place in the Ministry.”

Danny turned back to Pullen. She’d forgotten he was there and it must have showed on her face because he gave her a reassuring look as he stepped into the greenhouse.

“The Ministry is buried underground, but this place…” He gestured around them. “It’s the only part that sees the light.”

They both looked up at the window and when Danny glanced over at him she saw that he was wearing the same awed look that she was. He realised that she was watching him and grimaced, turning his attention back to her. “Lawrence, the state of the Ministry has been… less than ideal.”

“It’s crap,” she said and then added, “Sir.”

He smiled at her reaction. “Right. I thought that perhaps I could change things with the MLE, but any change that I have managed to make is negligible. The way Azkaban has been managed is inexcusable.”

Danny took in a quick breath - here it came.

“You wanted to be an auror from a very young age, didn’t you Lawrence?”

Danny was thrown off guard by the comment - that had not been what she was expecting. She caught herself quickly and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“I remember your application essay. You were very passionate about being an auror.”

“I was.”

“You gave up being an auror to do the right thing.”

Danny felt the other shoe drop. She lifted her chin up higher. “I did.”

“That’s exactly why you should be an auror.”

“Sir, I don’t think…”

He held up his hand. “Hear me out. I’ve been speaking to people in different departments and they are all quite displeased with the direction the Ministry has taken. Some for their own reasons,” he muttered to himself. “Regardless, I’ve been approached to take on the position of Minister.”

“A coup?”

His eyes were sharply focused on her, trying to gauge her reaction. “Yes.”

Danny rolled the information around in her mind for a moment and then offered him her hand. “You’ll make an excellent Minister, sir.”

He smiled proudly and took her hand, shaking it firmly. “Will you work for me, Lawrence? I’ll be reviewing the case of every person imprisoned in Azkaban, I need people I can trust to help me do that.”

Danny thought about the MLE badge that she’d ripped off her auror coat. The look on the face of the Azkaban prisoner who had grabbed at that same coat. The stories that LaFontaine had told her quietly between gasps and clenched fists.

“I will help you,” she agreed. His eyes lit up but then she added, “But I won’t come back as an auror. Sir.”

Disappointment skewed his expression, but he pushed it aside smoothly. “Thank you, Lawrence.”

“Of course, sir.”

She cast one last look up at the bright sun above and then followed him back to the elevator to descend into the Ministry.

\---

LaFontaine had gone home to visit their parents – partly because their parents had taken a sudden vested interest in them after their arrest, and partly because they wanted to let Laura and Carmilla have the house to themselves. (After everything they kind of deserved it.)

Laura and Carmilla were on the floor in front of the fireplace, Carmilla leaning against the side of the couch and Laura lying down with her head in Carmilla’s lap. Carmilla’s fingers combed through Laura’s hair absently as they savoured in being in each other’s company again.

“What you did for Kirsch was amazing,” Laura said as she shifted her head, giving Carmilla access to more of her hair. Carmilla had spent a solid few hours helping Kirsch try and get the transfiguration down, patient even when he started to get frustrated at himself.

Carmilla just hummed as her thumb started to make circles at the base of Laura’s skull and a content smile spread over Laura’s face as her eyes drifted closed. After a few minutes Laura opened her eyes and scanned Carmilla’s face.

“You seem…” Laura hesitated. “You seem better than I thought you would.”

A muscle in Carmilla’s jaw twitched, her hand stilling on Laura’s scalp, and Laura panicked, wondering if she’d overstepped.

“I mean, it’s a good thing. You seem… good.”

Carmilla continued to stay silent and Laura was about to say something else when she finally spoke. “You all came for me.”

Laura sat up, bringing herself up to Carmilla’s eye level, and tilted her head. “Of course we did.”

“No, I mean… I knew you would. And I figured Clifford would pretend like she was leading the charge. And Ginger Snap would have some misaligned feeling of duty. But the rest of them…” Carmilla shrugged. “I didn’t know I meant that much.”

“Carm…” Laura reached out to her, not knowing what to say and relying on physical contact to say what she didn’t know how to.

“And my step mother.” Carmilla’s eyes went to the fire and she watched the flames flicker. “She… saved me. I guess.”

“Is it confusing?”

Carmilla’s eyes narrowed for a moment and then she sighed, finally looking back at Laura. “I’m going to do something and you’re not going to want me to, but I need you to trust me.”

A moment of panic rose in Laura’s chest as to what that could be, but she wrestled it down. “I trust you.”

The smile Carmilla gave her was beautifully warm as she leaned over to kiss Laura, whispering a thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	37. The Conversation

Carmilla was standing in a dark hallway.

The sound of her breathing filled her ears and she could feel her heart pump blood steadily through her veins. The hallway stretched in front of her, long and empty, and there was something about the door at the end that made her feel uncomfortable.

She glanced behind her, the hallway fell into a pitch blackness that she knew she couldn’t go that way. She turned back to the door and swallowed down, starting to walk towards it. With each step a static anxiety filled her gut, but she kept walking, focusing hard on the door.

When she got to it she stopped, staring at the pockmarked wooden door, and reached forward to grasp the handle…

“What do you think we could do for them?”

Carmilla’s eyes opened and she realised that she was in bed. Laura and Kirsch were having a hushed conversation in the doorway and she tossed up between letting them know that they’d woken her up, or just pretending that she was asleep and hopefully not getting dragged into whatever scheme they were hatching.

“Maybe we should take them to that restaurant they really wanted to go to.”

“How expensive was it again?”

“Well…”

Carmilla groaned and Laura was by her side. “I’m sorry, did we wake you? We were trying to be quiet.”

Carmilla sat up and turned to face them, rolling her eyes. “Chewy’s voice is like thunder.”

Kirsch grimaced. “Sorry bro.”

“Take them on the Devil’s Run. Get their blood pumping,” Carmilla suggested as she got to her feet and went over to the bathroom.

Kirsch followed her. “How do you know about the Devil’s Run?”

Carmilla started to brush her teeth and gave him a look as her toothbrush dangled out of her mouth. “Everyone knows about the Devil’s Run.” She spat in the sink. “I swear, you Quidditch nerds think you have some super secret society, but you brag to everyone who’ll listen.” She shoved him on the chest and closed the door in his face.

He turned to Laura. “Do you want to come with us, Little L?”

Laura eyed the bathroom door and then shook her head. “No, I’ll stay here with Carmilla.”

“Alright.” He flashed her a grin and then pounded down the stairs to relay Carmilla’s suggestion to LaFontaine.

\---

Half an hour later Laura was sitting on the couch, fidgeting with her hands as she watched Carmilla move around the Shack.

“You look like you want to say something,” Carmilla said as she opened the trunk that still lived in the corner of the Shrieking Shack lounge room.

“No! I said I trust you and I do, I trust you.”

Carmilla slipped something into her pocket and turned to face her again. “Come on cupcake, hit me with it.”

“I just… Are you sure about this?”

Carmilla didn’t look surprised or annoyed by the question as she walked over and stood in front of the seated Laura. She waited for Laura to look up at her, which she eventually did with a huffed pout.

Carmilla took Laura’s hands in hers. “I am.”

Laura narrowed her eyes at Carmilla. “If I have to come get you again, I'll be super mad.”

“Noted.”

Carmilla leaned down to kiss her and Laura returned the kiss with a furrowed brow. It ended sooner than she would have liked so she chased after Carmilla’s departing mouth. Carmilla’s lips quirked and she pressed another quick kiss to her lips. “I’ll be right back.”

She grabbed the Time-Turner necklace from where she’d left it on the side table and put it around her neck. She gave Laura a lopsided smile before turning it and disappearing.

Laura sighed to herself and began to pick at her fingernails harder as she waited for Carmilla to return.

\---

“Carmilla.”

For once, Carmilla didn’t appear at her step mother’s feet, this time she was standing in front of her and actually not feeling like she was ready to keel over.

Carmilla let out a breath as she looked around Nowhere and was surprised by how much she didn’t feel like she was going to have a panic attack. It had taken her some time to build up to the idea of coming here, complete with hyperventilating and her nails almost breaking through the skin of her palms, but now that she was here it faded as she recognised the room.

Well, sort of. It wasn’t exactly the same, but God it felt the same.

Her childhood home.

Her step mother seemed to decipher Carmilla’s realization and almost looked sheepish.

“If I’d known you could spruce up the place I would have done something different with mine.” Carmilla covered her surprise with sarcasm as best she could as she walked over to the nearest bookcase. She ran her eyes over the book spines, skimming the titles and cataloguing what she’d read, what she wanted to read, and what she’d never heard of. She was struck with how close her tastes ran to her step mother’s.

“I doubt returning would have been easy. Is there something in particular you came back for?”

Carmilla ran a finger over the spine of ‘The Little Prince’, feeling the embellished gold script under her fingertip and remembering how her father used to read it to her, the solid timbre of his voice echoing in her chest. She closed her eyes and pushed the memory aside, turning to her step mother.

“You traded places with me.”

“You think that deserves a conversation?”

Carmilla didn’t verbalise her reply, but it was clear on her face. Lilita nodded and two armchairs appeared in the centre of the room, facing each other at an angle. Lilita sat first and then gestured for Carmilla to join her, which she did after a moment’s hesitation.

“Why didn’t you help them? If you were planning to…” Carmilla hesitated, not able to find the words. Or not willing to say them. “Why didn’t you help sooner?”

“I am a wanted criminal who escaped Azkaban and caused a great deal of embarrassment to the Ministry. The only way to avoid detection and keep my magical presence relatively untraceable was to stay in Animagus form, so that my signature blended in with the magical static around Hogwarts. If I had taken human form they would have found and arrested me. And I wouldn’t be in a cell that I could escape from.”

Carmilla’s eyebrows rose but she didn’t say anything as her step mother continued. “I’d be no use to you imprisoned, and I doubt you would have allowed one of your friends to take your place.”

Carmilla nodded once, slowly.

Her step mother’s expression softened. “I wish I could have come sooner.”

Carmilla fixed her gaze back on the books.

“Was it… difficult?” her step mother asked haltingly. Carmilla’s eyes snapped back to her. “I only ask because, while I wouldn’t take it back, I do wonder what fate I have sealed for myself.”

Carmilla wasn’t sure why she started telling her. Maybe it was pity. For some reason being back in Nowhere helped loosen her tongue, turned her feelings into words that she could say. Words that she couldn’t manage in the normal world.

“It was… nothing. For a long time. I couldn’t control it. I tried to see people, to… I could feel them. Sometimes. Sometimes I’d dream while I was awake. I’d be tired but never sleep.” Carmilla scowled. “Then there were the times I’d crave food. Not because I was hungry, but because, burgers…”

She remembered who she was speaking to and stopped. She’d gotten carried away with the feeling of being able to talk, forgotten herself, and now her shoulders tensed as she shifted and avoided looking at her step mother. “But you have all these books, so...”

Silence sat between them, as heavy as a physical wall, and Carmilla felt the object in her pocket shift.

“I understand that this might be the last thing you want but…” Lilita took in a quick breath. “With my fugitive status and William’s incarceration, the Dean estate falls to you.”

Carmilla’s stomach turned uncomfortably as she thought of the castle, the high ceilings, the cold rooms, the cellar.

“You can do whatever you like with it. Let it fall to disrepair. Burn it to the ground,” Lilita suggested and then thought about it. “That might be the best thing for it.” Off Carmilla’s look she gave a tight, pained smile. “It is not my favourite place.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Carmilla muttered.

“There is also a sizeable family fortune at Gringotts.”

Money had never been something that Carmilla sought out. It had been made worthless by a father who prized love and refused to mention money (and their lack of) in front of her. And then, growing up in the exceedingly wealthy Dean household had left her with little understanding of the reality of money.

Lilita didn’t expand on what exactly ‘sizeable’ meant and Carmilla didn’t ask. She didn’t really know what to say, this was a gift that she hadn’t asked for or expected. In all this time she’d never felt like a ‘Dean’ so suddenly being in charge of the family inheritance?

Super weird.

Carmilla stood, not able to be sitting down next to her step mother right now because she didn’t know how she felt. On one hand she wanted to throw it back in her face, refuse to have any part of it, but on the other hand she supposed that it was nice. Or something.

She went over to the nearest bookshelf and pretended to be scanning the titles while she swallowed hard and – was that tears starting to gather in her eyes?

No, she couldn’t cry. Why did she even want to cry? This was so stupid. All she’d done was give her a house that she hated and a pile of money.

“I wish I could give you more.”

Christ, was she serious right now? Carmilla pulled Treasure Island out of the bookshelf and examined the snarling pirates on the cover. It was the same cover that she’d grown up with and it made something else build in her chest, making her eyes burn more.

She cleared her throat, hoping it would somehow help, and tilted her face to the ceiling, praying for gravity to do its job and stop the tears from spilling over.

This was stupid. This was stupid. This was stupid.

Why did she care that her step mother was saying this? Why did she…

She closed her eyes and that forced the tears out, making them roll down her cheeks. Breathe. Breathe.

She put the book back on the shelf and ran her hands over her face, pretending it had nothing to do with the wetness of her cheeks, and then through her hair as she let out a sharp breath.

Not now, she said to herself as she carefully packed away her emotions. She had something else to do now. She looked around the room and knew that the question that she had come to ask, the only question that really mattered, had already been answered. She reached into her pocket and gripped what she had put in there earlier. She had to trust her gut. It may be confused by past instincts, but she still knew what to do.

(She really hoped that the fact that she had cried wasn’t obvious.)

She turned back to her step mother, whose face was thankfully expressionless, and pulled out the Resurrection Stone. She ran a thumb over the top of it before crossing the space between them and handing it to her.

“Carmilla,” her step mother breathed out her name as if it was a prayer. She stared down at the stone that Carmilla had handed her, cupping it in her hands carefully.

“Don’t worry about it,” Carmilla muttered. “These books won’t last you forever, so.”

Lilita was still staring at the stone, not knowing what to say. Finally, she looked up at Carmilla. “Do you want to see him?”

The offer hit a place inside Carmilla that she had just tried to brick up and she felt the echo of it bounce around her chest. She didn’t know what to say – last year the idea had seemed unhealthy, but this year…

After everything, the idea of seeing her father one last time didn’t seem so black and white. Everything was shades of grey and she couldn’t tell which side of the spectrum this fell on.

What would Laura do?

Hell, what would any of them do?

Most importantly, what would her dad do? She didn’t know. Because she didn’t know him. The only person that she’d loved for the first sixteen years of her life and she didn’t even know him that well. He was just a mix of love and kindness and books.

She had thought of him a lot during her time in Nowhere. Her thoughts usually went from Laura to him to the others to her step mother back to Laura. She’d realised just how little she knew about him; after all this time he felt more like a concept than an actual person.

She reached forward and cupped her hand around her step mother’s as she started to flip the stone in her palm.

\---

“Hey Little L,” Kirsch greeted Laura as he entered the Shack, his cheeks and ears red from the cold. LaFontaine was close behind, puffing warm breath into their cupped hands. “Where’s Carmilla at?”

Laura was still sitting in the same spot. Okay, so she had left the spot for like five minutes to go and grab a book because this was taking a while and she had to try and distract herself in some way, but she had totally made sure that she returned to the same spot.

Laura grimaced. She had hoped that Carmilla would return before them, because she didn’t really want to have to explain where Carmilla had gone. LaFontaine and Kirsch had been devastated enough the first time.

“How was the Devil’s Run?” she asked in a light voice and the distraction worked as Kirsch burst into a huge grin and put an arm around LaF’s shoulders.

“Totally got smoked by the Ravenclaw. I can see why you’re the Seeker, bro.”

This was probably the happiest Laura had ever seen Kirsch talk about a loss and she had a distinct feeling that he’d thrown the race – which was reflected in LaFontaine’s unimpressed expression.

“You backed off,” they accused.

“I did not.”

“I could totally beat you if you played fair.”

“I was playing fair!”

“We’re having a rematch. And I swear, if I feel you pulling up at the last minute I’m going to get Perry to aim a beater at your-” LaFontaine realised what they were saying too late and they stopped. Their mouth hung open for a moment before they snapped it shut and looked away, cheeks coloring.

Laura and Kirsch traded a look and Laura moved towards them, tugging on their sleeve. “Hey, so I need some help with Potions. I wasn’t really paying attention in the past couple of weeks.”

LaFontaine saw through the thin veil of Laura’s request to the intention behind it but they didn’t say anything, just sighed and agreed to help her.

“Yeah, me too dude.” Kirsch grimaced. “I kind of missed a bunch of classes and stuff.”

LaFontaine started heading to the stairs to fetch their cauldron but was stopped by Laura asking in a small voice, “Um, do you think we can do it down here?”

That had been the plan, but the way Laura was guiltily biting her lip had piqued LaFontaine’s curiosity. Their eyes narrowed as they searched Laura’s face and then the rest of the room. “Laura, where’s Carmilla?”

It was at that moment that the door to the Shrieking Shack opened and Danny walked in, stamping her boots and taking off her beanie. She was combing her fingers through her hair when everyone’s attention spun to her and she froze. “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	38. The Shadow

The first thing that Carmilla realised when the ghost of her father appeared in front of her was that seeing him in person was different than seeing him in the Pensieve. The lens of her memory skewed the Pensieve – seeing him now was like seeing him properly for the first time since he’d passed.

He wasn't as tall as she remembered.

When she was younger she only used to come halfway up his torso, but now she almost came up to his shoulders. He used to be this incredible tower of a person to her; now she realised that he was about Kirsch's height, except with broader shoulders.

He was younger than she remembered.

He'd only been a year older than she was now when he'd had her, and she’d never realised how _young_ that made him. He always seemed like an Adult, old and lame, but looking at him now made something inside her ache. She’d always thought he’d been taken from her too soon, but now she realised that he’d been taken from himself too soon.

But at the same time, she remembered him perfectly. She remembered the steep slope of his nose that he used to nudge into her before he'd kiss her sloppily on the cheek. She remembered the salt and pepper beard that she used to run her fingers through, marvelling at the rough prickles and trying to make them stick up at odd angles. She remembered his eyes, the eyes she saw every day in the mirror.

And she remembered his voice.

“Hey cupcake.”

“Dad.” Her voice broke with tears and she didn't even care.

His eyes were shining as he said in a rough voice, “I've missed you, kiddo.”

“What you don't ghost-stalk me?” she asked and gave a watery laugh.

“Every day,” he replied with a seriousness that made her clench her jaw as she willed the tears not to start streaming down her face. “I'm really proud of you sweetheart.”

Okay, so the tears were definitely going now and God she didn't care. She didn't care. It was her dad and his voice was the same and his eyes and  _God_  it was her dad.

“I miss you so much, Dad.”

His brow knotted with pain and his lips pulled to the side as his face ducked down and he swiped at the corner of his eyes with the back of his hands. When he looked back up at her he smiled through the sadness in his eyes. “I really like Laura by the way.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, taking her own surreptitious swipe at them. “ _Dad_.”

“What? I think she's good for you.”

Horror suddenly spread over Carmilla's expression. “Please tell me you don't see everything.”

He pulled a face. “Only the G rated stuff.”

“Just checking.”

“I'm really happy you found all those friends.”

Carmilla smiled, small and gentle. “They sort of found me.”

“I know.” They shared a moment; both aching to hug but knowing that he didn't have a corporeal body. Finally, his attention went to Lilita, who was crying silently next to Carmilla. “Lily, my love.”

“They healed me,” she choked out.

“I know, baby.” His eyes were adoring and warm as they ran over her face. “I'm so glad you're back.”

“So am I.”

“Thank you. For saving Carmilla.”

“It's the least I could...” She lost her words but no one else in the room pressed her to continue.

They stood like that for a long moment, the three of them aching for each other and unable to embrace. There was so much to say, but no words to say it – nothing was big enough - so they all stood with each other, just existing in the same space was enough. Carmilla finally spoke in a strangled voice, “Dad, I have to...”

“I know, sweetheart,” he replied in a gentle voice. “Go.”

His words were meant to be assuring but she felt it like a stab to the chest, her face falling and biting her lip. “Fuck.” She buried her face in her free hand and felt like she was tearing an old scar open anew as she forced herself to breathe. She looked back up at him. “I don't want to go.”

“I'll always be by your side, cupcake,” he promised. “Every day for the rest of your life, you will never be alone.”

“Way to make it creepy,” she joked through a sob.

“I'm not creepy, I'm your dad.”

She rolled her eyes and ignored the fact that it made fresh tears escape her eyes. “You're a loser.”

“Maybe, but what does that make you?”

“Daughter of a loser.”

He smiled proudly. “Damn right.”

Carmilla bit her lip again and as she let out a long breath the atmosphere shifted again. “I love you Dad. More than anything.”

“To the moon and back, cupcake.”

Carmilla gave something between a sob and a laugh as the words her father used to say to her every night before bed came back to her in what felt like a lightning bolt to the chest. “To the moon and back,” she echoed.

She let go of her step mother's hand and the image of her father faded from her view. She let her eyes close slowly and swallowed back what she could of the emotions that had been laid bare. When she had pulled together what she could, she re-opened her eyes to the empty space in front of her and turned to her step mother. She didn't have to say anything, her step mother just nodded and then Carmilla was standing in the lounge room of the Shrieking Shack. (For once she didn't feel dizzy at all.)

“Where the hell have you been, you stupid-?” Danny took hard, fast steps towards her, body tight with fury, until she actually saw Carmilla's face and stopped. “Are you okay?”

Before Carmilla could respond Laura was practically on top of her, holding her tightly from behind. Carmilla let out a surprised exhale and then relaxed as much as she could into Laura’s embrace, putting a hand over Laura's arms. LaFontaine was watching her with quiet, discerning eyes, and Kirsch looked like he was straining to hold himself back from joining Laura in hugging her.

It was too much. All these people, all this attention on her. She couldn't pull herself together enough for this.

Carmilla patted Laura's hand and excused herself from the group, quietly exiting the Shack. She pulled in a puff of the cold winter air before shaking herself down into Animagus form and taking off towards the mountains.

Inside the Shack, Danny stared at the closed door. “What do you think that was about?”

“She saw her dad,” Laura answered quietly. When Carmilla had taken the stone Laura had thought of the possibility but didn't want to say it out loud, not knowing how Carmilla would react. After everything that had happened, she wasn't surprised that Carmilla's answer had changed, or that she’d needed space afterwards. All she could do was be here when Carmilla returned.

When Carmilla returned, she reminded herself.  _When_.

Danny followed Laura’s gaze and moved closer to her. “Did you want me to go with her?” she asked quietly.

Laura gave Danny the most of a smile that she could muster, but it came out absent. “If she’ll let you.”

Danny nodded and left the Shack.

Laura sat back down on the couch and Kirsch was immediately next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“I can teach you potions now?” LaFontaine suggested.

\---

Danny picked up on Carmilla’s scent as soon as she shifted, but it took a while to find her. When she finally did at the summit of a mountain she approached slowly, unsure of what Carmilla’s reaction would be. She saw the panther’s hackles rise and tail twitch agitatedly, thumping on the ground next to her. Danny paused, not particularly wanting to face the wrath of a furious cat, but when Carmilla didn’t show any other reaction she continued towards her.

Danny gave Carmilla a solid metre of space when she sat down and Carmilla looked over at her with half-lidded eyes. She didn’t seem thrilled, but she didn’t seem angry either – which was probably the best Danny could have hoped for.

The sun had started to set, painting the snow-capped mountains around them a warm yellow. Not that Danny could see colours properly, but she could smell the sun’s rays on the snow.

Danny wasn’t sure if she should do something or say something, she wasn’t even sure if Carmilla wanted her here right now. Her hesitance came through in her heavy pants and the sweat that was starting to gather at the pads of her paws. She could feel Carmilla get tenser with each pant but she couldn’t help it, it made her feel better and the damn cat was being so aloof right now.

Finally Carmilla turned her brown eyes to Danny, disgust clear in them as her tail twitched aggravatedly. Danny gave a quiet whine in the back of her throat, which transitioned into a sharp bark. Carmilla’s ears flattened back and she reached out with her paw, shoving Danny hard. Danny caught herself before she fell onto her side and snapped in Carmilla’s direction with a low growl. Carmilla yawned in response.

 _Asshole_ , Danny thought as she dropped down onto her stomach and forced her panting to stop.

They sat in still silence until the sun had set completely and Carmilla started back towards the Shack.

Normally, Danny would never dare do this on one of their runs, but this felt different, so she turned back again, shaking herself out of her Animagus form. “Carmilla.”

( _Fuck_ , it was cold up here. She regretted her move instantly as she wrapped her arms around herself.)

Carmilla turned around, her eyes narrowed with surprise at Danny changing, but they quickly resettled into a lazy expression.

“I get that we have this whole… Can we just put that aside for a second? I give a shit about you. And if saying that makes me lose some dumb competition where we pretend to hate each other then fine. But Carmilla, this thing with your dad...”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and shifted into human form. “Stop.”

Danny was relieved that Carmilla had matched her human form, she was fifty percent sure that Carmilla wouldn’t and she’d leave her on the mountain.

“Are you okay?” Danny repeated her question from earlier, this time with more weight to it.

Carmilla looked like she wasn’t going to say anything for a long moment. Then her eyes shifted to the horizon past Danny, where the sky was already black. She walked over to the lip of the summit, somehow not reacting to the bracing cold as she looked out.

“Do you ever dream in Animagus form?” Carmilla asked and Danny was utterly unsurprised by the subject change.

“All the time.”

“Back when I was living at my step mother’s, I woke up in Animagus form out in the woods. I had to sprint to make it back before anyone noticed.”

Danny was unsure of how to reply to a story that felt so personal. Even though they had shared personal moments before, they were all nonverbal and in Animagus form when everything was a lot simpler. So, she searched her mind for something she could offer in return.

“We found Harris raiding the kitchen one morning in his form.” Danny smiled warmly at the memory. “He woke the whole house.”

“What’s his form?”

For once it felt like Carmilla was making polite conversation and it threw Danny off but she recovered quickly. “A bear.”

“Nice,” Carmilla commented absently. Danny could feel Carmilla fade into her thoughts, having shed the simple clarity of the Animagus form, and she touched her lightly on the arm to draw her attention from the stars in front of them.

When Carmilla finally looked back at her Danny didn’t say anything, just raised an eyebrow, and Carmilla nodded.

They both shifted back and stayed for a moment longer, taking in the view as Animagi – seeing with more than their eyes, breathing in the mountain air, swallowing the chunks of cold, forest, stars, night, before setting a thundering pace down the mountain.

When they got back to the Shack Carmilla walked in before Danny and there was something in the way she held herself that felt significant. Kirsch, LaFontaine and Laura were all gathered around LaF’s cauldron and they looked up with expressions like kids getting caught doing something that they weren’t meant to.

This time Laura hesitated before embracing Carmilla, but once Carmilla offered her a weary but welcoming smile she rushed over. With Laura’s arms wrapped around her Carmilla’s smile grew more tender and she looked around the room to the others. Kirsch was still giving her this eager, desperate look while his body practically thrummed so she rolled her eyes and waved him over. Which apparently was an invitation to everyone, because a second later she was being held by all the teenagers and breathing was starting to become an issue.

But, like, in the best way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	39. The Eve

Kirsch ran into the Shack holding a letter aloft, tripping over LaFontaine’s cauldron as he did. He scrambled to stand up straight again and set the cauldron upright before waving the letter around. “Bros, bros, you’re all totally invited to Christmas dinner at my house.”

Much to Kirsch’s disappointment no one reacted to his entrance. They were all sitting on the floor, gathered around the coffee table and focused on LaFontaine’s pack of Exploding Snap cards, wands prepared. Except Carmilla, who was casually coiled around Laura, watching the deck with a lazy gaze.

“We’re going to mine for Christmas,” Danny replied without looking up from the stack of upturned cards in the middle of the table.

“Uh, no, my parents invited you all over for the whole rescuing me from prison thing,” LaFontaine countered as they shifted their grip on their wand, leaning forward towards the stack ever so slightly.

“I promised my dad that we’d go to his since I’m not staying there during break.” Laura snuck her wand in quickly as a second Bowtruckle card appeared and tapped the deck, winning the hand and giving a delighted fist-pump.

Everyone looked at Carmilla and she gave a shrug. “What? I was just going to steal food from the Hogwarts kitchen.”

“What do you want to do?” Danny asked and then let out a frustrated sound when her diverted attention let Laura snake another win.

“It’s up to me now?”

“Well you’re the least biased – Merlin’s beard,” Danny swore as she missed another pair, this time LaFontaine managing to get in just before Laura. “So you get to pick.”

Carmilla shrugged. “Whatever Laura wants to do.”

Danny was about to give a snarky reply when Laura caught the last pair, winning the game and instead Danny let out a string of expletives and threw her wand down on the table. As she pushed herself away from the table and glared at the stack of cards, Kirsch slotted himself into the circle.

He leaned forward eagerly with his chin on top of his folded up knees. “Again, again!”

As LaFontaine started setting up the pack again Laura suggested, “We could draw up a schedule?”

Carmilla grunted. “Four families in one day. Awesome. Will Pippi Longstocking drag us to hers as well?”

The deck exploded in LaFontaine’s hands and everyone looked over at them. They were staring down at their hands, their ears bright red, and they glanced up at everyone else with a grimace. Collecting the cards, they cleared their throat. “Perry’s family usually comes over to mine for Christmas.”

An awkward tension settled in the room until Carmilla piped up, “Awkward.”

Laura elbowed her in the stomach and she winced. “We don’t have to go to yours,” Carmilla offered.

“No, I want to be friends with her. Avoiding probably isn’t the best way to do that.”

“Alright, suit yourself.” Another jab from Laura. “I mean, if you’re sure.”

LaFontaine set the re-organised cards down on the table, ignoring the way that their stomach swirled. “Totally.”

\---

As Laura and Carmilla both pulled the top sheet free from being tucked into the mattress – Laura’s habit not Carmilla’s, Carmilla refused to make the bed because she saw it as pointless – Laura sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Carmilla asked.

“Nothing,” Laura replied. Then she sighed again.

Carmilla threw a pillow at her. “What?”

Laura caught the pillow and dropped it onto her side of the bed without even blinking. “Do you think LaFontaine will be okay?”

Carmilla shrugged as they both got into the bed. “It’s a break up. I don’t think they’re meant to be okay for a while.”

Laura hummed as they lay facing each other and their legs automatically tangled together. “Do you think they can be friends with Perry again?”

Carmilla shrugged as she tucked her arm under her head and her other hand went to Laura’s hip.

“You need to be nicer to them.”

“Yes dear.”

“I’m serious.”

“I like to think my dry wit is helping them come to terms with things,” Carmilla defended herself.

Laura rolled her eyes. “Fine. But try to be a little nicer.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

Carmilla inched up the hem of Laura’s shirt and started to draw patterns on the bare skin of her hip.

“How are your dreams?” Laura asked.

Carmilla’s eyes snapped up to her. She hadn’t told Laura about the dreams, not in any detail, but there had been times that she’d woken up in a sweat or crying and hadn’t been able to hide it. Carmilla made a noncommittal noise and focused on the patterns she was drawing in Laura’s skin.

“You know you can talk to me if you need to.”

Carmilla hummed, the circles on Laura’s skin turning into figure eights.

“Or you don’t have to.”

Carmilla’s finger slowed on Laura’s skin.

“Whatever you want.”

Her hand stopped. “Cupcake. I promise, you will be the first to know.”

“Okay,” Laura gave in. “It’s just, with your dad and…”

Carmilla leaned forward and kissed her. “First to know,” she repeated.

“Oh- _kay_ ,” Laura said in a more resigned tone, her gaze dropping.

Carmilla studied Laura’s face for a moment and then she gave her hip a light squeeze. “He likes you.”

Laura looked back up with a wondrous expression on her face. “He does? Does he watch us? Oh God is he here now?” She leaned forward and whispered, “Has he seen us make out?”

Carmilla chuckled. “Chill, cupcake.”

“I just want to make sure that I make a good impression.”

“You did. You do.”

“Okay.” Laura settled into the crook of Carmilla’s neck and for a moment they relaxed into each other. Then Laura stiffened. “He hasn’t seen us make out though right?”

This time Carmilla was the one to swat Laura on the shoulder.

Downstairs, LaFontaine and Kirsch were talking quietly in front of the fire while Danny snored steadily on the mattress behind them.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to know,” Kirsch admitted.

“No, I…” LaFontaine let out a quiet sigh. “I do. I miss her. Not just as my girlfriend, but…”

“She was your best friend.” Something in the way he said it reminded LaFontaine of the fact that he had once been close with Will.

LaFontaine nodded, not having any words.

Kirsch’s mouth twisted in pity and he shuffled over to put an arm around LaF’s shoulders. “It’ll be okay, dude.”

LaFontaine sighed again. “I don’t know what to do if I lose her.”

Kirsch wanted to reassure them more, but he was caught not knowing what to say so instead he settled for giving LaF’s shoulders a squeeze. His mind kept whirring as he tried to think of something to say and finally offered, “Hey, maybe you should send her a letter. You know, still have space but like get back into talking and stuff?”

LaFontaine winced. “We haven’t had the best history when it comes to letters.”

“So change it,” Kirsch urged. There was something in the way that he said it that made LaFontaine feel like it was possible, like this might actually be their chance. (They suddenly realised what a good captain Kirsch was.)

“Thanks Kirsch.”

\---

Perry sighed as she shut the door to her bedroom and closed her eyes. It had been one of the longest weeks, and it wasn’t even over yet. After returning the Time-Turner sand to the Ministry dock (missing a few precious grains of sand because you never knew when that would come in handy) the internship had become a purely bureaucratic job. And sure, Perry was  _good_  at bureaucracy, but that didn’t mean that she  _enjoyed_  it.

Plus it was Christmas Eve and usually this was when she and LaFontaine would head onto the back of their properties and LaFontaine would set off fireworks. (Testing for the New Years fireworks, which were invariably used as a test for their Valentines Day fireworks. LaFontaine was really into fireworks.)

She looked out her bedroom window, which faced the backyard, as if the fireworks would be going off. As if LaFontaine would be outside waiting for her.

But no, the sky was empty.

She started getting changed, sighing in relief as she got out of the business wear that her mother insisted she wear. With her far more comfortable flannel pajamas on she sat down at her bay window and tucked her feet under her.

She didn’t regret breaking up with LaFontaine. Their relationship was so convoluted at this point that having space was a necessity before things between them progressed past the point of no return. But she missed them so much that it felt like a physical ache.

She was used to not having many friends – people found her personality grating. But now, for the first time since she was five years old, she felt alone.

She let out a shuddering breath and tightened her arms around her. Not just alone – she corrected – lonely. For LaFontaine.

A small tawny owl flew into her line of sight and slammed against her window. She started and then frowned as she recognized the owl. LaFontaine’s owl - Roderick (named after Roderick Plumpton, one of LaFontaine’s favourite seekers).

Perry quickly opened the window and let the owl in, which looked a little worse for wear after the collision. (Roderick also had an issue with depth perception at times.) She offered him a treat and bit her lip as she stared down at the letter he’d delivered. She ran her fingers over LaFontaine’s handwriting and wrestled with whether to read it or not. The memory of LaFontaine’s last letter was still burned into her mind.

But, she supposed, this couldn’t be any worse than that.

She opened it.

\---

Carmilla’s eyes snapped open.

 _Fuck_ , she swore internally. She had been dreaming about the door again. The same hallway, the same door, and the same time waking up just as she reached for the knob.

Her trepidation at opening the door was starting to turn into annoyance every time she woke up. Next time she’d just break the damn door down.

Laura was sleeping soundly next to her, one arm above her head and the other one reaching over to drape across Carmilla’s stomach. Carmilla lifted the hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to it before she slid out of bed and made her way downstairs.

She didn’t know what time it was, just that it was still dark outside, and that the fire in the fireplace had dimmed to a small glow. Without the fire, the house had taken on the chill from outside and Carmilla folded her arms, trying to fend off the goose bumps as she dodged the creaking step and made her way to the front door.

“Karnstein?”

Carmilla sighed to herself and turned to see Danny squinting at her from across the room. Apparently she was never allowed to spend a sleepless night alone.

“You’re dreaming, go back to sleep.”

Danny rolled her eyes so obviously that Carmilla spotted it through the darkness. She hopped up off the couch, avoiding LaFontaine’s spread eagled limbs as they slept soundly on the floor mattress, and collected her coat from next to the front door.

Carmilla simply stood there, not reacting to Danny’s nonverbal invitation, and Danny rolled her eyes again, opening the front door and stepping outside. Carmilla counted out a minute in her head before following.

“Don’t you feel the cold?” Danny asked as she pulled her coat on and shivered in the night air.

“Please,” Carmilla scoffed. She put her hands into her pockets and surreptitiously used her wand to cast a heating charm.

“Do you want to go for a run?”

For once, Carmilla didn’t. Usually the itch was always sitting in the back of her mind, but right now it just… wasn’t. “Do you?”

Danny didn’t reply for a moment. “You know what I want? Butterbeer.”

Carmilla smirked. “We should get some. And Firewhisky.” Danny looked less convinced by that idea and Carmilla added, “You know, celebrate. No one’s dead or in prison and I chalk that up to a solid win.”

A ghost of a smile passed over Danny’s face. “You’re right.”

“Too bad everything’s closed.”

Something seemed to occur to Danny as a look quirked her lips in a way that Carmilla could totally get on board with. “I know somewhere.”

\---

“Shut up, Karnstein.”

“You shut up, Lawrence.”

“I thought cats were meant to be quiet.”

“I _am_ quiet, your giant feet just got in my way.”

There was a grunt of annoyance. “The unlocking charm isn’t working.”

“Let me do it, Clifford.”

“I can _do_ an unlocking charm, I’m just saying that-”

“Unlocking charm doesn’t work on the liquor cabinet,” a deep voice said from behind them. Danny and Carmilla both jumped and the light snapped on, revealing Harris standing in the kitchen doorway with an amused expression on his face.

“I told you,” Danny said out of the corner of her mouth and Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“Dad charmed it after I broke into it with my friends back in fifth year,” Harris explained with a shrug. Then he grinned at Danny. “Hey little sister, fancy seeing you here.”

Danny went over to her brother, giving him a hug. “Please don’t tell Dad.”

“Secret’s safe with me.”

“Hey Harris,” Carmilla greeted the older Lawrence.

He tipped a nod towards her. “Karnstein. Hey, you never told me you were an Animagus.”

Carmilla traded a look with Danny, who seemed equally surprised by him knowing this.

“How did you-?”

“I have a sixth sense.” He let the two girls gape at him for a solid half minute before he cracked a grin. “I started working for the Animagus register. They make you memorise everyone on the registry.”

“You got the job?” Danny pulled Harris back into another hug. “Congratulations!”

He gave her a warm smile. “Thanks sis.”

“If we aren’t in trouble can we go?”

“What you don’t want the alcohol anymore, Karnstein?” he asked her.

She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again, looking over at Danny, unsure of how to respond. “Yes?”

Harris snickered and went over to the cabinet, flicking the latch open. He grabbed a bottle of Firewhisky and a six-pack of butterbeer, juggling them in his arms as he closed the cabinet again. He held them just out of Danny’s reach and raised an eyebrow. “You owe me.”

Danny rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

He handed the alcohol over with a smirk and left the kitchen. “Be good, children.”

Carmilla went over to the cabinet to examine the latch, much to Danny’s annoyance, who wanted to bail before they got found again.

“Karnstein,” she hissed. “Let’s go.”

“What kind of charm do you think it is?”

“The kind of charm that is meant to stop us from stealing alcohol, now come on.” With her free hand Danny grabbed Carmilla by the collar and dragged her out the back door, disapparating once they were outside.

\---

Carmilla threw the Butterbeer cap off the Shack roof, pelting it as far as she could and cheering when it hit the Three Broomsticks roof.

“Good shot,” Danny commented, mouth resting against the lip of her bottle.

Carmilla took the bottle of Firewhisky from between them and swallowed a swig from it, grimacing and quickly chasing it down with a pull from the Butterbeer.

“You can drink,” Danny observed.

Carmilla kicked at a corner of a roof tile and shrugged. “Not all of us are lightweights.”

“Shut up, I’m not a lightweight.” Danny went to shove Carmilla on the shoulder but her hand glanced off and instead she stumbled into her. Carmilla snickered as Danny quickly sat back up and brushed herself off with rough, embarrassed movements.

Carmilla offered her the Firewhisky bottle as an olive branch and Danny swiped it off her, taking a solid swig and making a loud hiss as she winced at the burn. She took a lazy swig of her Butterbeer bottle and leaned against Carmilla, but seemed unaware that she was leaning.

“Pullen asked me to be an auror again.”

Carmilla made a sound between recognition and questioning. When Danny didn’t take the cue she asked, “What did you say?”

Danny shrugged and then turned her body to face Carmilla, shuffling back so that she was leaning against the chimney with one leg on either side of the peak of the roof. “No. After everything… I trust Pullen, but I can’t work for the Ministry.”

“Harris doesn’t have a problem with working for them.”

“Harris wasn’t in Azkaban.”

Carmilla nodded silently.

“I missed you,” Danny said out of nowhere. “Everyone was so miserable. LaFontaine and Perry weren’t talking, and Kirsch lost his arm, and Laura… And the only thing I could think was ‘if Carmilla was here she’d know the perfect thing to say’.” Danny sighed, taking another drink while she looked out at rooftops of the Hogsmeade buildings. “Some stupid jerk thing.”

“How sweet,” Carmilla deadpanned. She took in a quick breath and then muttered, “I missed you too, I guess.”

Danny grinned wide and threw the Firewhisky bottle at her underarm. To Danny’s surprise, Carmilla snatched it out of the air easily.

“How come you never played Quidditch?”

Carmilla didn’t even deign that with a response beyond an eye roll as she unscrewed the lid and started to take an extra long drink to prove a point. Three seconds in Danny started cheering, egging her on.

Finally Carmilla stopped, holding the bottle as far away from her as possible as her other hand went to her mouth, clearly struggling to take control of her gag reflex.

“Karnsteeeeeiiin,” Danny crowed triumphantly. Carmilla stuck her middle finger up at her as she finally managed to swallow the liquid down, although a lump was still sitting high up in her throat. She took a solid few gulps from her Butterbeer until the lump started to go down and glared at the beaming Danny.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

Carmilla and Danny both leaned over to look down and saw Laura, Kirsch and LaFontaine standing in the front yard staring up at them incredulously. Danny quickly ducked out of sight. “Shit, do you think they saw us?”

“We can hear you, geniuses,” LaFontaine called up to them.

Danny looked over at Carmilla with a panicked expression. “What do we do?”

Carmilla shrugged and then shouted down, “Do you guys want a drink?”

Which was how the five of them ended up on the roof of the Shrieking Shack, drinking Butterbeer and passing a bottle of Firewhisky between them until the sun went up.

After the sun rose Laura yawned wide and tapped Carmilla’s knee, leaning back to kiss her on the cheek. “I’m going to go inside, are you coming?”

Carmilla didn’t quite look ready to go inside yet but she nodded. “Sure.”

LaFontaine joined them and they each leapt off the roof using their wands to slow their falls so that they landed on the ground gently.

Danny had started to sober up, having finished the last of the Firewhisky an hour earlier, and was leaning her chin on Kirsch’s shoulder. He was sitting between her legs and she had her arms wrapped around him, keeping herself warm with his body heat.

She gave a short yawn and he leaned back into her. “Tired?” His back thrummed with his voice and she tightened her arms, enjoying the vibrations against her chest.

She hummed and turned her head so that her cheek was resting on his shoulder.

“Wanna go down?”

“In a bit.”

He couldn’t help but smile as he wrapped his arms over the top of hers. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	40. The Christmas

Danny stumbled into the kitchen of the Shrieking Shack and started a pot of coffee, blindly feeling around in the cupboard for the sugar before pulling it out and dumping it on the counter.

They were due for brunch at the LaFontaines in half an hour and Danny had only managed to get an hour’s sleep after coming down from the roof. Caffeine was definitely needed.

“Late night?” Carmilla smirked from behind a mug of tea.

Danny, not having realised that Carmilla was sitting at the breakfast table behind her, jumped and muttered a slew of swear words. Laura gave Carmilla a look from the opposite side of the table and Carmilla just shrugged and took a sip of her tea.

“Are you going to be able to get through today okay?” Laura asked as Danny stood there, zoning out as she stared at the coffee pot.

“Yeah, I… Fine,” Danny mumbled.

Carmilla’s eyebrow rose and she shared a look with Laura before using her wand to actually switch on the stove that the coffee percolator was sitting on.

LaFontaine blew into the kitchen with their hair sticking up at odd angles and wearing a half tucked in blue dress shirt with the cuffs unbuttoned. They reached around Danny to grab the kettle and put it on the stove. The rapidity of their movement made Danny stumble back into the wall, gripping onto it as it were a life raft with one hand, the other held over her eyes.

LaFontaine grabbed one of the pieces of toast in front of Carmilla and took a bite out of it before putting it back down on the plate. Carmilla’s face twisted with disgust and she shoved the whole plate towards them, which they accepted as they looked over at Danny. “Is she okay?”

“She’s a bit hung over,” Laura whispered.

“I’m not hung over,” Danny interjected, “I’m tired.” She removed the hand from her eyes and met the disbelieving looks of everyone else in the room. “And a little hung over.”

“Well if you could not be hung over when you meet my parents that would probably be good.”

“I’ll take that on board,” Danny snarked back as she rubbed her temples. The coffee finally finished and she leaped forward, pouring herself a large cup and breathing it in deeply. She sighed happily as she went over to the small table that Laura and Carmilla were sitting at and took a seat, resting her forehead on the table top as she waited for the coffee to cool down.

“Do you want some toast?” Laura offered and Danny shook her head, as much as she could anyway with her head on the table and not wanting to move very much.

“But it smells so good.” LaFontaine waved the toast in front of Danny’s face, and she groaned and swatted at their hand lazily.

“Is that coffee?” Kirsch slurred as he stumbled into kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and looking like he was following his nose into the kitchen more than anything else.

Danny pointed at the percolator without lifting her head off the table. He made a beeline for it, poured himself a cup – no sugar, no milk – and looked at the small table that had no more space around it. He shrugged and sat down on the floor, leaning against the cupboards and holding his mug up to face.

“Guys, we have to be at my parents’ in half an hour. And I know you all broke me out of Azkaban and everything but the Perrys’ are coming over and that always makes them super weird and really intense.” LaFontaine gestured emphatically with the piece of toast and then tore a piece off with their teeth. “I think my parents try to prove what a great family we are.”

“Plus, Pippi Longstocking’s going to be there,” Carmilla added and Laura kicked her under the table. “What? They stole my toast,” she hissed at Laura, who showed no sympathy.

“Yeah, that too.” LaF’s expression became troubled for a moment but then they wiped it clear, shoved the rest of the toast in their mouth, and started to tuck in the rest of their shirt. “You guys better be ready in twenty minutes or I’m going to curse you with wet socks for the rest of your lives,” they warned as they left the kitchen and went up to the bathroom to continue getting ready.

\---

“Merry Christmas!” the group chorused as the door to the LaFontaines’ opened. LaFontaine’s parents returned the greeting and ushered them inside. It wasn’t snowing, but it was incredibly windy and cold, so they were glad to get into the warmth of the house.

The last time everyone had come to the LaFontaines’ was summer holidays when Laura and Danny had gotten their results and the house was far different this time around. It was still a little worn down and there were a few suspect burn marks on the walls and the furniture, but it had been very obviously done up. There was a wreath at the door that twinkled at them, and sprigs of holly hanging over each doorway that led off the entrance hallway.

Everyone chattered happily as they were led in, depositing their coats in the closet by the door, and making their way into the living room where Perry was already sitting down next to the truly ridiculously sized Christmas tree. It was covered in ornaments that included bells that tinkled lightly, magical pictures of relatives who greeted them as they came in, and baubles that changed every few moments, the glitter on them rearranging from holiday platitudes to simple festive drawings. There was a fireplace with a roaring fire, kept going by a troop of miniature dragon models who would blow small bursts of fire into the place every few minutes; it almost looked like they were having a competition to see who could create the largest fireball.

Unfortunately, the stockings had fallen victim to the competition, as a few of them had scorch marks on the toes and had been moved to a table that was a respectable distance away from the fireplace. They had been arranged in a fan pattern across the table, but they still barely fit given how many of them there were (one for each guest and family member).

Perry was wearing a colourful Christmas jumper and had her hands clasped neatly on her lap, her back ramrod straight. Her nervousness was clear in the stiffness of her neck and when the group piled into the room she stood up and looked between them with an anxious twitchiness.

Laura was the first to embrace her warmly. “Merry Christmas! How’s the internship?”

Perry’s eyes flicked over to the direction of the kitchen where her mother was, and she gave a tight shrug. “Oh, you know, Ministry work.”

“You really paint a picture, Red,” Carmilla drawled.

“Merry Christmas, Carmilla.”

Carmilla spun her finger in the air next to her head in sarcastic celebration. “Joy to the world.”

“P!” Kirsch pulled Perry up into his arms and hugged her tightly. Perry looked flustered by the show of affection but she relaxed into it, patting Kirsch on the back.

“Kirsch.”

“Oh hey, dude, check out my tattoo.” He rolled up his sleeve to show that the tree had turned into a pine tree and now was laced with Christmas lights that flashed on and off – as well as the wolf being replaced with a reindeer with a bright red nose.

“That’s amazing Kirsch,” Perry’s voice was warm with sincerity and he grinned proudly.

Perry and Danny exchanged quick hugs and greetings, which just left…

LaFontaine standing at the edge of the group, staring down at a spot on the ground where they were scuffing the toe of their shoe. Perry walked towards them, everyone parting for her, and LaFontaine looked up with a timid expression.

“Hey Perr,” they said quietly.

“I got your letter.”

LaFontaine’s heart leapt into their throat. “Oh. Yeah?”

Perry continued to look them in the eye for a moment and then she leaned forward and hugged them. She whispered something into their ear and they let out a breath, returning the hug with a gentle touch.

Merlin, they’d forgotten how good it was, just to hold her. To be with her and feel like they were both actually present. They closed their eyes and felt the last of the tension start to drain from them. Then they realised that the rest of the room was dead quiet and they pulled back from the hug to see that everyone was staring at them with varying degrees of interest – from Kirsch’s gleeful look through to Carmilla’s bored expression.

“Oh my, there are so many of you!” Perry’s mother exclaimed from the doorway and Perry and LaFontaine were thankful enough that she had redirected everyone’s attention that they didn’t mind the somewhat questionable tone that she’d used.

“Carmilla dear! Lovely to see you again. I’m sorry about that business with your step mother, utterly ghastly.” Perry’s mother put a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder and then turned to Kirsch. “Are you two still together? That’s wonderful news, you do make a very handsome couple.”

At once, everyone in the room remembered how Carmilla and Kirsch had posed as a couple to find out information on the Venator last year and had different reactions. LaFontaine and Perry struggled to hold their laughter, Danny went bright red, and Laura looked caught between laughing and offering to correct Mrs Perry for her sake.

“Oh, I- we-” Kirsch stumbled over his words desperately, looking from Danny to Carmilla to Laura.

Carmilla just snorted. “No.”

Mrs Perry looked confused, both by the reply and by Carmilla’s flippant tone. Carmilla picked up on it and cleared her throat, speaking in a voice that was obvious in its sarcasm to everyone except for Perry’s mother. “I mean, we broke up. Mutually. I realised that I had a thing for short, intrepid journalists,” Carmilla wrapped an arm around Laura’s shoulders, “and he got tired of leaning down to kiss me. He was getting neck cramps.”

Mrs Perry looked no less lost but she nodded anyway. “Right, of course.” She clapped her hands together. “Well, if you’ll all come into the dining area we can start with brunch.”

At the mention of food Danny went pale, and grabbed onto Kirsch’s hand. Mrs Perry seemed to notice her for the first time and squinted. “Are you one of the Lawrences?”

“This is Danny, mother,” Perry introduced her.

“Of course! I’m so sorry I didn’t recognise you earlier, dear. The red hair and the height is quite a give away.” Perry’s mother looped her arm through Danny’s and directed her into the dining room, insisting that she take the seat next to her.

Perry watched this quietly until LaF appeared at her elbow and whispered, “That’s what you get when you turn up hung over.”

Perry’s head whipped around to LaFontaine. “She’s hung over?”

LaF just smirked back and Perry was caught between looking scandalised, laughing, and being thrown by how close their faces were. LaFontaine seemed to notice it at the same time and leaned back, clearing their throat. LaF took a seat at the table that was piled high with breakfast foods and Perry hesitated for a moment before sitting in the seat next to them, taking the napkin off the table and folding it neatly in her lap.

The brunch was going fairly well, considering Danny was doing her best to eat what she could, while Perry’s mother kept pushing food towards her. LaFontaine’s father had started discussing the environmental measures that were being put into place by the Ministry with Perry’s father - who looked the dead opposite of Perry’s mother in a way that surprised them all. Where Perry’s mother was tightly wound and frizzy, her father was blonde and laid back. (Except for when it came to the Ministry’s laws on the eco-system apparently.) Perry’s father was a non-magical, but he knew more about the Ministry policy than any of the teenagers present at the table.

Bored with her husband discussing the merits of a Bowtruckle re-introduction scheme, Sarah LaFontaine turned towards Perry. “Hades is doing great, Lola. He’s started dropping off prey by the back door step, which means that his hunting skills have improved vastly.” She sighed happily. “Nothing quite like a fully grown Thestral bringing you a dead fox.”

Perry felt the back of her neck heat up in a second as she prayed that her mother hadn’t heard.

“Who is Hades?”

Perry’s shoulders tensed. Her mother’s voice was light but there was that undercurrent that Perry didn’t trust.

Kirsch leaned forward across the table eagerly. “Oh bro, can we visit Hades? I miss that dude.”

“Lola?” Her mother’s attention was laser focused on her now.

Perry felt her face getting hot but she kept staring down at her plate.

“He’s her Thestral,” Mark LaFontaine replied, apparently unaware of the subtext that was going on in the conversation. Sarah elbowed him as subtly as she could and he rubbed his side. “What?”

Dianne Perry’s face hardened and she cleared her throat delicately, wiping at the corner of her mouth with her napkin. “Lola, dear, could you help me in the kitchen?”

Perry felt like her skin had turned into a mess of static pins and needles as she got up and followed her mother into the kitchen. After the door had swung shut behind them her mother pulled her into the furthest corner of the room and asked in a quiet, but dangerous voice, “You have a Thestral?”

“Hagrid let me...” Perry stumbled, knowing that her mother wasn’t interested in the ‘how’, just the ‘why’. “He was an orphan and I’ve been raising him.”

Her mother’s nose crinkled. “You know what my opinion on those beasts is.”

“But mother, they’re not-”

Her mother turned away from her, taking the wrapping off a pie that was sitting on the counter. “This is like your ridiculous idea to work for the Magical Creatures department.”

Perry felt her breath catch in her throat roughly.

Her mother took a knife out of the drawer and washed it in the sink. “You’re an adult now, Lola. In half a year you will graduate from school and when that happens you have to take responsibility for your life.”

“I know, mother.”

“And I know that your father loves animals, Merlin help him, and they are a nice hobby, but they certainly aren’t a career.” Her mother started to cut the pie into pieces and each clunk of the blade against the bottom of the pie tin made Perry’s heart jump.

“I know.” Perry hoped that saying this would curtail the lecture, but knew that it wouldn’t.

“You’re doing very well at the IMC, Lola.” Her mother got out a stack of small plates and started to portion the pie onto them. “I think that it’s the best path for you and your future, so please dear, don’t be distracted by a hobby.”

“Yes mother.”

“Now,” she held up two plates to Perry, “be a dear and start taking these to the table for me.”

Perry accepted the plates and started to transport the pie into the dining room, two at a time. When she finally took a seat again she felt like there was no one else in the room, no one except for her and the tears that were threatening. Everyone else was trying to make conversation, although the others in the group kept a close eye on Perry, trying to gauge her emotional state.

Perry quietly excused herself to the bathroom and walked there on auto pilot, knowing the LaFontaine home as well as she knew her own. She made it to the bathroom just in time, closing the door behind her and dragging in a deep breath as the tears started to flow down her face. She took a seat on top of the closed toilet lid and buried her face in her hands, letting herself sob quietly.

One minute, she told herself. One minute of feeling like this before she went back downstairs. One minute. She felt the emotion thunder through her chest, her mind, as she thought about the look on her mother’s face, her words; the painfully familiar feeling of being caught between what she ached to do and wanting to make her mother proud.

There was a gentle knock at the door and Perry wiped her face quickly. “Just a minute,” she said in a trembling voice that she tried to cover with a cough.

“It’s cool P, I just wanted to check if you were okay. LaF wanted to come but... They weren’t sure if-”

Perry opened the door and Kirsch was standing there with a sheepish look on his face, his palm rubbing the back of his neck. When he saw Perry’s face his expression turned concerned, his body immediately opening up to her as if he wanted to hug her but held himself back for her sake.

She collapsed into him, hugging him tightly. He returned the hug, holding back just as firmly. She buried her face in his chest and let his body act as soundproofing as her emotions started to flow more freely.

“Hey, Kirsch, I think-”

LaFontaine stepped into the small hallway that the bathroom led off from and froze at the image of Perry crying into Kirsch’s chest. Kirsch and Perry both turned to them and LaFontaine looked torn between heading over and leaving, until Perry reached for them weakly and relief swept their features as they went over and joined the hug.

After a minute Kirsch suggested that he go back downstairs, carefully watching Perry’s reaction as he did. She nodded, knowing what he was asking her, and he gave her shoulder one last squeeze before heading back down.

“Are you okay?” LaFontaine asked and Perry gave a shrug. Her emotional outburst had finally exhausted itself, leaving her feeling worn out and not knowing what to say.

“You know my mother,” she replied. This was the best she could manage, she didn’t want to have to explain things - couldn’t explain them - and to her relief LaFontaine understood what she meant right away.

“Great with pie, terrible with people.”

Despite herself Perry smiled.

LaFontaine reflected the smile and nudged her. “So you may as well get to enjoy some of that great pie.”

Perry took a deep breath in, out, and then nodded. “You’re right.” Then she remembered that she’d been crying. “I’m just going to wash my face first.”

LaFontaine nodded. “Okay.”

Perry went back into the bathroom, examined her face in the mirror and was relieved to see that the redness and puffiness wasn’t that bad. She gathered water in cupped hands and splashed it onto her face, relishing the coolness and the way that it washed the last of her tears away. She scanned her reflection in the mirror as the beads of water crawled down her skin and looked into her eyes for the answer to a silent question. After a moment she sighed and dried her face off with the off-white hand towel.

When she re-emerged from the bathroom LaFontaine was still waiting for her and seeing them there made something settle inside her. Her mother didn’t seem to notice her absence, but with LaFontaine sitting next to her she didn’t mind as much.

\---

Danny leaned against Kirsch as they walked up the path to her house and groaned. She was holding a stack of containers with food in them, which Perry’s mother had insisted she take because she hadn’t had nearly enough to eat. Kirsch rubbed her back and pressed a quick kiss to her temple.

“Why do I always pick the worst times to drink?” Danny sighed. “I’m never going to drink again.”

Kirsch laughed and she pushed his face away with her hand, the laughing was too loud and jostling for her considering how much food she had consumed in the past hour.

Everyone was trailing behind her - which, given the speed that she was walking at, was a fair effort. Carmilla had an arm draped around Laura’s shoulders and leaning her forehead against the side of Laura’s head, smiling. LaFontaine and Perry were talking, actually talking, with Perry regaling them with stories of her internship and how ridiculous office politics could be as LaF laughed heartily.

LaFontaine started as they finally looked away from Perry to stare up at Danny’s house in awe. “Damn, Lawrence, this is where you live? I mean, I knew you guys were loaded but hot _damn_.”

“I know right?” Kirsch grinned at them. “Bro, we should totally check the Quidditch field too.”

_“You have a Quidditch field?”_

Before Danny could answer them the front door flew open and the twins sprinted out, practically leaping onto Danny, and would have knocked her over if Kirsch hadn’t steadied her. The twins burst into excited chatter so fast and overlapping that no one could understand them - except Danny who was nodding and slotting in quick replies whenever they’d pause to take breaths.

Then one of the twins turned to Kirsch and stared at his right arm. “Didn’t you lose your arm?”

“Whoa, Tim, manners,” Danny reminded him.

“It’s alright.” Kirsch crouched down so he was at eye level with the twins and rolled up his sleeve. “I got a new one, want to check it out?”

Both twins stepped forward, eyes alight with interest as they stared at the vibrant tattoo.

“Can you two at least wait until they’re inside before pestering the guests?”

Danny looked up to see her dad standing on the porch and her heart tightened suddenly in her chest. With everything that was happening she hadn’t realised just how much she’d missed or needed him until this moment, and she rushed into his arms.

His breath came out of him in a whoosh and he chuckled as he hugged her back. “Missed you too, D.”

Danny gave a quick wipe at her face when she eventually let him go and gestured behind her. “You know Kirsch.” Kirsch was still crouched by the twins and he cleared his throat, stood, brushed off his pants, cleared his throat again, and gave an awkward wave. Danny introduced the rest of her friends and her dad waved them all inside.

The house smelled like hot cocoa and cinnamon and woodsmoke; and Danny breathed in deep and let herself sink into the feeling of being home.

“Hey little sister, it’s been forever since I last saw you,” Harris greeted her sarcastically with a grin and a hug.

“Yeah, starting to see some grey hair coming in.” Danny reached up to ruffle his hair.

“Don’t tease me just because I’m not a redhead. I know you’re jealous of my gorgeous locks.” He mimed a hair flip with his short brunette hair.

Danny rolled her eyes, shoving the containers into his hands. “Totally. How about you and your gorgeous locks put these away.”

He snapped his fingers. “More food. Totally what we needed.”

“What food is it?” Patrick emerged from the kitchen, taking a bite out of a piece of bacon and peering at the containers over Harris’ shoulders.

Harris held them out of Patrick’s reach. “Nuh uh. You ate all the pancakes, you’re on a food time out.”

“Oh come on!” Patrick went to follow Harris into the kitchen, and then quickly turned and gave Danny a quick one-armed hug before jogging back. “Harris! Don’t be slack!”

Jason came walking down the stairs, nose buried in a book and nodded up at her. She dragged him into a hug and he gave a disgruntled grunt, dangling the book over her shoulder. Then he spotted Kirsch over her shoulder. “Kirsch!”

Danny shoved aside the feeling of jealousy at the way that Jason bounded over to Kirsch and started animatedly talking to him.

“Someone’s the favourite,” Carmilla sang and Danny glared at her.

“Alright, everyone, lounge room, go!” Mr Lawrence called as he finally managed to herd everyone inside and shut the front door.

Danny led the way, and it took a solid twenty minutes to finally get the guests and family members into the room and settled, but compared to how hard it was to get the whole family sitting down to anything that was actually really good time.

Despite how many people there were, the lounge room didn’t look full at all. There was a huge roaring fireplace that was almost two metres wide on one wall, with all the stockings hanging above it, but somehow the licking flames didn’t damage them at all.

On the opposite corner was a tree, and if the tree at the LaFontaines’ had been ridiculous then this one was truly beyond any reason. It was several metres wide and towered up so high that the star on the top just barely fit under the roof. The lounge room was one of the rooms in the house that stretched all the way up to the roof, making it feel more like a ballroom than a living room. The section of the roof above the tree was sprinkling down warm, dry snow that collected on the leaves of the tree, making it feel truly Christmas-y. The tree was covered in decorations, some of which included miniature figures of elves, reindeer, and even a portly Santa. The figures jumped and ran from branch to branch, chasing each other around the tree.

The floor was covered with the huge rug that Danny had grown up with, a thick, comfortable, deep red with patterns woven into it. The couches were large, leather, and from generations back with clawed feet that Danny had always loved. In the other corner was a huge grand piano - also from generations back -, which was more of a family history piece than a musical instrument, since none of them could play it.

Kirsch looked completely at home sitting on one of the larger couches,  juggling conversation between the twins and Jason, while the rest of the group looked a little overwhelmed. Well, except Carmilla who was laughing by the piano with Harris while Laura was chuckling behind her hand. Danny narrowed her eyes. That was worrying.

“D, can you go help Patrick in the kitchen and make sure he doesn’t eat all the food please?”

At the mention of food her stomach turned but she nodded and headed to the kitchen. The door to the kitchen was heavy and wooden, and she shoved it open with her shoulder - a habit that she’d developed from when she was younger and getting the door open was more of an effort. She walked past the wall where everyone’s heights had been marked as they grew up, and into the main part of the kitchen. The kitchen was still left over from the old days, with a stone floor and walls, and huge, chipped wooden furniture that Danny and her brothers had gleefully carved things into at one point or another.

Against the far wall was a huge oven - black, iron and intimidating. Danny had burned herself quite badly on it at 12 years old and she still took the long way around the kitchen to avoid it. After that had happened her father had made sure to hire a cook whenever he and Harris were out of town; she’d never seen him look as scared as when he’d come to visit her at St Mungo’s.

Patrick looked up with a guilty expression on his face, half a waffle dangling out of his mouth, and still holding the container that she’d brought from the LaFontaines’.

“Relax Pat.” She went over to the large wooden table in the middle of the kitchen and peered at the platters that were sitting on it. She groaned. “Did Dad make his fruitcake?”

“It is Christmas,” Patrick replied in a weary voice.

“Someone needs to tell him that no one likes it.”

“Hey, don’t look at me I’m the middle child. Get the twins to do it.”

“Yeah but if _you_ don’t want to eat it then no one will.”

Patrick threw a piece of waffle at her and she dodged it easily. She straightened back up and smirked at him. “How’s school?”

He groaned. “School is great, _mother_.”

She rolled her eyes. “Smartass. Grab some of these things and help me, you loser.”

He shoved the rest of the waffle - which was half the size of his face - into his mouth and spoke through a full mouth, “Yes, mother.”

“Gross, Pat.”

He grinned at her through the mouthful of waffle and she gagged.

When they got back into the lounge room (with a minimal amount of hip-checking and kicking) she noticed Kirsch looking more than a little strained while he talked to her dad. The twins were now sitting on the floor, arguing as they fought over a present. She put down a plate of cookies between them and they chorused a thank you, present forgotten for the time being as they started to see who could stuff more cookies into their mouth at one time. After warning them against choking she went set down the other two plates she was holding on the coffee table in front of LaFontaine and Perry. A moment later Laura was by her side, smiling at her in a way that made Danny hand over one of the plates with a sigh. Once everything was sorted, she made her way over to Kirsch and her father.

“What are we talking about?” she asked as she slipped in next to Kirsch.

“Quidditch.”

Danny wasn’t convinced, Kirsch was shuffling from foot to foot and that was definitely not the reaction that he usually had to Quidditch. He cleared her throat and grimaced. “League rules about magical prosthetics.”

Danny’s stomach dropped.

Kirsch hadn’t mentioned anything about Quidditch after he’d gotten his prosthetic, as if he didn’t want to say anything until he got his spot on the team back, but seeing his broken expression now it seemed that her dad had answered the question for him. Her dad’s eyes flicked from Kirsch to her, sympathy clear in them, as was his discomfort. Her dad was not great with emotions that fell on the sad side of the scale at the best of times; and ripping someone’s lifelong dream away from them was definitely not the best of times.

She nudged Kirsch. “Hey, let’s go get some air okay?”

Her dad looked incredibly grateful as she led Kirsch back into the hallway and out the front door, heading to the side of the house - the side that wasn’t the Quidditch pitch.

“Are you okay?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked at a weed that was growing against the wall. “Yeah.”

She tugged lightly on the hem of his shirt and his eyes drifted up from the ground petulantly to meet hers. After a moment something melted away, softening his expression and he gave a shrug. “Sucks,” he said succinctly.

“I know.”

“I was gonna... “ He sighed deeply. “Next year. I was gonna send Oliver Wood an owl.”

“I know.”

His brow furrowed. “How? I never told you.”

She gave him a look. “I know.”

He grimaced and his eyes were back on the ground again, shoulders rising and falling roughly. “Didn’t want to jinx it,” he muttered.

“I know,” she repeated again.

He looked up at her out of the top of his eyes and, for the first time, smiled. “How’d you get so smart?”

She twisted her body away from him and flashed him a smug grin over her shoulder. “I’m just naturally gifted.”

Even though she was being sarcastic he was looking at her with a dreamy smile as if it was true. Then he diverted his gaze off to the side and sighed. “What am I gonna do, Dan?”

“You’ll figure it out.” She slipped her hand into his. “And I will use my genius to help.”

He beamed at her and pulled her in gently for a kiss. “You’re the best.”

She smirked. “I know.”

After they returned inside the afternoon progressed surprisingly smoothly - LaFontaine got into an eager conversation with Peter about potatoes; Perry, Kirsch and her dad were avidly debating Quidditch teams; Laura, Carmilla and Harris were still trading stories; and Danny had wrangled Jason into a halting conversation about the book he was reading. Danny should have known that something was bound to go wrong - which it did when Perry accidentally let slip that she wasn’t an auror anymore.

Which she hadn’t told her dad yet.

How they went from talking about Quidditch to Danny’s job she had no idea, but that was the least of her concerns right now.

“You’re not an auror anymore?” he asked her and she got the same numb feeling that she’d gotten when he’d found out that she’d broken his broom when she was seven years old.

Perry looked terrified and started mouthing apologies hastily to Danny from behind her dad’s back.

“Um.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Danny’s mind was blank. Shit. She coughed, sat up straighter and winced. “Uh. I’m working on a consultant basis?”

“Does that mean you’re a private dick?” Jason asked from next to her and she choked on air.

“A what?!”

“A private dick,” he repeated as if volume was the issue. “Like Sam Spade in ‘The Maltese Falcon’.”

“Detective! He means detective,” Kirsch quickly inserted, trying to be helpful. That explained one of the things that was swirling around in Danny’s head, but it didn’t help with the way that her dad was looking at her with a really hurt expression.

“I thought you really wanted to be an auror.”

“I do. I did. I... “ Danny stood up from her spot on the couch and her voice jumped two octaves as she asked, “Does anyone want a drink? I’m going to get a drink.”

She got five seconds alone in the kitchen, gripping onto the bench, before her dad entered the room. “D?”

She opened her eyes and turned to him. “Hey Dad,” she said weakly.

“I’m not angry,” he clarified quickly, “I’m just worried. All you’ve talked about is becoming an auror.”

She knew that he was trying to calm her down, but he was always verbally clumsy when it came to things like this. She loved him for it, his bumbling, well-meaning way, but right now she wished he’d just let her take a breath.

“Did you get fired?” he asked quietly.

“No!” She let out a sharp breath and stared down at the wooden table that she’d grown up with. So many of her memories revolved around this house, this kitchen, this table, and it was fogging up her mind right now. “I mean… Not really. I- it’s complicated.” She rubbed her forehead and finally met his eyes. “I quit.”

“Why?”

“The Ministry…” She sighed. She didn’t want to tell him about Azkaban, didn’t want to see the look on his face when she explained everything, hell she didn’t even know what she would be allowed to tell him. “I just can’t work for them, Dad. I don’t trust them. I can’t blindly follow orders.”

He didn’t react for a moment, studying her face carefully. Then he nodded and opened his arms. “C’mere, pup.”

It took a moment for her legs to work, but once they did she collapsed into his arms and realised how heavy the secret had been.

“I’m proud of you,” he murmured into her hair.

She barked a bitter laugh. “What’s there to be proud of?”

He pulled back to look her in the eyes. “Plenty.”

She couldn’t hold back the way the corners of her lips quirked and she buried her face back into his shoulder, uncomfortable with how much that single word meant to her. “Thanks Dad.”

The kitchen door swung open. “Oh, shit, sorry,” Harris apologised and then tilted his head and grinned. “Aw Dad, you forgiving her for stealing your alcohol?”

She felt her dad tense and then he, very slowly, pulled away from her so that he could examine her face. “You stole my alcohol?”

“ _Tech_ nically, Harris did.”

Harris’ mouth dropped open. “Traitor!”

Their dad sighed and waved them back out of the kitchen. “I’ll deal with this later. Go. Lounge room. Now.”

Thankfully the rest of the afternoon tea went smoothly and ended in a Quidditch match on the indoor Quidditch pitch at the side of the Lawrence house - the Lawrence brothers against Danny, Kirsch, LaFontaine and Perry with Danny’s father refereeing. Given the smaller sized teams they played with two chasers, a keeper and a beater per side. At first Harris was casual in his role as beater but as the brothers fell behind on the scoreboard he got more into it, at one point hurling the bludger towards Perry, who just slammed it back at him, hitting him in the gut and winding him.

Mr Lawrence looked impressed from his spot hovering near Danny. “Shame her mother’s got her stuck down in the IMC.” His impressed look only grew as Kirsch pulled off a corkscrew twist to score on Jason’s goals. “I know it’s not as good as being out on the pitch, but how would he feel about working with me in the Sports department at the Ministry?”

Danny looked at her dad in surprise. It had occurred to her before of course, but spots on the Department of Magical Games and Sports were highly coveted and hardly ever offered. Generally you had to play for a team before joining the department (her dad had been a reserve player for the Chudley Cannons for years and played on the pitch in one game that lasted ten minutes before he retired).

“I’ll ask him. Thanks Dad.”

He smiled at her warmly before he headed back to the middle of the pitch.

At the ground level, Carmilla and Laura were sitting in one of the empty window sills along the exposed brick walls. Laura was watching the match with sharp interest while Carmilla was sitting side on, facing her, arms wrapped around her and chin resting on her shoulder.

“Do we really have to go to Chewy’s house after this?” Carmilla sighed.

“Yes,” Laura replied without taking her eyes off the game. “We’re meeting my dad there, you know that if he doesn’t see you today he’s gonna get super mad.”

Carmilla pouted. “Yeah, but I’m tired.”

Laura kissed her on the cheek without looking away from the Quaffle. “Suck it up.”

“Hey,” Carmilla protested.

Laura finally dragged her attention away from the game and kissed Carmilla on the lips. “Sorry. I’ll make out with you in the bathroom?” Laura offered.

Carmilla smirked. “That’s what I’m talking about.” She glanced up at the Quidditch game that was still going. “How about we go do that now?”

Laura looked up, back at Carmilla, bit her lip, and then grabbed her hand and dragged her back towards the Lawrence house.

\---

“I cannot believe I found you two feeling each other up in my hallway,” Danny fumed as she stood up and brushed herself off. They had just arrived at the closest Portkey to Kirsch’s house, all of them pulling themselves back onto their feet and trying to recover from the nauseous journey. (Except Kirsch, who had landed on his feet easily - as if he’d done the journey many times.)

Laura had the good sense to look embarrassed but Carmilla just  shrugged. “Didn’t make it to your bathroom. My bad.”

Danny continued to grumble under her breath as LaFontaine subtly exchanged a high five with Carmilla. Not subtly enough though, attracting a dirty look from Danny. Kirsch steered her away from the rest of the group, taking them to the front as he led them through the abandoned warehouse that the Portkey had been hidden in.

By all counts the warehouse looked dangerously decrepit with the rusted steel beams, boarded up windows, and holes in the floor that were pitch black and assumedly went all the way down into the basement. However, as they walked through the hallway - edging around the aforementioned holes - and made their way to the rickety stairs that didn’t at all look like they could support their weight, Laura noticed that the debris had a certain symmetry and order to it, as if it was purposefully ruined. (Which made sense - and confirmed her idea that the warehouse had been charmed to keep non-magical people from finding the Portkey.)

When they reached the ground floor, Laura realised that the area that they had just come from must have been the old offices. The main section of the warehouse was huge, with large conveyer belts that were the only things left over from the old production line that were now covered in faded graffiti. Kirsch made his way through the warehouse easily, making Laura wonder how many times he’d travelled from his place to Danny’s.

He went over to the far wall where there was a long panel of boarded up windows that were only a metre off the ground, took the graffitied wooden panel away from the pane, and waved them through.

Danny went first, hoisting herself up so that she could go through the empty window legs first. The others followed suit, albeit with slightly more difficulty than Danny, until they were all out. Kirsch jumped through the window easily and replaced the wooden panel, brushing off his hands on his pants.

The sun had already set, turning the sky a dark blue and the area around them was full of shadows. There were a few more warehouses that looked in the same state as the one that they’d arrived in and were kind of spooky in the dark, but Kirsch walked through the alleyways confidently, leading them to the street where the street lamps chased away the shadows.

Laura pressed into Carmilla’s side, seeking her body heat, and Carmilla wrapped an arm around her with a smirk.

The streets were eerily quiet, they were already late for dinner thanks to the Quidditch game running long, and it seemed that everyone was already in their homes (or wherever they were celebrating Christmas). Laura kind of loved it though, this area wasn’t generally known for its quietness and seeing it like this was an experience. They passed by a colourful wall, and Laura scanned the beautiful graffiti with wide eyes, stopping in place for a moment before realising that everyone else was stopped too, looking at it with the same expression.

The piece was huge, a portrait of a man wearing a hat surrounded by a landscape of fantastical magical looking creatures - but none that any of them recognised. The breath-taking vibrancy of the art was what had stopped them, as well as the stunning size.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Carmilla agreed, giving Laura a look that spoke volumes and hinted that Carmilla wasn’t so much talking about the graffiti.

“How do non-magicals do this?” Perry asked with wonder in her voice.

“The magic of aerosols,” Carmilla replied dryly.

At the confused looks of Perry, LaFontaine and Kirsch, she rolled her eyes. “Pressurised paint.”

“Pressurised paint,” LaFontaine repeated absently, turning their attention back to the mural. “Genius.”

They stood there for a moment longer before Carmilla nudged them out of it. “Come on, Laura’s dad’ll think we died or something.”

They had to continue walking a fair while, but finally they reached a towering apartment block and all piled into a rickety elevator that groaned at the weight of all of them. Perry and Danny looked absolutely terrified (although Danny hid it far better), while LaFontaine looked excited - which only grew after the doors closed and the lift started going.

“How does this work without magic?” they asked as they examined the panel of floor numbers. “Who’s Otis? Why does it have a people limit? How can it tell?”

Kirsch shrugged. “Electricity?”

LaFontaine examined the ceiling of the elevator. “Huh. Cool.”

The elevator creaked to a stop and the doors opened so slowly that Kirsch had to shove them open fully with his shoulder and bowed to the rest of the group, letting them pass as he kept his shoulder rammed against the doors. Once everyone was out he jumped out, letting the doors inch back shut.

Perry stared at the elevator doors as they finally closed. “Are all electrical elevators like that?”

“Uh.” Kirsch unrolled his right sleeve and the started to re-roll the cuff. “No.” He avoided eye contact with Laura and Carmilla as he strode back to the front of the group and led them to his apartment. The hallway was narrow enough that they had to walk in pairs (not that anyone minded). Apartment doors lined the left side while the right only had a metre-high cement barrier, which let the winter air whistle through and create a wind tunnel that made them all band closer together defensively.

Kirsch thumped his fist on the apartment door and it swung open immediately, warmth flooding the area where the group was huddled and they all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“My baby!” An incredibly tall woman threw her arms open and Kirsch gave a huge grin as he charged into them, sweeping her off her feet. From behind her appeared a whole gaggle of people, three older women, and Sasha. Sasha pushed through to practically jump onto LaFontaine gleefully. LaF stumbled back briefly but returned the hug with just as much enthusiasm. Sasha seemed to realise herself afterwards and became shy once she separated from LaFontaine, smiling bashfully at the rest of them.

She looked better than when they’d seen her last, her cheeks fuller and dimpled. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail with colourful hair bands, and her Christmas jumper tinkled with decorative bells.

“How you been, kiddo?” LaFontaine asked warmly.

She flushed a healthy pink as her smile grew. “I got a bike for Christmas.”

“Dude, nice!”

“It used to be Timmy’s - he’s our neighbour - and it’s a boy bike but it’s a BMX so I can learn how to do stunts on it and he said that he’d teach me,” she explained in a run-on sentence, her hands flying in different directions. She blushed a deeper red and shrugged. “I think it’s kind of cool.”

“It’s totally cool,” LaF agreed.

She lit up. “Wanna see it?” When LaFontaine nodded she grabbed them by the hand and dragged them inside, throwing a quick introduction to her older sisters Gretchen and Marnie and Marnie’s girlfriend Louisa as they passed them. Sasha dragged them into the lounge room, which was a fairly cramped room with a low ceiling and worn beige carpet covered with a range of faint stains. An old, chipped piano was against the left wall, and next to it dominating the corner was a plastic Christmas tree covered with clearly handmade decorations. The piano was blocked off by a couch that had been moved there from its place against the opposite wall, where there was now a long table covered in a colourful Christmas themed plastic tablecloth. There was an eclectic range of chairs around the table, including wooden dining tables with the paint scuffed off, plastic fold up chairs, and plastic stools.

Sasha pulled them through the living room to the small hallway on the other side and opened the door to a bedroom that was absolutely chock full of things, including the television set from the lounge room. Sasha picked her way through the room, dodging the furniture that had been pushed in there for Christmas, to get to the bike that was standing in the middle of the room. The bike was clearly used, with a long scrape in the paint down one side, but still looked in decent working condition.

Sasha stood next to the bike proudly and LaF smiled at her. “It looks awesome, Sash.”

“After dinner do you think we can go take it for a ride outside?”

“We’ll ask,” LaFontaine promised and Sasha beamed.

“Sasha! Come help in the kitchen!”

“Coming!” Sasha called out and stepped over everything to get out of the room again. “Do you like ham?”

LaFontaine grinned. “I love ham.”

“Me too!”

LaFontaine followed her back through the lounge room to the kitchen as Sasha told them about one time when Marnie had to fight a woman for the last ham in the store. “But now Marnie’s dating her daughter so...”

They got to the kitchen as Laura’s dad was bringing the ham out of the oven, and the smell was almost unbearably delicious, making LaFontaine’s mouth water. Mr Hollis wiped his hands off on a tea towel and introduced himself to LaFontaine. “I’m Laura’s dad. You must be LaFontaine.”

“Guilty,” LaFontaine replied. “Nice to meet you Mr Hollis.”

“And you.”

The kitchen was barely large enough to fit more than two people in one go, especially with the oven door open, and he turned on the spot to grab a large dish of mashed potatoes and a smaller one of cranberry sauce. “Do you mind putting this on the table for me?”

“Totally.”

He handed a collection of condiment jars to Sasha, who followed LaFontaine back into the lounge room as she started to tell them about the time that the power went out during Christmas a few years ago and they ended up lighting a bunch of candles and almost set fire to the tree.

Everyone else was in the lounge room by this point; Marnie, her girlfriend and Kirsch were animatedly talking on the couch, while their mother was directing the Hogwarts kids to their assigned seats around the table.

Carmilla sat on the fold up chair at her spot on the corner of the table and when she leaned back the seat cushion tilted dangerously so she carefully shifted her weight forward, making a mental note not to move too much. LaFontaine put the mashed potatoes down in the middle of the table in front of her and she breathed the smell in.

Carmilla leaned over to Laura, who was eyeing the cracker in front of her as if staring at it hard enough would let her see what was inside. “I love your dad’s mashed potatoes.”

“Same,” Laura replied absently - still focused on the cracker. “Wait, what?” She blinked at the mashed potatoes. “Oh. I didn’t know my dad was cooking. I should go say hi.” Laura stood when Carmilla stayed sitting she gave her an expectant look. Carmilla sighed, she’d only just gotten to sit down, but _fine_.

They both inched past the chair at the end of the table and headed to the kitchen, where Laura’s dad was pouring the gravy into a gravy boat.

“Dad! Hey!”

He glanced up from the gravy boat and his face split into a wide smile. “L Bear!” He put down the saucepan and dodged the overflowing bin to embrace her. After a moment he held one arm open towards Carmilla, who rolled her eyes but immediately joined the hug.

Carmilla was far less thrilled twenty minutes later when she was wearing pink and purple paper crowns - one from her cracker and the other from Laura’s. They sat at opposite angles on her head, and even her strongest glower couldn’t stop Danny from almost falling off her chair laughing at her. Carmilla leaned back and threw the plastic motorcycle toy that she’d gotten in her cracker at the back of Danny’s head. Which also didn’t stop her from laughing. Especially when Carmilla forgot about the seat’s sensitive balance and almost fell through the hole between the seat cushion and the back of the chair.

The magical kids were along one side of the table (excluding Kirsch), while the Kirsch family kids and Louisa were on the other side. The adults sat at each end of the table and Kirsch’s mother stood, clearing her throat and holding a glass of champagne up.

“I’d like to make a toast.”

Silence fell over the table as everyone held up their glasses - everyone had champagne except Sasha who had a glass of sparkling apple juice.

Mrs Kirsch looked around the table with a warm smile. “To family. I can’t put into words how happy I am to have you all here today. This year hasn’t been the easiest one for us, but being able to sit around the table with our family,” she purposefully made eye contact with each of the Hogwarts kids before raising her glass higher, “our whole family, makes it worth it. Merry Christmas.”

Everyone echoed ‘merry christmas’ back and took sips of their drinks.

The table fell back into relaxed chatter as everyone started to eat, grouping off into conversations with the people they were seated near.

“I love your tattoo,” Louisa said to Kirsch.

Kirsch glanced down at his arm, the tattoo was a static image now - since Louisa was a non-magical person - but it was still beautifully coloured. He swallowed the food in his mouth and grinned. “Thanks.”

“It’s very, uh, seasonal.” Her eyebrow quirked. “What do you do for the rest of the year?”

He cleared her throat and reached for his champagne. “Oh, um, I just really love Christmas.” He shrugged a nod and took a sip of the champagne.

“Yes apparently in this family we get tattoos and don’t tell our mothers about them,” Mrs Kirsch said as she casually spooned herself some peas.

Kirsch’s ears went pink and he muttered, “Sorry, Ma.” He shoved a forkful of food into his mouth and stared down at his plate.

She gave a small sigh and put a hand on his left one. “It _is_ beautiful.”

His ears turned a darker red and he glanced up at her. “Thanks, Ma.”

“Don’t speak with your mouth full.”

He swallowed obviously and shot her a huge grin. She reached over and pinched his cheek, making his grin get comically larger. “Cheeky bastard,” she said warmly as she patted his cheek.

At the other end of the table Laura’s dad was leaning towards Carmilla and Laura, his food yet to be touched. “So girls, how is school?”

“It’s great, Dad. We’re learning a bunch,” Laura replied as she cut into her ham. “This ham is beautiful by the way, did you give Mrs Kirsch your recipe?”

“Oh,” he gestured vaguely as his eyes flicked around the food on the table, “I actually, um, came early to help. You know how much I love cooking.” He stabbed a piece of carrot with his fork and shoved it into his mouth.

Carmilla watched him with an intrigued look. “Right. Cooking.”

He glanced over at Carmilla and shovelled another large piece of carrot into his mouth. Carmilla held back a smile and turned her attention back to the food on her plate. Laura looked between the two of them with narrowed eyes before making a mental note to ask Carmilla about it later on.

Further down the table, Sasha leaned forward eagerly and asked, “/you’re LaF’s girlfriend right?”

Perry’s neck turned a deep red and she suddenly became fascinated with the base of her champagne glass. “Oh, I, uh, we, we…”

“We decided that being friends was way cooler,” LaFontaine slipped in. Perry gave them a grateful look and they just gave her a small, slightly sad smile.

Sasha didn’t seem to notice the exchange between them as her expression became thoughtful. “Friends are super cool. Josh - this boy from my class at school - asked me to be his girlfriend but I don’t really want to be because like I like being his friend and I don’t know if I want to be _anyone_ ’s girlfriend.” She frowned. “It seems like it involves a lot of kissing and I don’t really want to kiss anyone.”

“What did you say?” Perry asked. At first she hadn’t known how to treat Sasha, but she was making a clear effort now, even as her shoulders remained tense and she struggled over how to phrase things.

Sasha shrugged. “I ran away.”

LaFontaine snickered and Perry couldn’t help but smile.

After dinner, Kirsch and Sasha were clearing away the plates when she asked him something that made him almost break a plate.

“What happened to your arm?”

The stack that he’d been balancing slipped and he reacted quickly, adjusting for the slip and managing to catch them with the other stack that he was holding. He dumped both stacks into the sink and swallowed before turning to her. “I got a tattoo. A magic tattoo. Cos, you know, holiday spirit.” He made the Christmas lights blink off and on before turning it back into a static image.

“It’s not your arm though.”

“Sure it is.” He swallowed. “I just got a tattoo on it.”

“Nuh,” she shook her head firmly, “I was tapping you on it before and you didn’t even notice. Plus,” she grabbed his arm and brought it in front of her face, “I know your arm. It’s different. You have a mole right here.” She pointed at a spot on the arm that clearly had no mole. “The lucky mole, remember?”

He suddenly remembered - eight years ago when Sasha was 3 years old and before he knew that he was a wizard. She used to get scared by the couple that lived above them who would argue every night; she thought that they were evil ghosts in the ceiling so he’d tell her about his lucky mole and that if she ever needed protection that if she pressed it three times she’d activate the magical shield that would keep their family safe. For months she’d fall asleep in his bed, her pudgy fingers pressed against his mole.

How had he forgotten about that?

He crouched down so that he was at Sasha’s height. “Okay, but it’s a secret okay? You can’t tell Ma, or Gretchen, or Marnie.”

She nodded with wide eyes. He held up his pinkie finger and she wrapped her around his and they both kissed their respective fists.

“I have a magic arm,” he said quietly.

“Whoa, really?” she stared at his right arm.

He grabbed a fork from the counter and held it over his right palm with his left hand. Then he let go and it stayed hovering in place, spinning slowly. Sasha gasped, her eyes lighting up and her expression flooding with wonder. He let it spin a few more times before sending it over to the sink.

She watched it go and then turned her attention back to Kirsch. “What happened to your old arm?”

Kirsch felt a violent nausea rip through his insides and tried to swallow it down as he arranged words in his mind. Suddenly Sasha’s arms were around his neck and she was holding onto him tightly. “Your new arm’s super cool,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he said with a hollow voice. She kissed him just under his ear and squeezed tighter.

“Sasha, are you going to play carols?” Mrs Kirsch called from the lounge room.

“Yes Ma!” she yelled back. Then she pulled away from Kirsch and examined his expression. “Are you okay?”

The gentleness that she asked it with made Kirsch smile and he ruffled her hair. “You bet, kid.”

She twisted away from his hair-ruffling and went back into the lounge room. Kirsch stood up and stared down at his right arm, closing and opening a fist, before following her.

“Where’s your bathroom?” Carmilla asked Mrs Kirsch.

“Its through there,” Laura’s dad answered automatically, gesturing towards the small hallway. “On the left.”

Carmilla’s eyebrow rose and she sent a look towards Laura before heading in that direction. Laura was confused for a moment, unsure of what the look meant, before it clicked and she excused herself, heading in the same direction.

Carmilla was waiting for her in the bathroom doorway, leaning against the frame with her thumb hooked through her belt loop. When Laura came into view she smirked and shifted aside, holding an arm up to welcome her into the bathroom, and Laura gave a small curtsey before she walked in. The doorway was so narrow that even with both of them twisting to accommodate for the other they brushed against each other and Laura looked up at Carmilla through her eyelashes as they did.

Carmilla let out a breath and closed the door, locking it and the moment she turned to face Laura she was pinned against it. Which was just really, _really_ awesome.

It was somewhat less awesome when Marnie knocked on the door and Carmilla and Laura had to walk out, rearranging their clothes and patting down their hair. Especially with the bemused look she gave them.

By this point, the lounge room had turned into an all out Christmas carol extravaganza. Sasha was balanced on the back of the couch as she played the piano while the room was led in singing by an enthusiastic Mrs Kirsch. Carmilla tried to back out of the room immediately, but Laura grabbed her by the hand and dragged her further in. It took some pouting, but eventually Carmilla started singing along too, albeit with some heavy eye-rolling.

When Sasha smoothly transitioned into the ‘Christmas at Hogwarts’ tune the group started, surprised at all the Kirsch family’s knowledge of the carol. They all stared at Kirsch, who had walked up to his mother and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He just grinned back at them and continued to sing, loud and proud.

Eventually, they joined in, much to Louisa and Mr Hollis’ confusion.

“I’ve never heard that one before,” Louisa commented once it wrapped up with a broad gesture from Kirsch.

“It’s our, uh, school carol.”

“You have a school carol,” she repeated disbelievingly.

“We _really_ like Christmas.”

She glanced at his tattoo. “Right…”

“Jingle Bells?” Sasha suggested, hammering out the first few notes on the piano. The rest of the room jumped at the idea, with LaFontaine leading the room into the carol with buckets of gusto.

\---

The sound of twigs snapping broke through the forest night and a bird took flight as the sound got louder, voices joining it.

“Where are we?”

“How much longer do we have to walk?”

“Is this area safe?”

“Shut _up_ ,” Carmilla exploded. “Is it impossible for you guys to stay quiet for longer than five minutes?”

There was a moment of silence and then a muttering of apologies, to which Carmilla rolled her eyes.

Finally they reached the thickest part of the forest, where the trees were impossibly tall and most of them had claw marks on them, as well as a large, flat rock. The rock that she’d first transitioned to her Animagus form.

Carmilla stopped walking and the rest of them just looked at her expectantly, sensing that this meant something but unable to tell what. She glanced over at them, searching for some sort of recognition, and let out a frustrated huff when she realised that they didn’t somehow see it, as if explaining it was an effort on her part.

“This is my step mother’s estate. Apparently it’s mine now.” She walked towards the rock. “I hate the house. But this place...” She ran her hand over the rock and lost her words. She may have hated living here, but there was something about this spot in particular that felt - not like returning home - but like returning to somewhere that meant something.

Someone stepped towards her, crunching the forest floor, but she didn’t turn around. She felt like an exposed nerve, and she didn’t know if she could turn around right now. Not if she had to see their sympathy. She didn’t do this for sympathy.

“Thank you.”

Carmilla tilted her head slightly to see Laura by her side. She slowly let her gaze drift up to Laura’s face, wanting to make eye contact with her but unsure about what she’d find. When she finally made it to Laura’s eyes all she found was a patient expression lined with warmth.

She shrugged, not trusting herself to talk right now.

“Wait, so you own this place?” LaFontaine asked.

Carmilla turned back to the rest of the group. “Yeah.” Her eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Well, just you know, hypothetically, you would be able to set some fireworks off right?”

“Hypothetically,” Carmilla echoed.

“Yeah, or like,” LaFontaine swung the backpack over to their front, opened it up and grabbed a handful of fireworks, “literally.”

“You told me you were keeping the presents in there!” Perry exclaimed from LaFontaine’s side.

“Relax, Perr. Totally safe.” They tapped the fuses of the fireworks that were all clumped into one with a cap over the ends. “See?”

Perry didn’t look convinced but she didn’t say anything, her mouth tightening into a thin line.

“So? Christmas fireworks?” LaFontaine asked with a broad grin.

Carmilla’s face shifted, her lips curling up into a smirk. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

As LaFontaine was setting up the fireworks in the open space next to the forest Perry stood next to them, holding their bag. “I really wish you’d told me you were bringing fireworks. What if something had gone wrong?”

LaFontaine twisted something between the fireworks and squinted up at Perry. “Come on, Perr. Fireworks are my thing. Plus,” they finished with the fireworks and stood up, “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“I know, I just-” Perry took in a quick breath and dropped her gaze to the ground. “I just wish you’d told me.”

There was something to her tone that spoke of something far deeper than the fireworks and LaF tilted their head. Gently they reached out and took their bag back from Perry, the contact causing her to look back up at them. “I’m sorry,” they apologised sincerely.

“It’s okay.” She shook her head, as if to rid the thoughts from them. “It’s- it’s fine.”

“No, I...” LaF ran a hand through their hair and glanced back towards the treeline where the rest of the group was. “Thank you for today. I know it wasn’t an easy day, but it was really nice to be able to...”

“Be us again?” Perry finished the sentence for them.

LaFontaine smiled sadly and nodded. “Yeah.”

“It was,” Perry agreed. She bit her lip and then knotted her fingers together and twisted them. “I’m not saying that things are better now, or that they’ve been fixed, or that it won’t take a while but...” She paused for a long moment and LaFontaine fought to keep their hope under wraps. “You’re still my best friend.” Her eyes shone as she stared at LaF. “And maybe after everything you don’t want to be friends anymore, but I...”

LaFontaine hugged her.

They didn’t know what to say so they put everything into that hug, the feeling, the warmth, the apology, the understanding. The promise that they’d work for the friendship.

They felt Perry breath against them, the tension running out of her shoulders, and they knew that she returned it.

“What do you think they’re doing?” Danny squinted, trying to see what was happening. She was casually leaning into Kirsch while Carmilla sat between Laura’s legs, arms draped over her knees.

“Looks like a Hallmark moment,” Carmilla replied.

“Do you think we should open presents before or after or during?” Laura asked.

“After, bro.” Kirsch frowned as he considered it. “Or before.”

Carmilla nodded. “Agreed. They got an Ultimate Triple Whizz Bang-a-Rama, it would be blasphemy to not pay attention.”

“What is that?” Danny asked. “It sounds like a weird candy.”

Carmilla scoffed. “‘Weird candy’. You’re so uneducated.”

“Ex _cuse_ you.”

Carmilla and Danny were well into bickering with each other when LaFontaine and Perry got back to the group.

“... and frankly I think that it’s ridiculous that you-”

“Whoa, should I postpone the fireworks for World War 3 or what?” LaFontaine asked.

Both of them stopped arguing, rolling their eyes and tilting their bodies so that they were facing separate ways. LaFontaine sat between them, readying their wand to set off the fireworks.

Perry hesitated before sitting down. “I just want to say something first.”

LaFontaine lowered their wand and gestured for her to go on.

“I thought after last year that this school year couldn’t get any more, uhm, ridiculous.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

“I just... I’m just really glad that we’re all here.” Her eyes fell on LaFontaine’s face and their lips quirked into a small smile. “And I just wanted to say that I love all of you.”

Kirsch let out a long ‘aw’ and held his arms open for a hug, which Perry gave him as he loudly declared that he also loved them all. Laura joined him shortly afterwards, leaving Carmilla to wrap her arms around them, as did LaFontaine.

Carmilla and Danny looked at each other. Danny subtly tried to inch away from the mess of a group hug that was next to her, but before she could get far Kirsch noticed and pulled her into the thick of it.

“Carm!” Laura gestured for her, but Carmilla shook her head.

“Save yourself!” Danny shouted as LaFontaine trapped her on the other side so she was right in the middle of the group hug. Laura detached from the group, heading for Carmilla, who was on her feet in a second and backing away with her hands held up.

“Laura,” Carmilla warned.

In response Laura smiled wickedly and sped up, running across the field towards her. Carmilla yelped and ran, so that they were doing wide loops in the grass, until LaFontaine decided to join the chase too and they cornered her and hugged her tightly despite her loud protests.

It took another fifteen minutes for everyone to finally settle back down, sitting down in a huddle with Perry charming a fireplace in front of them to keep away the chill of the night.

“You ready for this?” LaFontaine asked, smile wild and bright.

“Just do it, Ginger Snap.”

Carmilla had Laura sitting in her lap, who she’d forgiven after an apology and a pout. Her hand had snuck under her shirt and was tracing above the line of her jeans, making Laura squirm against her.

LaFontaine set the fireworks off with their wand and Kirsch let out a loud whoop as the fireworks spun up and up and up into the night sky, sending sprays of sparks in every direction. Once they hit a certain height they exploded, then each part exploded again, and again, in every colour you could imagine. Soon enough the whole sky was covered in bright colours, millions of shades that looked like a colour wheel.

Carmilla tore her eyes from the firework show for a moment, looking at everyone else. These people, her people. They were all still watching the fireworks so it let her study their faces properly. Kirsch’s naked glee and wonder so like a child’s - except not from ignorance, but from the pure awe that people so rarely let themselves feel. Danny was resting her head on Kirsch’s shoulder and for once her walls were down, instead her face was bare and open and peaceful. LaFontaine was practically vibrating with joy as their mouth dropped open into a smile, they nudged Perry with their shoulder and pointed up at the sky, leaning over to explain something to her. Perry’s attention went from the fireworks, to LaFontaine’s finger, to LaFontaine’s face; which she watched with the same wonder that had been playing over Kirsch’s face, except hers was mixed with an abashed disbelief. Laura - stunning, beautiful Laura - was studying the fireworks with a degree of concentration, as if trying to commit each small spark to memory. Carmilla kissed Laura on the neck, struck with the sudden need to show her affection, to tell her how much she loved her without using words.

Laura turned to her, distracted from the fireworks for a moment, and smiled. She leaned down to kiss her and Carmilla returned it, the idea of how lucky she was echoing in her mind again and again and again...

Kirsch gasped. “Dudes!”

They separated and Carmilla looked back up to the sky to see that the colours had become a background for what was now a huge castle made of fireworks, with a dragon flying around the towers and ducking under the drawbridge, to spin up and up and finally down towards them to shoot what looked like fire at them.

Perry squealed and ducked her face into LaFontaine’s shoulder while they laughed and whooped. The dragon exploded, sending rainbow sparks flying, while the castle behind it also blew up and a phoenix emerged from the explosion. It flew up, up, up, until it too burst into sparks that rained down gently from the sky. The sparks illuminated the Dean castle below, falling on the roof and trickling down the towers in a slow stream.

“Merry fucking Christmas,” Carmilla repeated again, this time to herself.

“Merry Christmas, Carm.” Laura kissed her on the cheek and damned if Carmilla didn’t blush as she smiled down at the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to get any extras about this story (AKA me flailing/ranting about it) then follow me on tumblr at churchofyourcurves or check out the tag #carmilla hp au


	41. The Epilogue

“You’re seriously not going to help?” Danny asked, standing in front of Carmilla and wiping the back of her arm across her forehead.

Carmilla folded down the newspaper - which had ‘Minister Pullen Overhauls Azkaban Sentencing System, Abolishes Wand Registry’ across the front page - and looked up at Danny over her sunglasses. “I thought this was a birthday present.”

“Well, yeah, but we’re _building you a house_.”

“Danny!” Perry called from the other side of the half-constructed house in the clearing. “Can you help me with something?”

Carmilla gave her an expectant look and Danny grunted in annoyance before going over to Perry.

“You shouldn’t tease her like that,” Laura chastised her as she grabbed one of the water bottles out of the cooler and took a long sip.

“Maybe.” Carmilla looked over at Laura and used her forefinger to pull down her sunglasses. “Damn, Hollis. You look good in a singlet.”

Laura blushed.

“Bro, Danny, bro! Look what I can do!” Kirsch had a huge stone brick hovering above his right hand, which he was holding straight up above his head. He started to spin it slowly and looked at Danny eagerly.

Danny sighed. “Kirsch, I told you, I’m your girlfriend, not your bro.”

“Okay, sorry, girlfriend. This is cool though, right?”

“Yes, very cool,” she replied.

He grinned and drifted it down slowly to slot into a spot on the wall that they were building.

It was the end of the summer holidays and for Carmilla’s birthday they had all decided to build her a house on the Dean land, but instead of putting it near the old family home, they were building it in the forest, in a small clearing that was close to the rock that she had showed them on Christmas.

Carmilla had almost cried.

So, naturally, she was making up for it now by pretending that she didn’t care in the slightest. Which meant sitting on a lawn chair with a radio blasting from the folding table next to her, reading a newspaper and drinking lemonade.

Laura’s dad was a contractor and had planned and sorted out most of the more advanced parts of the building, and now the rest of the work was being done by the group using magic, which was good because the heat wave was not making the idea of physical exertion very appealing.

“I know that it sucks that you have to re-do seventh year, but I’m kinda glad that I get to do it with you.”

Carmilla smiled at Laura. “Same.”

Given the amount of time Carmilla had missed of her seventh year she was given the option to re-take it thanks to ‘extenuating circumstances’. She'd only gotten five minutes into her explanation before Headmistress McGonagall had muttered something about 'Potter' and waved her out of the office, agreeing to let her repeat the grade.

Kirsch was also given the chance, after he’d bombed some of his exams, but he refused. The Ministry Sports Department wasn’t too hung up on grades, and once he'd played a match with some of the employees they'd agreed to let him work his way up through the ranks. Besides, he was just thrilled that he’d gotten an Exceeds Expectations in Defence Against the Dark Arts and no Trolls.

Perry had achieved a slew of Outstandings and Exceeds Expectations, as well as one Acceptable (which she contested very strongly but was unsuccessful in changing). She had accepted a role full time at the IMC and while it wasn’t what she was passionate about, it did mean that she and Kirsch could meet for lunch every day, which they both considered a bonus. And whenever Danny had an appointment at the Ministry she would join them, although she preferred not to - she’d gotten enough of office politics and gossip from her small stint in the auror office.

While Danny was still helping Minister Pullen with restructuring the Ministry, she had also started her own private investigator firm using her many skills and Ministry connections. It was slow going, especially given Danny's sometimes lacklustre people skills, but Kirsch helped out when he could, and LaFontaine could be surprisingly customer orientated.

LaFontaine refused to go back and redo their seventh year, despite Perry and even Carmilla's encouragement. They didn't want to work as a healer anymore because the idea of stepping foot in the Ministry after what had happened at the protest left them shaking. Plus, in their words, the schooling system wouldn't teach them anything that they couldn't learn themselves. They didn't need some test to prove that they were smart. And Libatius Borage could suck it. Carmilla was firmly on their side after that speech.

Now they worked with Danny, patching her up if she needed it, experimenting with potions in the back room, and answering the owls. Danny had been pissed off enough times that the owls automatically avoided her and went straight to LaF.

There was an explosion to the side of the half-built house where LaF was staring down at the bucket of mortar in front of them.

“LaFontaine! Stop trying to make the mortar more magical, it will hold fine!” Perry called out from the other side of the construction site. “Come help us!”

LaF sighed and abandoned their project. “F _ine_.”

“Oh and bring the mortar!”

LaF threw their hands up in the air but doubled back, collecting the bucket without complaining out loud, and heading over. When they got there a hushed conversation started and Carmilla would have been paying more attention, except Laura was stretching out her shoulder muscles by reaching up as high as she could and her singlet was inching up and...

“Can you go for a walk for a little while?” Perry was suddenly in front of Carmilla and when did that happen?

Carmilla glanced over at Laura. “I can do that.” She stood, grabbed Laura’s hand and dragged her towards the forest. Laura yelped, surprised by the sudden movement, but she settled into a giggle and jogged to keep up with Carmilla’s breakneck speed.

“Half an hour, okay?” Perry called after them.

“Okay!” Laura replied, because right now Carmilla honestly did not give a damn about punctuality.

Forty-five minutes later and with what felt like a splinter in her ass, Carmilla finally let Laura lead them back to the clearing.

When they got there the group was standing in a line stiffly, as if they hadn’t been allowed to move at all. Behind them was a thick red curtain, which was extremely high and quite long, shielding the construction site. It wasn’t attached to anything visible, holding itself up in place with the same rigidity as everyone else.

Carmilla sighed and rolled her eyes. Of course.

“Thank you for joining us Carmilla,” Perry said in one of her more formal tones and if she didn’t look so anxious Carmilla would have thought she was being passive aggressive.

“I know that we asked you if you wanted the house because _some_ of us thought that we should ask before we build.” Perry paused and Danny scowled. “But, questionable morality of building on a piece of land we don’t own aside, we did want this to be a semi-surprise, so...” Perry waved her wand and the red curtain (where they’d found it, Carmilla had no idea) fell to the ground, showing...

A cottage. It wasn’t large by any means, it probably only had one bedroom, but Carmilla certainly didn’t mind that. Quaint was the first word that came to mind, it looked straight out of a fairy tale book with its red brick walls, stone slate roof, and chimney that went up the side. The windowsills and door were a matching rich green colour, and there was something so beautifully familiar about the house that it made Carmilla’s chest ache quite suddenly.

Even though she’d known about it, even though she’d laughed at the bickering when everyone was trying to work together, seeing it, seeing _this_ , was different.

“Holy shit.”

Perry looked like she was going to burst, her hands clapped together in front of her lips; Kirsch was literally hopping from foot to foot; LaFontaine was grinning proudly; and Danny looked caught between smugness and genuine happiness. Laura walked over to the rest of them to stand in front of the cottage and give her a shy smile. “Happy birthday, Carm.”

“You guys...” Her voice cracked. “You fucking...”

“We love you too, Karnstein,” Danny said.

“Shut up, Lawrence,” Carmilla growled, but her voice was watery. She finally stepped forward, eyes full to the brim as they scanned every inch of the cottage.

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Kirsch rushed forward and pulled Carmilla into a huge hug. Once everyone else saw that she stood there actually accepting it, nay, returning it, they joined him.

“It’s like way bigger on the inside, by the way,” LaFontaine explained as the group hug broke. When Laura started laughing they frowned, puzzled by her reaction.

“Are you the Doctor?” Laura asked, snickering in bursts.

“Doctor who?”

This made Laura burst into a whole new round of laughter. Carmilla rolled her eyes, kissed her girlfriend on the temple, and started handing around the Butterbeer from the cooler. LaFontaine continued to question what Laura was talking about, but Carmilla refused to answer, Kirsch was stumped, and Laura couldn’t pull herself together enough to form an answer.

“Where’d you even get the curtain from?” Carmilla asked as she handed Perry her Butterbeer.

Perry shook her head. “A lady doesn’t give away her secrets.”

Carmilla scoffed but tilted the neck of her bottle forward. Perry blushed happily as she clinked her bottle against Carmilla’s.

“Well, thanks, Red.”

“Of course.”

Carmilla walked towards the cottage, running her hand over the painted wooden door, giving herself a moment to take it in. There were no tears threatening, but she did feel a lump rising in her throat - _God Karnstein, pull yourself together_ \- she swallowed hard and turned back to her friends with a wry smile. “Alright, who’s giving me the tour?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's all folks :) I want to thank you all for reading, and many thanks to those who kudos-ed and commented, you guys really make my day.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> (And yes, just quietly, there will probably be more coming, whether that's a full length fic or some shorts I'm not sure yet, but I'll probably take a bit of a break before taking that on.) If you want any updates on the story, wanna drop me an ask about it, or anything else, then just head on over to my tumblr churchofyourcurves.tumblr.com, or the tag #carmilla hp au
> 
> Once again thank you, and have a good one, lovelies xx


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